PEOPLE
Me: age 30 Asian, work in finance, was wearing a good fitting button down, chino shorts, and flip flops
Her: age 29 Black, from Kenya, wearing a very fashionable summer dress, shoes, and very stylish dreadlocks with highlights
BACKGROUND
My schedule's been pretty full recently, with 2 girls on rotation, a lot of social events, and busy at work. So I hadn't really been approaching the week or two. I was meeting a friend for dinner, and decided to get to the location 5 minutes early, and force myself to get some approaches in. Approached one Asian girl, who wasn't receptive, and kept walking around.
THE MEET
On the street right outside the restaurant I was supposed to meet my friend, I spot a very stylish black girl walking along. I walk quickly to catch up with her, but then we're crossing a busy intersection. I keep pace behind her, and open her from the side just a few paces after she reaches the sidewalk. I say "hi, your outfit is *really* stylish" (genuine). She responds "wow thank you" very warmly. I ask "do you work in fashion?". She responds "no, I work in publishing". I say something like that's a cool industry.
I soon ask her "you're not from here right?" (I usually try to cold-read guess where girls are from. But she's clearly from Africa, and I don't know the cultural intricacies enough, and don't want to offend her by guessing if she's from some random African country that is offensive to her). She tells me she's from Nairobi, Kenya. We continue chatting about travels, and what we're up to today, and I give her some more compliments about her hair, and her outfit.
THE CLOSE
After about 45 seconds, we reach the end of the intersection, and she says "well, I'm turning over here....... it was nice to meet you". It's clear to me that she wants this to go further, but this doesn't happen to her often, so she's unsure of what to do. I save her
by casually saying "hey, do you want to exchange numbers, maybe get a coffee sometime?", to which she very warmly says yes to.
FOLLOWUP
I text her immediately after "hey ____, wonderful to have met enjoy your drinks with friends". She responds immediately with "The feeling was mutual. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face. Enjoy your dinner" (which is a fairly warm followup to an icebreaker)
I text a day later asking her how her dinner went, and try to arrange a date to followup (this is Friday). She responds she's free Tuesday (4 days later). We send a few short texts back/forth, and arrange to meet at a Wine bar after work, and then we don't text much until the first date.
FIRST DATE
We meet at the wine bar, she's wearing a stylish business/casual fusion outfit. She warmly hugs me and smiles when I arrive. Honestly the conversation is slightly stilted at first. But eventually we chat about vibes, and how we met, and how it's boring to stay in the same place and only hang out with the same type of people, and we connect a bit more. I suggest we bounce, and she agrees. I put my card down when the bill comes, and she takes out her wallet, and I don't tell her "no, I got this", which indicates I'm fine with her splitting. Then she says "let's try something different", and she gives me my card back, and pays the whole $90 bill herself. I casually say "okay, I'll get the next one".
We bounce to a asian steamed bun place nearby, order some food, eat, I pay ($35 bill). We start walking back. I make a casual offer for her to come to my place to have some watermelon, she's not entirely opposed to the idea, but I can sense her hesitation due to it being a weeknight, and her needing to do some public transit travel to get back to her place. So instead, we kiss goodbye. The kiss goodbye without sex has sort of blown up on me in the past, but it seemed.... okay here.
SECOND DATE
Before the second date, I'm a bit exhausted honestly. Had a girl over Thursday morning, a different one Thursday night, then Thursday morning girl was over again on Friday all night, and she stayed until 1 hour before this second date.
We meet again at a cheese store the following Saturday in the afternoon(4 days later), because she wanted to find some quality Parmesan. She's wearing a pretty light colored summer dress that contrasts well with her skin. We quickly bounce to a pita wrap place, then a taco place. Then I suggest we walk along this elevated city walkway with beautiful views (that terminates in the neighborhood of my apartment). Then we get ice cream in the neighborhood.
The vibe was pretty average. She's clearly kind of interested in me, but not super interested, and our connection is okay, but not amazing. She does make some pretty good hints along the way. As we're walking along the walkway, we talk about people who's apartments are facing the walkway directly, and "what if I want to have sex with my partner? There's no privacy".
At some point during the date I ask her what's her plan for today. She says she's "going with the flow", which is code word for "I've cleared my schedule for you today".
PULL
After ice cream, she says "what's next?". I suggest we "get that watermelon", and eat it on my apartment rooftop, with some drinks, which she easily agrees to.
