Street situation, let me know what I did wrong

[mella]

Hi this is a question mainly for Chase but anyone else is welcome too. Chase, I read your article titled “How to be Street Smart & Handle Life Threatening Situations”. I was in a little situation not long ago. I was walking through the part of my city which is the absolute worst. It’s like ground zero. When I go I’m the only white guy there and I’m not familiar with the way things go in that part of town. Well, the area is a pretty busy one, like a typical NYC main street, with a lot of stores but also a lot of dope pushers standing around on the sidewalks. I was doing pretty good until this little thug-looking drug dealer caught me off guard. Reading the article, I noticed a couple things I did wrong. I’d appreciate your feedback.

Ok so it was about 1:00 PM on a weekday. There’s a certain stretch of the street where it’s impossible to walk through without encountering like 15 pushers along the way, who are always gang members as well. There’s like 15 of them in the span of 75 feet or so. Some of them joke with you as you walk past, some don’t. Some are the unfriendly kind. I’m a fast walker in general, I never walk slow because my mind is the kind that likes to think fast and rapidly and thus my walk is a reflection of that. So I was walking fast, and I wasn’t dressed “white” but not particularly “thug” either. I'm not very intimidating, I'm 5'6 and 150, with no tattoos. I walked past a stretch of sidewalk and as I approached, a couple dealers saw me from about 30 feet away and joked about me to each other, which I could hear was about me but couldn’t make out exactly what they said. There was one of them, judging by his voice I think probably in his late teens, with a ninja mask on and was wearing a winter jacket in the summer (probably cause he had a fucking uzi underneath). He approached me and asked me “Do you smoke?” Not in a screaming voice but in a very commanding type of voice, like he’s the one in charge of the street. I was caught off guard and got a little frightened, so I didn’t say anything but just shook my head no and kept on walking, looking straight ahead & not at him. He was turned towards me, and then a couple seconds later he said “Support the business, man!” I said nothing in reply to that either. Then I kept walking and he said to me, also in a commanding sort of tone “This is ____ Street! This is ____Street!” . He took several steps towards me as he was saying that, which made me really think that he was about to start following me, but he didn’t. When I walked about 20 more feet, I looked over my shoulder and he wasn’t following me. He was just standing around the same spot he was in before, looking for customers. But I feel that I fucked up, because I didn’t say anything back to him. And I did feel fear so that’s not good. But I didn’t really know what the best response would have been. I didn’t want to be too aggressive or confrontational, which I figured would invite violence. What’s your suggestions? And do you think he had something harmful on his mind for me?

 

[topcat]

Hi this is a question mainly for Chase but anyone else is welcome too. Chase, I read your article titled “How to be Street Smart & Handle Life Threatening Situations”. I was in a little situation not long ago. I was walking through the part of my city which is the absolute worst. It’s like ground zero. When I go I’m the only white guy there and I’m not familiar with the way things go in that part of town. Well, the area is a pretty busy one, like a typical NYC main street, with a lot of stores but also a lot of dope pushers standing around on the sidewalks. I was doing pretty good until this little thug-looking drug dealer caught me off guard. Reading the article, I noticed a couple things I did wrong. I’d appreciate your feedback.

Ok so it was about 1:00 PM on a weekday. There’s a certain stretch of the street where it’s impossible to walk through without encountering like 15 pushers along the way, who are always gang members as well. There’s like 15 of them in the span of 75 feet or so. Some of them joke with you as you walk past, some don’t. Some are the unfriendly kind. I’m a fast walker in general, I never walk slow because my mind is the kind that likes to think fast and rapidly and thus my walk is a reflection of that. So I was walking fast, and I wasn’t dressed “white” but not particularly “thug” either. I'm not very intimidating, I'm 5'6 and 150, with no tattoos. I walked past a stretch of sidewalk and as I approached, a couple dealers saw me from about 30 feet away and joked about me to each other, which I could hear was about me but couldn’t make out exactly what they said. There was one of them, judging by his voice I think probably in his late teens, with a ninja mask on and was wearing a winter jacket in the summer (probably cause he had a fucking uzi underneath). He approached me and asked me “Do you smoke?” Not in a screaming voice but in a very commanding type of voice, like he’s the one in charge of the street. I was caught off guard and got a little frightened, so I didn’t say anything but just shook my head no and kept on walking, looking straight ahead & not at him. He was turned towards me, and then a couple seconds later he said “Support the business, man!” I said nothing in reply to that either. Then I kept walking and he said to me, also in a commanding sort of tone “This is ____ Street! This is ____Street!” . He took several steps towards me as he was saying that, which made me really think that he was about to start following me, but he didn’t. When I walked about 20 more feet, I looked over my shoulder and he wasn’t following me. He was just standing around the same spot he was in before, looking for customers. But I feel that I fucked up, because I didn’t say anything back to him. And I did feel fear so that’s not good. But I didn’t really know what the best response would have been. I didn’t want to be too aggressive or confrontational, which I figured would invite violence. What’s your suggestions? And do you think he had something harmful on his mind for me?

