Stay in touch, or wait and reset?

[KingTurtle]

Picked up a girl at a get together with some friends about a week ago. We went out to the bars, I took her home, but ran into some obstacles I didn’t adjust well as I should have too and I didn’t seal the deal. Still went decently well though, and the next few days we were texting and she definitely seemed in to me still.

100% feel I could have gotten her to come out again, but unfortunately I had to leave town the next day, will be gone for 16 days.

About 4-5 days after we were texting again, and I got a 3 word, semi disinterested response at like 8-9pm and I decided to just give it a break and not text back. It’s has been about 2 days since that happened.

Pondering my next course of action I see 2 paths I could choose from.

1. Text her tonight and ask if she’s free to talk on the phone (I have always been good at phone calls with women, not quite so much texting)

2. Don’t say anything to her for 10-11 days to reset, and ask her out again when I get back (my concern is after that long she may just blow me off)

Any thoughts or ideas are much appreciated
KT

 

[Colt Williams]

KT,

Personally, I'm not a fan of talking to a girl while I'm out of town (or vice versa for that matter). What I usually do is something like:

"Hey Name! I had a really good time the other night -- (insert inside joke or fun date reference here). I've gotta head out of town for the next week and a half (insert excitement about travel or fun work reference like "we've got a conference coming up and my company needed to send the big guns" or whatever is congruent with your personality and the interaction). When I return from my grand adventure, I'd love to get together again."

That's it. If she's down, she will say something like "Haha, (response to inside joke and work thing). Yeah, I'd love to. Let me know when you get back. Enjoy your trip!"

If she's not down, well...she'll say pretty much anything but that. But in the early stages, part of what builds attraction is that bit of space and distance and intrigue. I actually think you leaving could've worked in your favor. But in terms of a phone call, the attraction has to be REALLY high for that to work in my opinion. Women (esp younger ones) are not used to talking on the phone as much these days, esp to love interests. So it could scare her off a little bit even asking unless you have built very strong rapport.

So, if I were you, I wait would wait a few days and then say, "Hey, hope you're having a good week. This trip has been crazy so far, blah blah. Looks like I really gotta buckle down (or will be really busy or whatever) until I get back, but I did want to say (insert ask)."

That's what I would do. Just set the table now. It'll tell you one way or the other

 

[KingTurtle]

Good feedback, I agree not talking at all while away is probably best. Nothing good is going to come of it, you can only screw it up.

Probably just should have left it alone when I left town. I will try to come up with a way to set the table as you say.