Openers The Approach Power Dynamic (Pre-Opening)

[Ross]

Whilst on a walk through the now barren college campus, I started to ponder upon what made an approach excellent. What made some of my approaches awkward, whereas others were warm, smooth, and effortless?

I recalled an article about elite eye contact and how it was ideal that a woman look at you before you meet her gaze. But that rarely happened on the streets for me, and whenever I tried it things would often devolve into her feeling some form of awkwardness. She would appear closed off to approach, shutting her eyes to the side almost like she was embarrassed for having looked at me. Any form of approach would be met with a shy awkwardness on her part, almost like an instant auto-rejection.

After realizing that, I started thinking about relationships of mine that were extremely smooth at the beginning. And they all had a common theme - the women had seen me before I had seen them. these girls wanted to meet me before I uttered a single word.

And because of this, my interactions garnered instant warmth. She wanted to meet me, and I wanted to meet her, and I encountered almost no resistance in moving things forward.

What exactly was at play here? These women were chasing me from the very beginning, putting me very firmly in power of deciding whether or not to move forward the interaction. From then on, I tried my best to make sure that women had seen me first before putting any foresight into approaching them, and my interactions have become a lot smoother as a result.

Getting girls to take note of you is not a difficult feat, and will certainly enhance your abilities if you have above-average fundamentals. Chase wrote an excellent article back in 2011 about this very thing.

But getting her to take notice of you isn't the full depth of the approaching power dynamic. Situations frequently pop up where I'll see a captivating women walking down the street, and my ruse will be blown because I took notice of her first. What do you do in such a scenario?

Put the law of least effort into effect. You still want her to take notice of you before you blast out a compliment, as it can be met with a certain measure of attention-seeking, which is something that will place a lot of guys firmly into "chasing" territory. In order to get her to take notice, throw out a low-risk, indirect-direct style of opener. This isn't guaranteed to work every time, and quite often it won't. But when it does, it brings the same exact warmth.

I used the low-risk opener just as I was exiting the gym on Friday night. I saw a stunning girl in a red top and black shorts that hugged her ass ever so nicely walking out the exit gate as I walked up from behind to leave. 10 yards or so back, I said quite loudly, "Hey! Red top, wait up!"

She turned around and looked at me from the other side of the gate. However, I was not looking at her when she turned around; I was turning in the towel I had used to work out. Just as I finished turning in my towel, she had begun to turn back and walk away. I then said, "Whoa, wait for me." as I walked out the gate, meeting her gaze and smile once it was placed intently on me.

The key to such an approach is to not seek a reaction. It's to get her attention, and get her looking at me before a form of conversation establishes itself. This not only benefits you by making you a powerful man, but it allows her to take a look and assess you before being locked into a conversation. Assessment is a powerful part of the opener, and makes for an effortless approach.

 

[Smith]

Re: The Approach Power Dynamic

Hey Ross,

Glad ur sharing this! It's sorta like pre-opening, to get her to check u out first. When I'm on the street or in the mall, I've found that a light tap on the shoulder while walking next to her and keeping a safe distance (any distance shorter than an arm's length is too close) and once she has turned around and checked u out for one second, u turn ur head and make eye contact, smile then deliver ur opener. Voila! She's intrigued!

The key is to not make eye contact first, so u'll catch her staring at u.

 

[Big Daddy]

Re: The Approach Power Dynamic

There's another great article from Chase that touches on this subject: Pre-opening

 

[Ross]

Re: The Approach Power Dynamic

There's another great article from Chase that touches on this subject: Pre-opening

Nearly forgot about that article. The depth of this website is quite large, and even when i think I've experienced something unique, Chase already has it covered.

Yes fellas, this is essentially pre-opening. Always good to get in a reminder that this stuff works in the field.

 

[ProblemSolving]

And they all had a common theme - the women had seen me before I had seen them. these girls wanted to meet me before I uttered a single word.

Yep! Half of the battle in cold approach is finding single girls that are looking for a new sexy man. When you approach women completely at random, you're going to run into a lot of women who simply aren't in the market for a new man no matter how appealing you seem. Like you, I've found a way to catch girls that are checking YOU out - I call it "Street Fishing".

First, dress to catch peoples' eyes. When you're in a high traffic environment, it's easy to get lost in the crowd of drabness. I usually wear a bright blue, fitted v-neck short sleeve shirt, and everyone, guys and and girls see me at least once - the interested girls look twice

Here's what you do:

Find a high traffic environment like a busy sidewalk or mall hallway. Next position yourself perpendicular to the sidewalk or hallway, so people are walking through your field of vision. Do not move your field of vision, just stare straight ahead with a sexy smile. As people are walking down the street or hallway they can see you from a distance, but you are not looking at them remember, you're just looking straight ahead. As they walk through your field of vision, the interested girls will sneak a peak at you from their peripheries - BUSTED! These are the girls that are in the market for a sexy attractive man, so go get them!

Here's why it works. The majority of people are too busy caught up in their own little world messing around on their phone, worried about being late for work, or trying to find the best deal on shoes to notice a handsome stranger standing right in front of them. But sexy single girls are every bit as vigilant at scoping sexy mates as we are, they're just more discreet about it, so when they see you from a distance not looking at them, they can't help but want to get a better look at you (And hope that you notice them) as they walk passed you.

