The fine line between law of least effort/not taking charge

[Scofield]

So there was this girl I really wanted to talk to at a club tonight but I waited for a "least effort" scenario to talk to her. Got me wondering where I should draw the line between law of least effort and just taking charge. This is what happened:

i was at the bar, we made eye contact, exchanged smiles and eye f***ed a bit from across the way. by the time I got my drink so I could go talk to her she had left (to go to the bathroom presumably). Next time I saw her I did make the slight mistake of not recognizing her (she was wearing a jacket she didn't previously have, covering up her tattoos). Then when I did recognize her she was dancing with her girlfriends/on the inside of the dance floor instead of the outer so I couldn't really talk to her. I could've asked her to dance, but I hate dancing, I don't think dancing with girls is productive for seduction and i f***ed up my knee so it was really hard for me to dance. I waited on the outside of the dance floor a bit for her to move around. The place was so packed it would have taken a lot of effort to move around to talk to her. I didn't just wait for her the whole time though, i went to talk to other girls but couldn't make anything happen. When I circled back to this girl she was still in the same place. It was just last call and some guy approached her on the dance floor...and they ended up leaving together. What should I had done instead?

Not just this scenario, but this is something I'm wondering in general...where do I draw the line?

 

[Tyme2k]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

For one, you and I need to go out.

Two, the "law of the least effort" is a term for while in set not getting into set. If there is a girl eye fucking you, you must immediately walk over and open her. If you were planning on getting a drink, open her FIRST then invite her to join you at the bar and order your drink. You see how the interaction is different? You preopened, opened, moved and led the interaction only thing that's left is escalating and pulling.

Don't ever wait around to open, there will never be a perfect time after the first 30 seconds. The first few seconds ARE the perfect time.

If you read chases articles on the law you should know that you truly work your ass off, but you do so in a way that makes you appear lower effort.

 

[Scofield]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

For one, you and I need to go out.

Two, the "law of the least effort" is a term for while in set not getting into set. If there is a girl eye fucking you, you must immediately walk over and open her. If you were planning on getting a drink, open her FIRST then invite her to join you at the bar and order your drink. You see how the interaction is different? You preopened, opened, moved and led the interaction only thing that's left is escalating and pulling.

Don't ever wait around to open, there will never be a perfect time after the first 30 seconds. The first few seconds ARE the perfect time.

If you read chases articles on the law you should know that you truly work your ass off, but you do so in a way that makes you appear lower effort.

Yeah, I would have done that...but there were 2 dudes between us blocking the way. Would have taken a huge effort to get to her. And I already ordered my drink, maybe I was just justifying it to myself but I felt it'd be rude to order and leave. By the time I got my drink, the two guys left and I was just about to start a B line right to her...when she left to use the restroom (presumably).

 

[Tyme2k]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

How many other approaches did you do there? what bar?

 

[Scofield]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

How many other approaches did you do there? what bar?

I was actually at a club, I just meant I was at the bar portion of it. I did a few, only had maybe 6 good convos through the night, it was too crowded because of the night it was, I normally like to talk to 12-20 girls. I'll pm you the details if you want, I don't want to derail this topic too much.

 

[Light]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

You need to remember that approaching girls in a club is very advance, and is the hardest to do compared to a day game, or in any other environment.
The law of least effort doesn't really apply (or rather, you need slightly more effort).
Remember that a club is a very high energy environment, and therefore you must also adjust your energy level. It will seem ok to the girl to put a bit more effort in.
The best way to approach girls in a club is to move around a lot.. don't stay in one spot. And just open up every single girl you bump into. It is more natural that way.

 

[Chase]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

Scofield-

I'm noticing some guys using the law as a reason to not approach, which is not what it's for. What it really is is, like Tyme says, a way of modulating the appearance of effort to make yourself seem more attractive.

If you're down to a choice between "approach but look high effort" and "don't approach and look chill," you need to go for #1, at least until you reach the point where you've got things down so well that you reasonably know an approach isn't going to work out if you do it high effort and better prospects will be along shortly.

Further, you'll generally need to wade through doing things with visible high effort (Jester, Peasant) before you reach effectiveness with low visible effort (King). Until you start trying though, you're parked at Unknown, where women think you might be cool, but they don't really know because they never meet you and you never meet them.

Spend a little time sucking it up and being high effort just to get the job done, and you'll start figuring out ways to tweak your approach and do things more smoothly and with less visible effort while still getting results as you do. There are still some situations even when you're very good with appearing low effort that you just can't always seem that way; doing lots of approaches in a nightclub, for instance. It's very difficult to appear low effort while doing this, and it takes some time to figure out how to be low effort for even half of these approaches - you'll do hundreds of them before you start getting an inkling. Opening's probably the hardest thing to be effortless in doing - you can do it in small doses, but if you're doing mass approaches you very nearly can't.

When you're still new, focus your attention on being effortless after you open - if everything that comes after the opener is smooth but the opener is high effort, most girls will forgive you the effort of chasing them down and getting them talking.

It's more important that you get the practice of talking to lots of girls than that you look smooth in doing so. The smoothness will come in time as a byproduct of interacting socially, even if you don't focus on it that much. You'll just know that "this way works better, that way doesn't get me as good a reception, etc."

Chase

 

[Flames]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

Law of effort is not law of no effort.

It's about not investing more than you need to, this comes with practice and has a lot do with calibration.

As a cool and aloof person myself, if I see some potential in a girl I meet I will make an effort but if that effort isn't rewarded by investment on her part then I'll be back to cool and aloof again.

Hope that helps

 

[Scofield]

Re: The fine line between law of least effort/not taking cha

These all help, thanks for the replies. A bit of an update, I saw the girl again last weekend. Didn't hesitate this time and went up to her to talk to her. Unfortunately she did not seem too interested and I lost her attention after a minute or two.