LR Stopping in the middle of sex due to period

[ChrisXKiss]

Yes it's red and no it's not for the blood, it's for the lay.

Approach and texting

Met the girl at the tram station close to my place. I was walking at night, and usually what I do is I just walk through the station just to check if there is any cute girl waiting. That's what happened that night one week ago as well. I saw the girl standing there, I stopped and gave her a compliment like looking lovely. She was a bit surprised, couldn't believe it was real, but I told her no I really saw her while walking and I felt I wanted to talk to her. She said she was Spanish, working as a veterinarian. I could see in her eyes that she was attracted, so I asked what she was up to that night, to check if some kind of instant pull could be possible. She told me she was going to a friend's place, so I decided to exchange numbers.

I sent her an icebreaker a bit later that night, she answered early in the next morning. Then I sent a scheduler text proposing a meeting, she was free on Wednesday, I had another date planned then, so eventually we agreed to meet today in the evening. All this happened on Monday and after that we had no communication.

Today at some point during lunch time she sent me a text saying: "Hi! I hope you had a good week. Looking forward for tonight ". She probably reads the tactics to reduce flakes from girls chase. I told her my week was sweet, hope hers as well, and I am also looking forwards

A bit later I sent another text regarding where to meet exactly and we found each other, with me being 3-4 minutes late as usual. In general this happens because I live close and leave last minute, today I also wanted to look around a bit before the date for any potential spots I could bounce after the first bar. Didn't find anything new that would be very promising though. Oh I also did an approach on my way, could do some more, but I wasn't sure exactly where she was waiting and if she would see them.

Start of Date

Anyway we met as she was coming up to the train platform from the underground. She looked kinda better than I remembered. I mean her face is not bad, she does have few moles on the face, but I found her body particularly nice in her summery dress that was showing off her curves, and had a pretty deep cut on one side showing off the leg.

The open air bar, same from the previous reports, is pretty close to the station so we didn't have time to say much. She asked me how was my day, I told her I had an interview on Friday and it was very hectic so I took the Saturday easy to relax a bit. I asked her back what she did and she said she went to the lake to enjoy the weather with her friends.

She asked if my interview went well, I said that I feel so, although you never know how it goes with these things, she also asked for which company I applied. I told her and then I asked her back if she has a job for me. She asked if I can cook, I said not that much, she said then she doesn't have a job and I playfully answered it's good we met she can enjoy her drink then and I have to go.

By this last part was while waiting to order the drinks in the queue. She also asked me from which city in my country I am from, and if I came from there straight to the place we live , and I also asked her how she ended up in this country. She mentioned she had lived in a number of different places but she really loves it here the most. I asked why, she told me she likes how organised everything is, and I agreed and told her how I love the quiet beauty of it.

I didn't want to get way deeper there so I asked her drink preference, we arrived and ordered. I paid, she said if she should give me the money, I looked at her like saying "don't even mention that", she said she would pay the next one and we went to sit.

In fact I asked her if she has any preference regarding where to sit, she said no, so I told her her I know this very nice couch and we went to this couch I am taking all the girls lately. Interesting place because it's also deep inside the bar next to the wall, so pretty much away from all the other tables and benches, perfect to create a bubble, but I guess people that want to enjoy the social nature of the bar don't prefer it that much. All good, I'll be using it.

Connecting at the bar

We sat down, and since were already in the topic of changing countries I asked her if she enjoys travelling. She said yes, I asked her what she likes about it, she said learning new things and cultures, and I also said I love exploring different places, getting these experiences, and I believe you can also have the most exciting adventures while travelling, it really helps you be more open minded and enjoy life.

She then said she likes it more when she can also live at a new place for longer and can understand the culture, and it can change you. I asked her how living in the different places changed her and she told me that she felt she became way more open minded and risk taking after leaving her home city, and now when she goes back it feels like the people that stayed there didn't change in that way. I said I agree and that you can really discover yourself more, and open your horizons in that way.

At some point, not sure exactly when but fairly early after we sat, she asked me how old I am. I had her guess, she was like 30, for some reason it felt like she was winging it so I told her to tell me what she really feels. She said I could be from 28-40, I said she is off even with that and I am 27, and also told her she is a lady and I'm not gonna ask back. She was like I don't care, how old you make me, and I responded I can't say exactly, but a bit above me. She was like ok that's good, with a slight mix of relief and satisfaction.

Regarding body contact, we both had our legs crossed, for a long time towards each other, so at some moments, our feet would touch a bit. I was also touching her back, shoulder and thigh from time to time. And regarding eye contact I could feel she was looking at me like she was desiring me, and a number of times I was noticing her move her eyes towards my lips, so I was feeling at a good place attraction wise.

A side note here, I tried to go a bit more with the flow, still present my frames of course, but for example, I talked about travelling right away since we were at that topic. For this reason remembering exactly the order of what we talked about is difficult, and I even thought about it for a moment during the date that the way I structure this conversation, it will be difficult to remember it exactly for the field report. So I am sorry if some things are not exact, or in a bit of a different order.

She asked me why I came to this city. I jokingly said look at it, it's so beautiful, and then said that the University was very good. I also aksed why she came, she was like randomly for work. I asked what she means randomly, she just applied everywhere and wherever they took her? She explained to me that she had to do her specialisation after finishing her veterinary degree, and there were only certain places in the world she could go, one was a fairly distant area so she decided to take the position here.

She explained how she was going for an academic career, but now she doesn't want to do a phd, she wants to find a senior position and maybe do a phd later in her life, but her professor is pushing her for a phd. I told her she should do whatever feels better for herself, asked her if she can find something else before the senior position opens, I asked if there is a big issue with the professor if she doesn't do it, she said no, so I told her she should just follow her desire and she can always come back to academia later, and that I also didn't go for a phd because I felt it wasn't that moment for me.

I then asked her how her childhood was and if her family was pressing her towards academia, since it feels like that. She told me yes, that they find academic achievements very important, and also for the status such a position gives you. I told her I understand and that my family also found that important, but at some point you live your life, and you have to do what feels the best for you.

I asked her if she is spontaneous or plans everything and she told me that she is very spontaneous now, but used to plan a lot, and I told her that's good it means she knows how to enjoy every moment of life. She asked me back and I said I am as well, of course I do plan for longe term to not live in the street, but I do my best to appreciate every single day since we don't know what the future holds.

I asked what she does in her free time, she told me she likes travelling, eating, I mentioned here the cook thing from the beginning, and she also likes being active. She told me that she is also not really an extrovert, she be good with people, so many people thing that but she needs some time by herself, to charge her batteries. I told her I also feel the same way, and I need some time for myself, but this is good because it means you have time to stay alone and get in touch with yourself.

Towards the juicier stuff

I also asked her about her relationships. Not sure how I got into that , but she told me she had a long one for 7 years that finally ended because they took different paths in their lives and then she didn't really connect in the same way with anyone, and she doesn't know if she should be looking like that. She in fact said that most other connections she had were meaningless, I asked her what she meant, she said without really caring for each other in that sense, but she doesn't know, maybe she is too focused on finding what she had.

I told her that building a connection in which you appreciate each other is important, and that probably all will be different than the one she had and she will not find exactly the same. But that's not the point anyway, the point is to enjoy life, and whether you connect with someone for a day a week or an eternity, it is always possible for it to be meaningful. You simply need to be open, and a lot of times you simply feel the energy, and when you talk the discussion can flow naturally.

