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Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,490
As usual, I number-closed a girl who seemed ideally suited for a fling, then never heard back from her and was left wondering where I fucked up. If I could fix this one error, I'm sure I'd up my game immeasurably. Here's the story...

As described previously, "there is a network of long pedestrianized trails in our city that were conceived as a redevelopment effort to replace disused railroad lines and provide opportunities for outdoor recreation". On a warm, sunny Saturday evening I am walking down this footpath when I turn my head out of curiosity, and notice a girl in barely-there exercise shorts and dark sunglasses catching up with me, "power-walking" as far as I can make out. I keep going.

I turn my head again ten seconds later and she's getting closer, also she appears to acknowledge me somewhat. Suppressing a smirk, I make sure I'm drawn up to my full height, feet pointing straight ahead, shoulders back, chest puffed out, arms swinging in my best gunslinger manner as I learned in my first forays into this site.

She draws level and without even slightly turning my head, I eye her closely moving my eyes only. I could swear she's doing the same, but even more subtly, using peripherals. She's got good legs, but at this point I'm a little bit "meh" about her face (foolishly), not having seen what's behind the sunglasses.

As she pulls ahead I notice a unique decoration on her thigh... a flock of birds inked around the area where the garter of a hose would be. The shorts are short enough that it's clearly visible beyond the hemline. I don't go in for tattoos, but if it's meant to be sexy, it is. I'm guessing it's temporary.

Half a minute after she passes me, she moves off to the right; we are on a bridge and she leans on the railing and looks out at the city beyond. Except that... people don't usually take a break when they're power-walking, and the view isn't much to write home about, frankly: an eight-lane highway with a few skyscrapers dotted on the horizon.

I don't know whether it's an approach invitation, but I'm damned if I'm gonna take it any other way!

I pull off the pathway and lean against the railing next to her, elbows out, imitating her pose. We turn and look at each other. She removes her sunglasses and flashes her teeth in a brilliant smile... oh boy, I underestimated her face very badly :) Gosh, it feels good to look at a face like that.

  • StockingTop: Hey!

    Marty: Hey!
Keeping your openers simple is the key to a flawless interaction, fellas ;)


  • Marty: Not much of a view. Are you here for exercise, or for... pleasure? :)

    StockingTop: Yes.
Smartass, huh? Good. I like those! Not quite as much as ice-queen bitches, but it's the next best thing, I guess... We exchange names and agree that we will walk on together. As we move off, I realize I might not have been quite clear about what I want. Having seen those birds around her upper thigh, I'm determined not to leave this chick in any doubt.


  • Marty: I like your freckles, StockingTop. Make you look really cute :)
I just love the effect this has on her. A smile crinkles around the outside edges of her eyes; her tongue-tip comes forward between her teeth and a delightful look of realization suffuses her face: "Oh! He likes me as a girl!!" Yeah, babe, you got it. I'm hitting on you. Isn't that nice? ;)

More than satisfied that I've put the right idea into her head, I walk on with her in cheerful conversation. The balance is different than with a lot of girls... she invests fully, picking up a lot of threads and asking me a lot of questions: I have to work hard to keep the spotlight on her. When she starts telling me about her work, she mentions that she has done research on sexually-transmitted diseases in various parts of the world, especially the behavioral drivers. Interested, I ask for more detail and she tells me that her university's findings are that most often, wives inadvertently bring these illnesses into the family, contrary to popular perceptions of "cheating men".

I tell her that you might expect that if you know something about these things, and nudge her hard. We chuckle. The touch barrier is broken and she brought up the subject of sex herself.

She will probably move overseas again in search of employment soon; I tell her that I plan to do similarly, and am already in the interview process. Scarcity :)

We walk for about 20 minutes. Later in the conversation she tells me a joke about two people having sex in a boat. Also makes some snide remarks on people's sexuality in certain neighborhoods of town. This girl is a lot of fun on the subject of sex when she wants to be :)

She takes me farther than I have ever ventured along the path, and tells me that we have arrived at the place where it peters out; later construction will extend it, apparently.