 

[BarryS1]

Find a high traffic environment like a busy sidewalk or mall hallway. Next position yourself perpendicular to the sidewalk or hallway, so people are walking through your field of vision. Do not move your field of vision, just stare straight ahead with a sexy smile. As people are walking down the street or hallway they can see you from a distance, but you are not looking at them remember, you're just looking straight ahead. As they walk through your field of vision, the interested girls will sneak a peak at you from their peripheries - BUSTED! These are the girls that are in the market for a sexy attractive man, so go get them!

Here's why it works. The majority of people are too busy caught up in their own little world messing around on their phone, worried about being late for work, or trying to find the best deal on shoes to notice a handsome stranger standing right in front of them. But sexy single girls are every bit as vigilant at scoping sexy mates as we are, they're just more discreet about it, so when they see you from a distance not looking at them, they can't help but want to get a better look at you (And hope that you notice them) as they walk passed you.

ProblemSolving, cool tactic for when you are walking head-on towards the girl.

Big Daddy wrote:
There's another great article from Chase that touches on this subject: Pre-opening


Nearly forgot about that article. The depth of this website is quite large, and even when i think I've experienced something unique, Chase already has it covered.

Yes fellas, this is essentially pre-opening. Always good to get in a reminder that this stuff works in the field.

Ross, I think you applied pre-opening to a situation the article didn't talk about - girls walking away with their backs turned. I never thought you could do that in this type of situation.

Here's what I am trying to grasp:

Say you are walking behind a girl on the street and pre-open with your technique of calling out a nickname. Do you stare off into the distance until she looks at you? The towel idea was smooth for the gym situation, but how else can you cover-up your stare?

 

[Ross]

Say you are walking behind a girl on the street and pre-open with your technique of calling out a nickname. Do you stare off into the distance until she looks at you? The towel idea was smooth for the gym situation, but how else can you cover-up your stare?

You don't have to always cover it up. Just make sure you aren't expecting her to look at you. For example, if she turns around don't be staring at her; look in her general direction and meet her eyes once they gaze into yours.

As long as you aren't looking to meet her gaze first, you're pretty golden to spin it off in whatever direction you please. The primary factor is to get her looking at you before you look at her.

 

[ProblemSolving]

ProblemSolving, cool tactic for when you are walking head-on towards the girl.

I probably didn't describe the tactic when enough. It won't work nearly as well walking head-on towards her because it can be intimidating having a big sexy guy walking towards her, so she'll often do her best not to look you in the eye. What I'm describing allows her lots of time to check you out without being noticed, until she walks directly in front of you.

Imagine the street is running North to South. You are going to be standing there looking across the street, West to East. The only way for your eyes to meet each is if she creeps with her peripheral vision. I've busted so many girls doing this and the usual response is an immediate smile because they know they just got caught creepin'.

 

[Big Daddy]

I have to try this shit of standing in a hallway waiting for hot chicks to get busted by me.

 

[BarryS1]

ProblemSolving, gotcha!

by Ross » Tue Jun 24, 2014 12:59 pm

You don't have to always cover it up. Just make sure you aren't expecting her to look at you. For example, if she turns around don't be staring at her; look in her general direction and meet her eyes once they gaze into yours.

As long as you aren't looking to meet her gaze first, you're pretty golden to spin it off in whatever direction you please. The primary factor is to get her looking at you before you look at her.

Ross, I just tried the technique twice this week. Much better reception than what I was doing before - running up to the girl and approaching from the side. I kept wonder why I had to repeat the direct compliment opener, the girl was not expecting it and was caught off guard.

With pre-opening, the girl isn't surprised and I don't need to repeat myself. Awesome!

 

[JjP]

I'm still confused on how to pre open her while doing street game because you said that even when she does look at you first you don't usually get warm receptions from her.

 

[Mister_E]

I feel like I have a decent pre-opening with women but somewhere during the conversation I fall off, the women is no longer interested and ends up walking away. What do I do?

 

[Chase]

@ JjP-

I'm still confused on how to pre open her while doing street game because you said that even when she does look at you first you don't usually get warm receptions from her.

Easiest way is to open her by running up, touching her elbow lightly if you're coming in from a direction that that's natural to do, and then starting to speak while looking slightly away from her and smiling. Like:

• "Excuse me..." [looking slightly down and away; after she looks at you, you look up a bit and lock eyes] "... I saw you walking here, and I had to come tell you that..."

@ Mister_E-

I feel like I have a decent pre-opening with women but somewhere during the conversation I fall off, the women is no longer interested and ends up walking away. What do I do?

Sounds as though they aren't hooking, or you're missing escalation windows if they are. First place to look is fundamentals; the better these are, the more reliably women hook. Second place to look is what you have in common with when you're losing girls.

If it's the case that you're talking and talking and they exit as soon as there's a free moment, for instance, probably a combination of you need better fundamentals and you need to get women investing more early on into your conversations.

If it's the case that they hook and get excited and engaged in the conversation, alternately, but at some point it gets kind of weird and they just leave, that means you're moving too slowly and missing escalation windows. Try moving faster and hitting escalation windows when they pop up (an air of anticipation begins to hang in the air --> move her to join you somewhere or sit down with you somewhere, or otherwise escalate things).

Chase