TLDR: Went on a few dates with a super clingy/needy/exclusive-relationship type girl from China. I was getting annoyed, and just straight up told her "I'm a fuckboy" thinking she'd probably leave. Instead she became super aroused by me, and we went home and had sex.
Long version
This was a dating app girl, which I usually don't think are worth posting about (and I only turned the apps on briefly for ~1 week this year, before deciding I should stick to Cold Approach). But the way this one played out was different and interesting, so I wanted to write it down.
People
Me: ~30 Asian Male, sophisticated stylish dress, works in Finance
Her: ~24 grad student from China, thin, decently dressed, though not extremely stylish by this city's standards.
Background
We had gone on 2 "info dates", where I didn't try particularly hard to escalate/pull on her, because of time constraints on my end, and also I just wasn't feeling the vibe too much. Regardless, she started texting me like crazy, responding to all my texts instantly, and texting me multiple times per day, and saying a few times that she's annoyed I don't respond to her texts fast enough. I was a bit confused as to why she was getting so attached to me after so little interaction. I was getting the "clingy Chinese girl" vibe. Apparently it's common in China, where the girl expects the guy to be texting her all day, and she even asks for passwords to his messenger apps and email so she can keep tabs on him. I'd dated one of these girls before, and I was getting leery of if this was going to be worth it.
On our 3rd date, I asked her to come cook with me in my apartment, which she agreed to. I made some drinks, cooked, then we kissed on the couch. But... she started getting crazy drunk (after only 2 drinks), and she vomited in my trash can and acted super crazy. I spent the next few hours taking care of her and getting her home (she wanted to stay here and keep going) but I definitely wasn't going to try to escalate further on her when she was in this state.
She apologized profusely over text afterwards, and tried hard to meet me again. Honestly I was 40/60 on actually wanting to meet her again. Her clingyness/neediness seemed so extreme, that I was wondering if the notch was even worth it. I planned to have a "talk" with her, tell her I'm a total fuckboy, and not what she's looking for, and that I didn't want to hurt her.
Date
She wanted to come to my place to cook. But I created some distance (the opposite of what I'd normally do), and asked her to meet at a casual pita place nearby instead.
The previous night, I was drinking with friends + another girl, and the morning of, this other girl woke me up at 7 to bang before she had to go. So I was overall pretty tired this day, but I guess I was carrying that "disheveled fuckboy doesn't care aura", which may have helped.
Anyway, we met at the pita place, ate, chatted a bit, then she really wanted to go to a bar nearby and drink more, to prove to me that she's not a crazy lightweight and last week was just because she had an empty stomach. I agreed, thinking at least if she gets drunk she won't be vomiting in my apartment this time.
At the bar, is when I told her I'm a fuckboy, and sleeping with other girls, and not what she's looking for. Her response: "if you had told me you wanted an exclusive relationship, I wouldn't have believed you" *very wide smile*.
This was the *it's on* moment where I kind of became interested in her again. I applied heavy touch at this point, paid the bar bill, went on a short walk, then brought her straight to my apartment. I made her a weak drink, we kissed on the couch, then moved to the bedroom. There was surprisingly still a bit of "I don't want to have sex tonight though" LMR, which I busted through over the course of an hour mainly with Hector's Compassion + Passion tech, and general persistence.
I usually find these clingy, only 1 boyfriend Chinese girls to be bad in bed, but sex was surprisingly okay. And her blowjob skills were pretty decent.