ESCALATION
Back at my place, there's no need to go to the rooftop. I do make her a cocktail, and serve watermelon. Then we kiss (first time for this second date. I know not to make the mistake of kissing too early on a second date even if we kissed previously on the first date). Then we're on top of each other, and feeling each other up.
She says some things like "I don't want to have sex tonight", to which I do my standard "of course, I don't want to either, I'm just enjoying your presence here" (and then continue to escalate soon after).
The final shit test is really funny. She sits me up on the couch, then gets up, and starts pacing back and forth in front of me, like a lawyer prosecuting the accused. She asks me:
What do you want from me?
A) a quick fuck?
B) TBD
C) just going with the flow
D) Other
I answer by teasing her that she's like a lawyer prosecuting me, and then I tease her that choices B/C are basically the same thing, and just generally keep a smile ongoing, and keep my responses lighthearted. Eventually I finally answer that it's C, how can we know what this is going to be like on just the second date? She seems to like this response, and jumps on top of me.
Then she sort of half-tests me again by explaining that she doesn't like it when guys have sex and never talk to her again. She then tells me "I'm saving myself for marriage". I then tease her "wow, that's so risky. What if he's terrible in bed, or has a small dick or something, then you're stuck with THAT forever". I pass the final test, and she melts into me, and there's no more LMR.
We move to the bedroom, and take all our clothes off.
Because I had had so much sex over the last 48 hours, I honestly had trouble maintaining an erection, the first time this has happened to me. And I was honestly getting worried that this was going to fail for such a DUMBFUCK reason when I had made it so far due to my skill. Although this has never happened to me before, I've read other lay reports where the girl goes into super-immediate-auto-rejection when they see the guy doesn't have an erection, because they think it means he's not physically attracted to her.
I go from hard-soft-hard-soft throughout. And when we're both totally naked on my bed, I think she says something that takes my mind off sex briefly, and I totally lose my erection. I try to hide it from her, and I keep fingering her, and kissing her, and after about 5-7 minutes, my erection finally comes back, and I quickly grab a condom and seal the deal.
Sex is decent. She has a left nipple piercing, which is pretty new to me.
AFTER SEX
I don't pressure her to leave or anything, but she's already on her way out to head to someone else's housewarming event. She asks me to help her tie her dress, and I make a casual remark that I'm good at tying, which leads us to a discussion about BDSM, and I show her my ropes before she leaves.
KEYS TO THE LAY
- not getting butthurt when she refused my pull-home on the first date. Honestly I didn't care too too much. I knew I had 2 other girls I was for sure having sex with this week. And I was honestly tired on that weekday. So me not making her rejection a big deal made her very eager to come out for a second date.
- Also, "not persisting" was probably the right move here at the end of the first date. We were both pretty low energy, and it was a weeknight, and she had poor logistics for getting home. On a previous fuck-up, I persisted hard to get her home on that first date, which really turned her off, because I went from "sexy and cool" to "pushy and needy". What I did instead was continuing to joke about how good my watermelon was, which ended up being an inside joke that helped get her back to my place on the second date.
- passing her tests with teasing and a light heart. I think previous me, when encountering such a serious test, would become equally serious, and try to indicate how much I truly care about her? New me just treats her behavior as "silly and cute", which is exactly the way to pass these tests.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
- Another pretty text book seduction, from day-game cold approach meet, to sex. The only real non-ideal handling of it, was that it took 2 dates for sex, rather than 1. Looking back, the only way I can think of to make sex happen on date 1, would have been to push the first date back to Friday/Saturday (7-8 days after I got her number). But then I'd be dealing with attraction-expiration-date, and who knows what other guy might swoop in during those few extra days. So I made a hedge to meet her as early as possible, and know that maybe this will just be a "keep the oven warm" date.
- First sex with a black girl
- First sex with a girl from Africa
- I do want to see her again, maybe try some rope bondage
- Recently, girls have been offering to pay for my dates much more often. Meeting them through Cold Approach instead of dating apps certainly helps set a better frame. I also suspect I'm beginning to acquire abundance mentality, which is subtly shifting the way I present myself and talk, which is starting to make girls WANT to impress me, because they suspect I'm "a catch" who can easily replace her.
- This is the capstone after 3 days of non-stop sex with 3 different girls. Tonight, I'm going to rest alone (my dick literally cannot get hard anymore). And tomorrow, I have nothing planned, and plan to get some solid Cold Approach in again after not doing so for awhile.
