Staying on your game, and getting this one in bed(again)

[IrishConrad]

Gentleman,

I just turned 29 and I can tell you I've never felt better. My diet, workouts, job, and overall well being are in a great place. On top of that I am hungry for more every day.

I still have my days though, where I just don't feel it...and I am so much more aware of keeping my fundamentals locked down these days that I really notice when I am not on my game. And sure enough it always seems like I have my best opportunities to meet new women when I am not "feeling" at my best. No witty remarks, no solid eye contact, you get the picture.

Do you guys have any tips for getting out of these mini funks? 90% of the time it is only a matter of me just getting to the gym and getting a good nights sleep.

Are these mini bouts of not being at your best normal? Any tips on pulling though and approaching women when you are in this state would be greatly appreciated.

On another note: 2 months ago I posted on "Keeping your cool when a girl rocks your world" viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2201#p9985

Well this girl and I have stayed in touch and I can tell you, the tables have turned. I went from falling into being softer than baby shit with this one to having her chase me....my tactic? One you will see in this forum and message board time and time again. I stopped caring if I ever saw her again and focused completely on myself and meeting other women. I'm getting fitter, stronger, and feeling better every day. I took a vacation for myself, received a Top 30 under 30 award in my industry, and feel like I am kicking ass.

I have a date with a hot brunette who works in my building on Friday while the girl I was formally chasing just sent me a pic of her ass in some very nice undies if I do say so myself.

Now I've chased this girl before, and now I have her initiating conversation, sending me pics, giving me details on her life I don't ask about etc. Anyway...this girl did rock my world and I would love to get with her again. But this is usually where I fuck up. I lose my cool and start texting with my cock and balls.

I'm a busy guy, and I have roommates, do you guys think it's to risky to propose getting a hotel room with this girl next week? As in asking her what her schedule is and playfully asking for a dirty mid week rendezvous ?

A two part post I know but any advice would be much appreciated.

 

[Hugh]

Hey man,

I know exactly what you mean when you have off days, when your fundamentals just aren't as tight as they usually are. I'm assuming this is normal for most people. It helps me sometime when I just imagine the girl of my dreams and how bad I want her, which helps me get motivated and into a better mind set. I feel like I have my off days like mid work week when my weekend high ends, but yea pretty sure this happens to everyone.

For getting a hotel room, maybe you could take your girl for a night out in the city and crash there, which would be a casual situation to get a hotel room.

Hope this helps

-Hugh

 

[IrishConrad]

Hey man,

For getting a hotel room, maybe you could take your girl for a night out in the city and crash there, which would be a casual situation to get a hotel room.

Hope this helps

-Hugh

Thanks Hugh,

That would be a casual way to do it. I just need to work on getting to that casual point between now and asking her out again. I know I won't date this one but a fun night out and a hotel make my mind wonder off of work.

I'm not very good at making attraction boil over to where they are the ones asking me out. I know I am close with this one, but I may be just as close to pushing her away given my past attempts.

I know it's one girl, but it would feel like I have really put what I've learned here at girlschase.com to work if I turn things around.

In my head it goes like a track (Hold My Liquor) from Kanye Wests's new album.

One more hit and I can own ya
One more fuck and I can own ya

"Kanye compares his desire to fuck his old flame one more time to a drug addict who says, “Just one more hit, and I’m done.” He thinks one more night with her will let him finally get over her.

He believes that if he can just get her into bed with him one more time, then he will have shown his dominance over her and he won’t long for her as much.

Note how he doesn’t mention love or actual affection as his motive for wanting to sleep with her. He just wants to “own her” and go on with his life."

 

[Estate]

I've had a few posts over the past 6 months on this sort of thing... where sometimes I'm "on it"... like, 100%, I can't be stopped, then other times I'm just off... I don't want to approach, if I do, I just don't feel fun or witty or whatever....

Here's a big thing that's helped me get over it recently... JUST ACCEPT IT.

I know that sounds lame, right? But let me finish...
Firstly... read Chase's article on depression... look, I've never had any sort of deep rooted depression BUT after reading this article it all made sense. If I have a bad day, just accept it's a bad day, let yourself an hour or whatever to get it out of your system and then follow Chase's advice to get those bad thoughts out of your head. It's helped a lot for me.

Next, I just began to spot trends as to when and why I felt good or bad. I always seemed to feel my worst on Sundays or Mondays. Maybe if I had a good weekend I'd be a little hungover and that leads to poor moods. There's always the "monday blues" and while I exercise a lot during the week, I take my weekends off... so I began to realise this was my worst time and why.

I also noticed that by mid-week I'd be looking forward to the weekend, chatting and making plans with friends again and I'd be out exercising a lot. My moods began to jump back up.

So from that you begin to understand your patterns... I know that if I have a "big" night out Fri & Sat, that I will prob feel sluggish and slow on Sunday... so either enjoy my time out and accept Sunday I will need rest... or change my pattern and not go at it heavy the other nights and make plans to be active Sunday to keep my mood good.

Either way, it helps to spot your patterns and adjust as such, while also using it to just accept that you can't be 100% every minute of every day. If you begin to accept it in the moment and then know how to turn it around again, it won't make you feel down over a longer period.