LR That hot tourist

[Higher]

This started on thursday last week.

APPROACHING HER

Im seated on a bench near the river in a nearby city, and i spot the naturally beautiful girl with backpack and camera mentioned here walking in my direction.

I casually stand up, look elsewhere and walk in the same direction before she reaches me, making sure i keep track of her with my peripheral vision. When the moment is right, i open with the usual pic opener, i compliment her and then we go for a walk. Shes a tourist and in the city just for a few days.

I move us around a couple spots, we grab coffee and we connect on many good topics. Small bonus: the coffee girl is pretty cute too, we all vibe and that gives me some sorta social proof as well.

We go to a park, sit on a bench there and i seed a date in my city. At some point tho i sorta second-guess myself about her emotional state: am i attractive to her or does she see me just as a nice conversational buddy? This causes me to just tell her, alright look, i gotta go now, but if u wanna drop by my city one of these days lemme know. I usually consider this to be a mistake, as it puts quite a bit of pressure on her to take initiative and lead. Anyway we exchange numbers and thats it.

TEXTING

Time skip to saturday last week. Im on a spontaneous short trip to visit a girl i know abroad, and i mentally check off seeing the tourist girl again, as 1) my invite was weak, and 2) i recall she was leaving on the day im supposed to fly back. But then she pings me. I tell her id have loved to see her and too bad itll never happen, but she tells me, easy, ill be here until saturday next week. So thats awesome, games still on.

(Btw on that saturday i got pinged by other girls too, got lots of iois from girls around me and got opened informational by a cute girl in the subway. I guess girls were especially horny that day.)

I ping her again as soon as im back and i soft close her for a meet in my city (as we agreed last week). She happily agrees, but then i fumble a bit on the hard close. She probably feels im a bit too pushy, pulls back slightly and changes topic. I feel that she likes me but shes worried, so i send her a videomessage telling her, look, we dont have to meet in my city, i just felt we had great energy, i wanna experience that again and we can meet wherever. We text a bit, she seems more relaxed now and we agree to meet on thursday (2 days ago) in her city.

MEETING AGAIN AND INVITING HER OVER

Thursday comes and we catch up in her city. Btw this girl is very street-smart and has high social calibration, and i love that. We bounce in a couple places i like, then invite her to my city. Her body language closes up a bit. I tell her, i know we dont know and we dont trust each other, but i dont wanna rob u or hurt u in any way or push u to do things u dont wanna do. I also show her a map of my city along with some pictures. In the end she agrees and we catch the train.

On the way to my city we chit-chat and i tell her some stuff about the country. Once in my city we go to the lake and sit down in a nice spot with other people and some bars nearby. After a short while i tell her, look, would be nice to have a drink, we can go to my place and grab a bottle of wine and come back here, or we can grab a drink in any of these bars. She agrees to grabbing a bottle, so we go to my place.

AT MY PLACE

Once at my place i tour her around and show her my paintings, she uses the toilet and i fix some water. I grab a bottle of wine and tell her, this is good wine, we can either go back to the lake and drink it there or we can stay here since its cloudy out and we cant see the sunset, what do u say? She replies with, whats the easiest option? Damn, this girl is cool.

We sit on the sofa, we chat a bit and i pour wine and water. She doesnt drink much of either, shes probably still a bit on guard. I dont mind it, i put some music and sit closer to her. I touch her a bit, then go for the kiss. We quickly switch to making out and touching each other quite a bit. Then i take her hand and lead us to the bedroom.

She has an amazing body, very toned and flexible, and shes got a great ass. Shes 38, but she looks 10 years younger. Such a natural beauty with great personality. Easily an 8 to me, if not higher. First round i cant get fully hard, im quite tense, but i make her come with my hands and then come on her body. After a short while shes still horny and we go for another round. This time its a bit better, i get hard and get into her, i fuck her missionary for 10-15 minutes, and again i come on her body. Not the best performance, but whatever. We cuddle a bit, i tell her she can sleep over (its late and shes 1h away from her place), and that well get breakfast tomorrow and ill tour her around the old city. She happily accepts, we go for a shower and then to sleep.

THE NEXT DAY

The next morning we cuddle a bit and go for a third round. Again i cant get hard enough. I try to make her come, but to no avail, and she touches me and makes me come.

