Texting busy girls

[Higher]

This is something that i keep tripping on.

Whats the best way to text girls that dont really have time to chat due to time-consuming jobs / rather hot insta profiles that take all their time? With these girls i cant seem to make the standard "flirt-softclose-hardclose" procedure work.

My default approach is to make a strong first impression (by following 60yocs micro-escalations) and to seed a date while in person (to which they agree). When we switch to texting tho, the lead sorta dies rather quickly/she gives minimal investment.

(Could also be that im boring the shit outta them, or that i sound a bit too boyfriendish/nice for their taste. Or also that my reading of their emotional state is totally off).

Should i just hard close with these gals, and if it dies so be it?

How often should i text them? Once every two days seems too much. Once per week? Is the daily "good morning :sun:" text still the move here?

Ill post some examples if needed.

 

[topcat]

This is something that i keep tripping on.

Whats the best way to text girls that dont really have time to chat due to time-consuming jobs / rather hot insta profiles that take all their time? With these girls i cant seem to make the standard "flirt-softclose-hardclose" procedure work.

My default approach is to make a strong first impression (by following 60yocs micro-escalations) and to seed a date while in person (to which they agree). When we switch to texting tho, the lead sorta dies rather quickly/she gives minimal investment.

(Could also be that im boring the shit outta them, or that i sound a bit too boyfriendish/nice for their taste. Or also that my reading of their emotional state is totally off).

Should i just hard close with these gals, and if it dies so be it?

How often should i text them? Once every two days seems too much. Once per week? Is the daily "good morning :sun:" text still the move here?

Ill post some examples if needed.

post some examples if you can. i can more easily give you input that way

 

[Higher]

This is the latest gal i number-closed. I think the in-person interaction was fairly good -- ive been playing with 60yocs material lately and it seems to really be my thing. (Thanks to i believe Skills for linking the ebook somewhere here)

We talked a few minutes as i had a time constraint. I paused the convo a few times and just looked at her. She would keep eye contact and smile. Not sure now, but i think she looked down once.

Spoiler: Texts

[2/15, 13:29] Ciao X, cool to meet u earlier enki
[2/15, 19:23] Hey enki
Was nice to meet you too
[2/17, 12:13] Hi fellow red wine lover, hows ur weekend?
Being somewhere exciting?
[2/17, 18:34] Hey you
Sorry today i am so exhausted and tired. Work today was terrible. ‍

Of course next time.

--

So here she assumed i was gonna hard close, which was not my plan.

My first reaction was to just reply with "huh?" or even just "?" and leave it at that. However i felt the interaction would have stalled, so i sent her the following instead.

--

[2/18, 12:22] Ciao X
Its ok, was just a hi
They keep u working every weekend?
[2/18, 14:05] yes i work every weekend

I left it on read.

Next move i think ill reach out in a few days and try the softclose-hardclose again, but itd feel a bit like chasing. Im really tempted to just hard close this one and let it burn.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I read this differently... I read this as "it's totally on, meet up".

2c

Curious what other guys say

 

[gameboy]

I'd say you"re doing too much second guessing/reading between the lines. Just ask her if she wants to meet up one of these days.

 

[Skills]

I think she misunderstood your text, of being somewhere exited as you asking her out, I didn't get that, did I miss part of the convo ...

Slow down with the emojis slight nitpick translates too much excitement sub...

This is something I seen so many posters due when texting that blows my mind a girl says, I am sick or my cat died, or just crash my vehicle and they do no show empathy and keep plowing...

Exhausted, oh wow that sucks, be careful not to get burn out... Good to have a balance life... after she responds to that you can soft close, with part of a balance life is you letting go, forget the stress and have an enjoyable break with a handsome red wine conosour...here you can use wink tongue out emoji...

Above I am trying to show you an example on how to deal with girls that are busy as said many times my main now was super busy working hospitals drove me insane specially the way she texted... But more or less that is how do it...

Now you have negative compliance with the maybe next time response when you didn't even soft close .

Also just for the future, again nitpicking this was not a mistake...

The way I would have opened is more your second sentence more power to get response and not sound like everyone else

Hey red wine cutie! Enzo

She responds

Now you respond saying high value activity such as uni, biz, gym etc...so she knows you are a cool dude with a life, then you ask her what is she up to, I usually say what are you doing besides thinking of me and smiling?

