- Joined
- Sep 16, 2013
- Messages
- 18
Got a good gym pickup in the works. I've read Chase's post on meeting girls in the gym, and I tread lightly in the gym because it really is a totally different environment for picking up girls. But at this gym I'm a regular (so is she), and when we first officially met, one of the first things she said was that she's seen me around before. Good sign, making my presence known.
It's a crossfit gym, so anytime we are there it's for a class. Tough to find time during the class to actually talk with anyone for more than a few seconds. So I usually have to wait until afterward.
First day I officially met her I bitched out on asking for her number as we walked out the door. Of course, I got really pissed at myself for being such a pussy. My brain kept making dumb excuses:
"What if she says no? Then you'll keep seeing her here and it'll be awkward."
"I don't want to get another rejection."
"Isn't it a little weird to hit on girls at the gym? So douchey."
"Fuck it. Let's go meet girls at a bar instead."
Eventually I just had to tell my brain to fuck off. It's too used to making these awful excuses and fucking up my game.
So this week, after a good tough morning workout, I see her stretching on the floor. So I go sit down next to her and start stretching too. After a few minutes of talking, I decide it's time to end the interaction and get going. So I say "hey I gotta go hop in the shower, but what do you say we go grab coffee sometime?" Sure enough, she says yes and I hand her my phone for her to punch in my number, and then I go about my day.
That night I send her a text trying to get it all set up. Unfortunately she tells me she's leaving town Thursday (today) and will be gone for a week, so obviously I won't be able to set anything up for that time period.
Here's where the new me separates from the old me: At this point it was tempting to say something like "Okay, cool. So how about we get together next weekend?" But before punching that into my phone I thought... NO. Don't try to force her to commit to a date over a week away just to "lock it down." Because that's what I was doing. Trying to lock her down and get her to commit. Putting forth too much effort to set up a date.
So, I texted her "Cool! Well in case I don't see you before you go, have an awesome time and we'll touch base when you get back!"
In my opinion, this is a much cooler, much more laid-back, and less desperate way to respond when a girl won't be available for an extended period of time. It shows I don't HAVE to set up a date now, I'm not bothered by her unavailability, and I've got too much going on in my own life to make plans this far out.
I am, however, a little unsure of where to go from here. I could text next week, or even wait until next weekend. Next weekend sounds very un-desperate, but could also be waiting an unnecessarily long period of time. I'm also pretty bad about followup texts. I don't like anything like "So... about those drinks? You free this weekend?" Need to approach it in a much more laid-back manner. Like maybe "Hey ____! Have an awesome ski trip? Let me know what your schedule's like this weekend/next week and we'll go grab those drinks!"
It's a crossfit gym, so anytime we are there it's for a class. Tough to find time during the class to actually talk with anyone for more than a few seconds. So I usually have to wait until afterward.
First day I officially met her I bitched out on asking for her number as we walked out the door. Of course, I got really pissed at myself for being such a pussy. My brain kept making dumb excuses:
"What if she says no? Then you'll keep seeing her here and it'll be awkward."
"I don't want to get another rejection."
"Isn't it a little weird to hit on girls at the gym? So douchey."
"Fuck it. Let's go meet girls at a bar instead."
Eventually I just had to tell my brain to fuck off. It's too used to making these awful excuses and fucking up my game.
So this week, after a good tough morning workout, I see her stretching on the floor. So I go sit down next to her and start stretching too. After a few minutes of talking, I decide it's time to end the interaction and get going. So I say "hey I gotta go hop in the shower, but what do you say we go grab coffee sometime?" Sure enough, she says yes and I hand her my phone for her to punch in my number, and then I go about my day.
That night I send her a text trying to get it all set up. Unfortunately she tells me she's leaving town Thursday (today) and will be gone for a week, so obviously I won't be able to set anything up for that time period.
Here's where the new me separates from the old me: At this point it was tempting to say something like "Okay, cool. So how about we get together next weekend?" But before punching that into my phone I thought... NO. Don't try to force her to commit to a date over a week away just to "lock it down." Because that's what I was doing. Trying to lock her down and get her to commit. Putting forth too much effort to set up a date.
So, I texted her "Cool! Well in case I don't see you before you go, have an awesome time and we'll touch base when you get back!"
In my opinion, this is a much cooler, much more laid-back, and less desperate way to respond when a girl won't be available for an extended period of time. It shows I don't HAVE to set up a date now, I'm not bothered by her unavailability, and I've got too much going on in my own life to make plans this far out.
I am, however, a little unsure of where to go from here. I could text next week, or even wait until next weekend. Next weekend sounds very un-desperate, but could also be waiting an unnecessarily long period of time. I'm also pretty bad about followup texts. I don't like anything like "So... about those drinks? You free this weekend?" Need to approach it in a much more laid-back manner. Like maybe "Hey ____! Have an awesome ski trip? Let me know what your schedule's like this weekend/next week and we'll go grab those drinks!"