I think I said some more regarding that but on the same page. The thing to note is that I should probably try and have a number of ways to present frames like this more clear in my mind. I have realised that a lot of times I start talking to set it, and I don't find the exact words I want right away, and talk a bit too long. I should try to be more concise with the message I deliver.

I also asked her what her drive is, she couldn't find something, asked me back, and I said freedom, living following what I desire and not what other people or the society would dictate and she agreed with that.

At some point around there I simply turned, looked at her and asked her if she is sexual. She looked a bit confused and asked me what I mean. I told her I mean how much she values sex in her life, and that it something we do naturally, and people for some reason don't talk about it, but it is one of the best ways to really connect deeply with someone. She told me of course she considers sex importance who doesn't, I told her there are people who don't care much.

Then she asked me back how I see it and I told her about how beautiful I find it, it's the ultimate form of connection, how it can of course happen that you meet someone for 10 minutes and you feel the desire to do it, and it can be that you also connect with someone deeper mentally, and spiritually, and they are all valid, as long as you are openly expressing yourself. And that I also believe that it simply doesn't work to start getting closer with someone if you don't know how you connect in the sexual part, maybe you are incompatible and you realised too late.

She mentioned something about relationships getting stale as the time passes. I told her that in fact it should be getting better the more you get to know someone, maybe the first time won't be great, then you realise what each person wants, but the point is that sex is the most intimate form of connection that leaves two people naked and vulnerable to really discover each other.

After some of these things I was also asking her back how she feels about it, and generally she was saying she agreed. In general we talked a bit back and forth like that about topics related to sex and relationships, I was more or less setting similar frames like the ones I mentioned, and at some point she said how did we end up talking about all that to which I answered I do not remembered, it simply flowed.

Pull Attempt and Pull Success

Around that moment was I think when i decided to go for a pull. Not sure exactly why, maybe I was feeling she was interested, and there was a silence after the conversation, so I thought to go for it. In fact I feel after reaching that point of the conversation I probably didn't know with what to continue.

So I asked her if she is done with her drink, she said he had a bit more, I told her because I was thinking of go chill to another place. I asked if she is artistic, she said yes she really appreciates aesthetic. So I told her I also love art and beauty, and in fact I have some art pieces in my place that I would like to show her. She said:" So that's the place we were going to go, I said yes, she asked me for the art?, I said yes for the art, looking at her eyes while delivering the lines.

She said something along the lines of not knowing and it feels tooearly and Isaid tooearly for what what do you hae in mind. I then told her i simply enjoy our time together, she said she does too, so I said I would like to spend more. She was seeming to be considering it, at some point we had a long seductive stare down, chilling back at the pillows of the couch, but like really long to the point that she asked if it is the game that whoever looks away lose, I said yes, she looked away after a bit, and told her well I won.

I then mentioned something about the paintings again and she said she hasn't agreed on coming. At that point I realised pushing that more would not help, but before I could think of any other concrete plan she herself asked me how I got into physics and what I find interesting in it.

I don't remember exactly the thing she asked in fact, but I do know I realised at that moment she wants some more connection and to get to know me better. i went into how I approached physics, and how it helped me have a certain approach towards the world, that most things people worry about are not that important. She asked me what kind of physics I did and how i got into that. I told her cosmology and that's why I started seeing things from a broader scope and realised that you just have to live your life the way you want, since most other things are not that serious.

I think I had already mentioned once before that the reason I like living free and going for what I feel is why I approached her, but I mentioned something similar here again. She was telling me that I sound very mature for my age, and usually this happens wen someone has experienced something big in his life. I told her that it's not really one thing, but after studying this field I came into the world seeing really the difference in the importance you put on things, and also since I was a kid I was going for the things I wanted, probably because they never told me in my family that I cannot do something. And she said that I must have had a supportive family, and I told her yes.

She asked if I am talking like that with everyone, I told her I do with people that interest me, she said she loves talking about deep things and hates small talk. I agreed and said you only learn superficial things like that. She also asked how I came to have this whole approach towards life I have, because it feels unique, most people would not be living life in that. I think I gave her a mix of some of the previous frames here I cannot remember exactly.

At some point we had another big stare down, she told me at some point that I am allowed to blink since I wasn't really, eventually i looked away frist, mostly because I got bored to be honest, and told her I am giving her this one.

At some random moment she told me that she does believe in energy as well. Connecting this to the fact that I had mentioned way earlier how I felt something about her energy, I realised it was basically a form of her saying I do feel something here as well. She told me that she can feel if someone is happy or sad or how the energy changes. Maybe she also felt the sexual energy of my erection, who knows.

The thing is that at this point I really felt I could pull. I asked her again if her drink is done, then said we can go and she asked if I mean to my place. I said yes and this time she mostly asked where it is, how far and logistical questions, and I assured her it's close and only 5 minute walk. After that I basically waited a moment, and said let's go, making a move to stand up, to which she simply replied ok and we left.

During the walk towards my place, we talked about some superficial things, like how your personality can change when you speak different languages, as she heard someone saying something funny in Spanish while we were walking. Anyway nothing important here, I just kept some conversation for the transition, we arrived at my place, and got up in my apartment quite smoothly.

My place

Inside, I opened the windows because it was warm as hell, she took her flats off, then requested to use the bath. When she came back she asked me about my multiple toothbrushes, I jokingly said they are for all the different girls that come around, then I told her more seriously that some are for my parents when they drop by, and she said it's fine she wasn't really asking. Maybe that wasn't the best move, I think I was afraid of sounding a bit too playerish.

I then went to the bathroom myself, asked her if she wanted something, she said water so I gave her a glass, also told her that she could move my small table if she wanted and she said she was fine.

When I came back from the bathroom I found her sitting at my armchair next to the fully open window. This was a bit tricky logistically, I told her she really decided to go at the edge of the room, I went to sit at my couch which is on the opposite side for a second, thinking maybe she would come, but she told me that she was sitting there because of the window since it is too hot.

That's when I realised: Wait a minute, she is not fat, especially the way she is sitting is not taking up the whole armchair, and I am fairly skinny. So I simply told her I feel I could fit there myself. So I went to the armchair and managed to somehow sit closer to the edge of it, in some weird positioning. I put some music from my phone on the desk next to the armchair, and then after saying two three random things I simply went in for the kiss in this strange sitting arrangement and it worked perfectly.

The rest of the escalation was pretty smooth. We ended up getting on the bed, and I spent some time licking and fingering her pussy. One of my issues was that the erection I had was not there anymore, and was because I got too focused on what I was doing as a service. To be honest though, I also had both some sexual anxiety connected to past situations where I didn't perform well, and physically I feel that my erections and sexual health in general could need some boosting.

Anyway at some point while I was licking and fingering she just told me to stop and she laid down to rest for a bit, and didn't even want kisses at that point. Not sure if she orgasmed, but it did feel like she reached something and then the rest would be overstimulation. I laid there next to her and she went straight for my dick in my pants, as I hadn't taken them off yet.

Gladly her moans and reactions during the last parts of the licking/fingering had excited me a lot, so I was hard, sadly I was kinda on the verge already. I took her hand off after few strokes telling her I got too excited by licking her and hearing her moans, but then she came back and stroked furiously so I came. Also while cumming I made no sound or reaction, and she told me I stayed so silent and didn't moan at all, and she hasn't seen that before.

