Stand Up -> To Reschedule

[Alcaeus]

Hey Lads,

After you stand a girl up, what is the best way to reschedule another date?

Thus far is my technique:

Day 1: Stood her up, followed by a situational text that doesn't apologize or seek anything. I just simply explained what happened.
For me I had a doctors appointment.

Day 2: Radio Silence (She is definitely still angry at me, so lets pretend I fell off the face of the earth and don't exist)

Day 3: This one is the doozy, I need some help with.

Just calling her out of the blue
(This can be a bit jarring, and unexpected and the only thing this method has gong for it, is the amount of effort utilized. But even though this technique is lower effort, I feel it is too volatile to handle.)

Vs

Do I send her a text like, " Hey, gonna give you a ring in a little." And then I call her in 5-10 minutes or so.
(In my mind, the text would warm her up, bring back emotions of anticipation, anger, thrill, and possibility. Then when I call her things should be a bit more productive.)

I'm leaning toward the second method more than the former. Let me know what you guys think.

-Alcay

 

[Franco]

Alcaeus,

Day 1: Stood her up, followed by a situational text that doesn't apologize or seek anything. I just simply explained what happened.
For me I had a doctors appointment.

Did you cancel the date with ample enough time to seem reasonable? Or did you just not show up and then send her an explanation?

It's important you give a girl at least a few hours notice if you're going to reschedule or cancel, otherwise you're just asking for her to be angry and have negative emotions toward you. Negative emotions can only usually be something that can be swung in your favor if you've already slept with her. But without any true emotional control over her, you'll likely just send her into auto-rejection without a proper cancellation.

- Franco

 

[Alcaeus]

Alcaeus,

Did you cancel the date with ample enough time to seem reasonable? Or did you just not show up and then send her an explanation?

Nah bro, I stood her up. Didn't send her anything until 3 hours after the date was scheduled. I'm usually very courteous, but I wanted to lean as far as I could on the bad boy wavelength. You know, for calibration purposes.

It's important you give a girl at least a few hours notice if you're going to reschedule or cancel, otherwise you're just asking for her to be angry and have negative emotions toward you. Negative emotions can only usually be something that can be swung in your favor if you've already slept with her. But without any true emotional control over her, you'll likely just send her into auto-rejection without a proper cancellation.

Yeah, I totally agree, without that sexual investment, I am certainly playing with fire.

Thanks for looking out. I'm quite interested in how tomorrow will turn out.

-Alcay

 

[Estate]

Not sure if everyone will agree but I think you've lost this one man. Standing her up and not acknowledging it means your pretty much done as far as dating her goes.

The guideline would be... if you're got to bail, let her know beforehand. When you bail, give a simple excuse if you want but propose another meeting.
Guys and girls both do this... if you cancel without proposing another time, you're telling the person that you are bailing.
If you at least propose another time, then it's saying that your excuse is legit. It doesn't guarantee she'll be okay with it but in most cases, if she is already interested, she will give you the benefit.

As for when to let her know? Probably the morning of or evening before... that sort of allows for the possibility of the "something JUST came up" excuse.

 

[Chase]

Yep. The only acceptable scenario for standing a girl up (i.e., not contacting her before the date to cancel, but out-and-out pulling a no-show) is if you get in contact with her ASAP after the schedule date time and PROFUSELY apologizing and offering to make it up with her. At that point it's 50-50. Maybe she says okay and is even more attracted, maybe she just doesn't respond to you again.

I've lost girls who were ready to go to bed with me as soon as we just chatted for a half hour on the date by standing them up (accidentally; I forgot we had a date and didn't have my phone with me or was with another girl, or I left my phone at home or didn't have a SIM card in whatever city I was in and was coordinating everything in person or by email and got lost on my way there). Even if she's super into you, this is a bad, bad, risky move.

Flaking on girls prior to the first date? Bumps your conversion rates on your real first date (the one that comes after this). Standing girls up? Dramatic fall off in conversion rates (because unless you get in contact and apologize profusely, she'll go sub-zero on you, deep into the arctic of auto-rejections).

Chase

 

[Alcaeus]

Chase, Franco, Estate and everyone who read this post but didn't have the time to comment, thank you.

The story continues in a FR over here:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=6847&p=32093&hilit=alcaeus#p32093