  • Marty: So—do we turn back here?

    StockingTop: You can turn back if you wish. I have to get showered and get ready for the arrangements I have lined up for the evening.

    Marty: Ah, so you live here. Okay, why don't we grab lunch some time soon? (Seeing ambiguity cross her face briefly) Or... just coffee?

    StockingTop: (Noncommittally) I have a guy. (Brightening) Yeah, coffee would be fine.

    Marty: (Handing her my phone) You know, you're leaving the country soon by the sounds of it, I probably am too; I'm not too worried about your "guy", quite frankly.

    StockingTop: (Keying in her number) Yeah, I'm not too worried about him either. (Sharp intake of breath, realizing what she just said) I know that sounds terrible...

    Marty: (Taking back my phone) No no, I think you and I have the same perspective on these things. (Kissing her on the cheek) Enjoy whatever it is you're doing this evening. See ya!
I'm not sure whether she realized this, but with those words she just sent my attraction for her through the roof. A girl who couldn't care a damn about her guy and just uses him... doesn't need him or rely on him... I love that type. One of my favorites.

Sunday morning at around 10 AM I shoot off a text message to her, as follows:

  • It was fun chatting with you yesterday, StockingTop :) I hope you had a nice evening; enjoy the rest of your weekend! - Marty
Why oh why has she not replied to this?? Anyone have any idea where I slipped up? I keep losing girls this way.
 

luego

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
126
Looked to me like it went well. And I liked the close - it seemed strong.

Then I saw the cheek kiss, and I questioned whether that was the right approach. Perhaps better to just have something simple like take the hand/arm, hold a long look in the eyes, slight devilish smile, and "well enjoy your evening. I'll call you and we'll grab that coffee"?

So I wasn't sure if I was alone on the thought, and searched the site re cheek kisses, and see you and Franco already had a convo on that: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=4914&p=23244&hilit=+cheek+kiss+#p23244

Regardless, before the close why didn't you follow up the line with something to at least quasi-firm details? "[smile] good, sounds like a plan then. Evenings work best for you?"
 

Gentle_Phrases

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
292
Why oh why has she not replied to this?? Anyone have any idea where I slipped up? I keep losing girls this way.

It doesn't sound to me like you ever slipped up, Marty, assuming that you wrote everything worth sharing. The way you wrote it leads me to believe that she just decided to honor her boyfriend that she doesn't even care about. As some gurus say, a guy who's a 7 from cold approach can still lose out to one who's a 5 or 6 in social circle. Such is the nature of the game.

It may be worth shooting her a low effort text tomorrow, just to see if she responds
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,490
Thanks friends :)

luego said:
And I liked the close - it seemed strong.
Thank you! I was fairly proud of that too, kept it flowing right through to the finish. No awkwardness.

luego said:
I wasn't sure if I was alone on the thought, and searched the site re cheek kisses, and see you and Franco already had a convo on that:
Honestly, Luego, I don't presume to have a convo with anyone, least of all Franco; I was just copying what Chase said to do. Basically my tendency is to end all successful interactions with a cheek-kiss, if it feels like the right thing to do. Sometimes if the girl's real nice to me but regrets that she has a boyfriend, I'll grab her and kiss her anyway to express my appreciation for her kind reception. But generally, it's no number no kiss :)

As far as kino is concerned in general, there's a little debate taking place over on another thread I started. The consensus among the "leadership" seems to be that you should touch as much as is congruent with your personality. Well, I believe that my character is very attentive and protective, and an arm around the shoulder, or a kiss on the cheek, is wholly congruent with that. Plus I haven't lost my accent since arriving in the USA and so I give off this whole European vibe, with which kissing is very much expected by the girl. I honestly don't think it's perceived as overly aggressive or invasive.

