- Joined
- Dec 7, 2019
- Messages
- 240
1
Some of you may not approve of this lay report. But it is a story that I want to tell.
As for many years I had visions, dreams – yes, - fantasies of a world in which societal norms are fully unveiled like the bride on wedding day, a world in which societal norms are fully unveiled like the sadistic impasses of the pornography websites now locked away in my list of places never to visit again.
Yes, though, I have lived it now.
Two sides of it, once more. Duality. In the moments as it was happening, as I was observing the mirrored view of a leashed girl worshipping my hard cock in the mirror, the sweet droplets of dopaminergic honey never tasted any sweeter.
And according to her, in that moment, the taste was just as sweet.
The following words are of another Lofty adventure. No tales, no dreams, no, none of that anymore.
Cold, hard, warm, soft, chained, unchained reality.
2
Allow us to wander into events explained in my journal earlier this week. I detailed how I have been studying and practicing textgame, and by one somewhat random download, I also begun messing around on a BDSM dating app called Kinkoo.
If you know me, BDSM is among my interests. And if you don’t know me, perhaps such ideas have already made themselves crystal-clear. After spending time on the app learning how everything works – the abundant scammers and all – I initiated a strategy to help develop my frame control, compliance building, sex talk, and other skills over text while maybe even earning tasty delights along the way. It involved using fake pictures, fantasy channeling, and lots, and lots, and lots… of Mach. The location of the girls didn’t matter, especially as online relationships are not uncommon in BDSM. Nor did their listed preferences – I would go on to develop a compliance stack to earn the control of submissives and another to make Dominatrixes submit.
After a few days experimenting, I had acquired over 50 naughty images in positions of my request, numerous sadistic videos and voice notes, and multiple women who I was now managing online D/s relationships with. It was fun.
For a while. I quickly grew bored of some of the girls, even if they’d send me videos bowing down to me 20 times and thanking me after every rep. And I also didn’t really care all that much about approving their clothing choices for the day or being on my phone constantly to operate these things. I dropped two subs and basically devolved the other relationships with my favorite of the girls, HBcoldfire (a complete bad bitch
) and HBEnchantress, into sexting/sex talking type of dynamics. HBEnchantress is also a Switch with 12 years of BDSM experience, so she has additionally been a good resource for me to continue learning more about this realm.
After this, I decided to make one further effort on Kinkoo before putting it off to the side for now. This was the thought of, well, I might as well try to get laid off this thing. Let’s see what I can do…
… without showing any pictures of myself on the app. Which I was not comfortable with doing.
So I deleted my fake pics and replaced it with one single scenic, mysterious pic of a moonlit street. I knew that with my messaging, I’d have to come in quickly with social frame and address this discomfort (which is understandable for many) early in the interaction. Then once I decide if I want to take it further, move the conversation to SnapChat (and finally reveal myself). I knew it was a low-percentage strategy, but most of all I wanted to have fun while testing my tap tap tapping skills on the backlit screen of my mobile telephone.
There are only a handful of girls within reasonable driving distance, and even fewer of those who are active. Nonetheless, I message the hot ones to see what happens. One girl in particular, a sexy 22-year-old brunette about two hours away, catches my eye.
And she becomes a main character in this here story. After all, she replies to me with very nice BDSM etiquette based upon the details of my profile. It is a mind-stimulating exchange with some pieces of my prior Kinkoo strategy, but again, I am running things based off the fact that I do not have any pictures of myself on my profile. Call her HBKittenX. Things will unfold beginning from my first message on June 30th, followed by the main event on the following Wednesday.
The first snap I sent her was a simple, half-face pic of me with the caption “Heyyy .” She quickly sent me back a snap of her laying on a white couch with a touch of cleavage showing, and she was looking quite attractive. The caption was something like, “Excuse my face I’ve been cleaning all day,” which already signals potential image/self-esteem/big desire for validation since she is obviously well above-average looks-wise. Like the type of thing where a hot girl says, “Ugh omg sorry I’m so ugly” because they want you to say, “On no you’re hot as fuck” so she can be a happy girl.
Thing is that I get stuck in a videoconference for my internship and am not able to respond right away… and plus, I know that her last snap was a big search for validation as she likely has already become interested in me. So, not responding right away would drive her a little crazy after that. Which is what we want, but then to reward her anxious waiting, I would balance it with the gift of a sprezzaturatic shirtless pic as I pretend to ready for a shower. I have found this to be effective based on my previous testing when moving girls from Kinkoo to SnapChat.
Well, the waiting drives her a little toooo crazy. I send my shirtless snap about 30 minutes later and am met with a grey “Pending” icon. You know what that means… she deleted me lol. I go to Kinkoo about 25 minutes later knowing that this is far from over and that she’s probably messaged me, and she has.
Shortly afterwards, I see that she’s now viewed my shirtless snap and send me a chat message. It reads something like “Yes sir we can start over.”
Now I really begin the serious business and work to build tons of comfort + compliance, derived from the methods I’ve developed while on Kinkoo. As written in my journal, I’m not going to share the specifics of it right now… but if you’re close to me and want to see an example, then I can show you more.
Also, I do not have our Snap messages archived until she changed the settings to “Delete After 24 Hours” later in the conversation. I’ll include the Snap messaging from this point:
Okay, so once I call, she explains how when she rang my number it said something about calling through Google or something. I did not know this happened with Google Voice, and in addition, she said that she was also “sketched out” by how I did not have a caller ID when I called her.
I promptly reason that as I’m a college student short on funds, I found this Reddit page full of hacks to save money. One of them was using Google Voice, which operates just like a regular phone number and is completely free, instead of paying for a cell phone service. I mean, she surely knows how it is when you’re penny-pinching and trying to save every buck possible… especially when you’re trying to start your own business like I am…
She accepts this reasoning but also asks for my name. I give her my usual fake name and ask for hers. Which was just what she had for her SnapChat username.
Additionally, she says that she told her sister that she was coming to meet me and will give her my name, phone number, address, and send her a picture of me. Oh god… but I say that I completely understand because this isn’t a typical thing and I want her to feel as comfortable as possible no matter what. In fact, I share how I’m also nervous as well because this is not only her first time meeting someone from Kinkoo, but it’s mine, too. It’s like we’re in the same boat here.
Even though she is calm enough to mention that she’ll still come now, I offer to switch back to a SnapChat video call to show her around my place. I do that and show her around my apartment. She says she feels much better now – I believe it because I can hear it in her voice.
We return back to a phone call as she hops into her car. I did not intend to remain on the phone with her for the entire drive, though after the conversation continued, I realize that this is the best move to help her state while also having her ready once she arrives.
The topics of discussion are wide. Though, the conversation goes very, very well. I am gaming.
HBKittenX opens up about her sexual history which includes a 4-year abusive relationship that she recently ended. How she discovered porn at age 13. What types of porn she watches now, what her kinks are.
In addition, she discusses other troubles in her life. This includes a major car accident she was in last year after a driver fell asleep behind the wheel on a country back road, and how it was almost fatal. She needed significant surgery on her knee and elbow, now having prominent scars. Furthermore, her stepdad is facing child pornography charges amidst other familial issues. Cluster B and major red flags, yes, but I like her and feel comfortable working through these topics while showing perceptiveness of her reality.
Another key moment is when the entire interaction is reframed. She asks me what brough me to Kinkoo – she’s only been on there about a month herself. I talk about looking to find people with similar interests – that dating apps and going out to the bars never seems to establish the type of intimacy that I’m looking for. She agrees. Moreover, I talk about how all of my friends feel objectified on dating apps with men they don’t even know asking them for sex… and how at bars, they are always harassed by creepy guys who don’t understand how to truly connect with women. All of this resonates with her. Plus, she says that sometimes guys will even try to follow her home. I say that I can actually relate to this, even though I never thought that I could, when a gay guy recently tried following me home. Her response is that I must have a cute butt.