Up till now it's not that bad, the reason though I'm saying that I feel there was something physical as well is that after this orgasm I could feel my sexual energy depleted. Like I was literally wondering how much the refractory period would last, because the feeling in my body was that it would need quite some time to get ready again. Remember I wasn't even crazily hard all the time even before cumming.

Side note, I am not drinking lately, so even the one glass of wine, especially with not a full belly, did affect my sexual responses a bit. The rest was probably a mix of
lacking some sleep these last two days, and a general feeling of tiredness. These are not excuses though, I should take more care of my lifestyle, and especially when I know I may have sex to not just wing it but be well rested and well nourished.

From Handjob orgasm to Sex

What happened after I came from the handjob is that she went to change the music and then we laid at the bed together. She wasn't laying on me, and she did feel a bit more distant at that moment. She almost right away said that she is 34, and that since we reached this point I shoud know everything, I asked her if I know everything, and she said ok no not everything. We were kinda both chilling for a while and see asked if I know how to massage. I said I'm not a pro but I can use my hands. I asked her back and she said no, so I told her that that's the best way to always escape when someone asks for one.

She told me that some area below her shoulder was hurting so I did massage her for a bit with my hand, without really changing my position on the bed. During all this time I was just thinking if I will get hard again, or se will just get bored and leave. At some point the music randomly stopped and stood up to check. I started it again, saw that it was almost 20 minutes since my orgasm, but no response from my dick.

At that moment she asked me what time it is, I told her, and I realised she was considering to just leave. So I simply said to myself no you are not letting her go like that. I jumped back onto the bed and started licking, fingering and playing with her asshole at the same time for a while. I got really suffocated down there and at some point she was jumping up and down, felt I couldn't hold anymore so I stopped, and she told me she was close, so I felt a bit sad.

The good news were that I was hard again, because of her moans and reactions. I asked her if she orgasms easily and she told me no, then I asked her to tell me what parts of her body are the most sensitive, she said her shoulders and neck, and specifically biting and sucking, not licking with tongue. I went for that that as she was lying on her belly, and at some point she just said it was enough and she didn't want any marks.

i was feeling I should take some charge. I had called her baby at some point and she had told me: "Baby? No", and in gerenal I could feel that she wasn't really letting me dominate her, especially at this moment of the night. So I just turned her around and presented my dick, she took a blowjob for a bit, then I went for some 69 and eventually I brought a condom and went straight for penetrative sex.

Bad thing is that although I had an erection it still wasn't that hard, but at least I got in and went for something close to the adaptive missionary. I kept going for a bit, while sucking on her shoulder, and at some point she told me that she needs me to make some sound, I'm too silent and it doesn't work for her. i told her I was sucking, and I tried to growl but it ended up funny, so I started granting while pounding her.

I think it worked well for a bit, we both got more excited, but I was feeling again both that I could not hold a strong erection for long and that I was getting closer to the edge, so I broke the rhythm of the sex and it resulted to some loss of the vibe. As I was feeling that my dick was not staying as hard as it could, I made the decision to get out and try another position, to see if it could fire me up more.

The moment I got out though I saw blood on the condom. I mentioned it and she said her period probably started, so I asked if we should stop and she said yes. I told her I'm sorry if I triggered something, and she asked to have a quick shower to which of course I said sure.

Then she came in I was checking something on the computer, she asked me, and I told her I was checking how to clean the blood from the sheets and if she knows. Probably a stupid thing to mention as it feels like I never had another period on my sheets. I told her that's one of the reasons I like not being a woman, she said she is sorry for the blood and I jokingly said that maybe I'll have her come here and brush it, to which she seriously responded no.

Then she said she had to run, I put on some clothes quickly and we went down at the tram station outside my place. As we were waiting for the tram she was looking uneasy, and she told me that she was bleeding, right now, that's why she wanted to run. We hugged a bit close holding each other for a bunch of seconds multiple times. I looked at her and told her she really has something, she said me too. And the moment the tram came, we gave a kiss, only lips, and parted ways.

Conclusions

My god, this was humongous, thanks to everyone who reached that far. I felt I really owed it to all the people that were supportive with their comments throughout the latest field reports and helped me tweak my approach in all the right detailed ways, and even to those that simply went through them even though there was no result in the end.

That's why I tried to make this as detailed as possible, and to be honest i think I am not going to be posting these kind of reports for all the dates, instant dates or pulls, simply because it's extremely time inefficient to spent all this time writing them almost everyday.

Going back to this particular situation with girl, I felt I went for the first pull too early, maybe this will come with more experience as well, but it's good to start recognising more of the signs in general. At least this time I stayed there more patiently, feeling that with some more time I'll get it, and it worked.

Back at my place, there was not much LMR but my penis dick issues really made me feel I may lose this chance for sex, especially after cumming the first time. I mentioned what I should do regarding these issues, in fact I have mentioned it before so I should really start to put it to work. Because really offering sexual pleasure is very important for me and sometimes I feel I am not fully present because I think: ok will I get a bit harder? or ok will I last a bit longer?. I probably had not realised how usually it was happening, because in my mind I am still this sexual virile guy I remember I was in the past, but the real life experience shows that I clearly have to take care of it now.

At least even through all this, I stayed and persisted enough to get the lay, and I'm happy for this. Not sure how good her experience was eventually, I'm pretty sure it wasn't some great sex, and this lack of presence and thinking about my sexual performance did contribute to that.

I didn't text tonight, wanted to follow Chase's advice of doing it the next morning, so I plan to send a text in the morning saying the it was a great time, and I hope she got some good rest.

How to move on from here is something else, and not something I have much experience in. I'll be checking into some articles regarding what to do after sex. I'm anyway leaving for a trip, so we won't see each other for 10 days for sure. I also honestly doubt that she would want more of this experience, but we'll see.

 

[Will_V]

Well done my man!

I didn't want to get way deeper there so I asked her drink preference, we arrived and ordered. I paid, she said if she should give me the money, I looked at her like saying "don't even mention that", she said she would pay the next one and we went to sit.

Good move, I usually say to a girl the same "you can get the next one" that way I can avoid any awkward stuff at the start. Often girls will actually jump in and pay for the next one without being prompted again.

At some point, not sure exactly when but fairly early after we sat, she asked me how old I am. I had her guess, she was like 30, for some reason it felt like she was winging it so I told her to tell me what she really feels. She said I could be from 28-40, I said she is off even with that and I am 27, and also told her she is a lady and I'm not gonna ask back. She was like I don't care, how old you make me, and I responded I can't say exactly, but a bit above me. She was like ok that's good, with a slight mix of relief and satisfaction.

I think it's much better for your frame to ask back, if you aren't going to deflect the question altogether. Otherwise it comes across like you have less standards than she does, and she is more in the judgement seat. You saw how, much later on, she told you her age - probably she felt uncomfortable being the only one that seemed to care about it.

Regarding body contact, we both had our legs crossed, for a long time towards each other, so at some moments, our feet would touch a bit. I was also touching her back, shoulder and thigh from time to time. And regarding eye contact I could feel she was looking at me like she was desiring me, and a number of times I was noticing her move her eyes towards my lips, so I was feeling at a good place attraction wise.

