@pancakemouse,
The difference between pleasurable tension and awkward silence is the intent behind and nonverbal communication (or lack thereof) within the drop-off in verbal conversation.
Examples:
- Pleasurable tension: man flirts with woman, teasing her. She defends herself, laughing. The man claims to not really believe her, then lets it fall silent while looking at her in a sexy way. She returns the look and maintains the silence. Pleasurable tension arises.
- Awkward tension: man flirts with woman, teasing her. His tease goes too far and she feels insulted. He tells her, "It's just a joke!" then lets it drop off, hoping she'll say something to alleviate the awkward tension. She doesn't, and in that moment of silence it gets more awkward.
- Awkward tension: a woman asks a man why he's out by himself at a popular nightspot. He tells her, "Oh, umm, that's a good question!" then freezes up, unsure how to respond. He ends up staring at her as she stares back, and the awkward tension explodes.
- Pleasurable tension: a young man and woman are talking, and their hands accidentally touch. Both stop talking. "Oh, um, sorry!" the guy spills out. "It's okay," the girl says. Both stare deeply into each other's eyes, their pupils dilated, as both lean in toward each other. Their eyes dart from one another's eyes to lips and back again. They are about to kiss. Pleasurable tension explodes.
In examples 1 & 4, the intent is a kind of nonverbal mutual liking; the silence itself is part of the ongoing communication, as the couple's nonverbals pick up the slack. Both people end up thinking, "I like where this is going!"
In examples 2 & 3, there is not really any intent behind the silence. Instead, it is a clumsy dropping of communication with no attractive nonverbal communication filling the gap. Both people end up thinking, "Get me out of here!"
tl;dr: playful/seductive mutual intent + electric mutual nonverbal communication during the silence = pleasurable silence. Clumsy/clueless fumbling of conversation + lack of synced up nonverbal communication during the silence = awkward silence.
Chase