In this way, we conclude that meeting each other on Kinkoo is actually safer than traditional dating apps or going out to bars because we have already gone through intensive screening for safety and finding each other highly relatable through our conversations so far.
The SOTs keep on rolling, and I know that things are looking good as her arrival approaches. However, I begin feeling a furthered sense of apprehension regarding my use of a fake name, etc., that she will be sharing with those close to her after we have thoroughly discussed values such as safety, security, and honesty. Furthermore, I will be out of this town in three weeks and already sense that she may become attached – I do not want to hurt her. She’s about 10 minutes away when I exchange messages with my friend and mentor Bacchus about these concerns.
His comment that “anxiety is just a future projection” certainly helped to ease my mind. I make sure to calmly breathe and focus as she pulls up.
I tell her where to park, slip on my shoes, and walk down to meet her outside. I’m wearing the same outfit as I showed in the pictures for social frame reasons – a grey tee, jeans, my black suede PUMAs, and a backwards black hat.
She spots me from her car and steps out. My eyes are met with a tantalizing figure – tall and slim. Only maybe a few inches shorter than me. On her body is an olive-colored romper with a strap tied around her waist. It goes well to complement her hazel eyes and brunette hair.
The eye contact locks. We meet in an embrace. I pull away. Look at deeply. We do what feels natural. Make-out. Intensely.
I lead her inside with my left arm around her.
3
We enter me apartment. Ask her if would like any water. Negative. Make a quick comment about how I don’t think my roommate is here right now. Helps her feel comfortable. Guide her gently into my bedroom. Have her sit on my bed. Brief comment about connection. She’s very ready to go. Make-out. Intensely. I’m laying on top of her. Making out, intensely.
Pulling away, I gaze at her romper. My thoughts are her thoughts. Calibrated thoughts – we’re on the same wavelength. She asks if I would like her to take it all off, with part of the implicity being that it looks mighty confusing to take off and the other part being that she wants to take it off. I reply to yes, take it all off. My shirt also comes off at this point.
While she does, I slip on my special necklace and bracelet. They’ve been my buddies for so long now, a part of every lay. I would like to keep it that way. For the first time in months, it takes me a moment to hook on my necklace… she even asks if I would like her to help me. But at that moment it hooks on, bracelet on. It was a little pause in the escalation especially as I had to stand up to grab them, but I knew that I was good. While I stand leaning against my bed, she doesn’t even have to be told what to do next. HBKittenX stands herself up nude before dropping to her knees before me. Her body looks very nice. Her big hazel eyes look very nice looking upwards.
Her soft hands begin to graze against my jeans. Please Sir, please, please may I suck your cock…
Arouse and tempt, though. Arouse and tempt.
While I sex talk and tease, I methodically glide her hands to my belt. Take it off.
Each next progression to unveiling my naked cock becomes more and more drawn out. Her begs percolate the air with sexual tension. When the last of my clothing is off, I give her one more command before she has permission to slide my big, hard, cock into her wet little mouth. To kiss all the way up from my left foot all the way to my dick and lick it before it pops inside of her soft lips. She excitedly does as told.
Dick goes in mouth.
And it is not just any, run-of-the-mill blowjob.
This girl is going bonkers on my cock. Almost facefucking herself with sloppy goodness. It feels so amazing that I almost let one slip despite my months of tantric orgasm control.
But before I cum in her mouth, there’s something I’d like to do to her. I ask if he’s ever been put on a leash. Her answer is yes, although in hindsight I’m not sure it was the truth.
Now here comes an important point. I know that Chase, Bacchus, Teevster, Linguinator, and other have all told me that you should be extremely wary of pushing girls too far during the first sex session, and perhaps even the first few sex sessions. Remember HBMarina? Cold Weather Sunrise? My other porn-inspired escapades?
But I thought this time had to be different. We met on a BDSM dating app. The premise was BDSM sex. We discussed BDSM sex. Discussed what we both liked and fantasizes about. I thought this must be an outlier here.
So I go all-out.
I leash her with the elegant, tasseled collar I showed her over SnapChat. Take her over to the mirror on the back of my closet door as she crawls to my side. And watch her hungrily devour my hard cock, take my cum, and say, Thank you Sir…
Playing with her hair and holding her face, I give her kisses and validate her with a comment about how her blowjobs are so much better than those of the sorority girls. Smiles and giggles.
I guide the crawling kitten over to my bed, and she joins me on the sheets once I give her permission to do so. Here comes lots of sex talking, pacing, and intimate touching and kissing all over her body. I become so into her teased arousal that I almost forget that hey, she has a pussy that is all mine.
My right hand strokes downward her body, met by continued little hip thrusts. Once I reach her pussy lips, I am a bit taken aback by how warm and wet her pussy is. Soaked. Dripping. I have her taste my fingers, too. Mhmmm, you’re so wet for me, aren’t you, baby?
Yes Sir, I’m so wet for you Sir…
Her words of complete and total submission make me quite happy. So happy, in fact, that after teasing her pussy with my fingers, I decide that it’s time to penetrate her soul.
ED… what ED? My months of dedicated recovery now see me nearly fully erect not too long after ejaculation. It feels good.
Skyn condom on. Small rubs against the clit. And my hard cock feels the soft material known as her pussy.
This becomes my best dicking yet. By far. Plenty of freezing based upon the Eros Technique, smooth motions, continuing kisses and touches and fingers in her mouth. Good. It feels good.
We continue.
She does what I want her to do.
Releases.
We cuddle a little as my attention goes to leveraging her heightened state of arousal. Each time she cums, I remember to rub the base of her spine in circles as the Eros Technique recommends to increase the duration of her orgasms. Orgasms of which she didn’t know could come in 8 different types. Though she knows now. And also about the Mental G-Spot…
A compliment comes from her that I really know what I’m doing. Nice.
Then, somehow, as sex somehow goes, she ends up on all fours as I comfortably relax on my futon. The good little kitten worships my feet with her mouth – soft kisses and strokes of her tongue – as I enjoy the view and sensations with a silver chained leash in-hand.
Once she performs to my satisfaction, I stand up and get behind her as my left hand goes on the middle of her back and the right plays with her pussy, similarly wet as before.
Her head even slides under the futon as she giddily moans and writhes. The pleads for permission to cum sound soothing to my hears, just as her sounds of pleasure once permission is granted.
For some time following, I return to sitting on the futon while she lays her head in my lap. My arms around her, moving up and down her back. She explains how happy she is and how good she feels, that she would like to stay in this position for a while. I think it’s a good idea.
An intriguing observation comes from her. She inquires if I have ADHD or ADD. I ask why. It’s because she’s a nursing and psychology major and noticed certain tendencies about my behavior. I’ve never been diagnosed nor intend on being tested, but it is an interesting note that yes, I am quite calm in general, but along with my calmness is my urge to always be moving, always be doing.
Along with this is the discussion I was having with Bismarck just hours before. About how nurses are good examples of those who have high likelihoods of being SUBs. The world works in mysterious ways, indeed.
We eventually return to bed for further cuddles and snuggles, but only after she awaits on her knees for water; I get some, then feed it to her in little sips. Liminality.
A request comes to watch TV, but I reply that I’d rather just talk instead. I really wish that I would have said okay to this even though I don’t like watching TV much. Clearly, it was part of her fantasy to be dominated and then watch her favorite shows as I would hold her closely.
Still, we have a good conversation. And I did think that we’d work in her favorite TV shows later as well. But I really wanted to have those Witch15 type of post-sex conversations. I have her tell me about her favorite things, favorite adventures, about her person. I love hearing how she goes hiking to pick blackberries on her pawpaw’s land and the other stories reminiscent of a beautiful, rural small-town raised, Southern girl. Truth be told, it gives the entire experience a sense of extravagant surrealism.