It’s not really a big deal. You didn’t get jumped so it’s fine. It’s probably best not to show fear but it would be worse to show over the top friendliness and stop for them.

I get this all the time from “thuggish” types. they always ask if i smoke weed, or if i have a lighter or rolling papers. Sometimes i think they are generally seeking new business but other times it feels as though they’re casing me out (is he an easy mark or not worth the trouble?). I always respond with “nah sorry g” perhaps a slight knowing smile (signal in-group status) and keep it moving. Don’t ever stop for them though..

 

[climbingup]

Hi this is a question mainly for Chase but anyone else is welcome too. Chase, I read your article titled “How to be Street Smart & Handle Life Threatening Situations”. I was in a little situation not long ago. I was walking through the part of my city which is the absolute worst. It’s like ground zero. When I go I’m the only white guy there and I’m not familiar with the way things go in that part of town. Well, the area is a pretty busy one, like a typical NYC main street, with a lot of stores but also a lot of dope pushers standing around on the sidewalks. I was doing pretty good until this little thug-looking drug dealer caught me off guard. Reading the article, I noticed a couple things I did wrong. I’d appreciate your feedback.

Ok so it was about 1:00 PM on a weekday. There’s a certain stretch of the street where it’s impossible to walk through without encountering like 15 pushers along the way, who are always gang members as well. There’s like 15 of them in the span of 75 feet or so. Some of them joke with you as you walk past, some don’t. Some are the unfriendly kind. I’m a fast walker in general, I never walk slow because my mind is the kind that likes to think fast and rapidly and thus my walk is a reflection of that. So I was walking fast, and I wasn’t dressed “white” but not particularly “thug” either. I'm not very intimidating, I'm 5'6 and 150, with no tattoos. I walked past a stretch of sidewalk and as I approached, a couple dealers saw me from about 30 feet away and joked about me to each other, which I could hear was about me but couldn’t make out exactly what they said. There was one of them, judging by his voice I think probably in his late teens, with a ninja mask on and was wearing a winter jacket in the summer (probably cause he had a fucking uzi underneath). He approached me and asked me “Do you smoke?” Not in a screaming voice but in a very commanding type of voice, like he’s the one in charge of the street. I was caught off guard and got a little frightened, so I didn’t say anything but just shook my head no and kept on walking, looking straight ahead & not at him. He was turned towards me, and then a couple seconds later he said “Support the business, man!” I said nothing in reply to that either. Then I kept walking and he said to me, also in a commanding sort of tone “This is ____ Street! This is ____Street!” . He took several steps towards me as he was saying that, which made me really think that he was about to start following me, but he didn’t. When I walked about 20 more feet, I looked over my shoulder and he wasn’t following me. He was just standing around the same spot he was in before, looking for customers. But I feel that I fucked up, because I didn’t say anything back to him. And I did feel fear so that’s not good. But I didn’t really know what the best response would have been. I didn’t want to be too aggressive or confrontational, which I figured would invite violence. What’s your suggestions? And do you think he had something harmful on his mind for me?

Not a big deal at all. He was just trying his luck

 

[StrayDog]

I’m a fast walker in general, I never walk slow because my mind is the kind that likes to think fast and rapidly and thus my walk is a reflection of that.

Just like the other guys said, you didn't really do anything wrong. That guy was just trying to hawk his wares. All is well that ends well.

That said, I highly recommend you start practicing the power of the slow walk. Not only for wandering through bad neighborhoods like Chase mentioned in the article you read, but also (read:especially) for seduction. Once you tap into the slow walk you will be amazed at how the world presents itself to you in an entirely new light. Crucial for seduction. Crucial. Benefits include (but not limited to)
-you stand out as sexy, confident, intriguing, and present
-you catch the attention of very available ladies, and will receive IOIs and AIs
-You will be more in you environment and able to understand the lay of the land (who is around, best places to sit/walk, best angles of approach, and so on)
-You create more opportunities to meet women as you are not just passing them by with haste
-You will slow your thinking and be able to make more strategic approaches.
-You will approach and leave sets with more presence and gusto.
-After a set you will have more time and space to reflect on how the whole thing went.

