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FR  Still stuck on that plateau :(

TomGray

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2013
Messages
136
So, I have been struggling for the past couple of weeks. I haven’t been able to approach very many girls and could only approach one today.I didn’t feel very cool but oh, well, here’s the interaction:

M: Hi, I saw you sitting here and I had to come and tell you how cute you are.
H: Oh, thanks (a little put off).
M: I’m TG.
H: I’m Sierra.
M: What are you up to?
H: Just studying. Trying to escape finals.
M: You can’t escape. *laugh* Mind if I sit down?
H: Sure.
M: What finals are they?
H: Art and Architecture.
M: Are you an architecture major?
H: Yeah, but my teacher failed me for my art class so I’m going to be taking a year off.
M: That’s always rough when that happens (some good relating from me!) Can you appeal to the higher ups?
H: Yes, but that would involve changing the rules which I am trying to do but I don’t think it will work out.
M: Well, what would you like to do someday with architecture?
H: I would like to teach.
M: I’ve been thinking about being a teacher myself (some bad relating from me ) what draws you to it?
H: Well, I love little kids but…you can’t really teach them architecture.
M: You want to teach architecture but you’d rather work with kids?
H: Yeah. But there’s not a way to make much money off of that.
M: No, see what you would do is call your school “elite” and charge ten thousand dollars per student.
Some stuff.
H: Yes, are you in the Fine Arts department?
M: Yeah. I’m a BA.
H: …Like a BFA?
M: No, they demoted me. *then some blubbering instead of just staying stoic and building intrigue*
H: Have you been drawing and painting your whole life?
M: I never did art before I got into an art college. I do film.
H: Sweet. I have a friend in Florida who does that. She’s younger than me so I’m jealous.
Some stuff.
M: I like talking to you (bad qualifier and makes things less smooth).
Some stuff.
H: I’m going home soon.
M: When?
H: After this winter session.
M: Well, you’ve still got some time. How about we meet up again?
H: I don’t think that my boyfriend would like that.
M: Well, that’s cool. It was nice to meet you.
H: Nice to meet you too. Stay warm.

After this interaction, I felt so bad that I couldn’t approach anyone else even though she had been sweet and not treated me like a creep, I was disappointed in myself in how I had acted.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

fsc_old

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 19, 2013
Messages
68
Two cents from a fellow newbie:

I'm guessing she was initially put off because your fundamentals haven't reached its full potential yet, and she honestly may have been taken and in love. This is also a problem for me because I naturally have a mean/serious-looking face, and the adrenaline prevents me from consciously putting on sexy eye contact and smile--especially on my first approach of the day. Try working on your vibe. When I walk around, even when I'm not in approaching, I try to put on sexy eyes and smile so that I become more accustomed to it.

Although your opener indicated interest, I feel like you should have been more direct and asked if she was single as soon as possible. This way you don't waste your time, waste mental energy in trying to create conversation, and she knows exactly what you're about. Thankfully she was sweet and polite, but she could have been thinking "why is this guy talking to me?" or even worse, "this guy is a social burden". There is a chance that she may have been thinking the latter because she was studying for her finals. So I think a more optimal interaction would have been to build some connection so she's more likely to go out with you, end the banter early, ask when her finals were over, propose a date after finals to relieve her stress, attempt a number close, and bounce out.

Every approach, whether it ended in an epic rejection or a reverse gangbang, is a learning experience. When you're on the field, try to have fun and think positively. Instead of feeling bad about the approach not working out, be like "wow, I can't believe I did all that and she turned out to be taken, lol. Oh well, at least I chatted with a cute girl today. Better focus on my fundamentals and ask if single ASAP on the next girl" Save the seriousness and whatnot for later on when you're reflecting and analyzing. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Most guys would have never approached her. Be proud that you're one of the few who are taking action.

I wish you luck. Take care.
 
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