Spontaneously fuck more. Back to cuddling and enjoying each other. Her words rush out that she loves everything about me. My face, my body, my voice, the way that I take care of her, the way that I focus on her… everything.
Warm, fuzzy feelings.
But out of nowhere, all of a sudden, her body folds up in pain. I don’t know what’s going on except that she’s hurting. And holding her knee with the big scar from the car accident.
Tons of thoughts race through my mand. Was I too rough with her? Did I put her in uncomfortable positions? Did I tear her ACL or something…?
Trying to hold, comfort, and soothe her in this moment, I simply lightly graze my hand upon her as she explains what’s going on.
She says she sometimes has these random spasms of pain as the nerves grow back. The mood becomes rather somber. It’s moments like these, she says, that make her want to sue the man who hit her. She didn’t, though, because he was a neighbor and family friend.
Going into her bag, she looks for her medication. It’s not there. She must have left it at home… and we discuss what happens next. Because she wants to stay the night with, and planned to stay the night with me. But also knows that she needs to take the meds.
She sadly says that she needs to go home to get them. An hour drive that will end our night together. I don’t think that I should reason her out of this, even if she wanted me to. Like I told her before, I want her to have the best experience possible. Unraveling fantasies, sure, but also staying safe and making pragmatic decisions. I simply ask her a few times whether she thinks that she’ll be okay driving with her knee hurting. Her answer is yes. I tell her to text me when she gets home. She says she definitely will. I know that she’ll likely be checking in with her sister, too, on the drive back. So that helps me feel better as well.
But seriously, I dominated her very much. A lot a lot. Really dominated this girl.
More aftercare was needed. Teevster has told me that it is recommended to spend at least 12 hours with a girl following kinky stuff.
Once again, I found myself in a tough situation.
HBKittenX dresses. As do I. Pack up her stuff with light kisses and touches as it happens. Asks me for water to take with, and I give her some.
Walk her down as I support her ginger steps with an arm around her. The sounds from her lips are again quite surreal as she informs me that no man has ever treated her as well as I have tonight. Which is cool. But again, yeah, I did really dominate her. But I always tried to be picking up on what she was enjoying and that was my foremost priority. Harmonic pleasure between us.
We’re almost to the care when she makes a few more comments between our kisses.
“You’re perfect, you know that? Has anyone ever told you that you’re perfect?”
I don’t say anything.
“Well, you are perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. You’re perfect…”
Our steps reach her car. Passionate final two make-outs. She’d love to come again, if I’d have her. I respond that I’m a bit busy with work, but we’ll definitely find the time. Wish I would have just smiled and said a big emphatic yes. Let her fantasies live forever. That’s what it’s all about.
I step to the sidewalk. The brunette kitten waves to me from inside the car.
Turning away, I take my steps forward and don’t look back.
4
All in all, our wild romp lasted almost two hours. I make note of the time she should be home. I’m worried about her driving considering her ailing knee and her history of car accidents.
Once I return inside my apartment, I do a little giddy jump while smiling, my fist pumping through the hair in excitement. A loud, vocalized, Let’s go!
She was a lot of fun. I’ve faced my share of challenges since my own Seducer’s Journey has begun. I’ve learned to not take these experiences for granted.
As the clock extends past 11:00, I’ve cleaned up my room on this Wednesday night. Usually, I’d be planning which donut to get. Chocolate mocha? Lemon filled? The one with the vanilla icing and fresh strawberries on top?
But it’s nighttime and not the dawning hours as it has been after my lays over the past… 11 months almost? Wow… 11 months in The Game for the purple novice…
Anyway, I decide that I’ll just go get a sandwich instead of waiting until the morning for a donut. I kinda regret this too because I should have kept that tradition going, I think.
Yeah, though, I go get a sandwich. Go to The Bench where I’ve had so many streetgaming experiences. Propped up on my phone, feeling the rush when I see a hot girl in my periphery.
Memories flood back.
The sad whimpers and streaming tears of HBAzure.
The nippy air when HBStrawberryPrincess wrapped her arms around me.
The amusement I felt when HBBlueSparkle told off her ex on the phone to come sit next to me instead.
And of course, all the opportunities that I grew from but didn’t lay.
It’s hard not to get a little emotional.
Some girls pass me, but I’m not paying attention right now. I’m just eating my sandwich.
I wander around the streets for hours longer. Enjoying the beautiful night, reliving the beautiful nights before, and breathing in the air.
The text from HBKittenX never comes, not even as I stride into my apartment past 3:00 AM. I know something is wrong. The dreadful feeling of Googling her name and seeing something that I don’t want to see is a thought that creeps in my mind. Did she get into an accident? Should I have let her leave?
Adding to this feeling is another story I recall from Teevster. After my missteps with HBMarina, he told me that he once had a very kinky time with a very experienced kinky girl. So experienced and kinky that she had whips hanging on the wall.
He told me that even she felt weird after their first time having sex together. And to never push things too far in these situations, no matter her experience level. Top, experienced seducers have told me this!!
And the sinking feeling hits me. I pushed things too far. Again. The “premise” that I believed was BDSM sex did not justify how far I took things, even if she really enjoyed them in the moment. Add to that the lack of proper aftercare, and I know that once again, I made the same mistakes.
You know what they say. Fool me once…
Also, I had sent her a text asking if she was home earlier in the night.
It seems that there’s always hiccups in all of my experiences. I have long realized that I am the common denominator here. There are things that I must fix – some things that I am aware of, and others unknown.
Still no response as Thursday continues. I try giving her a call, then send her a snap asking about her knee. Also make note of her Snap score to see if increases at all. It doesn’t as the day turns to night.
Well, I reason that I’ll send one more text just to cover my bases. Whether I see this girl again or not doesn’t really matter to me (as long as she’s okay), but I would like to do everything possible to ensure I handle everything thing correctly now. This text is sent on Thursday night:
On Friday, I notice her Snap score increasing and that’s all I needed to feel better and move on. Around noon, she also sends me a snap of her laying down that says something like, “I’m very sorry, I haven’t been feeling well.”
I send a snap back which she still hasn’t opened. Noticed her Kinkoo profile is also deleted as well.
In my mind, a few things could have happened.
Regardless, I lived some of my own fantasies with a girl who was more than excited to be the co-star in them. And did it feel good. Very good. Really fucking good.
Cold, hard, warm, soft, chained, unchained reality.
A taste of sweet milk, sweet honey. Just a taste, a sip.
Onto the true promised land because it exists, it’s out there, I believe it so.
After all, honey makes you thirsty.
*Note - I cannot recommend the use of Kinkoo due to the scammers who frequent the place. If you do choose to use it, please reach out to me about how to use it safely and connect with real, normal, hot people.
Some of you may not approve of this lay report. But it is a story that I want to tell.
As for many years I had visions, dreams – yes, - fantasies of a world in which societal norms are fully unveiled like the bride on wedding day, a world in which societal norms are fully unveiled like the sadistic impasses of the pornography websites now locked away in my list of places never to visit again.
Yes, though, I have lived it now.
Two sides of it, once more. Duality. In the moments as it was happening, as I was observing the mirrored view of a leashed girl worshipping my hard cock in the mirror, the sweet droplets of dopaminergic honey never tasted any sweeter.
And according to her, in that moment, the taste was just as sweet.
The following words are of another Lofty adventure. No tales, no dreams, no, none of that anymore.
Cold, hard, warm, soft, chained, unchained reality.
2
Allow us to wander into events explained in my journal earlier this week. I detailed how I have been studying and practicing textgame, and by one somewhat random download, I also begun messing around on a BDSM dating app called Kinkoo.
