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- Nov 20, 2012
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Introduction
In this article I’m going to shatter some common misconceptions by not only explaining what “Game,” “seduction” and “attraction” are but also how they relate to one another.
But first, label each of the following statements as true or false:
By the end of this article you will understand why each of the statements above are false and will have a much better understanding of how to accomplish your goals with women.
What is Attraction?
The technical definition of “attraction” is the feeling of interest towards another person.
On the surface it makes sense that many men approach women with the goal of “creating attraction.” But is this goal ultimately helpful?
To understand this you need to understand something about women and attraction…
To women, attraction is not synonymous with feeling a desire to sleep with you.
With men attraction and lust often go hand in hand and because of this we often look at the two as really being the same thing. When we walk through a crowd and see a drop dead gorgeous women we feel attraction and at the same time we also know that we would like to take her to bed. For us attraction and the desire to sleep with her arrive hand in hand.
The desire to sleep with a person can be summed up in one word: Lust.
Women can feel attracted to a man without also feeling lust. For them it is two separate emotions that often do not arrive at the same time.
While most men see attraction as the goal, this is actually misguided due to a faulty belief of most men.
If you are like most men you see attraction as the prize! Surely if you just get her to feel attraction towards you then your goal of sleeping with her will come true. The truth is, you are giving attraction entirely to much power.
Attraction is common.
Attraction is an emotion.
Women are emotional.
Emotions come and go to women quickly.
A women walking through a crowded mall will feel a sense of attraction towards dozens of men. In fact, any straight man walking through a crowded mall will likely feel attraction towards dozens of women.
If women become attracted to dozens of men routinely why are they then not sleeping with lots more men? Surely they would all have hundreds of sexual partners by the age of 21?
The reason goes back to the difference between attraction and lust.
These dozens of men she passes in the mall may passively inspire attraction within her, but they do nothing to turn that attraction into lust. In fact, most of these men remain entirely unaware they are even found attractive to many women.
Nearly all men overestimate how hard it is to inspire attraction within a woman’s mind.
While it is true there exist a certain amount of subjectivity to what we all find attractive, it is also true that both men and women are biologically designed to find certain traits attractive.
For men we generally find long hair, slim waist, good size boobs and butts, symmetrical faces, etc to be attractive. When we see a woman like this we have no choice but to find her attractive.
Women are the same way. When she walks past a man who is in decent shape, has a symmetrical face, and walks with good posture, etc she also cant help but feel attraction. The feeling may not be very strong; in fact in may be so subtle that her conscious mind hardly registers it, but her mind processes what she sees and the feeling of attraction is created from it.
Men and women alike have no control over feeling attraction no more than we can control our need to breath oxygen.
Both men and women, however, can control if they ACT on that feeling of attraction just as we can choose to hold our breaths. Attraction is not a choice, acting on it is.
Lust is how to get a woman to act on her feelings of attraction. More on this later…
NOTE: Technically lust + compliance but thats for another article
Creating Attraction
Most guys focus on “creating attraction” and they do so with the help of certain tactics and techniques.
Remember, attraction is common. The cute girl walking through the mall feels some level of attraction towards a dozen men.
The question isn’t “how do I create attraction” but rather “how do I become one of those dozen men?”
The best way to become one of those dozen men is to work on something collectively called “The Fundamentals.”
Chase has already done a great job of breaking down fundamentals into a list:
To truly grasp why improving your fundamentals is important you must understand a difference between men and women….
Men primarily gauges attractiveness by judging a girls physical looks. For most of us you can take swimsuit model, put her in a potato sack, and most of us men would still find her physically attractive. We would all still rate her decently high on the 1 - 10 scale simply because she looks good
Luckily for us men, women are different! Women dont just arrive at their judgement based just on a mans raw physical looks but rather the TOTAL OVERALL picture.
