FR+ The choice: hot kiss VS nothing that night...

[girlsfollow]

This is such a minor report compared to some of the epic LR+'s I have from my travels but this big issue is something that needs to be addressed.....

Went out with my friends sister (who he's apparently given the impression I am some kind of player) to her university halls - got drunk with her and her friends - her hottest friend clearly liked me and there was some serious tension between us the whole night. I suggested we go for a cigarette together and so isolated her well - there was this awesome tension between us. So yet again I managed to find myself with another virgin! I seem to attract them! I like them so its fine by me.

Anyway so weird situation because obviously I was not going to have sex with her that night - her friend was already looking for us as soon as we left just to share one cigarette! So in the lift back I had enough and just teasingly kissed her and pulled away.

Now I felt this released the tension quite a bit - but since nothing was going to happen that night (well very slim chance - i did try getting out of her friends room i was staying in to go and see her - and her friend woke up and followed me!

Was this really a terrible thing to do? There was a clear escalation window and I took it - if I hadn't I think it could have been interpreted as weakness - I feel its put us on that track now and could be a good start? Or would you say I killed tension and the chase and reduced chances of meeting her again?

I plan to wait till tomorrow to text her how she's doing and organise a meetup.

 

[Chase]

GF-

Tough call. Kissing is taking advantage of an escalation window, yes. However, it also signals to the girl that she "has you," unless you break the kiss off first and make it VERY clear to her that you're the one that's in control.

If you kissed her and ended it that way, that may have been the right call in a situation where you can't escalate any further but the tension is peaking and you want to make your intentions felt. If you kissed her and SHE ended it / called the shots at the end, then it's her ball game now, and things will go as quickly or slowly as she'd like them to.

Chase

 

[Ross]

This is something that I struggled with quite a bit when my logistics were horrible. I had to decide between escalating in the window that was given or perhaps holding out on it and instead trying to fumble for the right logistics.

I decided since I was starting out that I needed to get as much practice with that stuff as I could, so I went ahead and did the things that I could do given there was no possible way that I could lay with her that night. Every single time that I did this, however, it was the farthest that I would ever get. When I would finally get them alone I would encounter major last minute resistance as they were clearly the ones in control, which is something that you obviously recognize will happen.

As Chase said, you're going to have to make sure that the tone does not change after you kiss her. Keep up the tension, and maybe escalate it further by going in for a second kiss after you pull away first, but not quite going all the way and then pulling back. Shows you are still firmly in control of the interaction.

 

[girlsfollow]

This is something that I struggled with quite a bit when my logistics were horrible. I had to decide between escalating in the window that was given or perhaps holding out on it and instead trying to fumble for the right logistics.

I decided since I was starting out that I needed to get as much practice with that stuff as I could, so I went ahead and did the things that I could do given there was no possible way that I could lay with her that night. Every single time that I did this, however, it was the farthest that I would ever get. When I would finally get them alone I would encounter major last minute resistance as they were clearly the ones in control, which is something that you obviously recognize will happen.

As Chase said, you're going to have to make sure that the tone does not change after you kiss her. Keep up the tension, and maybe escalate it further by going in for a second kiss after you pull away first, but not quite going all the way and then pulling back. Shows you are still firmly in control of the interaction.

This is becoming a recurring problem for me. I had two dates in the past week, in both cases the girls had a reason they had to leave at some point later in the evening (first one was on holiday and needed to meet her brother - but she did stay longer and so was 2 hours late to see him, the second one needed to go to see family that was leaving in the morning - I suppose you might say if I had played these properly I might have persuaded them to stay anyway?). Anyway - it might be that i'm not being sexual enough and not exciting them enough to want to come home with me (I've maybe been focusing too much on deep diving and neglecting sexiness) but in these cases I had very good chances to kiss but I have not been taking them because I dont want to give away the chase.

I'm not sure if this has been helping me - I think particularly in the first case the girl was quite uninhibited and sexual (very sexy type girl) - I think for her not kissing was a sign of weakness and she probably put me in the group of guys that are fun but don't have the balls to take what they want when they want it and therefore aren't very sexually dominant and therefore not really great at sex - un surprisingly although she asked to hang out the next day as we had agreed - her phone mysteriously ran out of battery after I responded yes....

Can you see how it could have this negative effect ?

The second last night is another story, she was very conservative (3, 1yr relationships, probably no other partners despite being 25 still living with parents)- I probably toned it back a little too much and ended up just felling like kissing her towards the end - I gave her a slightly forceful kiss on the lips and then pulled away - she didn't show any sign of wanting to make it a real kiss- odd since in the bar before hand she had been leaning all over me literally leaning onto me, very intimate and close and I had my hand around her the whole time we were walking around....maybe I didn't chase frame enough - I escalated kino nicely but need to build tension more....hmmm need to think how to really push that from now on

not sure how to continue with this one - probably standard wait a few days ask her how things went, then ask out on a proper date this time - maybe comedy club