If you know me, BDSM is among my interests. And if you don’t know me, perhaps such ideas have already made themselves crystal-clear. After spending time on the app learning how everything works – the abundant scammers and all – I initiated a strategy to help develop my frame control, compliance building, sex talk, and other skills over text while maybe even earning tasty delights along the way. It involved using fake pictures, fantasy channeling, and lots, and lots, and lots… of Mach. The location of the girls didn’t matter, especially as online relationships are not uncommon in BDSM. Nor did their listed preferences – I would go on to develop a compliance stack to earn the control of submissives and another to make Dominatrixes submit.
After a few days experimenting, I had acquired over 50 naughty images in positions of my request, numerous sadistic videos and voice notes, and multiple women who I was now managing online D/s relationships with. It was fun.
For a while. I quickly grew bored of some of the girls, even if they’d send me videos bowing down to me 20 times and thanking me after every rep. And I also didn’t really care all that much about approving their clothing choices for the day or being on my phone constantly to operate these things. I dropped two subs and basically devolved the other relationships with my favorite of the girls, HBcoldfire (a complete bad bitch
) and HBEnchantress, into sexting/sex talking type of dynamics. HBEnchantress is also a Switch with 12 years of BDSM experience, so she has additionally been a good resource for me to continue learning more about this realm.After this, I decided to make one further effort on Kinkoo before putting it off to the side for now. This was the thought of, well, I might as well try to get laid off this thing. Let’s see what I can do…
… without showing any pictures of myself on the app. Which I was not comfortable with doing.
So I deleted my fake pics and replaced it with one single scenic, mysterious pic of a moonlit street. I knew that with my messaging, I’d have to come in quickly with social frame and address this discomfort (which is understandable for many) early in the interaction. Then once I decide if I want to take it further, move the conversation to SnapChat (and finally reveal myself). I knew it was a low-percentage strategy, but most of all I wanted to have fun while testing my tap tap tapping skills on the backlit screen of my mobile telephone.
There are only a handful of girls within reasonable driving distance, and even fewer of those who are active. Nonetheless, I message the hot ones to see what happens. One girl in particular, a sexy 22-year-old brunette about two hours away, catches my eye.
And she becomes a main character in this here story. After all, she replies to me with very nice BDSM etiquette based upon the details of my profile. It is a mind-stimulating exchange with some pieces of my prior Kinkoo strategy, but again, I am running things based off the fact that I do not have any pictures of myself on my profile. Call her HBKittenX. Things will unfold beginning from my first message on June 30th, followed by the main event on the following Wednesday.
6/30, ~6:00 PM
Me: Have a question for you
7/1, ~3:00 AM (I saw she was online)
Me: Also heads up that I guarantee I’m real and actually in [town] rn. Just a little wary of showing my face on here *laugh emoji*
HBKittenX: I completely understand, I would love to see a picture of you eventually though! What is your question sir?
Me: Of course, that’s definitely possible! And I have a feeling that you’re a good, loyal submissive who loves to let herself completely go with a powerful Master who truly cares for her. True?
HB: Yes sir that is correct! I do want a dominant outside of the bedroom just as much as I want one in the bedroom!
Me: Wonderful! Because what I love to do is help a good girl escape into her fantasies by allowing you to fully and totally submit without shame. Do you like the sound of that?
HB: Yes sir I absolutely do!
Me: Perfect, one thing I very much like is to help good little girls grow in all aspects of life. Feeling like we might have something here HBKittenX
7/1, ~6:00 PM
Me: Wondering something else about you
7/5, ~8:00 AM
Me: I don’t understand bby *teary-eyes emoji*. How are you?
7/7, ~2:00 PM
Me: What if we added each other on Snap? Would that make you feel better *blushing smile emoji*
HB: Yes sir it would
Me: Add me: [Snap username]
Me:
HB: I added you sir
Me: Good girl. Sent you a snap
Me: Have a question for you
7/1, ~3:00 AM (I saw she was online)
Me: Also heads up that I guarantee I’m real and actually in [town] rn. Just a little wary of showing my face on here *laugh emoji*
HBKittenX: I completely understand, I would love to see a picture of you eventually though! What is your question sir?
Me: Of course, that’s definitely possible! And I have a feeling that you’re a good, loyal submissive who loves to let herself completely go with a powerful Master who truly cares for her. True?
HB: Yes sir that is correct! I do want a dominant outside of the bedroom just as much as I want one in the bedroom!
Me: Wonderful! Because what I love to do is help a good girl escape into her fantasies by allowing you to fully and totally submit without shame. Do you like the sound of that?
HB: Yes sir I absolutely do!
Me: Perfect, one thing I very much like is to help good little girls grow in all aspects of life. Feeling like we might have something here HBKittenX
7/1, ~6:00 PM
Me: Wondering something else about you
7/5, ~8:00 AM
Me: I don’t understand bby *teary-eyes emoji*. How are you?
7/7, ~2:00 PM
Me: What if we added each other on Snap? Would that make you feel better *blushing smile emoji*
HB: Yes sir it would
Me: Add me: [Snap username]
Me:
HB: I added you sir
Me: Good girl. Sent you a snap
.” She quickly sent me back a snap of her laying on a white couch with a touch of cleavage showing, and she was looking quite attractive. The caption was something like, “Excuse my face I’ve been cleaning all day,” which already signals potential image/self-esteem/big desire for validation since she is obviously well above-average looks-wise. Like the type of thing where a hot girl says, “Ugh omg sorry I’m so ugly” because they want you to say, “On no you’re hot as fuck” so she can be a happy girl.Thing is that I get stuck in a videoconference for my internship and am not able to respond right away… and plus, I know that her last snap was a big search for validation as she likely has already become interested in me. So, not responding right away would drive her a little crazy after that. Which is what we want, but then to reward her anxious waiting, I would balance it with the gift of a sprezzaturatic shirtless pic as I pretend to ready for a shower. I have found this to be effective based on my previous testing when moving girls from Kinkoo to SnapChat.
Well, the waiting drives her a little toooo crazy. I send my shirtless snap about 30 minutes later and am met with a grey “Pending” icon. You know what that means… she deleted me lol. I go to Kinkoo about 25 minutes later knowing that this is far from over and that she’s probably messaged me, and she has.
HB: Lol. I deleted you. Thanks for making me feel not good enough. Goodbye.
Me: I was getting ready to shower and sent you a snap 25 minutes ago
Me: Had nothing to do with you! I think you deleted me right as I was sending the snap *sweat drop emoji*
HB: You have to say something….
Me: Well I’m very sorry if that made you feel bad baby. Like I said I was sending you a snap right before I was going to hop in the shower. But communication is also super important to me and that’s my fault… and I hate so much that it upset you. Would you be okay with starting over if I promise to make sure to communicate better with you?
Me: I was getting ready to shower and sent you a snap 25 minutes ago
Me: Had nothing to do with you! I think you deleted me right as I was sending the snap *sweat drop emoji*
HB: You have to say something….
Me: Well I’m very sorry if that made you feel bad baby. Like I said I was sending you a snap right before I was going to hop in the shower. But communication is also super important to me and that’s my fault… and I hate so much that it upset you. Would you be okay with starting over if I promise to make sure to communicate better with you?
Now I really begin the serious business and work to build tons of comfort + compliance, derived from the methods I’ve developed while on Kinkoo. As written in my journal, I’m not going to share the specifics of it right now… but if you’re close to me and want to see an example, then I can show you more.
Also, I do not have our Snap messages archived until she changed the settings to “Delete After 24 Hours” later in the conversation. I’ll include the Snap messaging from this point:
*Note: This is NOT exactly my usual textgame, if that needs to be said… it is specialized in this case obviously though does take LOTS of insights from my recent practice...
HB: *sends me a list of her BDSM preferences after I asked for more specific details, including her favorite kinks, areas of comfort, limits, etc., (though “babygirl/good girl” are her favorite things to be called)
Me: Wonderful my new babygirl. Because what I truly want the most is for you to feel the most extreme amounts of pleasure possible and give you the absolute best experience, does that make sense?
