Sudden sexual attraction on ex. gf

[allanmogale]

Earlier before I came about this site I didn't know much about women and psychology, or the psychological part of it, or maybe the whole world in general and it is in that moment where I started dating a beautiful girl from deep within a hidden village in South Africa. "Take women to bed" wasn't exactly my objective. I was religiously tired to "sex after marriage" and I didn't find much point in having sex until recently.

I'd feel back then when I had a mere kiss on the forehead, cheek, or mouth or wherever what I feel now when I sleep with girls I'd met in school, the pub etc. or maybe by entire luck girls I cold approach in the streets.


I broke off of from a 3 year non-emotionally inspired relationship with the girl I mentioned above a month or two back. At first, we had that "spark", but it somewhat got lost along the lines of morality and I want this and I don't want that kind of a thing.

I personally don't think sex should be an issue in a relationship and Franco has noted that "The more you make it seem like a big deal, the more she's going to make it a big deal." and that's what she has made of it, a big deal and I don't think that people should compromise their lives in any way for what society thinks is socially acceptable or whatelse, anyhow, this girl and I started getting close when the actual time table in school changed and she's now practically in all my least important classes (life skills, cooking etc.). I wasn't really bothered by her presence during that time and after a quick read on the article where Chase talked about walls, and how to tell if her walls are up or down I was hit by a strange realization where I'd notice how uncomfortable and short our interactions would turn out to be, anyway I went to a club a few blocks away from home last week to have a drink or two late in the cold winters of Santa after an unbearable barely an hour night of tossing and turning in bed and I un-surprisingly bumped into her with one of her buddies mildly intoxicated...

This is what I took down:
* she constantly mentioned that she's on her periods (menstruation)
*she became way too comfortable around me (touching, sitting on my lap with her hand around my waist)
*we got to a point where we were alone in the bathroom (she feared going alone) staring at eachother, I went in for a kiss and she pulled back with a "what the f*ck are you doing" kind of a reaction and said that the feelings are there, but it's wrong.
P.s. She has made it clear that we were just fooling around when we were dating
Next Day
*wants me to hookup with her friend
*gets upset and jealous when I talk about or with other girls in front of her.
*said she had a great time
*wants to go out again

Previously
*spoke about her virginity a fair amount of time.
*awkward tension was still there
......... ......... . .......... ...... ..........

Currently

*walls are definitely down
*signs that she likes me are there, yes.
*constantly tries to indulge in conversation with me

It is said somewhere in the site that people want what they can't have. Chase has also noted that it is not love, but the suspense of not knowing if you can get her in the article Can't Stop Thinking About Her; given your understanding of this do you think that in my case it's not exactly whatever that draws me towards her (definitely not love), but the suspense of not knowing if I can bed her that distracts my whole process of self-improvement and seduction? I really don't know what to make of this, it bothers me when she is in my presence and not all that much when she is not.
*I read on the article "How To Get Her Back" should I apply the advice given on that article to bed her, instead?
*or maybe, should I read on the article on "How to get over your ex" and simply get over her?

How should I deal with the sudden sexual attraction I have on her?

 

[Chase]

Allan-

It is said somewhere in the site that people want what they can't have. Chase has also noted that it is not love, but the suspense of not knowing if you can get her in the article Can't Stop Thinking About Her; given your understanding of this do you think that in my case it's not exactly whatever that draws me towards her (definitely not love), but the suspense of not knowing if I can bed her that distracts my whole process of self-improvement and seduction?

It's very common to feel strong sexual interest in women you've known and had a close relationship with for a long time but not had a sexual relationship with, which is what seems to be the case here. The sexual attraction is likely simply because you had such a close relationship with her, and because she now seems to be holding it out in front of you in arms' reach. Now that it feels like you might just be able to get it, it becomes something that you very much want to get (likewise, if she was showing zero interest in you and acting cold as ice, you'd probably have zero interest in her too).

How should I deal with the sudden sexual attraction I have on her?

How do you *want* to deal with it?

It sounds like you want to try to take her to bed, and that that's no longer against your morals - if so, it might be worth a shot, since she sounds potentially interested, but... she also sounds rather immature, and the hot-cold reactions you're getting ("Hookup with my friend!" "What - you're looking at other girls?!") imply there's a huge internal war going on inside her between what she emotionally wants (sex) and what she logically wants (no sex). You stand some chance of being the one who breaks her out of that war and takes her to bed, but the chance is not a great one, and there's a much better chance that you waste a lot of time chasing down a cocktease in the meantime, and go ballistic when she ends up giving her virginity to some guy she just met one random drunken night at the club instead of you.

I'd probably just walk away from this one and stay far away and find someone new... but if that's hard to do with her in your classes and hanging in the clubs you frequent, I can understand.

Chase