Me: age 30 Asian, work in finance, was wearing a good fitting button down, chino shorts, and flip flops
Her: age 29 Black, from Kenya, wearing a very fashionable summer dress, shoes, and very stylish dreadlocks with highlights
BACKGROUND
My schedule's been pretty full recently, with 2 girls on rotation, a lot of social events, and busy at work. So I hadn't really been approaching the week or two. I was meeting a friend for dinner, and decided to get to the location 5 minutes early, and force myself to get some approaches in. Approached one Asian girl, who wasn't receptive, and kept walking around.
THE MEET
On the street right outside the restaurant I was supposed to meet my friend, I spot a very stylish black girl walking along. I walk quickly to catch up with her, but then we're crossing a busy intersection. I keep pace behind her, and open her from the side just a few paces after she reaches the sidewalk. I say "hi, your outfit is *really* stylish" (genuine). She responds "wow thank you" very warmly. I ask "do you work in fashion?". She responds "no, I work in publishing". I say something like that's a cool industry.
I soon ask her "you're not from here right?" (I usually try to cold-read guess where girls are from. But she's clearly from Africa, and I don't know the cultural intricacies enough, and don't want to offend her by guessing if she's from some random African country that is offensive to her). She tells me she's from Nairobi, Kenya. We continue chatting about travels, and what we're up to today, and I give her some more compliments about her hair, and her outfit.
THE CLOSE
After about 45 seconds, we reach the end of the intersection, and she says "well, I'm turning over here....... it was nice to meet you". It's clear to me that she wants this to go further, but this doesn't happen to her often, so she's unsure of what to do. I save her
by casually saying "hey, do you want to exchange numbers, maybe get a coffee sometime?", to which she very warmly says yes to.FOLLOWUP
I text her immediately after "hey ____, wonderful to have met
enjoy your drinks with friends". She responds immediately with "The feeling was mutual. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face. Enjoy your dinner" (which is a fairly warm followup to an icebreaker)I text a day later asking her how her dinner went, and try to arrange a date to followup (this is Friday). She responds she's free Tuesday (4 days later). We send a few short texts back/forth, and arrange to meet at a Wine bar after work, and then we don't text much until the first date.
FIRST DATE
We meet at the wine bar, she's wearing a stylish business/casual fusion outfit. She warmly hugs me and smiles when I arrive. Honestly the conversation is slightly stilted at first. But eventually we chat about vibes, and how we met, and how it's boring to stay in the same place and only hang out with the same type of people, and we connect a bit more. I suggest we bounce, and she agrees. I put my card down when the bill comes, and she takes out her wallet, and I don't tell her "no, I got this", which indicates I'm fine with her splitting. Then she says "let's try something different", and she gives me my card back, and pays the whole $90 bill herself. I casually say "okay, I'll get the next one".
We bounce to a asian steamed bun place nearby, order some food, eat, I pay ($35 bill). We start walking back. I make a casual offer for her to come to my place to have some watermelon, she's not entirely opposed to the idea, but I can sense her hesitation due to it being a weeknight, and her needing to do some public transit travel to get back to her place. So instead, we kiss goodbye. The kiss goodbye without sex has sort of blown up on me in the past, but it seemed.... okay here.
SECOND DATE
Before the second date, I'm a bit exhausted honestly. Had a girl over Thursday morning, a different one Thursday night, then Thursday morning girl was over again on Friday all night, and she stayed until 1 hour before this second date.
We meet again at a cheese store the following Saturday in the afternoon(4 days later), because she wanted to find some quality Parmesan. She's wearing a pretty light colored summer dress that contrasts well with her skin. We quickly bounce to a pita wrap place, then a taco place. Then I suggest we walk along this elevated city walkway with beautiful views (that terminates in the neighborhood of my apartment). Then we get ice cream in the neighborhood.
The vibe was pretty average. She's clearly kind of interested in me, but not super interested, and our connection is okay, but not amazing. She does make some pretty good hints along the way. As we're walking along the walkway, we talk about people who's apartments are facing the walkway directly, and "what if I want to have sex with my partner? There's no privacy".
At some point during the date I ask her what's her plan for today. She says she's "going with the flow", which is code word for "I've cleared my schedule for you today".
PULL
After ice cream, she says "what's next?". I suggest we "get that watermelon", and eat it on my apartment rooftop, with some drinks, which she easily agrees to.