HB: Yes Sir it does! May I ask what you what are some of your favorite kinks (I had previously instructed her to always capitalize “Sir” – mostly for compliance reasons)
Me: Yes, you have permission to ask me anything anytime unless otherwise instructed and for good reason (like during some specific play or something *wink-face emoji*). My absolute favorite things are probably leashing/collaring and bondage overall. I love the feeling knowing that my babygirl is mine and mine only *heart emoji*
HB: I absolutely love that Sir
*sends me a picture*
Me: Wonderful my new babygirl. I just love the intimacy of owning my baby and helping you indulge in the lustful pleasures you truly deserve.
*I send her a picture of the really elegant (in my opinion, at least) collar that I have… and have been hoping to use on a sexy girl like her *
Me: This is the collar I use for special slavegirls. Do you think it looks sexy baby?
HB: It is very sexy Sir
Me: Could you imagine yourself on your knees looking up at my naked, muscular body while I tug on the tassel and play with your hair?
HB: Yes Sir, I would love for you to do that *teary-eyes emoji*
HB: Do you have others right now Sir (I know what she will want to hear)
Me: No baby, I am now at the point where I am looking for one special slavegirl to call my one and only. Do you like how that sounds?
HB: I love the way that sounds Sir
HB: I actually prefer it that way.
Me: Wonderful. Some girls don’t fully understand true intimacy but I feel like you do.
HB: Yes Sir, I truly do! I am looking for something more deep than just a Dom in the bedroom
Me: That sounds absolutely perfect because I just adore helping girls grow and reach their full potentials.
HB: May I see more pictures of you Sir?
Me: Imagine what it would be life if we were having this discussion while you cuddled in my lap and I held you closely on a leash.
HB: That would be absolutely perfect *two heart-eyes emojis*
Me: Did you like seeing my body before babygirl?
HB: What are the odds of you coming to me? Or me coming to you?
HB: Also yes Sir I did!! I enjoy seeing your face and body
Me: Are you able to come to [my town] tonight baby? Sadly I do not have a car but would love to talk and snuggle with you *blushing smile emoji*
HB: Would I have to come back tonight? And do you live alone?
Me: I have one roommate but I barely even see him because he goes back and forth from [town] (this is true, but I am also landmarking as fog calls it) all the time. He’s a good guy as well
Me: Babygirl you could stay the night or head home whenever you want to! Completely just how you feel *blushing smile emoji*
HB: I want to come
Me: Amazing baby. I can’t wait to see you and spend time together *heart-eyes emoji*
Me: My address is [address]. I live right by a cute little ice cream shop
HB: When would you want me to come Sir?
Me: I would like you to come right away so we can play and cuddle *blushing kiss emoji*
HB: Yes sir, I have to get ready
Me: Completely understand babygirl. Send me a message when you’re about to leave and let me know about the time you’ll get here.
Me: And don’t forget to capitalize Sir *blowing heart kiss emoji* (wanted to make this point for compliance reasons)
HB: Yes Sir!! Can I please see more pictures of you now? I am a little nervous
Me: Sure baby. Your comfort is the most important thing. I’ll snap you another pic
*send her a pic of me pulling my shirt halfway up, in the same location/mirror as before*
HB: Also, may I have your number?
Me: Of course! [my Google Voice number]
HB: Thank you Sir
Me: No worries. Your comfort and happiness is absolutely the most important thing. Are you feeling super comfortable now
HB: I feel a lot more comfortable now Sir
HB: But there’s always the slight chance of something dangerous happening
HB: I watch a lot of Criminal Minds *monkey covering eyes emoji and laughing emoji*
Me: Haha I get that for sure. But not with me and it’s just that simple. I’m about the girl, always
Me: If you would like to video chat for a minute we can even do that! All about what makes you feel super safe and excited to come spend time together. I have a sister myself and truly understand how things can be for girls these days. Again it’s all about making your experience as amazing as I want it to be *heart emoji*
HB: That would be perfect *heart eyes emoji*
Me: I’ll give you a little call then *blowing heart kiss emoji*
*We video call for a few minutes. She is in a little red nightgown and doing her hair. Looks good. I try to bring super warm vibes as we discuss comfort and connection. She asks about my sister. I like her Southern accent a lot. Like this girl a lot overall. We hang up and seems like she’s feeling really good. Says she’ll let me know when she’s leaving – it’ll be about an hour and a half drive for her. It’s around 6:00 PM right now.*
*About 20 minutes later, she sends me a snap of her about to leave the house*
*I send a snap back*
HB: Um
HB: What number did you give me.
HB: Now I’m sketched out
Me: [Google Voice number]
Me: That’s it *sweat drop emoji*
HB: Yeah I tried to call that number (I did not see the call)
HB: Soooo it’s not your real number.
Me: Ohhh no had the ringer off, I call you right back
*I call her, seeing the missed call in the app*
HB: *sends me a list of her BDSM preferences after I asked for more specific details, including her favorite kinks, areas of comfort, limits, etc., (though “babygirl/good girl” are her favorite things to be called)
Me: Wonderful my new babygirl. Because what I truly want the most is for you to feel the most extreme amounts of pleasure possible and give you the absolute best experience, does that make sense?
HB: Yes Sir it does! May I ask what you what are some of your favorite kinks (I had previously instructed her to always capitalize “Sir” – mostly for compliance reasons)
Me: Yes, you have permission to ask me anything anytime unless otherwise instructed and for good reason (like during some specific play or something *wink-face emoji*). My absolute favorite things are probably leashing/collaring and bondage overall. I love the feeling knowing that my babygirl is mine and mine only *heart emoji*
HB: I absolutely love that Sir
*sends me a picture*
Me: Wonderful my new babygirl. I just love the intimacy of owning my baby and helping you indulge in the lustful pleasures you truly deserve.
*I send her a picture of the really elegant (in my opinion, at least) collar that I have… and have been hoping to use on a sexy girl like her
*Me: This is the collar I use for special slavegirls. Do you think it looks sexy baby?
HB: It is very sexy Sir
Me: Could you imagine yourself on your knees looking up at my naked, muscular body while I tug on the tassel and play with your hair?
HB: Yes Sir, I would love for you to do that *teary-eyes emoji*
HB: Do you have others right now Sir (I know what she will want to hear)
Me: No baby, I am now at the point where I am looking for one special slavegirl to call my one and only. Do you like how that sounds?
HB: I love the way that sounds Sir
HB: I actually prefer it that way.
Me: Wonderful. Some girls don’t fully understand true intimacy but I feel like you do.
HB: Yes Sir, I truly do! I am looking for something more deep than just a Dom in the bedroom
Me: That sounds absolutely perfect because I just adore helping girls grow and reach their full potentials.
HB: May I see more pictures of you Sir?
Me: Imagine what it would be life if we were having this discussion while you cuddled in my lap and I held you closely on a leash.
HB: That would be absolutely perfect *two heart-eyes emojis*
Me: Did you like seeing my body before babygirl?
HB: What are the odds of you coming to me? Or me coming to you?
HB: Also yes Sir I did!! I enjoy seeing your face and body
Me: Are you able to come to [my town] tonight baby? Sadly I do not have a car but would love to talk and snuggle with you *blushing smile emoji*
HB: Would I have to come back tonight? And do you live alone?
Me: I have one roommate but I barely even see him because he goes back and forth from [town] (this is true, but I am also landmarking as fog calls it) all the time. He’s a good guy as well
Me: Babygirl you could stay the night or head home whenever you want to! Completely just how you feel *blushing smile emoji*
HB: I want to come
Me: Amazing baby. I can’t wait to see you and spend time together *heart-eyes emoji*
Me: My address is [address]. I live right by a cute little ice cream shop
HB: When would you want me to come Sir?
Me: I would like you to come right away so we can play and cuddle *blushing kiss emoji*
HB: Yes sir, I have to get ready
Me: Completely understand babygirl. Send me a message when you’re about to leave and let me know about the time you’ll get here.
