FR Starting Out Part V (1/3)

[AFCnoob]

Summary: Meet a girl at the venue where I work, number close her effortlessly.

[Lisa] Asian American [Rating: objective 8/subjective 7][Age: @22](closed)
*note: the disparity in objective/subjective rating is based on the fact that [Lisa] simply became less attractive to me as I got to know more about her personality.

Open: natural
[Lisa] showed up at the venue where I work. She was AFoG of her group, and was also throwing out a rather superior vibe. It was Halloween, and she was dressed quite sexy and looked damn good. I actually figured she would be too challenging for me at that point, so I didn't pay too much attention to her. She came back later with her friends trying to score free drinks. I told her they weren't available, but she persisted. "Tell you what," I said, "This one is for you." I handed her a free drink card.

She figured she "had" me at this point and pushed for more free drinks for her friends. "Sorry, can't help you." I said. Old me would have been bending over backwards to hook her and her friends up with drinks, but even though I figured I was destroying any chance I would ever have with her, but new I would be even worse off if I became supplicating and gave her what she wanted. She left disappointed, but then actually came back and started chatting with me later. I was mildly surprised, but made sure not to show it. Then she number closed me.

Her: "Well, I guess we'll chat again later."

Me: "I don't know how, I don't have your number."

Her: "Well, you have a phone, right?"

Me: "Yeah..."

Her: "Well let me give you my number."

My standard wing, who works with me (Red-1) was standing nearby. He has his own methods of getting girls, but he also knew old me, and could not believe how much I'd changed in a couple months. "You got that girl's number?" He asked, incredulous. I confirmed. "How??" You hardly talked to her, I'm so jealous..." I just shrugged.

Move: N/A

Escalation: N/A

Close: N/A

[Interaction Rating]: 3
It was very interesting to watch my behavior after reading GC, and compare it to how I would have reacted before. I would have been bowled right over by [Lisa]'s hotness, and her forward attitude. I would have tried to do everything possible to "get in good" with her, which of course would have been the exact wrong thing to do. Other than that though, this was not a very educational interaction.

 

[AFCnoob]

FR+: Starting Out Part V (2/3)

Summary: Meet a girl at the venue where I work, number close her effortlessly.

[Lisa] Asian American [Rating: objective 8/subjective 7][Age: @22](closed)

Open: pre-existing
I met [Lisa] at the same time that I was in an ongoing interaction with [Kate] ( LR: Starting Out Part IV (1/3)), so I hadn't texted her, but a couple days later, she texted me and invited me out to a venue. I showed up at the venue, but mobile phone service inside is quite poor, and I couldn't contact her. The venue was also rather large, and extremely crowded--I knew I could walk around for hours without finding her, and there was a slightly expensive cover since there was a concert there that night.

I was hesitant to go in, because I knew I'd be kicking myself if things didn't pan out after I paid the cover. I figured "what the hell" though, and paid and went in. People were reacting really strangely toward me for some reason, people were noticing me way more than they ever do, and girls I didn't even know were being unusually "nice". Maybe it was my imagination, I don't know.

I finally managed to find [Lisa], but she was in quite a social mode. I wanted to retain my position of strength, but ended up following her around to the dance floor, doing this and that while she was absorbed trying to get photos of the group performing that night. [Lisa] was again with her two friends, one of them was an at least equally attractive Chinese girl who took one look at me and started grinding with me on the dance floor, throwing me very strong, almost exaggerated IOI's. I was a bit uncomfortable, because I didn't want [Lisa] to go into auto-rejection, so I just tried to be "polite" while her friend danced all over me. I even began to suspect that [Lisa] might have invited me out to hook me up with her friend, since [Lisa] herself wasn't paying me much attention. I didn't want to push for attention, or try to isolate her, since I would come off looking needy, or like I was pursuing her.

Later, we moved off the dance floor to a table, and [Lisa] warmed right up. We were talking and joking, I was sexual framing and chase framing, and [Lisa] was accepting every frame. I got hot and took of my outer shirt. I was wearing a tight tank top underneath that shows off my athletic frame very well. Out of the corner of my eye, I actually noticed [Lisa] make a "hot damn!" face.

