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FR  Sticking Point...BALLS

Gentle_Phrases

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
292
This one's fresh off the presses mates. Happened literally two hours ago, so I decide to draft it for you while I still remember the dialogue very clearly. It's quite short, yet seems lengthier due to spacing.

In lunch line I spy this 5'2" dark haired cutie-pie with my little eye. Dressed to the nines with locks down to be waist. As she orders her food, the guy taking it suddenly snaps at her, then turns away. I mozey up to her using the situational gold mine and proceed with the best "game" I've yet to display so far. So smooth. So natural, even though I had a nagging feeling during the encounter. Too bad I screw it up. Let the magic ensue

*Walt Disney rolls the film*

Me: *slowly saunter to her side, lock in on the counter, nudge her on the shoulder and lean-in in a calibrated way to whisper, while looking mysteriously ahead, just as Chase commands us - can tell it was successful by the way she immediately reciprocates and leans towards me to hear, shoulders almost touching*

Me: "Hey, looks like somebody's having a rough day.."

Her: "Yeah, I don't know what I did. But I bet I'd be having a rough day too if I was working here."

Me: "Oh, don't play coy. I know you must have caused him some trouble." *I slowly turn to stare into her soul, as I connect, I look into the eyes of a woman who's already positively beaming. Huge smile, lads. Huge smile.*

Her: *while still smiling* "Yeah" *more smiling, looks down, turns so that full body faces me*

Her: "I'm [Censored] by the way" *extends her hand* (whispering ceased)

Me: "Wow, that's great. Guess what my name is." *take and shake, it's firm and warm but doesn't last longer than 3 seconds*

Her: *HUGE SMILE* "It's [Censored] isn't it??"

Me: "Yep, this makes it great"

Her: "Yeah, so easy to remember" *nods*

Me: "You're all dressed to the nines (I look into her eyes as I say it, while moving my extended palm up and down for emphasis). My guess is you're going out to cause more trouble tonight." *Cue cheeky grin*

Her: "No, I'm not." (looks of the side) "I mean I always try to look nice" (looks to the side) *proceeds to do a weird thing where she grabs the ends of her jacket, rotates slowly like a sprinkler from side to side - imagine what a little girl in a dress does when she's bored and standing in line*

Me: "I see" (I say this all the time..maybe because I'm an INFP) *I turn to look ahead stoically and let the conversation drop...I count to six, then re-open. Chase mentioned something about doing this once - I think in an indirect, direct article - makes it seem like you are actively choosing to continue conversation*

Me: "Those are very intersting earrings - I've never seen that before" (she has gauges that are filled with something, dunno what"

Her: *Her face is beaming now* "Really, everyone says that!" *smile* "I've had them since sophomore year"

Me: "Sophomore!?" *feigned shock* "No way, you can't be serious" *cue cheeky smile*

Her: "No, no, high school hahaha" *smile* "I'm a freshman"

Me: "Oh okay. I was about to say...good Lord. Slow down!"

Her: *smile*

Me: "Hmm, okay, you strike me as either Psychology or English"

Her: "Really?...I do kind of give off that artsy vibe. I'm actually architecture." NOTE- "artsy vibe" will now become one of my openers. Thanks [censored]

Me: "Oh, that's very interesting..hm and can you guess what I'm doing?" FLAG - first mistake here, why didn't I go on and ask what drove her into architecture??? Why turn the light back to me??? Huh??? Why didn't I deep dive! Because I thought, oh my goodness... this much dialogue and she hasn't asked me a single personal question (she actually had asked one). I got in my head here.

Her: *smile* "Hm..well most [censored]'s are engineering."

Me: *Betraying genuine suprise* "Really? That's far off." *Said with a smokey smile and in a teasing way*

Her: *laughter* "Oh, what is it?"

Me: "I'm doing business" FLAG - should have made her work for it. Gave it up too easy ;)

Her: "Oh really, I would have never guessed that" *shaking head*

Kitchen guy: "For here or to go"

Me: *Looking ahead* "To go"

*brief pause as he rustles with food and hands me box*

Me: "Nice meeting you [censored]" *I turn and walk away without looking back *

Her: *out my peripheral, I see her turn towards me quickly, then turn back* "Bye!"

Me: *surpress an urge to turn back and say, 'hey, have dinner with me.' Instead I walk away*

Sticking point

F.Y.I. , this is the third time I've done this in this very same lunch line. At first, I would never initiate conversation. Now I initiate but don't carry through unless I'm ABSOLUTELY certain of interest. Which is stupid. I'll never be absolutely certain. Chase mentions getting surprised all the time. That's my sticking point. ;/
Something in this interaction that I didn't mention was that punctuating all those smiles were times when she would display a very profound "microexpressions" of contempt. In hindsight, I believe this may have been her default expression when thinking about something she wanted to say (Chase mentions that girls might make funny faces when they're about to open you). Given my training though, mid-set I kept thinking, "maybe she's just enjoying my attention and really isn't enamored. Contempt could be as sense of superiority because I don't realize she's feigning interst."

The women I'd opened before this unsettled me by their lack of total investment in the conversation, yet quizzically remaining friendly during the engagement. Think Chase when he wrote about being opened in a bar by a rather chubby lady and maintaining minimum investment in conversation while occasionally smiling. In all three scenarios I've ultimately auto-rejected myself because I didn't sense explicit buying signals. WHICH IS STUPID I KNOW. The feminine imperative is to show both hot and cold and I don't have the experience to tell what's what yet. Derp.