Me: And don’t forget to capitalize Sir *blowing heart kiss emoji* (wanted to make this point for compliance reasons)
HB: Yes Sir!! Can I please see more pictures of you now? I am a little nervous
Me: Sure baby. Your comfort is the most important thing. I’ll snap you another pic
*send her a pic of me pulling my shirt halfway up, in the same location/mirror as before*
HB: Also, may I have your number?
Me: Of course! [my Google Voice number]
HB: Thank you Sir
Me: No worries
. Your comfort and happiness is absolutely the most important thing. Are you feeling super comfortable nowHB: I feel a lot more comfortable now Sir
HB: But there’s always the slight chance of something dangerous happening
HB: I watch a lot of Criminal Minds *monkey covering eyes emoji and laughing emoji*
Me: Haha I get that for sure. But not with me and it’s just that simple. I’m about the girl, always
Me: If you would like to video chat for a minute we can even do that! All about what makes you feel super safe and excited to come spend time together. I have a sister myself and truly understand how things can be for girls these days. Again it’s all about making your experience as amazing as I want it to be *heart emoji*
HB: That would be perfect *heart eyes emoji*
Me: I’ll give you a little call then *blowing heart kiss emoji*
*We video call for a few minutes. She is in a little red nightgown and doing her hair. Looks good. I try to bring super warm vibes as we discuss comfort and connection. She asks about my sister. I like her Southern accent a lot. Like this girl a lot overall. We hang up and seems like she’s feeling really good. Says she’ll let me know when she’s leaving – it’ll be about an hour and a half drive for her. It’s around 6:00 PM right now.*
*About 20 minutes later, she sends me a snap of her about to leave the house*
*I send a snap back*
HB: Um
HB: What number did you give me.
HB: Now I’m sketched out
Me: [Google Voice number]
Me: That’s it *sweat drop emoji*
HB: Yeah I tried to call that number (I did not see the call)
HB: Soooo it’s not your real number.
Me: Ohhh no had the ringer off, I call you right back
*I call her, seeing the missed call in the app*
I promptly reason that as I’m a college student short on funds, I found this Reddit page full of hacks to save money. One of them was using Google Voice, which operates just like a regular phone number and is completely free, instead of paying for a cell phone service. I mean, she surely knows how it is when you’re penny-pinching and trying to save every buck possible… especially when you’re trying to start your own business like I am…
She accepts this reasoning but also asks for my name. I give her my usual fake name and ask for hers. Which was just what she had for her SnapChat username.
Additionally, she says that she told her sister that she was coming to meet me and will give her my name, phone number, address, and send her a picture of me. Oh god… but I say that I completely understand because this isn’t a typical thing and I want her to feel as comfortable as possible no matter what. In fact, I share how I’m also nervous as well because this is not only her first time meeting someone from Kinkoo, but it’s mine, too. It’s like we’re in the same boat here.
Even though she is calm enough to mention that she’ll still come now, I offer to switch back to a SnapChat video call to show her around my place. I do that and show her around my apartment. She says she feels much better now – I believe it because I can hear it in her voice.
We return back to a phone call as she hops into her car. I did not intend to remain on the phone with her for the entire drive, though after the conversation continued, I realize that this is the best move to help her state while also having her ready once she arrives.
The topics of discussion are wide. Though, the conversation goes very, very well. I am gaming.
HBKittenX opens up about her sexual history which includes a 4-year abusive relationship that she recently ended. How she discovered porn at age 13. What types of porn she watches now, what her kinks are.
In addition, she discusses other troubles in her life. This includes a major car accident she was in last year after a driver fell asleep behind the wheel on a country back road, and how it was almost fatal. She needed significant surgery on her knee and elbow, now having prominent scars. Furthermore, her stepdad is facing child pornography charges amidst other familial issues. Cluster B and major red flags, yes, but I like her and feel comfortable working through these topics while showing perceptiveness of her reality.
Another key moment is when the entire interaction is reframed. She asks me what brough me to Kinkoo – she’s only been on there about a month herself. I talk about looking to find people with similar interests – that dating apps and going out to the bars never seems to establish the type of intimacy that I’m looking for. She agrees. Moreover, I talk about how all of my friends feel objectified on dating apps with men they don’t even know asking them for sex… and how at bars, they are always harassed by creepy guys who don’t understand how to truly connect with women. All of this resonates with her. Plus, she says that sometimes guys will even try to follow her home. I say that I can actually relate to this, even though I never thought that I could, when a gay guy recently tried following me home. Her response is that I must have a cute butt.
In this way, we conclude that meeting each other on Kinkoo is actually safer than traditional dating apps or going out to bars because we have already gone through intensive screening for safety and finding each other highly relatable through our conversations so far.
The SOTs keep on rolling, and I know that things are looking good as her arrival approaches. However, I begin feeling a furthered sense of apprehension regarding my use of a fake name, etc., that she will be sharing with those close to her after we have thoroughly discussed values such as safety, security, and honesty. Furthermore, I will be out of this town in three weeks and already sense that she may become attached – I do not want to hurt her. She’s about 10 minutes away when I exchange messages with my friend and mentor Bacchus about these concerns.
Me: i am not sure that i’m doing the right thing
Me: girl is on her way over
Me: if you have read my journal you’ll know that I’ve been messing around on a BDSM dating app called Kinkoo
Me: literally just messing around
Me: well found a hot girl about an hour and a half away
Me: ran good game
Me: and yeah now she’s coming over
Me: video called and been on the phone with her for an hour plus
Me: doing well game wise and everything
Me: but like she has already found out that i am using Google Voice and questioned that
Me: BSed my way through it and everything
Me: but she’s also told her sister that she’s coming over to my place
Me: and wants to tell her my name and send a picture of me to her
Me: already gave her a fake name and it may become an issue
Me: the lay is almost for sure but this girl is going to want like a legitimate relationship
Me: and i am out of this town in three weeks
Me: like this girl is driving an hour to be put on a leash by me
Me: i am almost doing too well over the phone
Me: she is ten minutes away now
Me: fake name will be an issue man
Me: can feel it coming
Bacchus: ?
Bacchus: you gave a fake name on the app
Bacchus: is that an issue?
Me: she asked me on the phone
Bacchus: do you live alone?
Bacchus: because if you do you can just keep it going and tell her later that you had a bad exp with a needy/crazy chick
Me: pretty absent roommate so basically
Bacchus: simple
Me: i have been doing too well with these honesty frames
Me: being too Mach
Bacchus: nothing wrong with mach
Bacchus: and nothing is right wither
Bacchus: things are either a pragmatic choice to make or they aren’t
Me: yeah for sure i just don’t want her to make a big deal about anything
Bacchus: bang her first
Me: once i break this off in a few weeks
Bacchus: stay focused on the present
Bacchus: anxiety is just a future projection
Me: thanks
Me: she’s cool but i’m like almost making her too attached
Me: even just over the phone
Bacchus: it happens during these times
Bacchus: cause of social isolation
Me: thanks for the words
Me: she’s about to be here
Me: feel a bit better
Me: i’ll focus on the present
Me: i can handle what comes
Me: as long as i give her a good experience
Bacchus: exactly
Me: girl is on her way over
Me: if you have read my journal you’ll know that I’ve been messing around on a BDSM dating app called Kinkoo
Me: literally just messing around
Me: well found a hot girl about an hour and a half away
Me: ran good game
Me: and yeah now she’s coming over
Me: video called and been on the phone with her for an hour plus
Me: doing well game wise and everything
Me: but like she has already found out that i am using Google Voice and questioned that
Me: BSed my way through it and everything
Me: but she’s also told her sister that she’s coming over to my place
Me: and wants to tell her my name and send a picture of me to her
Me: already gave her a fake name and it may become an issue
Me: the lay is almost for sure but this girl is going to want like a legitimate relationship
Me: and i am out of this town in three weeks
Me: like this girl is driving an hour to be put on a leash by me
Me: i am almost doing too well over the phone
Me: she is ten minutes away now
Me: fake name will be an issue man
Me: can feel it coming
Bacchus: ?