 

[mella]

Just like the other guys said, you didn't really do anything wrong. That guy was just trying to hawk his wares. All is well that ends well.

That said, I highly recommend you start practicing the power of the slow walk. Not only for wandering through bad neighborhoods like Chase mentioned in the article you read, but also (read:especially) for seduction. Once you tap into the slow walk you will be amazed at how the world presents itself to you in an entirely new light. Crucial for seduction. Crucial. Benefits include (but not limited to)
-you stand out as sexy, confident, intriguing, and present
-you catch the attention of very available ladies, and will receive IOIs and AIs
-You will be more in you environment and able to understand the lay of the land (who is around, best places to sit/walk, best angles of approach, and so on)
-You create more opportunities to meet women as you are not just passing them by with haste
-You will slow your thinking and be able to make more strategic approaches.
-You will approach and leave sets with more presence and gusto.
-After a set you will have more time and space to reflect on how the whole thing went.

I see, thanks. Yeah, I've tried slowing my mind down like that a few times in my life, it really does work, but it's hard for me to be consistently that way. I remember when I walked out the door with that sort of mentality, I could think of a lot of cool things to say to women and these thoughts would come pretty effortlessly to my mind. Presently, I can sort of make it work if I FORCE myself to be present, but I can't seem to figure out how to change myself from within so that that mentality becomes the norm for me on a daily basis. Matter of fact I once heard someone on another site mention Tolle's book, is that something you recommend? If you know who I am talking about.

 

[StrayDog]

I see, thanks. Yeah, I've tried slowing my mind down like that a few times in my life, it really does work, but it's hard for me to be consistently that way. I remember when I walked out the door with that sort of mentality, I could think of a lot of cool things to say to women and these thoughts would come pretty effortlessly to my mind. Presently, I can sort of make it work if I FORCE myself to be present, but I can't seem to figure out how to change myself from within so that that mentality becomes the norm for me on a daily basis. Matter of fact I once heard someone on another site mention Tolle's book, is that something you recommend? If you know who I am talking about.

I'm gonna start answering your question by highlighting that you don't have to have your head totally clear to practice a solid present slow walk. Just slow down and try to move naturally. After enough practice, you will get into a flow. Just take your time and notice your surroundings. Go on recreational walks just for the fun of it and just pace yourself. No need to overthink it. Kind of just fake it till you make it. If you notice yourself walking super fast and lost in thought just slow your pace and be aware of your environment. Admire the mundane details of life, like the trees and people and architecture and such.

Everybody has their own path to reaching a more clear-headed state and what works for some doesn't work as well for others. Some have spiritual practices or come at things from a philosophical point of view. That can be helpful, but I have always approached the mind from a more body-oriented angle. I tend to see the whole endeavor as something holistic and have done a lot of different practices. Meditation has been helpful for me, but not as much as having a strong body care routine. Heavy exercises like lifting, practices that focus more on movements like dance and martial arts, and restorative practices for unwinding stress and tension patterns like yoga and taichi. Doing these things regularly keeps my mind sharp and clear.

There are 5 things in particular though that have worked better than anything else in clearing my head and helping me be more present.

-The first might sound surprising: Diet. What food we eat, and how consume affects our body and mind greatly. There are actually tons of studies that show that depression is very closely related to the sort of bacteria we have in our gut. Consuming the wrong foods for our personal constitution and physiology, create all sorts of imbalances that manifest in our thinking. Most people don't stop to think that maybe their anger, or spaciness, or sadness, and so on, come from their diet. How much we eat, and when we eat is part of the whole system as well. It takes a lot of hard work, discipline, and trial and error, but getting this part of one's life down is fundamental to well-being.

-The next thing that has helped me in ways I never could have imagined until I started doing it regularly is the Wim Hof Breathing method. I have been considering making a post on this and maybe I will jump on that soon. This breathing technique is such a potent method for regulating the entire mind-body system and inducing profound states of presence and calm. It blasts through layers of anxiety, depression, trauma, both physical and mental. I had lower back pain that plague me for years, it went away soon after I started practicing this technique. I do 4 rounds every morning, first thing, and there is no better way to start the day (In my opinion, of course)

Other breathing techniques designed to calm the system work wonders as well

-Next up: cold showers/ ice baths. As well as hot cold therapy. There is a world of research out there that shows just how beneficial these practices are. Just like the Breathing technique. These things have a profound ability to turn your mind and body around immediately and get everything centered and regulated.