Future Objectives

No more field reports until (1) instant date, or (2) rejection/I test the waters successfully in another, similar situation
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,897
Dude Gentle_Phrases, you did a good job here but it was so cringing to read this and not read about you proposing a date. How long have you been actively trying to improve with women btw? Reason I ask is because your conversation here seems to be pretty smooth for the most part, although I agree with
Me: "Oh, that's very interesting..hm and can you guess what I'm doing?" FLAG - first mistake here, why didn't I go on and ask what drove her into architecture??? Why turn the light back to me??? Huh??? Why didn't I deep dive! Because I thought, oh my goodness... this much dialogue and she hasn't asked me a single personal question (she actually had asked one). I got in my head here.
. You definitely should have deep dived/challenged her answer and qualified it.
You: "So your going to get out of school and start designing and building the tallest skyskrapers in New York I see."
No worries you'll remember this stuff after time. I still have the same problems and analyze interaction after I have one and think about all the places I should have taken the conversation, but that's how you prepare better for next time.

I think you could have easily proposed a date here it sounds like she was into you from the start. You need to get into the habit of proposing a date with every girl you talk to so it will become natural and you won't over think everything. For some reason I always did this. I remember the first daygame cold approach ever did, I got into conversation with this girl and it was going to shit. I couldn't think of anything to talk about and basically had a bad case of performance anxiety. It was awkward and I wanted to eject badly, we were literally in awkward silence while my mind raced to find something to talk about. Since I couldn't think of anything to talk about I figured what the hell I'm already here I might as well not be a pussy and move fast like Chase always talks about. I was about 99% sure I would get rejected but I proposed a date anyway and to my utter surprise she said yes! I got her contact information and left feeling like a warrior.

What I want you to get out of my story is that you (by you I mean everybody on earth) put mental limits on what you perceive to be achievable and it goes to show you that its all bullshit. The stars in the sky really is the limit but most of us tell ourselves its only possible to get to the tree tops. These mental blocks keep us from achieving the perceived unachievable and only those that say "fuck limits I'm going to set my own limits" that really do phenomenal things in life. So the homework that I'm assigning you and me (I do this too) is to make a habit of breaking past these barriers. For you I would suggest doing this by proposing a date with every girl you approach. Honestly I don't see what your scared of you have the balls to do the approach in the first place it almost seems weird for you not to propose a date. By doing this you'll learn a lot about yourself, your brains bullshit limits, and rejection (rejection is awesome btw it makes you stronger). Report back how it goes dude.

Cheers,
Rob
 

Verisimilitude

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
461
I agree with Mr. Rob. You should have asked her on a date. Don't feel bad, this is a mistake a lot of beginners make. Read this article, I think it can help you a ton.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/react ... ults-women

You seem to be overthinknig things. A ton. I do this too, and I suspect a lot of smart people do. You overthink and psych yourself out (example A is in this FR here)

When in doubt, go for it!
 

Gentle_Phrases

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
292
Rob,

Thank you for the reply and your helpful feedback, my man.

. You need to get into the habit of proposing a date with every girl you talk to so it will become natural and you won't over think everything...So the homework that I'm assigning you and me (I do this too) is to make a habit of breaking past these barriers. For you I would suggest doing this by proposing a date with every girl you approach

Dude, you are sooo right. Thank you for sharing your story. Breaking those limiting beliefs...THAT is my new objective. In fact, I'm gonna take what you said a step further. With every girl I open I'll suggest a date, then regardless of their "yes" or "no", I'll say "screw it. Lets grab some plane tickets bay-bay! Bahamas, maybe? Or Cancun? Btw, you're buying" *cue wolfish grin*

Thinking more, for other guys reading this, part of what's perpetuated this is poor planning. I dont have a firm date process like Chase suggests, so that's to be hammered out TONIGHT.

As for your question about how long I've been in the game, I'd been a desk jockey reading Chase's book and not acting for what felt like an eternity, first club experience in July (age limit was younger over there) and first street cold approach two weeks ago. What's your story?

Also xcrunner, from that article
What happens when you don’t pay attention to your intuition is that you make mistakes and things go awry

Respect man. 'nough said.

You can expect a report by Tuesday.

G.
 

Verisimilitude

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
461
With every girl I open I'll suggest a date, then regardless of their "yes" or "no", I'll say "screw it. Lets grab some plane tickets bay-bay! Bahamas, maybe? Or Cancun? Btw, you're buying" *cue wolfish grin*

Within reason, of course. Don't want to be creepy. If she flat out blows you out, don't go forward. Know when to stop too.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,897
Right on G_P always glad to be of service. Sounds like you have the right idea on your attitude, sounds like you realized that you just need to take more action. Based on your conversation thread it sounded like you had been honing your skills for a while, which was why I asked, because your interaction was pretty smooth for a beginner. But if you say your just getting started you might be a natural that just needs some experience before you actually realize your a "natural". I don't know for sure yet but I think thats my deal. The thing about becoming/realizing your a natural is that you have to trounce your A.A. first (unless your Zphix, that dude was a natural on his first FR and he had A.A., btw if you want to read some good threads for how to run a conversation check out his old FR's if you haven't already). Once you trounce your A.A. it starts to get a lot easier.

As for me, I started approaching around christmas last year so it's been a good 10 months. I was basically tired of masturbating and acting like a vagina around women, being all depressed and shit. I knew I had to change my life. Soon after found GC, and was inspired after reading Chases story about how he was a social reject that decided to start approaching 20+ girls a night in order to learn how to get good with women. I was like fuck if he can do so can I, so I just started making myself take action on a regular basis and made sure I didn't give up. I honestly never thought that pickup was really a possible option, it just never struck my mind. Especially daygame I was like wtf this is real. You can't go talk to a stranger and get her to want to suck your cock afterwards that would be called magic. Sure enough theres a bunch of magicians out there ;).

But yeah all and all dude now that you've started your not allowed to stop you must persist without exception. My orders ;) So keep taking action like you did in this FR and keep posting back what your doing. Your life will magically change before your eyes.

Rob
 
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