Bacchus: you gave a fake name on the app
Bacchus: is that an issue?
Me: she asked me on the phone
Bacchus: do you live alone?
Bacchus: because if you do you can just keep it going and tell her later that you had a bad exp with a needy/crazy chick
Me: pretty absent roommate so basically
Bacchus: simple
Me: i have been doing too well with these honesty frames
Me: being too Mach
Bacchus: nothing wrong with mach
Bacchus: and nothing is right wither
Bacchus: things are either a pragmatic choice to make or they aren’t
Me: yeah for sure i just don’t want her to make a big deal about anything
Bacchus: bang her first
Me: once i break this off in a few weeks
Bacchus: stay focused on the present
Bacchus: anxiety is just a future projection
Me: thanks
Me: she’s cool but i’m like almost making her too attached
Me: even just over the phone
Bacchus: it happens during these times
Bacchus: cause of social isolation
Me: thanks for the words
Me: she’s about to be here
Me: feel a bit better
Me: i’ll focus on the present
Me: i can handle what comes
Me: as long as i give her a good experience
Bacchus: exactly
I tell her where to park, slip on my shoes, and walk down to meet her outside. I’m wearing the same outfit as I showed in the pictures for social frame reasons – a grey tee, jeans, my black suede PUMAs, and a backwards black hat.
She spots me from her car and steps out. My eyes are met with a tantalizing figure – tall and slim. Only maybe a few inches shorter than me. On her body is an olive-colored romper with a strap tied around her waist. It goes well to complement her hazel eyes and brunette hair.
The eye contact locks. We meet in an embrace. I pull away. Look at deeply. We do what feels natural. Make-out. Intensely.
I lead her inside with my left arm around her.
3
We enter me apartment. Ask her if would like any water. Negative. Make a quick comment about how I don’t think my roommate is here right now. Helps her feel comfortable. Guide her gently into my bedroom. Have her sit on my bed. Brief comment about connection. She’s very ready to go. Make-out. Intensely. I’m laying on top of her. Making out, intensely.
Pulling away, I gaze at her romper. My thoughts are her thoughts. Calibrated thoughts – we’re on the same wavelength. She asks if I would like her to take it all off, with part of the implicity being that it looks mighty confusing to take off and the other part being that she wants to take it off. I reply to yes, take it all off. My shirt also comes off at this point.
While she does, I slip on my special necklace and bracelet. They’ve been my buddies for so long now, a part of every lay. I would like to keep it that way. For the first time in months, it takes me a moment to hook on my necklace… she even asks if I would like her to help me. But at that moment it hooks on, bracelet on. It was a little pause in the escalation especially as I had to stand up to grab them, but I knew that I was good. While I stand leaning against my bed, she doesn’t even have to be told what to do next. HBKittenX stands herself up nude before dropping to her knees before me. Her body looks very nice. Her big hazel eyes look very nice looking upwards.
Her soft hands begin to graze against my jeans. Please Sir, please, please may I suck your cock…
Arouse and tempt, though. Arouse and tempt.
While I sex talk and tease, I methodically glide her hands to my belt. Take it off.
Each next progression to unveiling my naked cock becomes more and more drawn out. Her begs percolate the air with sexual tension. When the last of my clothing is off, I give her one more command before she has permission to slide my big, hard, cock into her wet little mouth. To kiss all the way up from my left foot all the way to my dick and lick it before it pops inside of her soft lips. She excitedly does as told.
Dick goes in mouth.
And it is not just any, run-of-the-mill blowjob.
This girl is going bonkers on my cock. Almost facefucking herself with sloppy goodness. It feels so amazing that I almost let one slip despite my months of tantric orgasm control.
But before I cum in her mouth, there’s something I’d like to do to her. I ask if he’s ever been put on a leash. Her answer is yes, although in hindsight I’m not sure it was the truth.
Now here comes an important point. I know that Chase, Bacchus, Teevster, Linguinator, and other have all told me that you should be extremely wary of pushing girls too far during the first sex session, and perhaps even the first few sex sessions. Remember HBMarina? Cold Weather Sunrise? My other porn-inspired escapades?
But I thought this time had to be different. We met on a BDSM dating app. The premise was BDSM sex. We discussed BDSM sex. Discussed what we both liked and fantasizes about. I thought this must be an outlier here.
So I go all-out.
I leash her with the elegant, tasseled collar I showed her over SnapChat. Take her over to the mirror on the back of my closet door as she crawls to my side. And watch her hungrily devour my hard cock, take my cum, and say, Thank you Sir…
Playing with her hair and holding her face, I give her kisses and validate her with a comment about how her blowjobs are so much better than those of the sorority girls. Smiles and giggles.
I guide the crawling kitten over to my bed, and she joins me on the sheets once I give her permission to do so. Here comes lots of sex talking, pacing, and intimate touching and kissing all over her body. I become so into her teased arousal that I almost forget that hey, she has a pussy that is all mine.
My right hand strokes downward her body, met by continued little hip thrusts. Once I reach her pussy lips, I am a bit taken aback by how warm and wet her pussy is. Soaked. Dripping. I have her taste my fingers, too. Mhmmm, you’re so wet for me, aren’t you, baby?
Yes Sir, I’m so wet for you Sir…
Her words of complete and total submission make me quite happy. So happy, in fact, that after teasing her pussy with my fingers, I decide that it’s time to penetrate her soul.
ED… what ED? My months of dedicated recovery now see me nearly fully erect not too long after ejaculation. It feels good.
Skyn condom on. Small rubs against the clit. And my hard cock feels the soft material known as her pussy.
This becomes my best dicking yet. By far. Plenty of freezing based upon the Eros Technique, smooth motions, continuing kisses and touches and fingers in her mouth. Good. It feels good.
We continue.
She does what I want her to do.
Releases.
We cuddle a little as my attention goes to leveraging her heightened state of arousal. Each time she cums, I remember to rub the base of her spine in circles as the Eros Technique recommends to increase the duration of her orgasms. Orgasms of which she didn’t know could come in 8 different types. Though she knows now. And also about the Mental G-Spot…
A compliment comes from her that I really know what I’m doing. Nice.
Then, somehow, as sex somehow goes, she ends up on all fours as I comfortably relax on my futon. The good little kitten worships my feet with her mouth – soft kisses and strokes of her tongue – as I enjoy the view and sensations with a silver chained leash in-hand.
Once she performs to my satisfaction, I stand up and get behind her as my left hand goes on the middle of her back and the right plays with her pussy, similarly wet as before.
Her head even slides under the futon as she giddily moans and writhes. The pleads for permission to cum sound soothing to my hears, just as her sounds of pleasure once permission is granted.
For some time following, I return to sitting on the futon while she lays her head in my lap. My arms around her, moving up and down her back. She explains how happy she is and how good she feels, that she would like to stay in this position for a while. I think it’s a good idea.
An intriguing observation comes from her. She inquires if I have ADHD or ADD. I ask why. It’s because she’s a nursing and psychology major and noticed certain tendencies about my behavior. I’ve never been diagnosed nor intend on being tested, but it is an interesting note that yes, I am quite calm in general, but along with my calmness is my urge to always be moving, always be doing.
Along with this is the discussion I was having with Bismarck just hours before. About how nurses are good examples of those who have high likelihoods of being SUBs. The world works in mysterious ways, indeed.
We eventually return to bed for further cuddles and snuggles, but only after she awaits on her knees for water; I get some, then feed it to her in little sips. Liminality.
A request comes to watch TV, but I reply that I’d rather just talk instead. I really wish that I would have said okay to this even though I don’t like watching TV much. Clearly, it was part of her fantasy to be dominated and then watch her favorite shows as I would hold her closely.