A side note here, I tried to go a bit more with the flow, still present my frames of course, but for example, I talked about travelling right away since we were at that topic. For this reason remembering exactly the order of what we talked about is difficult, and I even thought about it for a moment during the date that the way I structure this conversation, it will be difficult to remember it exactly for the field report. So I am sorry if some things are not exact, or in a bit of a different order.

That's a good approach especially in the early stages of the conversation, you want things to be relaxed and open, get out of your head, and enjoy yourself. Personally, I could never write an exact field report of any conversation I've had with a woman, I'm way too present and my awareness is way too expanded to cover those sorts of details.

The main things at this point are not to get bogged down in bad topics, and generally steer the conversation toward 'what kind of girl are you?'.

I asked what she does in her free time, she told me she likes travelling, eating, I mentioned here the cook thing from the beginning, and she also likes being active. She told me that she is also not really an extrovert, she be good with people, so many people thing that but she needs some time by herself, to charge her batteries. I told her I also feel the same way, and I need some time for myself, but this is good because it means you have time to stay alone and get in touch with yourself.

One good idea here might be to qualify her on things you like (instead of just finding similarity) and doing some future projection, e.g.

Her: "I like hiking and being outdoors".
<after a bit of pressing her on what exactly she likes>
You "Ok good, I like a girl who isn't boring on a sunday afternoon".

Towards the juicier stuff

I also asked her about her relationships. Not sure how I got into that , but she told me she had a long one for 7 years that finally ended because they took different paths in their lives and then she didn't really connect in the same way with anyone, and she doesn't know if she should be looking like that. She in fact said that most other connections she had were meaningless, I asked her what she meant, she said without really caring for each other in that sense, but she doesn't know, maybe she is too focused on finding what she had.

I told her that building a connection in which you appreciate each other is important, and that probably all will be different than the one she had and she will not find exactly the same. But that's not the point anyway, the point is to enjoy life, and whether you connect with someone for a day a week or an eternity, it is always possible for it to be meaningful. You simply need to be open, and a lot of times you simply feel the energy, and when you talk the discussion can flow naturally.

I think I said some more regarding that but on the same page. The thing to note is that I should probably try and have a number of ways to present frames like this more clear in my mind. I have realised that a lot of times I start talking to set it, and I don't find the exact words I want right away, and talk a bit too long. I should try to be more concise with the message I deliver.

Yeah you don't want to get into a 'script' mentality about this stuff, women can sense when you really mean something or you're just saying it.

I recommend the following:

1. Write down a list of the best experiences you've had in life
2. For each of them write a little story of a few paragraphs about the experience, why it felt so good, what it meant to you, etc
3. Rewrite the little story so that it is as relatable to sex as possible

The ability to tell good stories is one of the most important seduction skills, because stories enable you to set multiple powerful frames without being overbearing, annoying, or running into her defenses, since she's not directly part of the story. So her mind will be very open as she listens to you.

At some point around there I simply turned, looked at her and asked her if she is sexual. She looked a bit confused and asked me what I mean. I told her I mean how much she values sex in her life, and that it something we do naturally, and people for some reason don't talk about it, but it is one of the best ways to really connect deeply with someone. She told me of course she considers sex importance who doesn't, I told her there are people who don't care much.

Then she asked me back how I see it and I told her about how beautiful I find it, it's the ultimate form of connection, how it can of course happen that you meet someone for 10 minutes and you feel the desire to do it, and it can be that you also connect with someone deeper mentally, and spiritually, and they are all valid, as long as you are openly expressing yourself. And that I also believe that it simply doesn't work to start getting closer with someone if you don't know how you connect in the sexual part, maybe you are incompatible and you realised too late.

She mentioned something about relationships getting stale as the time passes. I told her that in fact it should be getting better the more you get to know someone, maybe the first time won't be great, then you realise what each person wants, but the point is that sex is the most intimate form of connection that leaves two people naked and vulnerable to really discover each other.

After some of these things I was also asking her back how she feels about it, and generally she was saying she agreed. In general we talked a bit back and forth like that about topics related to sex and relationships, I was more or less setting similar frames like the ones I mentioned, and at some point she said how did we end up talking about all that to which I answered I do not remembered, it simply flowed.

Not the smoothest introduction of sex to the conversation. And also, the way she started talking about 'how did we get here' shows that the bubble was starting to fail and maybe wasn't so strong to begin with. Make sure she's participating, draw on the things she says when you say your pieces, and make sure she's with you and not straggling behind. Otherwise you end up with a sense of lost connection that I think played a part in her later resistance to going home.

Make sure you aren't delivering speeches, it's much better to vibe with her over something ordinary and vaguely sexual than it is to deliver a spiel on something really deep and profound that she isn't following along with.

You don't need to prove anything to her, you want to speak from a place of what you know and understand about sex and intimacy, and find where and what parts of that she responds to, and expand on that.

Pull Attempt and Pull Success

Around that moment was I think when i decided to go for a pull. Not sure exactly why, maybe I was feeling she was interested, and there was a silence after the conversation, so I thought to go for it. In fact I feel after reaching that point of the conversation I probably didn't know with what to continue.

That's usually the best place for the pull, when the conversation dies down but the energy and tension is high. But, it sounds like the sex talk hadn't exactly had the intended effect, so it was a bit premature.

So I asked her if she is done with her drink, she said he had a bit more, I told her because I was thinking of go chill to another place. I asked if she is artistic, she said yes she really appreciates aesthetic. So I told her I also love art and beauty, and in fact I have some art pieces in my place that I would like to show her. She said:" So that's the place we were going to go, I said yes, she asked me for the art?, I said yes for the art, looking at her eyes while delivering the lines.

She said something along the lines of not knowing and it feels tooearly and Isaid tooearly for what what do you hae in mind. I then told her i simply enjoy our time together, she said she does too, so I said I would like to spend more. She was seeming to be considering it, at some point we had a long seductive stare down, chilling back at the pillows of the couch, but like really long to the point that she asked if it is the game that whoever looks away lose, I said yes, she looked away after a bit, and told her well I won.

That's a risky move, going into a staredown like that straight after her objection. What I suggest to do here instead is say something like:

"Let's go and chill somewhere more comfortable, watch a movie or something. No pressure, I know what you're thinking. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you're not ready for. I'll make sure you have a good time." Just like that.

A woman's biggest fear when it's time to pull is usually that a guy has an expectation that things have to go a certain way, and he'll get reactive if they don't. You just need to show her you understand that and it's not the case. Especially more mature women respond well to clarifications like this.

I then mentioned something about the paintings again and she said she hasn't agreed on coming. At that point I realised pushing that more would not help, but before I could think of any other concrete plan she herself asked me how I got into physics and what I find interesting in it.

I don't remember exactly the thing she asked in fact, but I do know I realised at that moment she wants some more connection and to get to know me better. i went into how I approached physics, and how it helped me have a certain approach towards the world, that most things people worry about are not that important. She asked me what kind of physics I did and how i got into that. I told her cosmology and that's why I started seeing things from a broader scope and realised that you just have to live your life the way you want, since most other things are not that serious.

I think I had already mentioned once before that the reason I like living free and going for what I feel is why I approached her, but I mentioned something similar here again. She was telling me that I sound very mature for my age, and usually this happens wen someone has experienced something big in his life. I told her that it's not really one thing, but after studying this field I came into the world seeing really the difference in the importance you put on things, and also since I was a kid I was going for the things I wanted, probably because they never told me in my family that I cannot do something. And she said that I must have had a supportive family, and I told her yes.

