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Texting guide for guys who hate texting

DoWhatWorks

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
610
I saw a recent post on a guy asking for texting advice and they got so much conflicting advice that it must of been confusing.

A lot of us here have big egos but the fact of the matter is you can consistently get laid with many different styles.

I'm going to outline the way I text because it gets results and it's super short which reduces the chance of messing up. When you're new you tend to get in your own way.

Full disclaimer my approach is a hybrid of: Blackdragon 2.0, Chase and Skills traffic light system.

**big shameless shout out to @Skills - no exaggeration his text guide took my communication to the next level but no offense bro I think your ping every morning advice is "beyond horrible" for newbies ;) hahaha anyway I digress.

Who will this guide work for? Guys who hate texting because they would rather be doing something else.

If you're the extraverted always chatty type then this style or guide isn't for you.

What makes me qualified to write this? I've had a rotation of 3 girls for the last 2 years. A few have lasted 12 months+ with as little as 1 text every 2 weeks.

I have also consistently met up with new girls even after a week or even 2 of radio silence. I do lose a few more girls than my more active counter-parts but the low-maintenance trade off is worth it for me.

Right let's start off with the foundation and some ground rules:

Cardinal rules you should *almost* never break

1. Keep your texts short

Stop writing wayyyyyyyyyy to much. Honestly stop & think if you write over 2 sentences. You should always aim to text half of what she writes or the same at worst.

I'm super particular about this and even "draft" and send whatsapp messages to myself so I know how it will appear. This makes me super concise without seeming blunt.

2. Keep your texts simple

Don't try to add too much in one text. Until you know what you're doing - ask 1 question at a time and make your texts simple and clear

3. Text at "off-peak" times

If you just met a girl and you're texting her on a Friday or Saturday night that says a lot about you. I don't care if you don't have anything to do, fake it if you have to and wait until Sunday

4. Be cool

Don't know how else to say this. Text should be a supplement of you being a cool guy not a way of building an image of you being a cool guy (in my opinion). With my style a lot of the work is done in person. If you're an online guy then make your pics top tier. Be cool also means that you should never as the man have "deep chats" over text or get emotional. Leave that to the girl and if you want to have that conversation just invite her to your place.



This guide could be pages so I'll just write common situation texts and why they work:

Cold approach text

"Hi [name], was cool meeting your [personal fact you learnt about her] , how was [activity she was about to do]"

E.g. "Hi Alexa, cool meeting your non-boring accountant self, how's the rest of your night? - DWW"

So let's break this down. I'm being personal by using her name and mentioning something we spoke about. Then I'm giving her a bit of attention by asking how her night was. This tends to work because what girl doesn't like a bit of attention?

This is where I changed my method as I used to go straight into confirming the date but that had mixed results. Now I confirm the date in the 2nd text and my results went up. I'm essentially pinging to see her buying temperature before closing. Again read skill's
guide for reference. You should already have seeded logistics as per my daygame guide here

I often write this as a voicenote as these type of messages can be long over text. If you prefer texting keep it to 1 maximum 2 sentences.


Making interesting conversation

*Opener to girl on Tinder*

"Hii [X], how did you find living in [German flag] vs [US Flag?]

*girl reply blah blah blah*

"Ahh you must now drink like a sailor [face palm] aha that's cool what do you get up to now in London?"

My investment is short but open so can easily form a big reply and give me many threads to go off. My response is also playful but not overly entertaining. Notice I also ask about what she gets up to because I'm funneling her into sharing her schedule / logistics even in the rapport building phase.

I don't do much of this but the principle here is to force a girl out of auto-pilot and yes or no answers. The way you do this is:

1. Push and pull
2. Open questions
3. The right amount of validation so she wants to respond to you

Won't see a girl in X weeks because of xyz


"Hi [x] cool meeting you, I'll catch you in a week or so, enjoy [xyz]

I think so many guys overthink this scenario. If a girl is into you she will have no problem waiting 1 week and she won't go off the radar.

E.g. "Hi Leanne, random but fun meeting you by the bus stop, see you in a week for drinks and enjoy camping!"

Why does this work? You add something fun and personable, you confirm the date in a casual way so she knows it's definitely happening (you should have already seeded it in) then you wrap it up with enjoy camping! Which is just a nice thing to do so most people will say thank you.

The best bit about this text is you test her level of investment in you dependent on the reply.