ESCALATION
Back at my place, there's no need to go to the rooftop. I do make her a cocktail, and serve watermelon. Then we kiss (first time for this second date. I know not to make the mistake of kissing too early on a second date even if we kissed previously on the first date). Then we're on top of each other, and feeling each other up.
She says some things like "I don't want to have sex tonight", to which I do my standard "of course, I don't want to either, I'm just enjoying your presence here" (and then continue to escalate soon after).
The final shit test is really funny. She sits me up on the couch, then gets up, and starts pacing back and forth in front of me, like a lawyer prosecuting the accused. She asks me:
What do you want from me?
A) a quick fuck?
B) TBD
C) just going with the flow
D) Other
I answer by teasing her that she's like a lawyer prosecuting me, and then I tease her that choices B/C are basically the same thing, and just generally keep a smile ongoing, and keep my responses lighthearted. Eventually I finally answer that it's C, how can we know what this is going to be like on just the second date? She seems to like this response, and jumps on top of me.
Then she sort of half-tests me again by explaining that she doesn't like it when guys have sex and never talk to her again. She then tells me "I'm saving myself for marriage". I then tease her "wow, that's so risky. What if he's terrible in bed, or has a small dick or something, then you're stuck with THAT forever". I pass the final test, and she melts into me, and there's no more LMR.
We move to the bedroom, and take all our clothes off.
Because I had had so much sex over the last 48 hours, I honestly had trouble maintaining an erection, the first time this has happened to me. And I was honestly getting worried that this was going to fail for such a DUMBFUCK reason when I had made it so far due to my skill. Although this has never happened to me before, I've read other lay reports where the girl goes into super-immediate-auto-rejection when they see the guy doesn't have an erection, because they think it means he's not physically attracted to her.
I go from hard-soft-hard-soft throughout. And when we're both totally naked on my bed, I think she says something that takes my mind off sex briefly, and I totally lose my erection. I try to hide it from her, and I keep fingering her, and kissing her, and after about 5-7 minutes, my erection finally comes back, and I quickly grab a condom and seal the deal.
Sex is decent. She has a left nipple piercing, which is pretty new to me.
AFTER SEX
I don't pressure her to leave or anything, but she's already on her way out to head to someone else's housewarming event. She asks me to help her tie her dress, and I make a casual remark that I'm good at tying, which leads us to a discussion about BDSM, and I show her my ropes before she leaves.
KEYS TO THE LAY
- not getting butthurt when she refused my pull-home on the first date. Honestly I didn't care too too much. I knew I had 2 other girls I was for sure having sex with this week. And I was honestly tired on that weekday. So me not making her rejection a big deal made her very eager to come out for a second date.
- Also, "not persisting" was probably the right move here at the end of the first date. We were both pretty low energy, and it was a weeknight, and she had poor logistics for getting home. On a previous fuck-up, I persisted hard to get her home on that first date, which really turned her off, because I went from "sexy and cool" to "pushy and needy". What I did instead was continuing to joke about how good my watermelon was, which ended up being an inside joke that helped get her back to my place on the second date.
- passing her tests with teasing and a light heart. I think previous me, when encountering such a serious test, would become equally serious, and try to indicate how much I truly care about her? New me just treats her behavior as "silly and cute", which is exactly the way to pass these tests.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
- Another pretty text book seduction, from day-game cold approach meet, to sex. The only real non-ideal handling of it, was that it took 2 dates for sex, rather than 1. Looking back, the only way I can think of to make sex happen on date 1, would have been to push the first date back to Friday/Saturday (7-8 days after I got her number). But then I'd be dealing with attraction-expiration-date, and who knows what other guy might swoop in during those few extra days. So I made a hedge to meet her as early as possible, and know that maybe this will just be a "keep the oven warm" date.
- First sex with a black girl
- First sex with a girl from Africa
- I do want to see her again, maybe try some rope bondage
- Recently, girls have been offering to pay for my dates much more often. Meeting them through Cold Approach instead of dating apps certainly helps set a better frame. I also suspect I'm beginning to acquire abundance mentality, which is subtly shifting the way I present myself and talk, which is starting to make girls WANT to impress me, because they suspect I'm "a catch" who can easily replace her.
- This is the capstone after 3 days of non-stop sex with 3 different girls. Tonight, I'm going to rest alone (my dick literally cannot get hard anymore). And tomorrow, I have nothing planned, and plan to get some solid Cold Approach in again after not doing so for awhile.