She asked if I am talking like that with everyone, I told her I do with people that interest me, she said she loves talking about deep things and hates small talk. I agreed and said you only learn superficial things like that. She also asked how I came to have this whole approach towards life I have, because it feels unique, most people would not be living life in that. I think I gave her a mix of some of the previous frames here I cannot remember exactly.

At some point we had another big stare down, she told me at some point that I am allowed to blink since I wasn't really, eventually i looked away frist, mostly because I got bored to be honest, and told her I am giving her this one.

I've noticed something in your reports, women will often ask you if you speak a certain way with everyone or just her. It's a sign that there's a bit of a lack of congruence with what you are saying and presenting, maybe it sounds a bit too rehearsed, and she's putting on her little detective hat and prodding at it.

That's why I suggest clarifying your own experiences and the stories you want to tell about them, and not trying to get too profound with stuff you haven't experienced so much yet.

The rest of the escalation was pretty smooth. We ended up getting on the bed, and I spent some time licking and fingering her pussy. One of my issues was that the erection I had was not there anymore, and was because I got too focused on what I was doing as a service. To be honest though, I also had both some sexual anxiety connected to past situations where I didn't perform well, and physically I feel that my erections and sexual health in general could need some boosting.

Anyway at some point while I was licking and fingering she just told me to stop and she laid down to rest for a bit, and didn't even want kisses at that point. Not sure if she orgasmed, but it did feel like she reached something and then the rest would be overstimulation. I laid there next to her and she went straight for my dick in my pants, as I hadn't taken them off yet.

Dude she wanted your cock the whole time.

Something I remember picking up from girls chase site is - get your dick in her asap, give a few thrusts, and then you can go and do whatever other stuff you want. That's how I make sure to do things now. Once your dick's been inside her, everything changes for the better, and she's much more easygoing about stuff that isn't perfectly done right.

Otherwise something might not work out and oops, you haven't actually banged yet, so you're still just on a date that's going south.

The moment I got out though I saw blood on the condom. I mentioned it and she said her period probably started, so I asked if we should stop and she said yes. I told her I'm sorry if I triggered something, and she asked to have a quick shower to which of course I said sure.

1. Don't ask her if you should stop, ask her how she's feeling.
2. Don't apologize ever in the bedroom.

Also, after sex, take the opportunity to chill and just enjoy yourself and your own emotions, tell yourself "I came I saw I conquered", lay back with your hands clasped under your head, and smile at the ceiling.

Women especially after sex like to see you enjoying yourself and being self-absorbed and happy, even if the sex wasn't so great. It makes them feel like they've successfully made you happy. But if you're still tense and in your head or disappointed or whatever, they feel like they failed.

So if you want to see her again, even if the sex was all over the place or you came in 5 minutes or whatever, just lay back, smile, and act like she just cooked you a nice dinner and you enjoyed it. Her enjoyment is actually not as important as yours, to her.

Onward and upward, as they say!

 

[Higher]

Good stuff!

I should also try approaching during the night. It always felt weird to me as a 40+ dude, but maybe its just a limiting belief.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think it's much better for your frame to ask back, if you aren't going to deflect the question altogether. Otherwise it comes across like you have less standards than she does, and she is more in the judgement seat. You saw how, much later on, she told you her age - probably she felt uncomfortable being the only one that seemed to care about it.

Yeah, I feel that's one blue pill thing that has remained in my mind, not asking women their age. I guess I always thought it was gentlemany, but I agree with your point.

One good idea here might be to qualify her on things you like (instead of just finding similarity) and doing some future projection, e.g.

Her: "I like hiking and being outdoors".
<after a bit of pressing her on what exactly she likes>
You "Ok good, I like a girl who isn't boring on a sunday afternoon".

That's nice. Sometimes I do things like that. For example she might say something and I mention that this means she is open minded and I like that, and then get into the fact that I am too. So yeah a part of it, could be that the report is not so exact, but I see what you mean, will be using it.

Yeah you don't want to get into a 'script' mentality about this stuff, women can sense when you really mean something or you're just saying it.

I recommend the following:

1. Write down a list of the best experiences you've had in life
2. For each of them write a little story of a few paragraphs about the experience, why it felt so good, what it meant to you, etc
3. Rewrite the little story so that it is as relatable to sex as possible

The ability to tell good stories is one of the most important seduction skills, because stories enable you to set multiple powerful frames without being overbearing, annoying, or running into her defenses, since she's not directly part of the story. So her mind will be very open as she listens to you.

Good approach. I wouldn't say that I don't mean it per se, but because I don't always have a very clear idea of how to present what I want, it feels like I am finding what words to say at that moment. Which probably makes it feel sometimes that I could be making it up, but from my side it's more that I'm trying to make up the way to explain it so that my message is clear.

I feel I've done this process with some experiences in my life mostly in my mind though, thinking how I would present this or that to set the right frames, but with no real structure, so then I get a bit lost when I talk about them. So you are right, writing them down to have them more clear is something that could really help.

Not the smoothest introduction of sex to the conversation. And also, the way she started talking about 'how did we get here' shows that the bubble was starting to fail and maybe wasn't so strong to begin with. Make sure she's participating, draw on the things she says when you say your pieces, and make sure she's with you and not straggling behind. Otherwise you end up with a sense of lost connection that I think played a part in her later resistance to going home.

Make sure you aren't delivering speeches, it's much better to vibe with her over something ordinary and vaguely sexual than it is to deliver a spiel on something really deep and profound that she isn't following along with.

You don't need to prove anything to her, you want to speak from a place of what you know and understand about sex and intimacy, and find where and what parts of that she responds to, and expand on that.

Oh yeah it wasn't smooth for sure. I should check some ways to introduce the topic better. At least I have done these kind of introductions in the past and I have noticed they don't break things if I stick to my guns and show her why I am interested in the topic. Here I also told her something like she gives me an energy, that she is very sensual and in touch with her body, so I wanted to discover how she experiences sexuality.

And yeah the speech is another thing we have discussed in these reports before. I tried to limit it here in fact, there was more back and forth, she was saying something, I sometimes interrupted to add something to her thought or simply shared my view on it after she had finished. So I felt at this point the discussion had more flow and felt a bit less like a speech than other times, didn't remember the flow exactly though, that's why I couldn't portray it in the report well.

Surely something to keep working on with the speeches and the vibing.

That's usually the best place for the pull, when the conversation dies down but the energy and tension is high. But, it sounds like the sex talk hadn't exactly had the intended effect, so it was a bit premature.

Yeah was also feeling it a bit off, that why I was hesitating a bit. I hadn't seeded it earlier either, so it wasn't the most confident or smooth pull attempt for sure. At least I feel I owned it.

That's a risky move, going into a staredown like that straight after her objection. What I suggest to do here instead is say something like:

"Let's go and chill somewhere more comfortable, watch a movie or something. No pressure, I know what you're thinking. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you're not ready for. I'll make sure you have a good time." Just like that.

A woman's biggest fear when it's time to pull is usually that a guy has an expectation that things have to go a certain way, and he'll get reactive if they don't. You just need to show her you understand that and it's not the case. Especially more mature women respond well to clarifications like this.

