- Joined
- May 21, 2023
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- 352
I just saw this thread by @lutgardis, who is struggling to overcome the sort of negative thinking that is inevitable when one starts out with cold approach.
It reminded me of something that's not so often talked about, but was instrumental to me persisting through the challenging early days of daygame, and that's the power of having a motivating, inspiring, positive voice in your head taken from a role model.
Rejection pushes us into negative thought patterns. Nobody is invulnerable to this. Each rejection amplifies the critical voice in your head. Unless you do something about it, that voice will beat you down until you give up.
The negative voice never entirely goes away, but you can replace it. You need to drown it out by immersing yourself in the thoughts of someone more successful than you.
As an example, my early daygame voices were Chase (for seduction in general) and Tom Torero (for daygame specifically). This was simply a result of reading and listening to tons of their content. If you absorb enough of someone's thoughts, eventually you gain the power to "incarnate" them in your mind. It's like a Jedi power (without the mind tricks - that's NLP lol)
So when I went out to talk to girls, Tom was actually with me. He helped me warm up, told me "good job" after each approach, even the failed ones, and gave me constructive feedback. His "voice" was based on the seminars, podcasts, writings, infields, and footage that I had digested. I would repeat some of his lines "the first is always the worst, so let's get it out of the way", and it would help me get into action.
It sounds a bit nuts, but I probably would never have persisted in cold approach without doing this. Like OP, I would be struggling with the death spiral of negative thoughts (or "trauma" as he calls it - but those who meditate understand that whether you see something as negative or positive depends entirely on how you frame it in your mind).
These are some of the voices in my head nowadays:
Chase Amante (for everything...)
Alek Rolstad (night game, sexual framing, sex talk)
Tom Torero (RIP... he still lives on in my head as my daygame voice, podcasts are still there too)
David Goggins (after reading Can't Hurt Me and listening to his podcasts on JRE - he's an ass-kicking motivator)
Alan Watts (sometimes when I'm feeling melancholic or spiritually inclined)
The guys from the My First Million podcast (two optimistic entrepreneurs with unconventional thinking)
Formerly: Andrew Tate (decided to kick him out after I got disillusioned with his redpill lifestyle-maxxing dogma)
The other side of this is people you try to emulate in your actual game. For this you need to pick carefully, because it should be someone who is congruent with your existing personality.
As an example, after reading @StrayDog's thread about the power of a slow walk, I watched Saturday Night Fever (such a good movie), then went out and daygamed emulating Travolta's swagger from that movie. Sounds stupid, but it actually got me a ton of IOIs and I number closed some real hotties (most of them flaked though - so maybe that illustrates the congruence thing).
Chase has also mentioned that he modelled his early game on Val Kilmer from The Saint (which I intend to watch this weekend - has been on my list for ages).
Anyway, all this is to say, if you're starting out and struggling with negative voices telling you that you're a loser, a failure, awkward, cringy or whatever for doing cold approach, you need to replace that voice with a kind, reassuring, constructive one. The way to do that is by voraciously consuming the thoughts of your role models. Read GirlsChase articles, watch the GC TV videos and Hector's youtube videos, watch infields and interviews with skilled seducers, and even read the lay reports here for inspiration.
Immerse yourself in the thoughts of your role models, and you won't have to beat the negative thinking anymore - they'll do it for you.
It reminded me of something that's not so often talked about, but was instrumental to me persisting through the challenging early days of daygame, and that's the power of having a motivating, inspiring, positive voice in your head taken from a role model.
Rejection pushes us into negative thought patterns. Nobody is invulnerable to this. Each rejection amplifies the critical voice in your head. Unless you do something about it, that voice will beat you down until you give up.
The negative voice never entirely goes away, but you can replace it. You need to drown it out by immersing yourself in the thoughts of someone more successful than you.
As an example, my early daygame voices were Chase (for seduction in general) and Tom Torero (for daygame specifically). This was simply a result of reading and listening to tons of their content. If you absorb enough of someone's thoughts, eventually you gain the power to "incarnate" them in your mind. It's like a Jedi power (without the mind tricks - that's NLP lol)
So when I went out to talk to girls, Tom was actually with me. He helped me warm up, told me "good job" after each approach, even the failed ones, and gave me constructive feedback. His "voice" was based on the seminars, podcasts, writings, infields, and footage that I had digested. I would repeat some of his lines "the first is always the worst, so let's get it out of the way", and it would help me get into action.
It sounds a bit nuts, but I probably would never have persisted in cold approach without doing this. Like OP, I would be struggling with the death spiral of negative thoughts (or "trauma" as he calls it - but those who meditate understand that whether you see something as negative or positive depends entirely on how you frame it in your mind).
These are some of the voices in my head nowadays:
Chase Amante (for everything...)
Alek Rolstad (night game, sexual framing, sex talk)
Tom Torero (RIP... he still lives on in my head as my daygame voice, podcasts are still there too)
David Goggins (after reading Can't Hurt Me and listening to his podcasts on JRE - he's an ass-kicking motivator)
Alan Watts (sometimes when I'm feeling melancholic or spiritually inclined)
The guys from the My First Million podcast (two optimistic entrepreneurs with unconventional thinking)
Formerly: Andrew Tate (decided to kick him out after I got disillusioned with his redpill lifestyle-maxxing dogma)
The other side of this is people you try to emulate in your actual game. For this you need to pick carefully, because it should be someone who is congruent with your existing personality.
As an example, after reading @StrayDog's thread about the power of a slow walk, I watched Saturday Night Fever (such a good movie), then went out and daygamed emulating Travolta's swagger from that movie. Sounds stupid, but it actually got me a ton of IOIs and I number closed some real hotties (most of them flaked though - so maybe that illustrates the congruence thing).
Chase has also mentioned that he modelled his early game on Val Kilmer from The Saint (which I intend to watch this weekend - has been on my list for ages).
Anyway, all this is to say, if you're starting out and struggling with negative voices telling you that you're a loser, a failure, awkward, cringy or whatever for doing cold approach, you need to replace that voice with a kind, reassuring, constructive one. The way to do that is by voraciously consuming the thoughts of your role models. Read GirlsChase articles, watch the GC TV videos and Hector's youtube videos, watch infields and interviews with skilled seducers, and even read the lay reports here for inspiration.
Immerse yourself in the thoughts of your role models, and you won't have to beat the negative thinking anymore - they'll do it for you.
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