We get dressed, get out and walk a bit in the old city. We get food and go back home. I could have kissed her again and gone for a fourth round, i was probably still nervous. But anyway, we chat, she shows me some funny stuff about her country on her phone, some youtube videos and then we go to the station and hug goodbye.

Follow-up texting is good, she suggests i come visit her country some time. I invite her again on saturday before she leaves, but she declines (i didnt bang her properly after all and gave her only one orgasm, while i came 3 times).

INSIGHTS

Being able to calibrate and persist in a chill, laid-back way when she pulls back a bit is one of the most important skills u can develop in this game. Some time ago id read any tentativeness on a girls side as a rejection or as her "playing games", the thought of which is pretty ridiculous now. Shes texting u, she might not be comfortable yet for what ure asking, but she likes u. Be cool, pull back a bit and recalibrate.

I was also a bit thrown off by her "friendly" vibe at the beginning, i thought she saw me just as a sociable, chatty guy. Now i learned that focusing on a girls reactions is confusing - better to focus on seduction-oriented topics and on compliance instead (inviting her to do small, low-effort things that bring the two of u closer together, while calibrating along the way). This simplifies the whole thing by a lot.

I could have kissed her again when back from getting food, and maybe go for another round. I think i was still a bit tense and anticipating performance anxiety. But i also suspect that at this point in my journey im more thrilled by the "hunt" rather than by the sex itself. Im sure ill evolve and put more focus on the pleasure of sex soon, but for now it is what it is. Still pretty happy with my progress and current level, finally seeing some good results.

In the second round i fucked her without condom, not a smart move at all. Hope i didnt get any stds, ill get tested these days. Still, it surprised me that she let me do that, being a street-smart girl and all.

I didnt make her come enough. Gotta make it happen next time. Fuck her, go down on her, finger her, doesnt matter. Not good if im the only one that comes. Gotta take better care of these girls.

 

[DarkJedi]

Nice LR man. Smooth open and smooth persistence.

I ping her again as soon as im back and i soft close her for a meet in my city (as we agreed last week). She happily agrees, but then i fumble a bit on the hard close. She probably feels im a bit too pushy, pulls back slightly and changes topic. I feel that she likes me but shes worried, so i send her a videomessage telling her, look, we dont have to meet in my city, i just felt we had great energy, i wanna experience that again and we can meet wherever. We text a bit, she seems more relaxed now and we agree to meet on thursday (2 days ago) in her city.

Ahh the dreaded texting problems lol. Good that you recovered. Can you give us a bit more play-by-play of the texting?

 

[Higher]

Thanks @DarkJedi!

Sure, so first off, i was sure she liked me because she pinged me a few days earlier when i was away (i had almost given up on her, i was convinced she was going to leave soon). I also knew that sex was on the table because we have been talking about it (among other things) in person.

With this frame i could easily read her subtext, take objections and calmly address them.

Spoiler: Scheduling and fumbling

(im back and i ping her)
hey!
(bla bla)
(bla bla)
btw u havent been in my city yet have u?
no not yet actually, is it nice?
yeah (bla bla) i promised u a tour and some wine before u leave
sounds good! (ok so she buys the soft close)
do u have instagram? (im a perfect stranger to her after all, and im asking her to come to a city that she doesnt know in a country that she doesnt know)
no im too boring for social media
cool lets do it then! ill be in my city tonight, tomorrow night as well i think (mistake: trying to hard close for tonight; i knew she had just a few days, but best practice would have been to first ask when shes free)
u told me ure not on social media, but u dont even have facebook?? how old are u?? (she ignores the hard close and tries to get more info about me)
do u live there? (i feel shes panicking a little)
is there something i cant miss visiting in this city? i crave information! (of course she craves info, but about me, not the city)
ok look, lets have a quick videocall, ure worried (way easier to talk than to write)
haha what worries me is that u never had facebook
(i send her a videomessage in which i tell her, look, we dont have to meet in my city, i liked ur energy and wanted to experience it again, doesnt matter where we meet, we can catch up in ur city too)
(she seems way more relaxed) easy, i was joking! my sense of humor can be strange at times
i can meet u in ur city or mine, doesnt matter, i like visiting new places
(here i fumble again) ok nice (bla bla) so we can meet in ur city today in the next 1-2h and see if we wanna go together to my city, u know im spontaneous, or we can meet tomorrow directly in my city, up to u (horrible text now that i read it again, im being pushy)
ok i also like not to plan, at least in my vacations. im walking around in X right now, ill text u later and well see where to meet (pretty smart, she doesnt comply to my pushiness but doesnt reject me either)
sounds good, talk to u later!
(after 3h) well, i suppose ure already back home and its now late, but ill be in my city tomorrow and we can meet if u want
sure, we can do, ill be there as well to meet some friends over lunch, then i have the day more or less free. will text u!
cool, ill be there after lunch too!