Now that you mention it, it's possible that this stare down did not happen exactly there. We did stare there for a bit as well, I wanted to show her that I am for real, but I feel it could have happened with a bit of different timing, not exactly after the pull attempt. Because I don't remember it feeling very risky or make or break at the moment we did it, but I see your point how it would be, I'll have it in mind.

What I surely do and has worked in the past is when proposing the pull I am looking at her and I've had situations when she just keeps the eye contact for few seconds in silence checking if I flinch, and then just goes: "ok".

And in fact I did say something like: "We can go to my place, chill for a bit and you'll only do what you enjoy and feel like, that's what I want". I totally forgot it, but your comment brought back the memory. The way you phrased it is again more clear, but I do think she understood what I meant.

I've noticed something in your reports, women will often ask you if you speak a certain way with everyone or just her. It's a sign that there's a bit of a lack of congruence with what you are saying and presenting, maybe it sounds a bit too rehearsed, and she's putting on her little detective hat and prodding at it.

That's why I suggest clarifying your own experiences and the stories you want to tell about them, and not trying to get too profound with stuff you haven't experienced so much yet.

Yeah, I've felt that as well. Will work on feeling less rehearsed.

Dude she wanted your cock the whole time.

Something I remember picking up from girls chase site is - get your dick in her asap, give a few thrusts, and then you can go and do whatever other stuff you want. That's how I make sure to do things now. Once your dick's been inside her, everything changes for the better, and she's much more easygoing about stuff that isn't perfectly done right.

Otherwise something might not work out and oops, you haven't actually banged yet, so you're still just on a date that's going south.

Now that you mention it , while we were kissing and I was running my mouth all over her body, before even getting her fully undressed, she started squeezing my cock inside my pants hard. And at that moment my cock was really hard.

I think two things happened. One is that I have the mindset of licking and fingering first a bit to give some orgasms in order to be covered if I don't manage to give one through sex. Maybe in fact she will be even more primed for that if she has had another one before. So I have generally followed this more, but I suppose a lot of times they just want the dick quickly.

The second thing that happened is that I was a bit self-conscious about whether I could last if I went straight for it, and didn't want to begin with an anti-climatic premature orgasm. The funny thing though is that in the beginning this wasn't that bad. After I started licking and fingering I lost the erection, and got way more self conscious, because I wasn't thinking only if I could last for long but also if I could get hard again!

So I do think the vibe was ruined a bit, since at that moment I was too much in my head, and felt like I wanted to give her my cock but it was not responding. So your point is very good, if I had gone straight for it, I would have had the strong erection from the beginning and way less things to overthink about. And even if it happened that I orgasmed quickly, I could always transition to other forms of sex then.

So I'll take you up for it, and when I am raging horny I will be focusing on getting inside her fast to escape all these kinds of issues.

1. Don't ask her if you should stop, ask her how she's feeling.
2. Don't apologize ever in the bedroom.

Yeah I didn't really really like the way I handled that either.

I think when I saw the blood I firstly said: "Oh there is some blood, are you ok?". She then said that yeah, it is her period and just started, so I asked her if she would like to stop. My thinking was that it could be probably painful for her to continue like that with her period starting.

But I see your point, maybe I subconsciously felt that the sexual experience wasn't great till then so felt like not pushing through in these conditions. You are right though, there is no reason to stop if she is feeling ok and you are enjoying each other.

The other part about apologizing I knew it, I just have to keep in my mind to never fall back to it. At that moment I felt that due to the intensity of the experience I kick started her period so I felt a bid bad. But it still doesn't set any right frames, I mean I didn't do anything wrong anyway, it's a natural part of her life. So yeah I will have it as something to live with, not apologizing in the bedroom ever.

Also, after sex, take the opportunity to chill and just enjoy yourself and your own emotions, tell yourself "I came I saw I conquered", lay back with your hands clasped under your head, and smile at the ceiling.

Women especially after sex like to see you enjoying yourself and being self-absorbed and happy, even if the sex wasn't so great. It makes them feel like they've successfully made you happy. But if you're still tense and in your head or disappointed or whatever, they feel like they failed.

So if you want to see her again, even if the sex was all over the place or you came in 5 minutes or whatever, just lay back, smile, and act like she just cooked you a nice dinner and you enjoyed it. Her enjoyment is actually not as important as yours, to her.

Yeah I should work on that. I think that's why she was telling me the things about not making any noice as well, she felt like I wasn't really enjoying it. And I mean in general I can, I was a bit in my head though so I should stay more present.

After sex I didn't really do something particular, went to the pc, and we left shortly, but I surely didn't have the vibe that I conquered. That's because I felt that we stopped in the middle and it was a bit anti-climatic, having me think maybe the whole experience wasn't that great, and probably she was even regretting going all the way with me.

But I did notice these thoughts, so when we went out waiting for the tram I held her close exactly to show her that I appreciated and enjoyed everything. And at least I knew not to verbalise any kind of concern of how it felt.

I will have to internalise this conqueror mindset after sex more. I guess I sometimes I feel it would be too cocky to feel like that, if you didn't provide a great experience, but the truth is you did get inside so you did conquer. And you don't need to act like it was the best sex ever, but still be very satisfied.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I should also try approaching during the night. It always felt weird to me as a 40+ dude, but maybe its just a limiting belief.

Yeah I'd say that if you just make it look like you are walking around and when you see someone you stop and talk, everything feels natural.

What works for me is having a good excuse for when they ask what you are doing out here at night, and it could be anything, I've said I came to throw bottles to the recycling bin. And a lot of times, I literally also find another reason to go out even if insignificant, apart from approaching.

Then I really feel that I am naturally outside for something else, and all approaches I do can be excused as me living my life and randomly noticing a girl. It feels a bit less like hunting and I think it improves my internal frame.

Regarding age, I already feel what you described for young girls, many tend to look at me like I'm doing something weird talking to them whether it's day or night. At least the locals, rarely met an Eastern European for example telling me I'm too old, they may not like you, but they won't have that much of an age issue generally.

So a lot of it can be cultural as well, that said in the end as long as you do respectful approaches and not harassing anyone, I don't see why night would be any different. You may find some girls that are very closed, and some very open.

Not to mention it can also be a natural time for an instant pull if there is a strong vibe.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I cannot edit the original post for some reason, but wanted to add something small I remembered so I'll do it here.

Exactly before the final pull, after we had discussed where my place is exactly, she didn't really say an "ok if it's close we can go", and didn't give any sort of indication that now she had decided to come for sure. So I simply held eye contact with her for a bit, to check where she is at mentally, and if she has made up her mind to come with me. At that moment I could feel a lot of sexual tension, and she asked me if I will just keep looking.

I think she meant if I would make a move for a kiss or not, because I could really feel both our desires at that moment, but I simply responded that I have made my invitation to get out of there.

Then I saw in her reaction with her body language that she was finally accepting it, and that's why I made the move to stand up and tell her let's go.

I wanted to mention this because I really was focused on taking her home at that moment, and didn't want to release any tension with a kiss, even though there was a really strong energy. My idea was showing her that if she wants more, she has to come with me.

And it really worked, I feel if I had given in my sexual urges to kiss her then, maybe the rest wouldn't have gone the same way. And in fact maybe creating this sexual tension, and implying that it would be left unreleased if we didn't go to my place, helped her to finally commit to the pull.