Sarah is walking through the mall when she passes Mike. Mike is tall, has a chiseled jaw and six pack abs. Unfortunately for Mike he is also wearing old dirty clothes and it looks like his mother cut his hair. He is also walking hunched over like he is unsure of himself and the look on his face is negative.
Next Sarah passes Damon. Damon is an inch or two shorter than average but he is standing tall with his chin up and shoulders back. He isn’t as fit as Mike but hes not out of shape either. He has a little bit of visible muscle mass and he has a few intriguing tattoos visible. Damon is dressed in distressed slim fit black jeans, black boots, a plain slim fit black shirt, with a necklace and some bracelets on. Sarah is reminded of the men on the rock band posters that she had on her wall (and fantasized about) a few years ago when she was a teenager. His face is nothing spectacular but his cool hairstyle and well trimmed facial hair make his face look more masculine and attractive than it really is. As she walks by, Damon catches her eye and gives her strong eye contact to which she quickly breaks by looking down into submission.
Who inspires a more attraction in Sarah?
While Mike has the better physical looks, Damon has higher Total Overall Attractiveness (TOA).
NOTE: If you want to see a display of how much good fundamentals can improve your TOA, go find a movie on Netflix called “Hitman” and pay attention to the character played by Glen Powell. In the movie Glen plays as a nerdy college professor who pretends to be a bad boy hitman to make a woman fall in love with him. Same guy, same body, same hair, same face yet watch at how his change of clothes, hair style mannerisms, etc takes him from nerdy college professor to charming and sexy bad boy.
The Attraction Threshold
If you were to think of attraction on a 1 -10 scale, whats the minimum a women would have to be before you would sleep with her. Some of you may say “if shes less than a 7 I have no desire to sleep with her.” Others of you may put the answer at “5.” This answer is whats called your Minimum Attraction Threshold (MAT).
Remember, for men attraction is first and foremost characterized by her physical looks. But for women she will instinctually judge a man based on his TOA.
Women also have a threshold. In the above example, its possible that Mike falls below this threshold and that Damon meets or exceeds it.
What happens when a man who falls below her threshold approaches her and it becomes apparent that he is hitting on her?
Her “Cognitive Dissonance” kicks in.
If Mike approached her and said “Hey, you are unbelievably cute and I wanted to meet you” her mind would immediately start making a yes or no decision on attraction for him. Her mind would say “this isn’t the kind of guy you feel attraction for! The other guys who you have had feelings for didn’t dress like this and look unconfident!” Even if she found him “kinda cute maybe” her brain would remind her of how hes different (and not in a good way) from the rest of the men she normally feels attraction for. This dissonance will make her mentally and emotionally uncomfortable and the fastest way to her to resolve this discomfit is to reject him.
“Oh hey thanks but I’m busy I gotta go…” she says to Mike as she flashes a polite smile and walks away.
Every woman has a threshold but the threshold is not set in stone and can change somewhat day to day based upon many factors that include:
The simple truth is this: With enough work and effort, almost any guy can increase his TOA to meet and/or exceed the minimum attraction threshold for most good looking women.
Therefore the question should never be: “How do I generate attraction?”
The real question should be: “How do I get to the point where the vast majority of attractive women find me attractive enough?”
You dont need to transform yourself into a model you simply need to improve to a point where women wont outright reject you do to your TOA.
The answer is to work on your fundamentals.
Seduction 101
Seduction can be defined as the following: Taking women from “Point A” (Feeling attraction) to “Point B” (Feeling lust). The gap between Point A and Point B is closed through “Game.”
Game is how quickly, effectively, and efficiently you are able to close the gap between Point A and Point B.
Game is not about creating attraction. Your fundamentals have either caused enough attraction to meet her threshold or not. Game is about leading her emotions to a point where she is now feeling Lust towards you.
Remember, “Lust” is when she feels a desire to sleep with you.
Earlier I mentioned that for women Attraction and Lust dont automatically arrive hand in hand like it does with us men. Sometimes, however, a feeling of lust will naturally happen within her very quickly upon her realization of her attraction for you.