**Just remember to text her a few days before the date to re-confirm**

"Hi Leanne, hope camping isn't too stressful in the rain [laugh emoji], we still good for Friday?"

Again this works because it's fun, personable but straight to the point and clear. You're obviously confirming the date but adding a nice warm touch to it.


Girl asks you for social media or finds it weird that you don't text

"Hi [xyz] I'm not much of a texter, I prefer to just be present in person instead"

One of my personal favorites. I'm in my 20's and very much a ghost on social media. At this point 90% of the time it spikes girls interests in me because I appear more mysterious. The other 10% wouldn't be compatible with me anyway.

This is another thing that I think the community overthinks. If you've given a solid impression, are clearly cool and normal then you'll be fine.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,645
I saw a recent post on a guy asking for texting advice and they got so much conflicting advice that it must of been confusing.

A lot of us here have big egos but the fact of the matter is you can consistently get laid with many different styles.

I'm going to outline the way I text because it gets results and it's super short which reduces the chance of messing up. When you're new you tend to get in your own way.

Full disclaimer my approach is a hybrid of: Blackdragon 2.0, Chase and Skills traffic light system.

**big shameless shout out to @Skills - no exaggeration his text guide took my communication to the next level but no offense bro I think your ping every morning advice is "beyond horrible" for newbies ;) hahaha anyway I digress.

Who will this guide work for? Guys who hate texting because they would rather be doing something else.

If you're the extraverted always chatty type then this style or guide isn't for you.

What makes me qualified to write this? I've had a rotation of 3 girls for the last 2 years. A few have lasted 12 months+ with as little as 1 text every 2 weeks.

I have also consistently met up with new girls even after a week or even 2 of radio silence. I do lose a few more girls than my more active counter-parts but the low-maintenance trade off is worth it for me.

Right let's start off with the foundation and some ground rules:

Cardinal rules you should *almost* never break

1. Keep your texts short

Stop writing wayyyyyyyyyy to much. Honestly stop & think if you write over 2 sentences. You should always aim to text half of what she writes or the same at worst.

I'm super particular about this and even "draft" and send whatsapp messages to myself so I know how it will appear. This makes me super concise without seeming blunt.

2. Keep your texts simple

Don't try to add too much in one text. Until you know what you're doing - ask 1 question at a time and make your texts simple and clear

3. Text at "off-peak" times

If you just met a girl and you're texting her on a Friday or Saturday night that says a lot about you. I don't care if you don't have anything to do, fake it if you have to and wait until Sunday

4. Be cool

Don't know how else to say this. Text should be a supplement of you being a cool guy not a way of building an image of you being a cool guy (in my opinion). With my style a lot of the work is done in person. If you're an online guy then make your pics top tier. Be cool also means that you should never as the man have "deep chats" over text or get emotional. Leave that to the girl and if you want to have that conversation just invite her to your place.



This guide could be pages so I'll just write common situation texts and why they work:

Cold approach text

"Hi [name], was cool meeting your [personal fact you learnt about her] , how was [activity she was about to do]"

E.g. "Hi Alexa, cool meeting your non-boring accountant self, how's the rest of your night? - DWW"

So let's break this down. I'm being personal by using her name and mentioning something we spoke about. Then I'm giving her a bit of attention by asking how her night was. This tends to work because what girl doesn't like a bit of attention?

This is where I changed my method as I used to go straight into confirming the date but that had mixed results. Now I confirm the date in the 2nd text and my results went up. I'm essentially pinging to see her buying temperature before closing. Again read skill's
guide for reference. You should already have seeded logistics as per my daygame guide here

I often write this as a voicenote as these type of messages can be long over text. If you prefer texting keep it to 1 maximum 2 sentences.


Making interesting conversation

*Opener to girl on Tinder*

"Hii [X], how did you find living in [German flag] vs [US Flag?]

*girl reply blah blah blah*

"Ahh you must now drink like a sailor [face palm] aha that's cool what do you get up to now in London?"

My investment is short but open so can easily form a big reply and give me many threads to go off. My response is also playful but not overly entertaining. Notice I also ask about what she gets up to because I'm funneling her into sharing her schedule / logistics even in the rapport building phase.

I don't do much of this but the principle here is to force a girl out of auto-pilot and yes or no answers. The way you do this is:

1. Push and pull
2. Open questions
3. The right amount of validation so she wants to respond to you

Won't see a girl in X weeks because of xyz

"Hi [x] cool meeting you, I'll catch you in a week or so, enjoy [xyz]

I think so many guys overthink this scenario. If a girl is into you she will have no problem waiting 1 week and she won't go off the radar.