Gentle_Phrases said:
It may be worth shooting her a low effort text tomorrow, just to see if she responds
Thanks GP. Per your suggestion, I texted her at 11 AM today. No, she didn't get back to me. I guess life just got in the way. That happens sometimes, even with pretty girls :(
 

Eternity

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
606
Agreed. Text back something like this next time with a girl over the phone:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/ellipsis-game-applied/

or...
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/every-ch-text-game-tactic-used-on-one-girl-at-once/

and...http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/more-ellipsis-game/

Read Chateau Heartiste articles on game, Alpha, ect. His advice on some of these issues rival Chase's wisdom. Spot on and great insight into a woman's psyche, not all is great content but the parts on game ect are.
 

luego

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
126
Marty said:
Honestly, Luego, I don't presume to have a convo with anyone, least of all Franco; I was just copying what Chase said to do. Basically my tendency is to end all successful interactions with a cheek-kiss, if it feels like the right thing to do. Sometimes if the girl's real nice to me but regrets that she has a boyfriend, I'll grab her and kiss her anyway to express my appreciation for her kind reception. But generally, it's no number no kiss :)

As far as kino is concerned in general, there's a little debate taking place over on another thread I started. The consensus among the "leadership" seems to be that you should touch as much as is congruent with your personality. Well, I believe that my character is very attentive and protective, and an arm around the shoulder, or a kiss on the cheek, is wholly congruent with that. Plus I haven't lost my accent since arriving in the USA and so I give off this whole European vibe, with which kissing is very much expected by the girl. I honestly don't think it's perceived as overly aggressive or invasive.
Marty;

I think the disconnect is that chase talks about a cheek kiss as an OPENER - very European, may or may not come across as too forward, or whatever. What my concern is that you're ENDING w/ the cheek. I am actually wondering if it's the exact opposite. The guy who just told her "I don't care if you have a boyfriend, let's go make a memory" isn't going to lean in for a cheek kiss. He's going to either give her a real kiss or, more likely, keep up the cocky/devil-may-care type attitude and move towards the date. The cheek kiss TAKES AWAY from what you've been building.

As for the other thread, I dont' see much of the focus there on kino - more on the verbals and the fundamentals. Your ending line there is the strongest I've seen you reference in any of your FRs. It's fully congruent with a lot of the "so, you're always up for trying new things, eh [wink]?" type game I read people as pushing you towards.
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,490
Eternity:

Eternity said:
Read Chateau Heartiste articles on game, Alpha, etc. His advice on some of these issues rivals Chase's wisdom. Spot-on and great insight into a woman's psyche
Perused it, good stuff. I'll be coming back :)

I think one essential difference is that Chase can explain it like no other. By his own account, if I understood it correctly, Chase grew up a very socially perceptive and intelligent, but not particularly dominant boy; and he relied on his remarkable powers of social observation to construct a radical mental model and transform himself into an unstoppable force as he matured. Therefore, he knows the path he took very well, and he recognizes the obstacles on it that others encounter, and is able to help them clamber over.

In contrast, judging by his "nasty" tone, Monsieur Heartiste seems to be what they call a "natural". We had one of those here on the forum not so long ago and his arrogant and dismissive conduct got the attention of the moderators, ensuring his post-haste expulsion. I wonder if it is a common correlation... comments on that thread suggested it might be. In any case, mode of expression aside, what your blogger says is right and works as demonstrated by countless examples. So yes, I take it very seriously indeed.

But if I'd stumbled upon his site before doing extensive fieldwork and reading up on the theory here, I'd have been at a loss. He makes certain assumptions that are presumably self-evident for "naturals" as well as accomplished seducers, but would turn a novice's world upside-down by the sheer level of cognitive dissonance.

-Marty
 

Eternity

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
606
Agreed. I would not recommended it if you were not already versed in seduction as this caters more towards intermediate to advanced. What I post is usually geared more towards people who already understand the core basics AKA fundamentals. My style is a combination of Aloof/asshole/cocky & funny thus his wisdom is very relatable for me to know and understand. Thus, I hope it serves you well in the future.
 
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