 

[fog]

typically when a girl says "hey you" through text, this is a big sign she wants to fuck

 

[topcat]

@Enki, @Karea Ricardus D. read is right. When she said "Of course next time." I would've kept the ball rolling and either asked for her schedule or told her I'd hit her up later in the week to set a date and take it from there..

Too much reading into the situation and assuming low interest or neutral interest, causing you to miss signs of interest (remember chasing in women is subtle, receptivity is your greenlight, as slight or nuanced as it may be)

 

[gameboy]

Yes and @Skills is also right, you should have shown some empathy when she said work was terrible. Just something like, "Oh, what happened?" would have been 100% better than just not replying until the next day. Especially as her "Of course next time" sounded qite enthusiastic to meet up with you.

She may have already felt a disconnect because you didn't reply until the next day, and then did a sort of "walk-back" (in her eyes, assuming she misunterstood your first text).

Then when she says she has to work every week-end, which seems like it's stressing her out, you leave her without a reply again. I'd have texted something like "Hope today is quieter for you!" to show you care about her.

 

[Skills]

typically when a girl says "hey you" through text, this is a big sign she wants to fuck

Brah

 

[Skills]

@Enki, @Karea Ricardus D. read is right. When she said "Of course next time." I would've kept the ball rolling and either asked for her schedule or told her I'd hit her up later in the week to set a date and take it from there..

Too much reading into the situation and assuming low interest or neutral interest, causing you to miss signs of interest (remember chasing in women is subtle, receptivity is your greenlight, as slight or nuanced as it may be)

I don't understand is she from a different country?? why she assumed he was asking her out?

 

[topcat]

I don't understand is she from a different country?? why she assumed he was asking her out?

No clue. It happens sometimes though, i just keep the ball rolling and treat it like a soft close. At the very least it’s an indicator of interest, some chicks are just eager..

 

[Skills]

No clue. It happens sometimes though, i just keep the ball rolling and treat it like a soft close. At the very least it’s an indicator of interest, some chicks are just eager..

I never had that happen but I agree, that would be the best course of action if something like that would happen agree, no worries, I understand but I would not ask for her schedule right then and there cause she just said some other time, I would keep then banter and soft close at some other point... So you are saying she saying some other time is not a rejection but she agreen to see him later??

 

[topcat]

I never had that happen but I agree, that would be the best course of action if something like that would happen agree, no worries, I understand but I would not ask for her schedule right then and there cause she just said some other time, I would keep then banter and soft close at some other point... So you are saying she saying some other time is not a rejection but she agreen to see him later??

i’m saying i would treat it as though she was. Better that i do than assume it’s not and miss the opportunity. Worst scenario is i misread her interest..in that case i put her on the back burner and move on. Nothing lost.

 

[TomInHo]

Oh I see. This was just a lot of miss communication

[2/15, 13:29] Ciao X, cool to meet u earlier enki
[2/15, 19:23] Hey enki
Was nice to meet you too
[2/17, 12:13] Hi fellow red wine lover, hows ur weekend?
Being somewhere exciting?
[2/17, 18:34] Hey you
Sorry today i am so exhausted and tired. Work today was terrible. ‍

Of course next time.

My read here is that when you talked about wine and the weekend she assumed you were trying to close her.

Her saying she is exhausted from work could be valid because she didn't really read your text. She just skimmed and assumed you were like every other guy that is trying to get her schedule for a date fast

I've noticed this happen with me too, so I personally avoid asking girls what they are doing this weekend because it's easily misinterpreted that I want to see them when that may not be the case

So here she assumed i was gonna hard close, which was not my plan.

My first reaction was to just reply with "huh?" or even just "?" and leave it at that. However i felt the interaction would have stalled, so i sent her the following instead.

--

[2/18, 12:22] Ciao X
Its ok, was just a hi
They keep u working every weekend?
[2/18, 14:05] yes i work every weekend

I personally would have dropped the weekend thread because it looks like you may be doing a soft push to get her to agree to a meetup. Would have probably empathized then switched topics immediately to something lighter

But that's just being nitpicky and you seem fine rn

Can wind down this convo then hit her up a day or 2 later with a ping some light banter and a soft close to see if she is down to meet up during the week.

 

[Skills]

Oh I see. This was just a lot of miss communication



My read here is that when you talked about wine and the weekend she assumed you were trying to close her.