E.g. "Hi Leanne, random but fun meeting you by the bus stop, see you in a week for drinks and enjoy camping!"

Why does this work? You add something fun and personable, you confirm the date in a casual way so she knows it's definitely happening (you should have already seeded it in) then you wrap it up with enjoy camping! Which is just a nice thing to do so most people will say thank you.

The best bit about this text is you test her level of investment in you dependent on the reply.

**Just remember to text her a few days before the date to re-confirm**

"Hi Leanne, hope camping isn't too stressful in the rain [laugh emoji], we still good for Friday?"

Again this works because it's fun, personable but straight to the point and clear. You're obviously confirming the date but adding a nice warm touch to it.


Girl asks you for social media or finds it weird that you don't text

"Hi [xyz] I'm not much of a texter, I prefer to just be present in person instead"

One of my personal favorites. I'm in my 20's and very much a ghost on social media. At this point 90% of the time it spikes girls interests in me because I appear more mysterious. The other 10% wouldn't be compatible with me anyway.

This is another thing that I think the community overthinks. If you've given a solid impression, are clearly cool and normal then you'll be fine.
Did you see my explanation, https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...morning-and-the-why-it-works-as-a-ping.24525/


I told niko to use the eyes ping and it worked you can use eyes emoji or morning with sun it works...
 

DoWhatWorks

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
610
Did you see my explanation, https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...morning-and-the-why-it-works-as-a-ping.24525/


I told niko to use the eyes ping and it worked you can use eyes emoji or morning with sun it works...

We'll agree to disagree here. I love 90% of your stuff and it may just be a preference/cultural thing.

In the UK morning texts are very boyfriend like. If I pinged morning texts to number grabs I'd get blocked before I'd get a date *shrugs*

Also remember that you probably don't text everyday as you have girls in your life to keep you busy. A lot of newbies aren't in that position so they'll scream desperation rather than low effort.

If it works for you and others all good - I won't hate on it.
 

William Wallace

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 13, 2020
Messages
163
i hate texting.
Texting the most despicable art of communication in the modern world devoid of all emotion and fluidity.

although I'm not used to voicing chatting or calling unless sitting in front of my computer where I guess I'm accustomed to talking to strangers for years?
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Vision

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jul 3, 2020
Messages
324
I appreciate the texting advice!
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,645
i hate texting.
Texting the most despicable art of communication in the modern world devoid of all emotion and fluidity.

although I'm not used to voicing chatting or calling unless sitting in front of my computer where I guess I'm accustomed to talking to strangers for years?
We hate the things we don't master if you don't know how to text you are missing lots of lays cause most girls I don't care how good your game is won't fuck you right away
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,645
In the UK morning texts are very boyfriend like. If I pinged morning texts to number grabs I'd get blocked before I'd get a date *shrugs*
Obviously you will not use morning to a number grab that would beyond horrible advice and I never recommended that, I said in the context of a ping in certain situations...but you can use the eyes emoji or any other ping, for me this one has worked and prior to the girl that did this to me and I saw how she applied it to me I would have thought the same...
 

Vision

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jul 3, 2020
Messages
324
Most of the guys I know who are good texters and whose texting game doesn't actually inhibit their ability to get laid by overtexting are guys who put in shit tons of hours... most of the guys I've met who are really good at it, it's a part of their personality... and part of me wonders whether it's always been a part of their personality or not...

Most of the guys who are really good with texting seem to be oddly incredibly chatty types of people... maybe extrovert, maybe just super sociable, not sure what the pattern is with it.

It could be something that they just naturally ended up picking up. I've never had anyone who was very good at explaining why their long texting works or give a really good system for long text game that makes any sense from a replication standpoint.

I've definitely lost girls from trying to text them more than I should instead of just meeting up with them... I've lost girls from texting the wrong shit and then they decided not to meet up after that.

I've never got a girl who wasn't into me from using any texting technique that anyone has ever shown me before... they might get excited in the moment but that eventually wears off and they flake or whatever. I'm sure it could happen... I think I'm missing whatever element I would need to make it happen though.

I've tried a lot of shit with texting...