-Regular, healthy, restorative sleep. Crucial

-The final thing that helps me be present is being on top of my daily projects. Having all my ducks in a row and not having a ton of unfinished tasks weighing me down.

These are the things that have worked for me. You'll have to find your own path.

Just to tie it all into the original subject of your post. I believe that being strong, embodied, and present is one of the greatest forms of self-defense in that it allows you to avoid predatory people in the first place. Our body has innate wisdom and intuition and when we are in touch with that it can really guide us in the right direction. Also, predatory people are looking for easy targets. Strong, embodied, and present individuals are not the first on the list for them.

 

[Will_V]

Just like the other guys said, you didn't really do anything wrong. That guy was just trying to hawk his wares. All is well that ends well.

That said, I highly recommend you start practicing the power of the slow walk. Not only for wandering through bad neighborhoods like Chase mentioned in the article you read, but also (read:especially) for seduction. Once you tap into the slow walk you will be amazed at how the world presents itself to you in an entirely new light. Crucial for seduction. Crucial. Benefits include (but not limited to)
-you stand out as sexy, confident, intriguing, and present
-you catch the attention of very available ladies, and will receive IOIs and AIs
-You will be more in you environment and able to understand the lay of the land (who is around, best places to sit/walk, best angles of approach, and so on)
-You create more opportunities to meet women as you are not just passing them by with haste
-You will slow your thinking and be able to make more strategic approaches.
-You will approach and leave sets with more presence and gusto.
-After a set you will have more time and space to reflect on how the whole thing went.

Fully agree on the benefits of slow, sexy walk in general, it's a point of pride for me and I've gotten many compliments for it.

However I don't think in this situation (walking past drug dealers) it's a good move. Part of the reason it's seductive is that it grabs attention and sucks people in toward you. And in a sense it's a provocative (or at least evocative) so, depending on who he is and what mood he's in, it may get a guy's hackles up.

I lived in Sao Paulo for a year, it's not the most dangerous place in the world (not like Rio at least) but it has plenty of no-go areas that I often didn't know until someone pointed them out. I developed an instinctive mode for when I was in a potentially dangerous situation. And it basically boils down to 'walk like you've got business to carry out'. Not super fast, but an energetic, focused, disciplined stride that looks like it knows exactly where it is going and why. And another very important thing, never let your attention be visibly captured by anyone, or they will try to keep it (or at least, you may not be able to remove it easily).

I used to spend a lot of time in the night life there visiting seedy clubs in all kinds of areas, walking down all kinds of streets. At the time I was training kickboxing and also had a sense of invincibility, and didn't care too much for following anyone else's rules.

I got stares and several times was followed, but never got mugged, although several of my friends did (one of them three times in different areas), even though they didn't do half the stuff I was doing. I walked once through a gang of about ten guys who strung themselves out along the street like some kind of army. It was (kind of) stupid but I went straight down the middle, instinctively knowing that if I skirted around they'd sense I was afraid. I didn't look back to see what they thought of that, just kept walking like I had shit to do.

The only time I ever got mugged was when the entire bus I was on was held up - the route was known to be a bad one but again I didn't care to avoid risk at the time.

So that's my advice, walk like you've got stuff to do, but not necessarily in an intimidating way - like you have focus and momentum that's going to be hard to counter. The guy who got mugged thrice used to have a wandering walk, and poor eyesight made him have a sort of wide-eyed, head swivelling body language, just like a tourist (which he was). So I always made sure I did everything not to look like one, especially in risky situations.

 

[StrayDog]

Fully agree on the benefits of slow, sexy walk in general, it's a point of pride for me and I've gotten many compliments for it.

However I don't think in this situation (walking past drug dealers) it's a good move. Part of the reason it's seductive is that it grabs attention and sucks people in toward you. And in a sense it's a provocative (or at least evocative) so, depending on who he is and what mood he's in, it may get a guy's hackles up.

Fair enough. I may have gotten hung up (and sidetracked) on slow walking because the way he described his walk sounded like maybe it was hurried and not entirely present. Which can actually make someone an easy target. The advice of course is not to practice a seductive walk through skid row. Seductive walk and bad neighborhood walk are two separate things. I think being present and not hurried can do wonders in these types of places though. Rushing through a place like that can really make you stand out. Definitely agree that you want to look like you have somewhere you are going and move with a sense of purpose. Lingering can be just as bad as rushing.

