- Joined
- Jun 13, 2013
- Messages
- 512
There's a ton of good info on the site by a number of excellent writers. I don't want to step on any toes, nor do I really plan on making a habit of posts like these when there are already skilled writers here. But, I've noticed something that I wanted to share about a very important mindset that I think is often overlooked. So here it goes:
I wanted to share my thoughts on an issue that, although it is almost overly discussed when it comes to seduction, is still misunderstood. A lot of guys seem to confuse the “abundance mentality” with validation-seeking behaviour. They also forget the underlying point of having abundance:
It gives you the ability to walk away.
This is key! The reason why so many people stay in situations they are unhappy with is they do not have the confidence in knowing if they walk away, there are still great opportunities elsewhere. How many times have you heard people complain about:
-their partner (or even worse, their husband or wife)
-their job
-their friends
Sometimes, they may only be complaining about minor annoyances (though in my experience, any complaint is usually an issue needing resolution), but other times, these complaints are so drastic, you bang your head against the wall trying to figure out why they stay in that situation. You’ve heard it all before:
-The girl that talks about how she feels unappreciated by her cheating boyfriend. Although she keeps telling herself he can change.
-The guy who has been at the same job, underpaid, and passed over on that promotion time after time. Although he keeps telling himself that promotion is coming and things will get better and work out for him.
-A group of friends that incessantly talk behind each other’s backs and cause so much drama it would make reality T.V. executives blush.
Why do these people stay in these obviously poisonous situations?
Simple: They do not have the ability to walk away.
And that’s what abundance is, the realization that:
-If you’re current job doesn’t fulfill your needs, there are a ton of employers in the world that will give you better opportunities.
-If your friends aren’t respecting you and appreciating you, I’m sure you can find new ones in the 7 billion people on this planet.
-If your expectations aren’t being met in your relationship, leave.
Yes, it’s that simple. Make all the excuses you want about how relationships take work, or friends (who are taking advantage of you) are hard to come by, or you’re not the type of person to ditch because you’re a true friend. Although there may be some truths in these excuses, is it really worth your happiness?
And it seems that when someone becomes complacent and comfortable in a situation, even if they once had abundance in mind, it dwindles over time with the amount of investment they have in any given situation. I’ve seen it before where a guy that used to have abundance stays in an unhealthy relationship because they have been together for so long and so much has been invested. Abundance should always be there in the back of your mind, reminding you that if the situation no longer meets your expectations, you walk away.
Now the other problem I’ve seen is what I was referring to earlier…validation-seeking behaviour.
I have a friend who’s, by far, the best I have seen in seduction. Regardless of the fact he constantly sleeps with new, attractive women, as soon as he hits any sort of dry spell, he loses confidence and his mood changes. Every time he sleeps with a new girl. It boosts his self-esteem. And I have noticed this with other people as well. Their number of partners can be 20, 50 , 70, 500 even, but as soon as it stops for any amount of time, they start to lose confidence. Reason being is that they need the validation of sleeping with a new, beautiful girl in order to feel confident.
Truly confident and secure people are still confident and secure when their whole world shatters around them. This is a very small percentage of people, as most people gain confidence by looking around and seeing their accomplishments, not by realizing they accomplished them. And I assure you, there is a world of difference.
KNOWING you have done something once makes you realize you can do it again. Here's an example:
Let's say you have a confident, successful CEO and take him out of his lifestyle and throw him into poverty. Remove him of any contacts and resources he had so he starts out at absolute zero. Only leaving him armed with the knowledge he succeeded once before. Now, if he was truly skilled and confident, he will climb his way back up to the top. Because he didn’t gain his confidence by the fact he was a rich tycoon. He gained his confidence in the realization of his capabilities. The same is true in all other aspects in life.
So, in closing,
If you have slept with a beautiful girl once, you can do it again. Have confidence in your abilities to repeat your successes time and time again!
And. Never, ever lose your ability to walk away.
Regards,
-Doc
I wanted to share my thoughts on an issue that, although it is almost overly discussed when it comes to seduction, is still misunderstood. A lot of guys seem to confuse the “abundance mentality” with validation-seeking behaviour. They also forget the underlying point of having abundance:
It gives you the ability to walk away.
This is key! The reason why so many people stay in situations they are unhappy with is they do not have the confidence in knowing if they walk away, there are still great opportunities elsewhere. How many times have you heard people complain about:
-their partner (or even worse, their husband or wife)
-their job
-their friends
Sometimes, they may only be complaining about minor annoyances (though in my experience, any complaint is usually an issue needing resolution), but other times, these complaints are so drastic, you bang your head against the wall trying to figure out why they stay in that situation. You’ve heard it all before:
-The girl that talks about how she feels unappreciated by her cheating boyfriend. Although she keeps telling herself he can change.
-The guy who has been at the same job, underpaid, and passed over on that promotion time after time. Although he keeps telling himself that promotion is coming and things will get better and work out for him.
-A group of friends that incessantly talk behind each other’s backs and cause so much drama it would make reality T.V. executives blush.
Why do these people stay in these obviously poisonous situations?
Simple: They do not have the ability to walk away.
And that’s what abundance is, the realization that:
-If you’re current job doesn’t fulfill your needs, there are a ton of employers in the world that will give you better opportunities.
-If your friends aren’t respecting you and appreciating you, I’m sure you can find new ones in the 7 billion people on this planet.
-If your expectations aren’t being met in your relationship, leave.
Yes, it’s that simple. Make all the excuses you want about how relationships take work, or friends (who are taking advantage of you) are hard to come by, or you’re not the type of person to ditch because you’re a true friend. Although there may be some truths in these excuses, is it really worth your happiness?
And it seems that when someone becomes complacent and comfortable in a situation, even if they once had abundance in mind, it dwindles over time with the amount of investment they have in any given situation. I’ve seen it before where a guy that used to have abundance stays in an unhealthy relationship because they have been together for so long and so much has been invested. Abundance should always be there in the back of your mind, reminding you that if the situation no longer meets your expectations, you walk away.
Now the other problem I’ve seen is what I was referring to earlier…validation-seeking behaviour.
I have a friend who’s, by far, the best I have seen in seduction. Regardless of the fact he constantly sleeps with new, attractive women, as soon as he hits any sort of dry spell, he loses confidence and his mood changes. Every time he sleeps with a new girl. It boosts his self-esteem. And I have noticed this with other people as well. Their number of partners can be 20, 50 , 70, 500 even, but as soon as it stops for any amount of time, they start to lose confidence. Reason being is that they need the validation of sleeping with a new, beautiful girl in order to feel confident.
Truly confident and secure people are still confident and secure when their whole world shatters around them. This is a very small percentage of people, as most people gain confidence by looking around and seeing their accomplishments, not by realizing they accomplished them. And I assure you, there is a world of difference.
KNOWING you have done something once makes you realize you can do it again. Here's an example:
Let's say you have a confident, successful CEO and take him out of his lifestyle and throw him into poverty. Remove him of any contacts and resources he had so he starts out at absolute zero. Only leaving him armed with the knowledge he succeeded once before. Now, if he was truly skilled and confident, he will climb his way back up to the top. Because he didn’t gain his confidence by the fact he was a rich tycoon. He gained his confidence in the realization of his capabilities. The same is true in all other aspects in life.
So, in closing,
If you have slept with a beautiful girl once, you can do it again. Have confidence in your abilities to repeat your successes time and time again!
And. Never, ever lose your ability to walk away.
Regards,
-Doc