I did send this girl a copy/paste thing from an NLP seduction manual that I had (back in 2004) that eventually got her to come over and hook up with me and she became my girlfriend but I don't know if that wouldn't have happened if I didn't meet up with her and win her over that way before I sent the text... maybe it enhanced what it was that I was doing? Probably...

Didn't turn someone who was cold into someone who was hot though.

I haven't read skills guide though... maybe that'll work for me? Until then, I'll keep my texts short because it works a lot better for me.

I think Hector is coming out with a texting program soon. Curious to see what's inside of that.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,645
Most of the guys I know who are good texters and whose texting game doesn't actually inhibit their ability to get laid by overtexting are guys who put in shit tons of hours... most of the guys I've met who are really good at it, it's a part of their personality... and part of me wonders whether it's always been a part of their personality or not...

Most of the guys who are really good with texting seem to be oddly incredibly chatty types of people... maybe extrovert, maybe just super sociable, not sure what the pattern is with it.

It could be something that they just naturally ended up picking up. I've never had anyone who was very good at explaining why their long texting works or give a really good system for long text game that makes any sense from a replication standpoint.

I've definitely lost girls from trying to text them more than I should instead of just meeting up with them... I've lost girls from texting the wrong shit and then they decided not to meet up after that.

I've never got a girl who wasn't into me from using any texting technique that anyone has ever shown me before... they might get excited in the moment but that eventually wears off and they flake or whatever. I'm sure it could happen... I think I'm missing whatever element I would need to make it happen though.

I've tried a lot of shit with texting...

I did send this girl a copy/paste thing from an NLP seduction manual that I had (back in 2004) that eventually got her to come over and hook up with me and she became my girlfriend but I don't know if that wouldn't have happened if I didn't meet up with her and win her over that way before I sent the text... maybe it enhanced what it was that I was doing? Probably...

Didn't turn someone who was cold into someone who was hot though.

I haven't read skills guide though... maybe that'll work for me? Until then, I'll keep my texts short because it works a lot better for me.

I think Hector is coming out with a texting program soon. Curious to see what's inside of that.
I got good at texting cause I had no choice cause I couldn't speak English well and I did mainly not verbal physical game... you will lose girls long or short texting if the girl is not into you, but with good texting and long you can do crazy shit cause you make them invest, they project on to you visions of attributes they want, you can do sexual frames, you can get them to fall madly in love with you (prison convicts letters) and the likes, the hours is a perception, Google voice helps.. but yes no many guys have cool personalities that translate well on text... but is cause they don't try, when they try, they are actually decent. Best is to do a journal and post titles or check cool texting and pick a thing or 2 and field test...I tried the pua advice of short texting when I did online the first time, got me 0 lays, I don't even understand how guys make it work.
 

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
1,217
"Short texting" was popularized by BD way way back when guys were still trying to figure out how to game via text. Players tried to use their live tactics, but they didn't work. So BD came in and filled that void of online game. But the grass was greener back then and you could get away with bad texting, especially if you had decent photos.

Now EVERYBODY flirts via text (even your grandma is doing it). That shining effect of "new tech available" is gone. So longer texting is kinda of mandatory now (or at least, longer than it was say 3-4 years ago). As with everything, to be successful you have to be on the top 10% of the field.
 
Last edited:

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
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Messages
1,217
Most of the guys I know who are good texters and whose texting game doesn't actually inhibit their ability to get laid by overtexting are guys who put in shit tons of hours... most of the guys I've met who are really good at it, it's a part of their personality... and part of me wonders whether it's always been a part of their personality or not...

That's an interesting theory....but long hours and trail and error is still required
Most of the guys who are really good with texting seem to be oddly incredibly chatty types of people... maybe extrovert, maybe just super sociable, not sure what the pattern is with it.
Not true in my experience. I don't talk much and I'm the definition of introvert, but my texting never shows an inch of it. And most famous writers are introverts too. I think this has more to do with the form that you choose to express yourself than with a personality trait.
 

Vision

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
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Messages
324
That's an interesting theory....but long hours and trail and error is still required

Not true in my experience. I don't talk much and I'm the definition of introvert, but my texting never shows an inch of it. And most famous writers are introverts too. I think this has more to do with the form that you choose to express yourself than with a personality trait.

Yeah, you're almost certainly right here.

In fact, most women I date think I'm an extrovert because of my learned social skills and I'm definitely not an extrovert.

What I was saying is probably more a reflection of limiting beliefs that have prevented me from developing my texting skills than anything based in reality.
 
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