Why?
She could just be horny and already in a lustful state.
You could remind her very strongly of a past lover she still feels lustful about.
There are many reasons and ultimately it doesn’t matter. If you approach and come to the realization that she already is feeling lust for you, the seduction part is mostly taken care of. Now you just need good logistics, and enough comfort to make her feel safe enough to leave with you. That is where “game” comes in.
If you have ever approached a woman in a bar or club and very quickly had her all over you only to have her not return you text the next day its often times because she was in a heightened emotional state of lust. The problem is that lust is ultimately an emotion and women’s emotions change constantly and rapidly.
She may have been all over you when she was horny in the club but when she awoke the next morning to your text her emotions were completely somewhere else.
There are times a woman might even go to bed with you even without feeling hardly any attraction for you! In some more extreme cases you dont need attraction for her to feel lust. Remember, for women these two emotions are separate! (Note: Its also important to point out that emotionally she can feel attraction towards you but logically not like you.)
If shes at home, bored and horny on a Tuesday, evening, and you text her that you will be in her neighborhood for a couple hours and will have some free time, and she finds no real risk to hooking up with you… she might feel some desire to fuck you. This lust of hers was not borne out of attraction but rather opportunity and hormones.
Nature of Game
Let’s dive a little deeper into what “game” really is…
Game is your ability to recognize how far along in the seduction process you are at, and moving it further along to Point B (Lust) quickly, effectively, and efficiently all the while navigating obstacles that would derail the entire process.
No where does it mention “creating attraction.”
As you bridge the gap between Point A and Point B, her attraction will usually increase as a byproduct.
“Can attraction be created or only amplified?”
This question has been the center of a debate for over 20 years in the seduction community.
Some men will say you can approach a woman who has zero initial attraction and use game too make her highly attracted.
Others will swear that if she has zero initial attraction that its pointless and that you can only use game to increase her levels of attraction.
Let’s take a deeper look into this.
What is attraction?
Though perhaps a bit overly simplistic, attraction is a feeling. It is an emotional state that exist within the mind.
Can you use words and actions to alter a persons emotional state and feelings towards you?
Of course you can. Give a genuine compliment to a person having a bad day and see how their mood and feelings suddenly change.
People who believe that attraction cant be created will often say things like “there are no magic lines that will create attraction!”
I agree. I don’t know if there is any one single “magic” line that can make a women with zero attraction suddenly feel attraction or you. But what if you have a period of time, say 20 minutes, where you can combine lots of words/lines, along with corresponding behaviors that are all designed to influence and alter a persons state of mind and feelings?
And what if you approached a woman indirectly, not using a direct opener that forces her mind into a “yes/no” decision on the spot, and said or did something that aroused within her curiosity? (“hey has anyone ever told you that you have an interesting energy about you?)
And what if you used that time her curiosity brought you to strategically say and do certain things that would influence and possibly alter her state of mind and emotions and steer them in the direction that is more advantageous to your desired outcome?
Could attraction be created?
Sometimes but certainly not every time.
Cult leaders instill much more absurd beliefs, feelings, and emotions in women all the time. Certainly women more stubborn than the average cute girl you will meet on the streets. With enough time, effort, skill, and the right girl I believe you can lead her to nearly any emotion. But at what cost?
Focusing on “creating attraction” is, in my opinion, mostly a waste of time.
Focus your efforts on improving your fundamentals and you will find that even the hottest women will likely have SOME level of attraction for you even if its an incredibly small level.
From there you focus on closing the gap between her attraction and having feelings of lust for you.
The process of closing the gap is called game.
And as far as learning game goes….
You are in the right place.
In this article I’m going to shatter some common misconceptions by not only explaining what “Game,” “seduction” and “attraction” are but also how they relate to one another.
But first, label each of the following statements as true or false:
- Attraction and seduction are the same thing.
