I've been trying a new way of approach on the street. I usually use direct openers, but I have to admit, it's still way to hard and almost all the time I refrain myself. I'm new to the game btw, and I've been using day and street game most of the time. I had a hard time talking to girls on clubs/bars before (AA) but so much day and street game has make it easier.
So, this is the new technique I've been using that has worked for me :
• Spot a girl you want to meet
• Get beside her: smoothly and ASAP (time is ticking!)
• No eye contact at all
• Find anything you would like to use for an opener: I find that using something that she is wearing works great (Once I used a girl's wide-fluffy pants). It's one of the easiest if you don't want to think about some situational opener (Once I didn't know how to open and I ended up using the traffic lights because the red light was taking so long). Of course you could use whatever you feel is great at that particular moment (a tattoo is an easy one: Just tell her is great. I guess, in some way, this is a direct opener as you are complimenting her on that, however, to me, it doesn't feel as a direct opener).
• Pre-open her: I've actually used this method without pre-opening but, you know, we should always do it!
• Deliver the opener
• Keep the conversation going: You should transition quickly from your opener to a conversation in the most natural way. Tip: Make some small talk about the thing you used to open her (then, transition to other topic).
• Compliment her: You should do this because you didn't use a direct opener. An easy one is to compliment her on the same thing you used to open her: "well, those african earrings look great on you!"
• Push forward or close: As usual, push things forward (a coffee, ice cream, etc.) or get her contact info and leave.
• Followed up message: An sms to break the ice.
One important thing: After you deliver the opener you could immediately say the compliment and then keep the conversation going. It's up to you.
Some pros:
• Way easier: Opening in the street with a direct opener is hard (especially for guys new to the street game). You have to chase her, pre open her, make her stop and deliver the opener. I've done it way before opening girls in clubs/bars: It is hard.
• Girls are open to continue talking: Because you open her in a way that is natural, you stand as a social, confident guy who is not scared to talk to a girl. Of course, at first she might be talking to you just for being polite, so, being said that, it's utterly important that you compliment her so she knows you like her and you weren't just being social. Make her know that.
Some cons:
• She is walking: She might go to store, take a cab, bus, before you both have connected and then she says bye. She might quicken her pace if you don't continue the flow of the interaction. You don't want to follow her if she starts doing this. And I wouldn't advice on telling her that you will join her if she goes to a store or something. If you haven't made a connection with her, she will feel uncomfortable/awkard that you want to follow her
Note: Remember, is not a good idea to follow a girl even when you made a connection. You should try to make her follow you. Don't change your plans for her. If you have no plans, the same: Don't follow her. You are a busy man. You always have things to do. Get her contact info and leave.
• You don't use a direct opener: I know direct openers is the way to go. So, in some way is a disadvantage not to use it but in this technique you shouldn't use one. This is because of the "Law of Least Effort": If there is a girl right next to you on the subway you wouldn't use a direct opener( too much effort/investment on your part). You would use a situational opener and then compliment her soon in the interaction. On the other hand, if a girl passes you on the street and you chase after her, it would be completely weird to use other than a direct opener.
• Less time to make a connection: Because you are walking, the time might be really short (or not). If you don't make a connection pretty fast she might get to her bus stop, to her place, or just say goodbye to you. Rule of thumb: You should always think you have very little amount of time to build a connection.
• You will lose some girls: How fast you make a connection also depends on the girl (ie: her mood at that particular moment). So, even knowing you have a time constraint, sometimes you might not be able to connect quickly enough with someone walking.
Cheers!
So, this is the new technique I've been using that has worked for me :
• Spot a girl you want to meet
• Get beside her: smoothly and ASAP (time is ticking!)
• No eye contact at all
• Find anything you would like to use for an opener: I find that using something that she is wearing works great (Once I used a girl's wide-fluffy pants). It's one of the easiest if you don't want to think about some situational opener (Once I didn't know how to open and I ended up using the traffic lights because the red light was taking so long). Of course you could use whatever you feel is great at that particular moment (a tattoo is an easy one: Just tell her is great. I guess, in some way, this is a direct opener as you are complimenting her on that, however, to me, it doesn't feel as a direct opener).
• Pre-open her: I've actually used this method without pre-opening but, you know, we should always do it!
• Deliver the opener
• Keep the conversation going: You should transition quickly from your opener to a conversation in the most natural way. Tip: Make some small talk about the thing you used to open her (then, transition to other topic).
• Compliment her: You should do this because you didn't use a direct opener. An easy one is to compliment her on the same thing you used to open her: "well, those african earrings look great on you!"
• Push forward or close: As usual, push things forward (a coffee, ice cream, etc.) or get her contact info and leave.
• Followed up message: An sms to break the ice.
One important thing: After you deliver the opener you could immediately say the compliment and then keep the conversation going. It's up to you.
Some pros:
• Way easier: Opening in the street with a direct opener is hard (especially for guys new to the street game). You have to chase her, pre open her, make her stop and deliver the opener. I've done it way before opening girls in clubs/bars: It is hard.
• Girls are open to continue talking: Because you open her in a way that is natural, you stand as a social, confident guy who is not scared to talk to a girl. Of course, at first she might be talking to you just for being polite, so, being said that, it's utterly important that you compliment her so she knows you like her and you weren't just being social. Make her know that.
Some cons:
• She is walking: She might go to store, take a cab, bus, before you both have connected and then she says bye. She might quicken her pace if you don't continue the flow of the interaction. You don't want to follow her if she starts doing this. And I wouldn't advice on telling her that you will join her if she goes to a store or something. If you haven't made a connection with her, she will feel uncomfortable/awkard that you want to follow her
Note: Remember, is not a good idea to follow a girl even when you made a connection. You should try to make her follow you. Don't change your plans for her. If you have no plans, the same: Don't follow her. You are a busy man. You always have things to do. Get her contact info and leave.
• You don't use a direct opener: I know direct openers is the way to go. So, in some way is a disadvantage not to use it but in this technique you shouldn't use one. This is because of the "Law of Least Effort": If there is a girl right next to you on the subway you wouldn't use a direct opener( too much effort/investment on your part). You would use a situational opener and then compliment her soon in the interaction. On the other hand, if a girl passes you on the street and you chase after her, it would be completely weird to use other than a direct opener.
• Less time to make a connection: Because you are walking, the time might be really short (or not). If you don't make a connection pretty fast she might get to her bus stop, to her place, or just say goodbye to you. Rule of thumb: You should always think you have very little amount of time to build a connection.
• You will lose some girls: How fast you make a connection also depends on the girl (ie: her mood at that particular moment). So, even knowing you have a time constraint, sometimes you might not be able to connect quickly enough with someone walking.
Cheers!