- Joined
- Jul 5, 2013
- Messages
- 182
We've probably all experienced something like this: sometimes people simply don't like you from the get-go. Perhaps it's how you look, perhaps you remind them of someone who hurt them in the past, or perhaps they're just having a bad day and have subconsciously decided to dislike the next person who walks by -- the list could be endless -- but what results is an immediate auto-rejection that seems largely out of your control. Sometimes you get a narrow window to steer things out of the red zone while they assess your status (it's when you get the feeling that they're just waiting for you to make a mistake. // This window lasts longer the better your fundamentals get, and can go on indefinitely in neutral if you don't push it and have nothing but polite interest in them), but sometimes that's not even there (as is often with cold approach. People simply have far less of a reason to be nice to you then. As an aside, when you cold approach a girl and later find out she's in one of the same social circles as you it can make for some strong emotions from her, either she sees you as a threat to her reputation or attraction mounts when she sees you being socially astute around your mutual friends).
The most overarching thing I think we can do about this is work on our attainability and fundamentals. However, I'm curious to know what techniques people find to be useful in pulling yourself out of the red with someone who has almost no investment in you but has just about auto-rejected you or has decided to try and treat you like a no challenge nice guy before you even open your mouth (which can even happen if your fundamentals are maximized -- perhaps they were not paying attention or were just stubbornly framing everyone that way that day). My main technique for dealing with either is to amp up my nonverbal sexiness then I often instinctually act more haughty, which I'm not sure is always for the best. If it appears to be a do-or-die situation I may do something more drastic and say something ridiculous, along the lines of "I thought the stars were aligning for us!" or "But for true love!" or something else to reduce the tension and make the situation more jovial, which could either verify that I am the kind of person they thought I was or pull me out of Never-talk-to-you-again-land, depending.
Glad to hear what other people do,
Oskar
The most overarching thing I think we can do about this is work on our attainability and fundamentals. However, I'm curious to know what techniques people find to be useful in pulling yourself out of the red with someone who has almost no investment in you but has just about auto-rejected you or has decided to try and treat you like a no challenge nice guy before you even open your mouth (which can even happen if your fundamentals are maximized -- perhaps they were not paying attention or were just stubbornly framing everyone that way that day). My main technique for dealing with either is to amp up my nonverbal sexiness then I often instinctually act more haughty, which I'm not sure is always for the best. If it appears to be a do-or-die situation I may do something more drastic and say something ridiculous, along the lines of "I thought the stars were aligning for us!" or "But for true love!" or something else to reduce the tension and make the situation more jovial, which could either verify that I am the kind of person they thought I was or pull me out of Never-talk-to-you-again-land, depending.
Glad to hear what other people do,
Oskar