Calls & Texts Texting your girlfriend?

[Friday]

Hey guys,

I'm in high school and girls often tell me they hate it when their boyfriends/guys they like don't reply to them through text. They claim that it's rude and if the guy really cares about them, the guy will make time to reply. It sounds like not texting a girl will send them straight into auto-reject, yet Chase says you should ONLY text a girl to set up dates.

But if I plan on making a girl my girlfriend, should I text her when she texts me? It seems like girls (my age at least) think of it as their boyfriend's duty to text them constantly and get offended if they don't. I'd like to only text to set up dates and actually build rapport and emotional connections in person, but I don't want to send her into auto-reject.

What are you guys' thoughts on this?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hi Friday,

Hey guys,

I'm in high school and girls often tell me they hate it when their boyfriends/guys they like don't reply to them through text. They claim that it's rude and if the guy really cares about them, the guy will make time to reply. It sounds like not texting a girl will send them straight into auto-reject, yet Chase says you should ONLY text a girl to set up dates.

But if I plan on making a girl my girlfriend, should I text her when she texts me? It seems like girls (my age at least) think of it as their boyfriend's duty to text them constantly and get offended if they don't. I'd like to only text to set up dates and actually build rapport and emotional connections in person, but I don't want to send her into auto-reject.

What are you guys' thoughts on this?

Just reply to her, make it warmth, If she sends three text, reply one. I have girls sending me messages like this. just don't make a big deal out of it, and she will not make big deal out of it.

Her: Hi Zac!

*no response*

Her: Seems like you busy!

Zac: Haha!! ( or i just reply )


Zac

 

[Anonymous]

I'm going through that right now with my girlfriend. (We're in colleg so only a couple years older than you)...Anyway, in my opinion 80% of texting is small talk: "how was your day?" "I haven't seen you in forever, how have you been?"

Its not a personal form of communication at all. Yes it is possible to flirt via text, but its not nearly as effective.

So what is the other 20% in my opinion? Meaningful conversation?......I don't really think so. It is mostly like you said, finding out each others schedules and making dates, but that can't account for all of it, can it?

Girls in our age group are still very insecure about men. They think the worst of us and that if we don't text them back its because were cheating on them or we don't like them or we've moved on, when in reality that is usually very far from the case. This can work to our advantage though... I honestly reccomend reading Chase's artical https://www.girlschase.com/content/teasing-girl-right-way....It has some pretty good tips, and there is one other article that I can't find right now, but I will post the link when I find it.

Best of luck,

Ethan

 

[Garrett]

Hey guys,

I'm in high school and girls often tell me they hate it when their boyfriends/guys they like don't reply to them through text. They claim that it's rude and if the guy really cares about them, the guy will make time to reply. It sounds like not texting a girl will send them straight into auto-reject, yet Chase says you should ONLY text a girl to set up dates.

But if I plan on making a girl my girlfriend, should I text her when she texts me? It seems like girls (my age at least) think of it as their boyfriend's duty to text them constantly and get offended if they don't. I'd like to only text to set up dates and actually build rapport and emotional connections in person, but I don't want to send her into auto-reject.

What are you guys' thoughts on this?

Friday,

Zac and Ethan have provided you with some good advice . I know Chase says to only use texting for setting up dates, but being in a relationship is a whole other ballgame in itself. When you are trying to get dates with girls, only text to meetup and cut the fat. When it's your girlfriend texting you, you should respond, and respond warmly. Don't be the one to initiate the conversation like, "Hey honey, how's your day?" If she sends that to you, you could respond warmly. If you don't want to get into text conversations, the next time you see her you can tell her you're busy (you should actually be busy for this to work optimally), and that you don't like texting unless it's to meetup. When you say this, make sure you explain yourself warmly though because I did that and the girl who I was just trying to be friends with went a bit cold/challenging to me, even though I framed the relationship as just friends the entire time. I told her via text that I don't do text conversations without explaining myself, and maybe she took offense to that, but when I was trying to text her to meetup her responses were ice cold compared to before. If you aren't the best at texting, better to explain this to her in person that way she won't take it the wrong way .

Cheers,
Garrett

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hey guys,

I'm in high school and girls often tell me they hate it when their boyfriends/guys they like don't reply to them through text. They claim that it's rude and if the guy really cares about them, the guy will make time to reply. It sounds like not texting a girl will send them straight into auto-reject, yet Chase says you should ONLY text a girl to set up dates.

But if I plan on making a girl my girlfriend, should I text her when she texts me? It seems like girls (my age at least) think of it as their boyfriend's duty to text them constantly and get offended if they don't. I'd like to only text to set up dates and actually build rapport and emotional connections in person, but I don't want to send her into auto-reject.

What are you guys' thoughts on this?

Hey Friday,

It doesn't matter if you've married to a woman for 10 years or just started a relationship with her, you must remember to keep your texts MINIMAL. I would not ignore her texts, but keep your responses warm and brief and do not encourage the behavior with followup questions.

The big problem with a lot of texting has to do with security. If you and your girl are texting a lot, she will begin to feel VERY secure in the relationship. After all, how could you cheat on her if you're just a text away? This is the main reason why she wants to be in constant contact with you. If you provide her with so much of the security she craves you will undoubtedly look weak and we all know how much women HATE weakness. Here's what you can expect when you text a lot in your relationship:

1) Less face to face time - Why would she need to see you after you provided her with so many good feelings with all that texting? See Chases article on "Over Providing Good Feelings"

2) More Friend than Lover - If you're a man in a relationship with a woman you are called to be Lover, Friend, and Provider all in one. All the texting increases your friend status and lowers your lover status.

3) You Will Look Weak - This one is huge. When she has got you locked down with all that texting, she doesn't have to worry about other women potentially taking her place. She won't be able to put her finger on the cause because it happens subconsciously, but her attraction for you will dip as she starts to question your desirability.

So keep doing what you're doing Friday. Women won't like it at first that you don't text them enough, but by keeping texting minimal, you remain leader of the relationship like it should be.