Her saying she is exhausted from work could be valid because she didn't really read your text. She just skimmed and assumed you were like every other guy that is trying to get her schedule for a date fast

I've noticed this happen with me too, so I personally avoid asking girls what they are doing this weekend because it's easily misinterpreted that I want to see them when that may not be the case



I personally would have dropped the weekend thread because it looks like you may be doing a soft push to get her to agree to a meetup. Would have probably empathized then switched topics immediately to something lighter

But that's just being nitpicky and you seem fine rn

Can wind down this convo then hit her up a day or 2 later with a ping some light banter and a soft close to see if she is down to meet up during the week.

Excellent.... Now I get it! That's why I kept asking clarification...it made no sense... Op this is the right diagnosis

 

[FunGuy]

I'm curious if I am the only dude who prefers busy chicks? I get annoyed/drained from chicks who constantly want to text.

The only thing I have to add is to piggy-back on TomInHo's tip about being more careful about how you ask about her weekend. If im just trying to open up a conversation I usually phrase it like "I hope ur weekend is going well so far" so that it comes across as light hearted banter rather than trying to probe for logistics.

Also Enki I was a bit confused about if you put the entire convo or if there is stuff missing from between these 2 exchanges:

[2/17, 12:13] Hi fellow red wine lover, hows ur weekend?
Being somewhere exciting?
[2/17, 18:34] Hey you
Sorry today i am so exhausted and tired. Work today was terrible. ‍

Of course next time.

Her response didn't make any sense. In future situations like this one you should ask her for clarification like what she meant by 'next time'. I'm guessing that either her English isn't good or she completely misread your message.

 

[Higher]

Thanks gents for your time! Youve been super helpful.

TL;DR
I ended up shooting a "whats your schedule" text. She complied and seems quite receptive ("sure, lemme know when youre back and we catch up"). Im traveling a bit, so ill ping-softclose-hardclose sometime this week or the next.

--

@Karea Ricardus D., @fog --

I read this as "it's totally on, meet up".

typically when a girl says "hey you" through text, this is a big sign she wants to fuck

Top Glad to know my reading was off.

@gameboy, @topcat --

I'd say you"re doing too much second guessing/reading between the lines

Too much reading into the situation and assuming low interest or neutral interest,

Damn yeah man, analysis paralysis. All because im not meeting enough girls (im fixing this).

@Skills, @TomInHo, @FunGuy --

I think she misunderstood your text

She just skimmed and assumed you were like every other guy

I was a bit confused about if you put the entire convo

Yeah, thats the entire convo. Neither of us is a native English-speaker, but yeah, she totally misunderstood.

I had the impression she was being dismissive, maybe on autopilot. Thats why i got a bit colder.

Btw i think some girls really are on autopilot. In-person theyre ok, but they text so much to so many people -- girlfriends, parents, colleagues, wannabe lovers like myself. They dont even read the texts they get, but they think they do.

@topcat --

chasing in women is subtle, receptivity is your greenlight, as slight or nuanced as it may be

Interesting, can you unpack "receptivity" a bit?

 

[topcat]

Interesting, can you unpack "receptivity" a bit?

in a nutshell is she leaning into what you say or do or is she leaning back? lean in when she does lean out when she does, if neutral ask for more compliance to be sure (invite her to engage further in the interaction)

 

[Skills]

TL;DR
I ended up shooting a "whats your schedule" text. She complied and seems quite receptive ("sure, lemme know when youre back and we catch up"). Im traveling a bit, so ill ping-softclose-hardclose sometime this week or the next.

-.

I had the impression she was being dismissive, maybe on autopilot. Thats why i got a bit colder.

Btw i think some girls really are on autopilot. In-person theyre ok, but they text so much to so many people -- girlfriends, parents, colleagues, wannabe lovers like myself. They dont even read the texts they get, but they think they do.

Enki btw, when women are foreign ^ i actually recommend, the traditional old school community texting of text to meet, vs the other structure texting for native speakers:

Calls & Texts - Foreign women texting (no your game language)

Alright guys, so i see this issue a lot, and trust me i already fucked this up many times so you get to enjoy my failures and you don't have to repeat them..... You meet a foreign girl- (for the sake of argument lets call a foreign girl a girl that does not speak your naturally gaming...

www.skilledseducer.com