After Sex
I honestly wanted to just go to sleep at this point. But I made an effort to be nice and cuddle/hang/chat with her for a few hours afterwards and walk her home. It's during this time when she told me some interesting things:
- she's only had 1 boyfriend, a high school boyfriend from China that she's been dating for 7 years and only recently broke up with him because he bores her, and he's still trying to get her back. I'm the first guy she's been on a date with since her 7-year boyfriend
- she volunteered to tell me why she's here in bed with me, a fuckboy for the second guy she's ever slept with-- she's still young, and has a lot of time, and she's been locked in a relationship for so long, she enjoys the power of choosing who she wants to fuck
- she told me about this British guy who asked his Chinese friend to invite her to his birthday party picnic. And subsequently the British guy is inviting her to rock climbing. She wanted me to get jealous. But instead I said "yeah, you should go fuck him in the rock climbing changing room. Tell me how big his dick is"
- she told me about some sexual drama going on in her graduate school. Where a married associate professor is banging his TA/graduate researcher. And that girl is afraid of this girl as as threat, so that girl is forcing the professor to also give this girl a hard time. So scandalous sex has been on her mind recently. I made a lot of jokes along the lines of "oh, so what you need to do is to also bang the professor and kick that other girl out, and get your phd".
Lessons/Sticking Points
- It's really funny when sometimes your "quit move" is actually the only "win move" that would have worked.
In retrospect, telling her I'm a fuckboy is what sealed this deal for me. When we first met, my value to her was sky-high, and she tried unsuccessfully to rope me into something committed. But due to my abundance and solid frame control, she gradually gave up on this idea. And when we met for the 4th date, she was probably finally beginning to think "okay, this guy's never going to be my boyfriend, I guess we're wasting our time here". But when I instead re-portrayed myself as a great sexual experience (by confirming her suspicion that I sleep with many girls simultaneously), she changed her thinking to "what the hell, he's hot, and I've only had boring sex with the same guy for the last 7 years"
- Another meta-technique that I noticed for this lay, is that in my mind, I was 99% sure we were going to eventually have sex that night, despite her protests, because I was so confident that Hector's Compassion + Passion tech was going to work on her.
Previously, when I reached this point in bed, I would get a little anxious, cycling through my mind for different techniques to try out on her, and getting worried about my percentage chance of sealing the deal getting lower and lower.
But this time, instead, I had like zero reaction to her LMR. Or if anything, it just made me smile even more, because I knew exactly what to do against her LMR, and I had such conviction that it would work. I guess to her, this seemed like "god damn this guy, he's so cocksure about himself, that he knows my protests are useless. What the hell, I might as well fuck him".
Long version
This was a dating app girl, which I usually don't think are worth posting about (and I only turned the apps on briefly for ~1 week this year, before deciding I should stick to Cold Approach). But the way this one played out was different and interesting, so I wanted to write it down.
People
Me: ~30 Asian Male, sophisticated stylish dress, works in Finance
Her: ~24 grad student from China, thin, decently dressed, though not extremely stylish by this city's standards.
Background
We had gone on 2 "info dates", where I didn't try particularly hard to escalate/pull on her, because of time constraints on my end, and also I just wasn't feeling the vibe too much. Regardless, she started texting me like crazy, responding to all my texts instantly, and texting me multiple times per day, and saying a few times that she's annoyed I don't respond to her texts fast enough. I was a bit confused as to why she was getting so attached to me after so little interaction. I was getting the "clingy Chinese girl" vibe. Apparently it's common in China, where the girl expects the guy to be texting her all day, and she even asks for passwords to his messenger apps and email so she can keep tabs on him. I'd dated one of these girls before, and I was getting leery of if this was going to be worth it.
On our 3rd date, I asked her to come cook with me in my apartment, which she agreed to. I made some drinks, cooked, then we kissed on the couch. But... she started getting crazy drunk (after only 2 drinks), and she vomited in my trash can and acted super crazy. I spent the next few hours taking care of her and getting her home (she wanted to stay here and keep going) but I definitely wasn't going to try to escalate further on her when she was in this state.
She apologized profusely over text afterwards, and tried hard to meet me again. Honestly I was 40/60 on actually wanting to meet her again. Her clingyness/neediness seemed so extreme, that I was wondering if the notch was even worth it. I planned to have a "talk" with her, tell her I'm a total fuckboy, and not what she's looking for, and that I didn't want to hurt her.
Date
She wanted to come to my place to cook. But I created some distance (the opposite of what I'd normally do), and asked her to meet at a casual pita place nearby instead.