- A girl must like you to feel attracted to you.
- Your primary focus when meeting women is to create attraction.
- If she feels attraction towards you she always wants to sleep with you.
By the end of this article you will understand why each of the statements above are false and will have a much better understanding of how to accomplish your goals with women.
What is Attraction?
The technical definition of “attraction” is the feeling of interest towards another person.
On the surface it makes sense that many men approach women with the goal of “creating attraction.” But is this goal ultimately helpful?
To understand this you need to understand something about women and attraction…
To women, attraction is not synonymous with feeling a desire to sleep with you.
With men attraction and lust often go hand in hand and because of this we often look at the two as really being the same thing. When we walk through a crowd and see a drop dead gorgeous women we feel attraction and at the same time we also know that we would like to take her to bed. For us attraction and the desire to sleep with her arrive hand in hand.
The desire to sleep with a person can be summed up in one word: Lust.
Women can feel attracted to a man without also feeling lust. For them it is two separate emotions that often do not arrive at the same time.
While most men see attraction as the goal, this is actually misguided due to a faulty belief of most men.
If you are like most men you see attraction as the prize! Surely if you just get her to feel attraction towards you then your goal of sleeping with her will come true. The truth is, you are giving attraction entirely to much power.
Attraction is common.
Attraction is an emotion.
Women are emotional.
Emotions come and go to women quickly.
A women walking through a crowded mall will feel a sense of attraction towards dozens of men. In fact, any straight man walking through a crowded mall will likely feel attraction towards dozens of women.
If women become attracted to dozens of men routinely why are they then not sleeping with lots more men? Surely they would all have hundreds of sexual partners by the age of 21?
The reason goes back to the difference between attraction and lust.
These dozens of men she passes in the mall may passively inspire attraction within her, but they do nothing to turn that attraction into lust. In fact, most of these men remain entirely unaware they are even found attractive to many women.
Nearly all men overestimate how hard it is to inspire attraction within a woman’s mind.
While it is true there exist a certain amount of subjectivity to what we all find attractive, it is also true that both men and women are biologically designed to find certain traits attractive.
For men we generally find long hair, slim waist, good size boobs and butts, symmetrical faces, etc to be attractive. When we see a woman like this we have no choice but to find her attractive.
Women are the same way. When she walks past a man who is in decent shape, has a symmetrical face, and walks with good posture, etc she also cant help but feel attraction. The feeling may not be very strong; in fact in may be so subtle that her conscious mind hardly registers it, but her mind processes what she sees and the feeling of attraction is created from it.
Men and women alike have no control over feeling attraction no more than we can control our need to breath oxygen.
Both men and women, however, can control if they ACT on that feeling of attraction just as we can choose to hold our breaths. Attraction is not a choice, acting on it is.
Lust is how to get a woman to act on her feelings of attraction. More on this later…
NOTE: Technically lust + compliance but thats for another article
Creating Attraction
Most guys focus on “creating attraction” and they do so with the help of certain tactics and techniques.
Remember, attraction is common. The cute girl walking through the mall feels some level of attraction towards a dozen men.
The question isn’t “how do I create attraction” but rather “how do I become one of those dozen men?”
The best way to become one of those dozen men is to work on something collectively called “The Fundamentals.”
Chase has already done a great job of breaking down fundamentals into a list:
- Your hairstyle
- Your physique
- Your facial hair
- Your fashion
- Your eye contact
- Your walk
- Your face shape
- How effortlessly you seem to move
- Facial expressions
- Your voice
- Body language
- Your posture
- Your mannerisms
To truly grasp why improving your fundamentals is important you must understand a difference between men and women….
Men primarily gauges attractiveness by judging a girls physical looks. For most of us you can take swimsuit model, put her in a potato sack, and most of us men would still find her physically attractive. We would all still rate her decently high on the 1 - 10 scale simply because she looks good
Luckily for us men, women are different! Women dont just arrive at their judgement based just on a mans raw physical looks but rather the TOTAL OVERALL picture.
