Stoicism - An Effective Attraction Strategy?

[Garrett]

Hey guys, Garrett here.

Even before getting involved in this community, I always recognized the fact that the guys who were the 'bad boys' and the guys who didn't show much interest/emotions/care often were the ones who had girls hitting up their facebooks/twitters, and you'd see these guys with girls all the time. I eventually decided that I wanted to be like this, and part of my change involved changing the type of people who I spend my time with. I enjoy spending my time alone these days, but that's not the subject of this post. Today I wanted to get some insight on the idea of stoicism.

When I tried becoming more like the 'bad boys' I had to do a lot of acting. It was a lot of emotional strain to change who I am, and eventually I become stoic. I felt like I couldn't develop a connection with people anymore, so I toned it down a little. Currently, I'd say I'm fairly stoic, but with a hint of emotion to keep myself thinking straight and making the right decisions when necessary.

Anyways, I came across this video, I hope it doesn't violate the copyright rules on this site, but it's an audition from the British version of X-factor. I enjoy watching a lot of these videos, and so I came across one of a young guy who reminded me a lot of myself; similar look except I currently sport a goatee, arrogance, chilled vibe, etc. I also noticed he has something about him, and even the judge, Cheryl Cole, commented on his charm. Have a look for yourself. If the link doesn't work, type in on youtube, 'Nicolo Festa X-Factor Audition' and you can view the video for yourself. I'll post a link here though anyway,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYremmTFZVs

Watch the video first, then keep reading...

So you'll notice that he acts as if the audition is no big deal, and even goes on to say that he deserved more applause. Arrogant, but clearly attractive. So what I'd like to know is, does stoicism work the same way? If you don't feel a surge of emotional connection with a girl, does that mean she isn't feeling it either? Can you just be sexy without feeling much emotion and get girls to feel connected to you via deep diving? Or do you have to feel more emotion in order to solidify a strong connection in order to get her to comply to you?

In other words, how does stoicism work in attracting girls, and is it an effective strategy?

Thoughts or advice would be appreciated,
Garrett

 

[girlsfollow]

You do realise that he seems pretty gay right, almost feminine (diva) - I think any more and it would be offputting for many girls.

But I know what you are talking about - and as you said Cole was clearly drawn to it more than if he had been some excited boy.

I think the un-reactivity is certainly part of it - always being unaffected by outside influences is a sign of emotional strength maybe.

I think its the Italianess (I usually imagine someone from Hawaii like Jack johnson who I lean towards being more like, but its similar to Italians) - they are slow and deliberate and calm, NOTHING is a big deal - but this mixed with some real infectious passion - which everyone loves

JJ:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wyaREa0qqk

 

[Chase]

Garrett-

Another note:

So you'll notice that he acts as if the audition is no big deal, and even goes on to say that he deserved more applause. Arrogant, but clearly attractive. So what I'd like to know is, does stoicism work the same way? If you don't feel a surge of emotional connection with a girl, does that mean she isn't feeling it either? Can you just be sexy without feeling much emotion and get girls to feel connected to you via deep diving? Or do you have to feel more emotion in order to solidify a strong connection in order to get her to comply to you?

Arrogance has been proven in a variety of research studies to be an attractive quality to women. Not confidence (which is also attractive), but arrogance, outright. Everybody tells you not to be arrogant, but women find arrogant men more attractive than un-arrogant men (of course, there's an attainability upper-limit with arrogance that you need to modulate with humbleness... the amount you show of each quality you just calibrate to the girl.

With emotions, generally speaking, the less emotion you display toward a girl while still managing to interest and attract her, the stronger the emotions she will feel for you. Again, there's an attainability threshold; some girls will auto-reject if you show too little emotion. And every girl will lose interest if you show too much emotion. You essentially want to find the point where you can display as little emotion as possible while still holding her interest... if, that is, you want maximum interest and attraction out of her.

Chase

 

[Flames]

With arrogance I'll like to add just enough humor (mainly intonation-wise) to make them wonder if I'm serious or not.

But I agree most women and even some men prefer arrogance to being weak willed and too agreeable.