Suppressing wanting women to learn the skill

[Keno]

Hello friends,

I’ve had some really helpful and eye-opening advice on my last (first) post so since I just had a kinda epiphany I wanted to share it and see if any of you dealt or are dealing with the same kinda thing and how you proceeded with it in the process.

I wasn’t sure how to describe it until I had to give the thread a name and I think that sums up the whole thing.

With a bit more details it looks like this:

Since I am in the beginning stages and it’s still a lot of investment for me dealing with a woman I want to seduce I’ve noticed that I tend to slow down or suppress my ‘I want her’ so to not get too involved.

I rechannel that into learning and focusing on the skill but by that one thing I see is that that pure sexual magnetic thing goes away from my side (because I’m just thinking process) and also because I can’t create that feeling of a romance in me (or better I’m afraid to allow myself to feel that due to the fear of becoming too invested/attached) and thus stop myself somewhere creating it for her.

I know one solution is meeting more girls but I think there is also another part to it. The better I get the less I have to invest (thoughts, calibrations etc.) but to get better and meet more women I feel like I don’t allow myself to put everything into seducing one girl because of the fear it will make me too attached to her.

Not sure if I can bring across what I mean but is there a mindset part/ perspective part to it that can help me or did you guys just go through that phase and at some point I don’t have to worry about it anymore?

Appreciate every advice and hint very much!

Have a great day. Konrad

 

[Keno]

now reading it again; maybe is it just fear of losing a girl I’ve invested in (no matter how much) because that’s just still the phase I’m in? Curious

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Hey man, yeah I've been there. Sexual relationships can easily get sticky and turn into romantic ones. Then you get attached (pairbonded) and things can get messy... especially if she's not the right girl for a long-term thing, OR if she doesn't feel the same way.

At some point and with more experience, you will be able to separate the sexual from the romantic pretty much totally. But as a newbie it's hard to keep a cool head.

I do think abundance is the only way to really solve this. Without abundance, the risk of falling for one of the first girls you sleep with is quite high. The risk of being completely out of control of the relationship, too.

Abundance translates to going out more, opening more sets, generating more leads, going on more dates. I guess that advice is kinda old school but I'm not sure I've seen a better way.