The night wound down, and I was still chase framing [Lisa], then she said she had an exam the next day, so had to leave. It turns out they were mid-terms, so she couldn't afford to miss them, and they were early in the morning. I wanted to push for the move and close, but it seemed like it wouldn't be an option.

Escalation: natural
We moved outside of the venue, and one of [Lisa]'s friends peeled off. The other stood a polite distance away while I continued to talk to [Lisa]. We got ready to part ways, and [Lisa] hugged me. "Are you actually hugging me?" I said, knowing she wanted more after all her IOI's and my chase framing. I kissed her, and she was very into it.

Her: "You have incredibly soft lips" she said.

Me: "Uhh, thanks."

Her: "No, seriously, you have the softest lips of anyone I've ever kissed."

Me: "Well thanks, I guess."

Her: "Do you like...take care of your lips?"

Me: [lauging] "Not..really."

Move: N/A
I pushed for [Lisa] to come home anyway, but I honestly couldn't think of any way she could get out of taking her damn midterm exams, so I chalked it up to life intervening, and we decided that she should go home, and we would meet again soon. She just stood there though, and wouldn't leave. "I know I have to go, but my feet just won't move..." she said.

Close: N/A
I honestly believe that if it weren't for her schedule I could have taken [Lisa] home and closed with her right then, but it just didn't happen.

[Interaction Rating]: 5
It was very interesting to experiment with chase framing, and quite instructive to see it work so well. I didn't know it at the time, but going to the venue of [Lisa]'s choice, and hanging out until she was ready to warm up were both bad things, and would come into play in our next interaction.

 

[AFCnoob]

FR+: Starting Out Part V (3/3)

Summary: Meet [Lisa] where she wants, do things on her terms, and I go home alone

[Lisa] Asian American [Rating: objective 8/subjective 7][Age: @22](closed)

Open: pre-existing
[Lisa] wants to meet at a venue near her university, which is a ways away from where I live, but I figure "what the hell". It's just us, so I figure I'll move us out early and move on from there. We're both late getting to the venue, but when [Lisa] arrives, it turns out she has lots of friends all around the venue, and wants to talk to them all. I get the same red flag that I did from the interaction with [Betty], where she was being way too social.

For whatever reason, I was getting a lot of attention in the venue, from [Lisa]'s group of friends, from guys walking up to me to like...shake my hand, from male friends of [Lisa] either giving me compliments or trying to shoot me down. The whole experience just struck me as too damn social. [Lisa] told me more about herself, and frankly came off as immature, a bit spoiled, and quite selfish and self-centered. At first, her "too cool for school" attitude was cute, but then I realized she needed to feel like she was the coolest person in the room, as though it actually mattered to her. A friend of [Lisa]'s commented that I had come "all the way" out to see [Lisa], and that rang in my ears. I had, and there I was, doing what [Lisa] wanted to do: hang out, be social, and be seen--with me.

We went outside the venue to smoke some weed, which I don't mind, [Lisa] called up her friend trying to "score" some harder stuff, which I do mind.

Escalation: "for show"
[Lisa] made some time to dance with me, and she seemed to like standing around holding me or dancing close. I continued with sexual framing and chase framing, then (like an idiot) made out with her a bit at our table.

Move: fail
The night wound down, and our plans to go clubbing dissolved. I suggested [Lisa] come back with me, but she had a million excuses--she'd promised friends she'd go somewhere later, she had to go somewhere the next day, blah blah blah. I made the mistake of letting disappointment show on my face, because she was like "awww, don't look at me like that!" Then I made the second, bigger mistake of appealing to a friend in her circle, who didn't support me.

I saw it clearly then: [Lisa] had already gotten everything she wanted. She was a social butterfly type, just like [Cathy], and just trying to add me to her "collection of friends", or just liked having me around because she felt it added to her status.

Close: N/A

[Interaction Rating]: 6
On reflection, I should have never been doing things on [Lisa]'s terms. Every second I spent hanging around just being there because she was there cemented me more and more as a pursuer, willing to hang out all night just for a chance to be around her. Also, I'd never encountered a girl who just wanted a guy around so she could be seen with him (I've never been that guy). I learned my lesson, and the expensive taxi ride back home provided just the sting to sear it into my brain. Never again.