 

[Rakehell]

Hey man.

The moment I got out though I saw blood on the condom. I mentioned it and she said her period probably started, so I asked if we should stop and she said yes. I told her I'm sorry if I triggered something, and she asked to have a quick shower to which of course I said sure.

Then she came in I was checking something on the computer, she asked me, and I told her I was checking how to clean the blood from the sheets and if she knows. Probably a stupid thing to mention as it feels like I never had another period on my sheets. I told her that's one of the reasons I like not being a woman, she said she is sorry for the blood and I jokingly said that maybe I'll have her come here and brush it, to which she seriously responded no.

This is the only glaring thing to me.

It’s maybe the only part where your intentions weren’t in line with how you went about handling it. Everything else is water under the bridge since it worked for you when it did.

She wouldn’t have noticed she came on the rag until after you all were finished if it was good.

If it grosses you out enough to where you don’t want to continue then fine, but you should end it yourself and find a way to put her out.

Asking her if you should keep going telegraphs inexperience to her and unnecessarily leaves her feeling embarrassed. Which isn’t conducive to seeing her again if that’s what you wanted.

The googling was slightly insulting and the nail in the coffin.

Seems to me like you panicked and weren’t actually that bothered by the blood. You got stuck trying to find the “right” thing to do versus just doing what you felt like doing.

Not grossed out= No big deal, ignore
Grossed out= Cut it short, Offer an uber or whatever but ask her to leave on your terms

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Hey man.

This is the only glaring thing to me.

It’s maybe the only part where your intentions weren’t in line with how you went about handling it. Everything else is water under the bridge since it worked for you when it did.

She wouldn’t have noticed she came on the rag until after you all were finished if it was good.

If it grosses you out enough to where you don’t want to continue then fine, but you should end it yourself and find a way to put her out.

Asking her if you should keep going telegraphs inexperience to her and unnecessarily leaves her feeling embarrassed. Which isn’t conducive to seeing her again if that’s what you wanted.

The googling was slightly insulting and the nail in the coffin.

Seems to me like you panicked and weren’t actually that bothered by the blood. You got stuck trying to find the “right” thing to do versus just doing what you felt like doing.

Not grossed out= No big deal, ignore
Grossed out= Cut it short, Offer an uber or whatever but ask her to leave on your terms

I mean in the beginning I wasn't even sure what kind of blood it was, if the condom broke and it was my blood, or if it was bleeding due to rough sex, so I really wanted to let her know and ask if she feels alright. I guess period is normal, but can you simply assume that if she doesn't stop you herself, you can keep going no matter what you see down there without mentioning? I thought that if it's a health issue it's important for her to know.

And honestly, I do think I was grossed out a bit. Even though it was normal period, when I saw it on the condom I had a feeling of "eeww, do I want to continue like that now?".

Then some drops fell onto the bedsheets, and I was like: "Damn, now I also have to clean my bedsheets from blood". So let's say that I indeed wasn't very happy about it.

So you have a good point in that I should have said myself: "Let's just stop for now". Basically taking the lead and deciding what I feel like doing, and not throwing the ball at her.

And yeah I also didn't like mentioning the google thing now, but interesting you thought of it as insulting, didn't consider that. For me I simply felt that it showed inexperience, but is pretty normal to check this thing right away, since if you let the stain dry up it's way more difficult to take care of it later.

I did feel though that this whole ending was a bit off, that's why I tried to hug her close when she was waiting for the tram. So for the future we'll see, but it was an interesting experience anyway, I'll know how to handle similar situations better.

 

[Rakehell]

I guess period is normal, but can you simply assume that if she doesn't stop you herself, you can keep going no matter what you see down there without mentioning? I thought that if it's a health issue it's important for her to know.

Depends on what you yourself are comfortable with. Not gonna say you have to be okay with period sex if she “randomly” starts her cycle, personally I don’t care , but that may not be you. Save for f*ces or v*mit, generally it’s fine to ignore unless she seems like she’s in pain or you suspect an sti/std.

For the sake of strategy also have to consider how good the sex was up to that point, whether or not you and her felt satisfied, the ramifications of pausing, how you go about it. All play a role in what comes afterward.

If you wouldn’t mind seeing her again this stuff is something to be considered, if you don’t care either way then it doesn’t really matter.

And yeah I also didn't like mentioning the google thing now, but interesting you thought of it as insulting,

Maybe insulting wasn’t the best word choice but it could be somewhat of a turnoff if the sex wasn’t the best. I’d save it for after they’re gone.

Same goes for squirting, kind of have to act unbothered. Let her feel bad about it, so that she wants to make it up to you.

The sex is the meat and potatoes of the whole thing, got to ask whether or not she seems docile and feminine afterward, or distant and ready to leave.

Cutting it short, feeling grossed out, but communicating interest like everything's fine when its not really, sends mixed messages and alot of the power you should get from fucking her good is minimized.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

For the sake of strategy also have to consider how good the sex was up to that point, whether or not you and her felt satisfied, the ramifications of pausing, how you go about it. All play a role in what comes afterward.

If you wouldn’t mind seeing her again this stuff is something to be considered, if you don’t care either way then it doesn’t really matter.

I see what you mean. I feel none of us was really satisfied, at least that's how it seemed to me, so one of the reasons I didn't feel like continuing is to escape the awkwardness of going at it more.

Regarding about seeing her again, I wouldn't mind I guess, she didn't have anything off putting except for the fact that she seemed to not really be submitting during sex.

I mean if she tells me to lick softer because it gets painful it's fine, but in the end that she was telling me to make more noise because she cannot work like that in silence, it was pretty commanding and off putting. Also when I called her babe she was very dismissive telling me she is not my babe.

I will keep what you say though, for women that I would really want to see more. With her it's a bit like, it wouldn't be bad to have someone for regular sex, but also I don't care that much.

Maybe insulting wasn’t the best word choice but it could be somewhat of a turnoff if the sex wasn’t the best. I’d save it for after they’re gone.

Same goes for squirting, kind of have to act unbothered. Let her feel bad about it, so that she wants to make it up to you.

Got it. And for the squirting I wasn't really bothered, but more puzzled, because she did have some liquids flying out in very small bursts so I wasn't sure what it was exactly, and I asked. Mostly an inexperience thing of wanting to understand what happened to her body.

The sex is the meat and potatoes of the whole thing, got to ask whether or not she seems docile and feminine afterward, or distant and ready to leave.

Yeah she totally wasn't docile and feminine, more like I have to run. And I'm not stupid, I know it wasn't that good.

And the thing is that sex feels a lot like a gamble for me, I've had it pretty good other times, but I cannot really train it by myself. I guess the only thing I can do is take better care of my sexual health, which will deal with a lot of anxiety and erection problems as well.

Cutting it short, feeling grossed out, but communicating interest like everything's fine when its not really, sends mixed messages and alot of the power you should get from fucking her good is minimized.

I understand that. Not that I had much power like that to minimize here but it's a good thing to remember. I feel that my interest was more of an acknowledgement that: "I know it was a bit awkward, but it's fine, I still enjoyed you".

 

[gameboy]

but in the end that she was telling me to make more noise because she cannot work like that in silence, it was pretty commanding and off putting. Also when I called her babe she was very dismissive telling me she is not my babe.