Still, we have a good conversation. And I did think that we’d work in her favorite TV shows later as well. But I really wanted to have those Witch15 type of post-sex conversations. I have her tell me about her favorite things, favorite adventures, about her person. I love hearing how she goes hiking to pick blackberries on her pawpaw’s land and the other stories reminiscent of a beautiful, rural small-town raised, Southern girl. Truth be told, it gives the entire experience a sense of extravagant surrealism.
Spontaneously fuck more. Back to cuddling and enjoying each other. Her words rush out that she loves everything about me. My face, my body, my voice, the way that I take care of her, the way that I focus on her… everything.
Warm, fuzzy feelings.
But out of nowhere, all of a sudden, her body folds up in pain. I don’t know what’s going on except that she’s hurting. And holding her knee with the big scar from the car accident.
Tons of thoughts race through my mand. Was I too rough with her? Did I put her in uncomfortable positions? Did I tear her ACL or something…?
Trying to hold, comfort, and soothe her in this moment, I simply lightly graze my hand upon her as she explains what’s going on.
She says she sometimes has these random spasms of pain as the nerves grow back. The mood becomes rather somber. It’s moments like these, she says, that make her want to sue the man who hit her. She didn’t, though, because he was a neighbor and family friend.
Going into her bag, she looks for her medication. It’s not there. She must have left it at home… and we discuss what happens next. Because she wants to stay the night with, and planned to stay the night with me. But also knows that she needs to take the meds.
She sadly says that she needs to go home to get them. An hour drive that will end our night together. I don’t think that I should reason her out of this, even if she wanted me to. Like I told her before, I want her to have the best experience possible. Unraveling fantasies, sure, but also staying safe and making pragmatic decisions. I simply ask her a few times whether she thinks that she’ll be okay driving with her knee hurting. Her answer is yes. I tell her to text me when she gets home. She says she definitely will. I know that she’ll likely be checking in with her sister, too, on the drive back. So that helps me feel better as well.
But seriously, I dominated her very much. A lot a lot. Really dominated this girl.
More aftercare was needed. Teevster has told me that it is recommended to spend at least 12 hours with a girl following kinky stuff.
Once again, I found myself in a tough situation.
HBKittenX dresses. As do I. Pack up her stuff with light kisses and touches as it happens. Asks me for water to take with, and I give her some.
Walk her down as I support her ginger steps with an arm around her. The sounds from her lips are again quite surreal as she informs me that no man has ever treated her as well as I have tonight. Which is cool. But again, yeah, I did really dominate her. But I always tried to be picking up on what she was enjoying and that was my foremost priority. Harmonic pleasure between us.
We’re almost to the care when she makes a few more comments between our kisses.
“You’re perfect, you know that? Has anyone ever told you that you’re perfect?”
I don’t say anything.
“Well, you are perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. You’re perfect…”
Our steps reach her car. Passionate final two make-outs. She’d love to come again, if I’d have her. I respond that I’m a bit busy with work, but we’ll definitely find the time. Wish I would have just smiled and said a big emphatic yes. Let her fantasies live forever. That’s what it’s all about.
I step to the sidewalk. The brunette kitten waves to me from inside the car.
Turning away, I take my steps forward and don’t look back.
4
All in all, our wild romp lasted almost two hours. I make note of the time she should be home. I’m worried about her driving considering her ailing knee and her history of car accidents.
Once I return inside my apartment, I do a little giddy jump while smiling, my fist pumping through the hair in excitement. A loud, vocalized, Let’s go!
She was a lot of fun. I’ve faced my share of challenges since my own Seducer’s Journey has begun. I’ve learned to not take these experiences for granted.
As the clock extends past 11:00, I’ve cleaned up my room on this Wednesday night. Usually, I’d be planning which donut to get. Chocolate mocha? Lemon filled? The one with the vanilla icing and fresh strawberries on top?
But it’s nighttime and not the dawning hours as it has been after my lays over the past… 11 months almost? Wow… 11 months in The Game for the purple novice…
Anyway, I decide that I’ll just go get a sandwich instead of waiting until the morning for a donut. I kinda regret this too because I should have kept that tradition going, I think.
Yeah, though, I go get a sandwich. Go to The Bench where I’ve had so many streetgaming experiences. Propped up on my phone, feeling the rush when I see a hot girl in my periphery.
Memories flood back.
The sad whimpers and streaming tears of HBAzure.
The nippy air when HBStrawberryPrincess wrapped her arms around me.
The amusement I felt when HBBlueSparkle told off her ex on the phone to come sit next to me instead.
And of course, all the opportunities that I grew from but didn’t lay.
It’s hard not to get a little emotional.
Some girls pass me, but I’m not paying attention right now. I’m just eating my sandwich.
I wander around the streets for hours longer. Enjoying the beautiful night, reliving the beautiful nights before, and breathing in the air.
The text from HBKittenX never comes, not even as I stride into my apartment past 3:00 AM. I know something is wrong. The dreadful feeling of Googling her name and seeing something that I don’t want to see is a thought that creeps in my mind. Did she get into an accident? Should I have let her leave?
Adding to this feeling is another story I recall from Teevster. After my missteps with HBMarina, he told me that he once had a very kinky time with a very experienced kinky girl. So experienced and kinky that she had whips hanging on the wall.
He told me that even she felt weird after their first time having sex together. And to never push things too far in these situations, no matter her experience level. Top, experienced seducers have told me this!!
And the sinking feeling hits me. I pushed things too far. Again. The “premise” that I believed was BDSM sex did not justify how far I took things, even if she really enjoyed them in the moment. Add to that the lack of proper aftercare, and I know that once again, I made the same mistakes.
You know what they say. Fool me once…
Also, I had sent her a text asking if she was home earlier in the night.
Not receiving a response also increased my concern into the next day. Was she even still alive…?
It seems that there’s always hiccups in all of my experiences. I have long realized that I am the common denominator here. There are things that I must fix – some things that I am aware of, and others unknown.
Still no response as Thursday continues. I try giving her a call, then send her a snap asking about her knee. Also make note of her Snap score to see if increases at all. It doesn’t as the day turns to night.
Well, I reason that I’ll send one more text just to cover my bases. Whether I see this girl again or not doesn’t really matter to me (as long as she’s okay), but I would like to do everything possible to ensure I handle everything thing correctly now. This text is sent on Thursday night:
Because I knew something was wrong.
On Friday, I notice her Snap score increasing and that’s all I needed to feel better and move on. Around noon, she also sends me a snap of her laying down that says something like, “I’m very sorry, I haven’t been feeling well.”
I send a snap back which she still hasn’t opened. Noticed her Kinkoo profile is also deleted as well.
In my mind, a few things could have happened.
- She began to feel bad and slutty/ASD/FSC while driving home, knowing that her sister and other knew that she was just fucked. And in addition, the lack of proper aftercare to prevent these feelings.
- Her sister and those who knew about her meeting me highly disapproved of this (which I did sense from how she discussed it) and shamed her to delete her Kinkoo account and cut contact with me. She also mentioned how she was close to a few family members and gave them access to her phone/devices – she was an “open-book” to them.
- She actually just hasn’t been feeling well… I don’t know, maybe she did get sick coupled with the aching from her knee
Regardless, I lived some of my own fantasies with a girl who was more than excited to be the co-star in them. And did it feel good. Very good. Really fucking good.
Cold, hard, warm, soft, chained, unchained reality.
A taste of sweet milk, sweet honey. Just a taste, a sip.
Onto the true promised land because it exists, it’s out there, I believe it so.
After all, honey makes you thirsty.
*Note - I cannot recommend the use of Kinkoo due to the scammers who frequent the place. If you do choose to use it, please reach out to me about how to use it safely and connect with real, normal, hot people.
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