- Joined
- Dec 13, 2017
- Messages
- 17
I had to take a break from pick up work for a while (except for some light dipping here and there). I did do a very positive approach at Trader Joes then met her. Logistics were not good as I had renovations going on at home, but I also did not want to let the number go cold and she was being responsive. So we found a time during a very busy week, and there was some confusion about a whether a coffee shop was open. Thus, we had to find another venue, and having lost my drivers license I did not want to go to a bar. I suggested a walk, but it seemed she wanted to get food and though I hate those as first dates, I caved.
I thought the date when fairly well, though not much laughter or emotional high points, and the kino only started on the walk by the river after dinner. She seemed happy to interact and be there, but I also noticed a lack of chemistry that I did not know how to fill, except for the occasional touch on the back when it felt appropriate (getting comfortable doing this automatically and hopefully it comes across as not creepy, though sometimes it is slightly more awkward if she was farther away and I did not judge that distance correctly). We stopped to look at something across the river at one point and I felt it would be a good time to stand together and for more kino, but she organically moved further apart from me and I almost got the sense she was trying to keep the distance, though that could be in my mind. I even held her hand, which she was ok with, but later broke away explaining that it was getting sweaty (it was). That said, being with her felt nostalgic of my friends from my high school days, so I was really enjoying the evening, success aside.
All this (plus her claiming work at 6 a.m.) discouraged me from trying to take things farther. I would have also had to have gotten an invitation from her since my place was out, and I did not feel I could pull a kiss.
When I asked if she wanted to hang two days later late the next day (while joking about something we had talked about) she sent me this:
".... I'm still feeling things out and I am not sure if I had a strong connection that I thought I would, I hope you understand"
Any thoughts? I think she would have girlfriend potential if I could develop the chemistry.
So something that I have been working on is my intuition and feel for how comfortable a woman is to move forward. I feel like I am getting the hang of this, and feel I can sometimes "tell" when a girl is ready to be kissed, etc. Not sure how objectively good I am at this though. A few weeks ago I had been on another date, and the chemistry was in contrast very strong there (we are still talking but she left for a 3 week trip after meeting). She was not comfortable holding hands and when I hugged her goodbye, she seemed too reserved to kiss, but during the walk she seemed to want to walk and sit close/touching me.
I thought the date when fairly well, though not much laughter or emotional high points, and the kino only started on the walk by the river after dinner. She seemed happy to interact and be there, but I also noticed a lack of chemistry that I did not know how to fill, except for the occasional touch on the back when it felt appropriate (getting comfortable doing this automatically and hopefully it comes across as not creepy, though sometimes it is slightly more awkward if she was farther away and I did not judge that distance correctly). We stopped to look at something across the river at one point and I felt it would be a good time to stand together and for more kino, but she organically moved further apart from me and I almost got the sense she was trying to keep the distance, though that could be in my mind. I even held her hand, which she was ok with, but later broke away explaining that it was getting sweaty (it was). That said, being with her felt nostalgic of my friends from my high school days, so I was really enjoying the evening, success aside.
All this (plus her claiming work at 6 a.m.) discouraged me from trying to take things farther. I would have also had to have gotten an invitation from her since my place was out, and I did not feel I could pull a kiss.
When I asked if she wanted to hang two days later late the next day (while joking about something we had talked about) she sent me this:
".... I'm still feeling things out and I am not sure if I had a strong connection that I thought I would, I hope you understand"
Any thoughts? I think she would have girlfriend potential if I could develop the chemistry.
So something that I have been working on is my intuition and feel for how comfortable a woman is to move forward. I feel like I am getting the hang of this, and feel I can sometimes "tell" when a girl is ready to be kissed, etc. Not sure how objectively good I am at this though. A few weeks ago I had been on another date, and the chemistry was in contrast very strong there (we are still talking but she left for a 3 week trip after meeting). She was not comfortable holding hands and when I hugged her goodbye, she seemed too reserved to kiss, but during the walk she seemed to want to walk and sit close/touching me.