When a girl behaves like that in bed I wouldn't want to see her again.

Especially if she leaves in a hurry right after! That sucks.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

When a girl behaves like that in bed I wouldn't want to see her again.

Especially if she leaves in a hurry right after! That sucks.

Yeah I won't blame her completely, I probably wasn't offering her the experience she wanted, so at some point she started feeling I am not a guy she would really want to submit to. But we were in the middle of sex and I was putting effort in so she was probably like let's roll with it.

Maybe if I did become more dominant and started manhandling her she would stop that, I mean she couldn't really speak with my cock in her mouth anyway, but the erection issues didn't let me be very dominant confidently.

So I accept my part of the situation fully. That said I do agree with your comment, it did suck.

Let's see the positive side though. I got a lay. I also unhooked her bra with one hand and felt like a boss. Next time we unhook the pussy as well, no big deal.

 

[gameboy]

Yep, plus one for the body count! And if she comes around again she'd better behave!

 

[Skills]

Good stuff!

I should also try approaching during the night. It always felt weird to me as a 40+ dude, but maybe its just a limiting belief.

It is

 

[Rakehell]

Regarding about seeing her again, I wouldn't mind I guess, she didn't have anything off putting except for the fact that she seemed to not really be submitting during sex.

I mean if she tells me to lick softer because it gets painful it's fine, but in the end that she was telling me to make more noise because she cannot work like that in silence, it was pretty commanding and off putting. Also when I called her babe she was very dismissive telling me she is not my babe.

Wouldn’t take it personally. Can assume going in that she has some quirks being that shes 34 and “single”.

But also have to calibrate to what she’s comfortable with. If they aren’t responding well to it, ease up, don’t give them too much of what should be a good thing.

On her telling you to make more noise, pretty much every girl likes this. I get how it can feel offputting since it feels like she’s telling you too, but then again she’s helping you out in a way because it might’ve been a blind spot for you.

It’s pretty hard to get dominated by someone you’re literally penetrating, so just take the ego hit, and talk to her, make noise, do it like you had a purpose for not making noise, can use it as an opportunity to get her more aroused and compliant, Doesn’t need to be a power struggle, she’s telling you what she needs to get off.

Pet names etc are a reward, so no need to give her that when she isn’t acting in a way that earns it. Don’t allow ego to get involved when they don’t accept. Wait till she’s moaning, or just orgasmed, really visually enjoying herself, and then you can callback to when she said No. “whod you say wasnt my girl?” stuff like that.

Got it. And for the squirting I wasn't really bothered, but more puzzled, because she did have some liquids flying out in very small bursts so I wasn't sure what it was exactly, and I asked. Mostly an inexperience thing of wanting to understand what happened to her body.

Yup just save the curiosity for after shes gone, she needs to feel like you already know and are in control.

Can also point it out and tell her how wet she is, even though you didn’t know exactly why.

And the thing is that sex feels a lot like a gamble for me, I've had it pretty good other times, but I cannot really train it by myself. I guess the only thing I can do is take better care of my sexual health, which will deal with a lot of anxiety and erection problems as well.

There are things you can work on, mostly educating yourself. Learning ways to get girls off beforehand, how to find what a specific girl likes, learning what most girls like universally.

And then troubleshooting after the act itself. It’s all mostly intuitive when you’re there in the moment just have to pay attention and be in the moment.

The ed problems etc seem to me to be all in your head man.

Either way you “still hit tho”, so it’s all good, don’t have to be putting up porn star stats, but I think you still want to have a good experience for both of you when alls said and done, “pickup” and “seduction” aside. Should feel good about what went down.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Wouldn’t take it personally. Can assume going in that she has some quirks being that shes 34 and “single”.

But also have to calibrate to what she’s comfortable with. If they aren’t responding well to it, ease up, don’t give them too much of what should be a good thing.

Yeah I get that, calibration is always important, and it makes sense that different girls would have different preferences in bed.

On her telling you to make more noise, pretty much every girl likes this. I get how it can feel offputting since it feels like she’s telling you too, but then again she’s helping you out in a way because it might’ve been a blind spot for you.

It’s pretty hard to get dominated by someone you’re literally penetrating, so just take the ego hit, and talk to her, make noise, do it like you had a purpose for not making noise, can use it as an opportunity to get her more aroused and compliant, Doesn’t need to be a power struggle, she’s telling you what she needs to get off.

Yeah I did that in fact. The first growl I made was so weird though, that she even told me not to do it like that but more normal. Then I think I got into some very good heavy breathing and we both enjoyed it for a bit.

The thing is that I do make some noice other times, or dirty talking. I think I was just too much inside my head thinking about my erection, how to keep it going that I disengaged from the sounds so she was right about that.

I've never made sounds during orgasms though, maybe I trained myself to stay silent while masturbating at home so that noone could hear, but also thought it's more of a woman thing. I guess I can be doing some heavy breathing when finishing to show I do enjoy it.

Pet names etc are a reward, so no need to give her that when she isn’t acting in a way that earns it. Don’t allow ego to get involved when they don’t accept. Wait till she’s moaning, or just orgasmed, really visually enjoying herself, and then you can callback to when she said No. “whod you say wasnt my girl?” stuff like that.

I love this approach.

There are things you can work on, mostly educating yourself. Learning ways to get girls off beforehand, how to find what a specific girl likes, learning what most girls like universally.

Yeah I feel I've seen videos or read articles, but then some time passes until the next sex and I kinda forget a lot. I do try to educate myself in general though sexually, checking also how to do things differently after I try something specific, and I will do it even more.

And then troubleshooting after the act itself. It’s all mostly intuitive when you’re there in the moment just have to pay attention and be in the moment.

True, the times it was the best I was just taking her, not thinking. In fact whenever I've felt good with my erection, and didn't have my mind there, I could flow very well in bed. And then even if something wasn't technically perfect, the experience would be great for both of us.

The ed problems etc seem to me to be all in your head man.

Could be. The thing is after I prematurely ejaculated once last year I started getting into my head a lot, it happened again few times and I started worrying it may become chronic or something. I was always quite easily aroused but could control it fairly well until then.

I do feel though that my general libido is also not at its best. I mean I'm rarely even masturbating really, because I rarely feel a sexual desire day to day or have a natural strong erection.

And it's not that when I go out I feel like a hungry beast seeking sexual prey. Only sporadically it will happen that I feel I really want sex, and have this killer instinct to close. Most other times I will like the woman and move through the seduction but without the primal desire intensely there.

And this is what I mean regarding improving sexual health. Managing to feel more naturally desiring sex, and not simply doing the approaches, dates and seductions because the girls are hot and I want to learn how to get sex with them.

I am sure it will also help me in enjoying the sex itself more and being less in my head, since I will clearly be in another place of my body that really wants something. At least whenever I was at my best sexually, it was a period where I would be having strong erections day to day, and would be masturbating up to the edge, without getting over it.

Either way you “still hit tho”, so it’s all good, don’t have to be putting up porn star stats, but I think you still want to have a good experience for both of you when alls said and done, “pickup” and “seduction” aside. Should feel good about what went down.

Yeah, I don't really care myself about a specific performance metric, more that we both really enjoy it, because that's why I am going through the whole seduction anyway. If I only cared about our spiritual enjoyment I could ask her to meditate with me, but I find sex so powerfully beautiful that I want to share all this bliss.