Ok, so the damage has been controlled somehow, mostly thanks to her social skills. It was clear to me that she wanted to meet but i was asking her for too much compliance at this stage. I dont know what i was doing.

Spoiler: The next day

good morning
good morning! (in my language)
nice! im meeting my friends now, ill be free around 4-5pm
ok, text me later!
...
hey, ill be around and free at 5. u around already?
hi, im walking around
ok ill be in X at 5, we can grab a drink and sit at the river, i know a couple spots
ok look, my phone is dying, send me a location and ill meet u there (smart, ofc she wants to check beforehand where im gonna take her)
(i send a gmap link to the place) super central place
ok ill be there in 20min

And thats it.

Its not the first time i get a girl to agree on the soft close but then she sorta pulls back on the hard close. Im pushy sometimes, not good. Will work on this.

 

[DarkJedi]

Thanks for the full play-by-play, and adding your own thoughts!

Yeah seems like she's the carefree free-spirited type, and was very into you. Good stuff man!

I can recognize this fumbling tendency in my texting as well. I think its a lot to do with anxiety and second-guessing. In-person is so much better

 

[ChrisXKiss]

This is really interesting, I feel I am recognising similar issues with my text game here. I guess my general problem regarding how and when to soft and hard close is the balance between creating enough rapport that she feels comfortable, but not too much that I just miss the window of asking her out.

The video message really helped to create the comfort, great move, maybe it's something I should start using more as well, I have been doing audio messages, but it's probably even more powerful for girls that are on the fence. I had a similar situation with a girl some days ago in fact, we chatted for a bit, I asked her out, she asked for instagram obviously to check if I am normal, I told her I don't have one which is true, then proceeded to plan a date for a time she had already told me she would be free, and eventually she flaked. So sometimes it's good to know that you have to go fast, but also not rush.

Regarding the closing texts, I think that going for the close was a good move, she wouldn't be around a lot and you already had some rapport. But it feels like you got too specific about when to meet, giving the options of some hours today, or tomorrow, which felt like you really wanted to plan it. Again I am also guilty of this, because I like being fairly clear with my schedule, and don't want to go do something else and then have to tell her that I can't meet now.

But I suppose that this is exactly the point in the end. That by living your life and simply being spontaneous you show her that meeting this random tourist is not your first priority, you have a life. Surely it would be fine to meet, if your schedules align, but you are not desperate and could live without it.

I feel that being ready to be spontaneous is something that is not discussed a lot in fact. We take numbers and try to plan dates, and sometimes it can work because you are both busy and it makes sense to find a certain time, but with some types of women that go with the flow, or are on vacation it can be too restrictive and even seem needy.

Regarding that I also liked your casual leading back home. This girl was clearly understanding what was going on, was aware of the sexual element of the interaction and just needed something smooth. I would have probably gone with something straight like: "Let's go for a wine at my place", or afterwards "Let's just stay here and drink it", but I don't think it would have been a great choice, because this girl does not want to be pushed around. She was already committed, so I feel that you giving the option to either stay home or go drink it outside assured her that you are cool, like her company either way and are not trying hard to get to sex.

Maybe with a young not very experienced girl, this wouldn't have worked that well, because she wouldn't be as socially attuned, but with this kind of woman that knows who she is and what she wants, it's perfect.

 

[Higher]

But it feels like you got too specific about when to meet, giving the options of some hours today, or tomorrow, which felt like you really wanted to plan it.

Yeah, good point. I made this mistake a few times already - time to fix it.

Surely it would be fine to meet, if your schedules align, but you are not desperate and could live without it.

I feel that being ready to be spontaneous is something that is not discussed a lot in fact.

I feel that you giving the option to either stay home or go drink it outside assured her that you are cool, like her company either way and are not trying hard to get to sex.

Thanks for the analysis @ChrisXKiss, really helps cementing these mindsets.