LR Swiped V-Card, meh

[Thinkingenigma]

So... I'm 20 and I finally lost my virginity. I don't really feel any different. There was a girl that I've been friends with for a while, and we were talking about stuff one night and she mentioned that she hadn't had sex because she hadn't really been able to find anyone at college who seemed open to the idea (conservative Christian college: Even the girls are having trouble getting laid). Anyways, I asked if she would be interested in a friends with benefits relationship. She was game, so when she came over tonight, one thing led to another, and we ended up in bed. She came twice, but after about 45 min, I just gave up. I was hard the entire time, but for some reason, I couldn't get off. I really couldn't feel anything with the condom on, and I just didn't enjoy myself very much. On the bright side, I don't have to worry at all about getting her pregnant, lol.

Two things I found out tonight. First, I need to date small girls. She's very pretty and she's not overweight, but I am significantly lighter and smaller than she is and it made things very difficult (I'm 6'2" and weigh 127 lbs, so I'm pretty skinny).

Second, and more troubling, is that I don't like vaginas. Give me boobs, and I'm all over them, but something about vaginas turns me off. Maybe it's the hair, maybe it's the smell, but when I took her panties off, I stopped enjoying myself. I have no idea why, but it's something that I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with. It really confused me because I have a high sex drive, but once I got down to it, it wasn't really that fun.

I really don't know what to do with myself. I really like girls, but if this is what sex is like, I don't think it's worth the hype. Hopefully I can figure something out, because I feel like I'm missing out here.

 

[The Tool]

Thinkingenigma, Im actually on the same boat as you about the sex thing, I was expecting some awesome amazing experience my first time (it was great). Sex is fun dont get me wrong but it is not even close to being what it is hyped up to be.

 

[Estate]

First time sex isn't the glory it's made out to be by young guys.

It's often awkward. You don't know what you're doing, she hasn't had sex before so she doesn't know what she's doing, it's very mechanical.
Girls obviously come in all shapes and sizes and different things will turn you on.

Often the best sex comes as you get older and you are with someone who does the right things for you.
Other times if the girl is more experienced she'll work a little more and really make it good.

In terms of female grooming. I love going down on a girl, you're right, some girls are not well groomed, usually younger, conservative or less experienced girls for various reasons. Some guys like it, some don't.
There is nothing is attractive to me as a freshly shaved girl, I can't help myself going down on her.

I think most people have this experience though. They have sex for the first time and it's not this mind blowing experience or anything like all that porn they've been watching.
Use it as a learning experience, you've taken some pressure off yourself and you've learned something in the process.

Best of luck man and well done.

 

[charming]

Second, and more troubling, is that I don't like vaginas. Give me boobs, and I'm all over them, but something about vaginas turns me off. Maybe it's the hair, maybe it's the smell, but when I took her panties off, I stopped enjoying myself. I have no idea why, but it's something that I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with. It really confused me because I have a high sex drive, but once I got down to it, it wasn't really that fun.

Don't be discouraged Thinkingenigma!

Hollywood and porn have set you up for this one, it was the same for me and every honest dude I've talked to. You like them, believe me, you just don't know what to do with them yet.

Condoms are a catch-22. I've also yet to find one I really like. They are absolutely necessary, but you learn their limitations. The first pleasurable and orgasmic intercourse I had was the morning after. I woke up rock-steady, pulled her close, and started after it. It was definitely risky but what's life without taking some risks. Anyway after a minute or two I actually felt pleasure and could sense the climax coming and just pulled out before finishing. Don't overthink sex. You've spent most of your life building it up, it's fun and pleasurable but it's not going to make you whole or fill some void in your life. Be cool and have fun, get creative, try things you've thought about and see what happens.

It's just like with anything else, you were born with some natural ability but you've got to practice to get really good.

Also also, always ask them for feedback during. Not in a weird let's stop and have a long conversation about it, more natural as it happens. ie "Do you like that, does it feel good?" Look at the expressions they're making. If you notice a strange one ask "Does that hurt" Girls are verbal communicators through and through, no matter the senario and will swoon at your attentiveness.

 

[girlsfollow]

I really don't know what to do with myself. I really like girls, but if this is what sex is like, I don't think it's worth the hype. Hopefully I can figure something out, because I feel like I'm missing out here.

it gets better when the girl knows what shes doing and when you get comfortable with her - I generally dont enjoy first time sex with some girls that much either (especially virgins! - its all about her, although the whole virgin idea does add something) - its a comfort thing for me I think - most of sex is in your head. Also for me condoms are a big turn off - I enjoy sex MUCH more without a condom with a really sexual girl (by this I mean one thats opened up - which virgins on their first time never are).

So 3 things that will improve things massively:
1. she gets more comfortable/more experienced
2. you get more comfortable/more experienced
3. once you know the girl and shes on the pill - no condoms! (btw - try buying some expensive luxury thin ones it makes a difference try some - Delux by durex are good, dont bother with all the ribbs and weird lubes etc yet, just thin as possible)

It can be what its hyped up to be - although porn does give you unrealistically high expectations and can desensitise you - I would say cut out porn - it does wonders - try it!

oh and girls can shave!

I would be careful about asking how it feels too much though - better to read her - pay attention to when she is really into it and what she does - better indicator

 

[trashKENNUT]

BUMP!

 

[Mr. Wes]

I thought I was the only guy who in the world who wasn't attracted to vaginas. Thank goodness.
I've seen some pretty ones but me and my friend have a word for the ugly ones. "Octo-pussies"
When they flabs of skin hanging all out and going various directions like the tentacles of an octopus. Lol

 

[Marty]

I realize that this is an old thread recently bumped by Zac, but I'm going to comment anyway.

ThinkingEnigma, I also lost my virginity at the age of 20. Fortunately at the time I had a very understanding girlfriend, 3 to 4 years older, who actually said to me afterwards: "It's not much fun the first time, is it?" (She also did me the favor of resisting like crazy in the hours leading up to it—so that I'd understand that it's all an act when girls do that. Real classy girl, actually.) I soon learned, however, that after the first time it pretty quickly becomes a lot of fun. Now that several months have passed since you initiated this thread, I hope you are making that discovery too, ThinkingEnigma!