 

[Rakehell]

I grew up in one of the worst parts of one of the murder capital’s of america at the time.

You gotta realize that alot of these guy’s have sociopathic tendencies so it’s fine to be a little on guard around them. You also made the right call by not getting too involved in the dialogue.

What other’s said about slowing down is true. If you’re moving slowly, it means you don’t feel like there’s a need to move fast. Guy’s like those prey on the weak. If you can’t make eye contact, if your voice gets weak or shaky, if you don’t walk with strong posture, if you come off as trying to get away, you’re more likely to be a target.

But at the same time they move in groups, and none of us are one man armies, so all of that could mean nothing on the wrong day. Mutual respect goes a long way in those types of situations, if they recognize you as not being intimidated by their presence alone they tend to respect that. They usually respect heart.

You can’t over-do it though, as they’re also easily disrespected. Alot of times those situations are lose lose so it’s best to do what gets you out of there in one piece if they decide for whatever reason to hone in on you.

 

[Will_V]

Fair enough. I may have gotten hung up (and sidetracked) on slow walking because the way he described his walk sounded like maybe it was hurried and not entirely present. Which can actually make someone an easy target. The advice of course is not to practice a seductive walk through skid row. Seductive walk and bad neighborhood walk are two separate things. I think being present and not hurried can do wonders in these types of places though. Rushing through a place like that can really make you stand out. Definitely agree that you want to look like you have somewhere you are going and move with a sense of purpose. Lingering can be just as bad as rushing.

Yes agreed, definitely don't want to rush it either. The idea is to look purposeful rather than fearful.

Being present is always a good idea, even more than that it's important to look alert. People plotting stuff often bank on having an unsuspecting victim (which most people are) but if they know that you are well aware of them they won't make a move - it's easier just to wait for the next one.

For example I was followed one time for at least 3 or 4 blocks (I know because I did a couple of turns). The guy hung back about a block or so. I went round a corner, walked to the end of the block and turned around and stood there facing back. He came around the far corner and was so surprised to see me facing back down the street that he pretended to stop and hang for a bit even though there was nothing there. Needless to say he quickly disappeared after that.

The least attractive victim is someone who not only looks capable of retaliation but knows how to deter without just being the fastest to escalate or the most aggressive. Because these people can't be maneuvered into an emotional corner or easily forced to do something that isn't in their best interests.

 

[mella]

Yes agreed, definitely don't want to rush it either. The idea is to look purposeful rather than fearful.

Being present is always a good idea, even more than that it's important to look alert. People plotting stuff often bank on having an unsuspecting victim (which most people are) but if they know that you are well aware of them they won't make a move - it's easier just to wait for the next one.

For example I was followed one time for at least 3 or 4 blocks (I know because I did a couple of turns). The guy hung back about a block or so. I went round a corner, walked to the end of the block and turned around and stood there facing back. He came around the far corner and was so surprised to see me facing back down the street that he pretended to stop and hang for a bit even though there was nothing there. Needless to say he quickly disappeared after that.

The least attractive victim is someone who not only looks capable of retaliation but knows how to deter without just being the fastest to escalate or the most aggressive. Because these people can't be maneuvered into an emotional corner or easily forced to do something that isn't in their best interests.

I feel you on the alertness part. For example, I once walked into a foot locker in one of those very run down places and there was a guy standing there, browsing through clothes racks, and he was just wearing regular guy clothes. I came in with some shoes in a bag, wanting to make a return and the people working there were in the back getting a pair of shoes for someone. This guy, standing there in just street clothes, asked me if I was making a return and I said yeah. Then he told me to put the shoes down on the counter. To which I replied "Who are you?" The message being - I'll put my shoes down when I feel like it. He then asked me, "What do you think I don't work here? You think I'm trying to take your shoes?" I said, "where's your uniform?" To which he said nothing. But then the clerk came and all was well. Turned out he did work there. It's just in those places often times the management is so lax that I guess they don't care if guys work there without those silly looking uniforms which they probably consider to be too "uncool". But I was proud of myself for being smart. He could have been a crackhead for all I know, who wandered into there and wanted me to put down my shoes so he could snatch them and take off. And I ain't no track star.

 

[HumanWhoLearns]

I don't blame you for how you handled that situation, I probably would've done the same. I will say that I've noticed the faster I walk, the more tense and anxious I become. Breathing becomes shallower, muscles tighten up. Whenever I take slow walks I'm more present and relaxed, a calmer nervous system. I suspect that may be why the slower walk is more attractive to women and is preached here.