The previous night, I was drinking with friends + another girl, and the morning of, this other girl woke me up at 7 to bang before she had to go. So I was overall pretty tired this day, but I guess I was carrying that "disheveled fuckboy doesn't care aura", which may have helped.
Anyway, we met at the pita place, ate, chatted a bit, then she really wanted to go to a bar nearby and drink more, to prove to me that she's not a crazy lightweight and last week was just because she had an empty stomach. I agreed, thinking at least if she gets drunk she won't be vomiting in my apartment this time.
At the bar, is when I told her I'm a fuckboy, and sleeping with other girls, and not what she's looking for. Her response: "if you had told me you wanted an exclusive relationship, I wouldn't have believed you" *very wide smile*.
This was the *it's on* moment where I kind of became interested in her again. I applied heavy touch at this point, paid the bar bill, went on a short walk, then brought her straight to my apartment. I made her a weak drink, we kissed on the couch, then moved to the bedroom. There was surprisingly still a bit of "I don't want to have sex tonight though" LMR, which I busted through over the course of an hour mainly with Hector's Compassion + Passion tech, and general persistence.
I usually find these clingy, only 1 boyfriend Chinese girls to be bad in bed, but sex was surprisingly okay. And her blowjob skills were pretty decent.
After Sex
I honestly wanted to just go to sleep at this point. But I made an effort to be nice and cuddle/hang/chat with her for a few hours afterwards and walk her home. It's during this time when she told me some interesting things:
- she's only had 1 boyfriend, a high school boyfriend from China that she's been dating for 7 years and only recently broke up with him because he bores her, and he's still trying to get her back. I'm the first guy she's been on a date with since her 7-year boyfriend
- she volunteered to tell me why she's here in bed with me, a fuckboy for the second guy she's ever slept with-- she's still young, and has a lot of time, and she's been locked in a relationship for so long, she enjoys the power of choosing who she wants to fuck
- she told me about this British guy who asked his Chinese friend to invite her to his birthday party picnic. And subsequently the British guy is inviting her to rock climbing. She wanted me to get jealous. But instead I said "yeah, you should go fuck him in the rock climbing changing room. Tell me how big his dick is"
- she told me about some sexual drama going on in her graduate school. Where a married associate professor is banging his TA/graduate researcher. And that girl is afraid of this girl as as threat, so that girl is forcing the professor to also give this girl a hard time. So scandalous sex has been on her mind recently. I made a lot of jokes along the lines of "oh, so what you need to do is to also bang the professor and kick that other girl out, and get your phd".
Lessons/Sticking Points
- It's really funny when sometimes your "quit move" is actually the only "win move" that would have worked.
In retrospect, telling her I'm a fuckboy is what sealed this deal for me. When we first met, my value to her was sky-high, and she tried unsuccessfully to rope me into something committed. But due to my abundance and solid frame control, she gradually gave up on this idea. And when we met for the 4th date, she was probably finally beginning to think "okay, this guy's never going to be my boyfriend, I guess we're wasting our time here". But when I instead re-portrayed myself as a great sexual experience (by confirming her suspicion that I sleep with many girls simultaneously), she changed her thinking to "what the hell, he's hot, and I've only had boring sex with the same guy for the last 7 years"
- Another meta-technique that I noticed for this lay, is that in my mind, I was 99% sure we were going to eventually have sex that night, despite her protests, because I was so confident that Hector's Compassion + Passion tech was going to work on her.
Previously, when I reached this point in bed, I would get a little anxious, cycling through my mind for different techniques to try out on her, and getting worried about my percentage chance of sealing the deal getting lower and lower.
But this time, instead, I had like zero reaction to her LMR. Or if anything, it just made me smile even more, because I knew exactly what to do against her LMR, and I had such conviction that it would work. I guess to her, this seemed like "god damn this guy, he's so cocksure about himself, that he knows my protests are useless. What the hell, I might as well fuck him".