Sarah is walking through the mall when she passes Mike. Mike is tall, has a chiseled jaw and six pack abs. Unfortunately for Mike he is also wearing old dirty clothes and it looks like his mother cut his hair. He is also walking hunched over like he is unsure of himself and the look on his face is negative.
Next Sarah passes Damon. Damon is an inch or two shorter than average but he is standing tall with his chin up and shoulders back. He isn’t as fit as Mike but hes not out of shape either. He has a little bit of visible muscle mass and he has a few intriguing tattoos visible. Damon is dressed in distressed slim fit black jeans, black boots, a plain slim fit black shirt, with a necklace and some bracelets on. Sarah is reminded of the men on the rock band posters that she had on her wall (and fantasized about) a few years ago when she was a teenager. His face is nothing spectacular but his cool hairstyle and well trimmed facial hair make his face look more masculine and attractive than it really is. As she walks by, Damon catches her eye and gives her strong eye contact to which she quickly breaks by looking down into submission.
Who inspires a more attraction in Sarah?
While Mike has the better physical looks, Damon has higher Total Overall Attractiveness (TOA).
NOTE: If you want to see a display of how much good fundamentals can improve your TOA, go find a movie on Netflix called “Hitman” and pay attention to the character played by Glen Powell. In the movie Glen plays as a nerdy college professor who pretends to be a bad boy hitman to make a woman fall in love with him. Same guy, same body, same hair, same face yet watch at how his change of clothes, hair style mannerisms, etc takes him from nerdy college professor to charming and sexy bad boy.
The Attraction Threshold
If you were to think of attraction on a 1 -10 scale, whats the minimum a women would have to be before you would sleep with her. Some of you may say “if shes less than a 7 I have no desire to sleep with her.” Others of you may put the answer at “5.” This answer is whats called your Minimum Attraction Threshold (MAT).
Remember, for men attraction is first and foremost characterized by her physical looks. But for women she will instinctually judge a man based on his TOA.
Women also have a threshold. In the above example, its possible that Mike falls below this threshold and that Damon meets or exceeds it.
What happens when a man who falls below her threshold approaches her and it becomes apparent that he is hitting on her?
Her “Cognitive Dissonance” kicks in.
If Mike approached her and said “Hey, you are unbelievably cute and I wanted to meet you” her mind would immediately start making a yes or no decision on attraction for him. Her mind would say “this isn’t the kind of guy you feel attraction for! The other guys who you have had feelings for didn’t dress like this and look unconfident!” Even if she found him “kinda cute maybe” her brain would remind her of how hes different (and not in a good way) from the rest of the men she normally feels attraction for. This dissonance will make her mentally and emotionally uncomfortable and the fastest way to her to resolve this discomfit is to reject him.
“Oh hey thanks but I’m busy I gotta go…” she says to Mike as she flashes a polite smile and walks away.
Every woman has a threshold but the threshold is not set in stone and can change somewhat day to day based upon many factors that include:
- Her current mood
- Her current environment (quiet coffee shop vs being around lots of cool men in a nightclub)
- Her relationship status (single vs happily taken)
- Her hormones (Is she horny?)
- …. And about a million other things.
The simple truth is this: With enough work and effort, almost any guy can increase his TOA to meet and/or exceed the minimum attraction threshold for most good looking women.
Therefore the question should never be: “How do I generate attraction?”
The real question should be: “How do I get to the point where the vast majority of attractive women find me attractive enough?”
You dont need to transform yourself into a model you simply need to improve to a point where women wont outright reject you do to your TOA.
The answer is to work on your fundamentals.
Seduction 101
Seduction can be defined as the following: Taking women from “Point A” (Feeling attraction) to “Point B” (Feeling lust). The gap between Point A and Point B is closed through “Game.”
Game is how quickly, effectively, and efficiently you are able to close the gap between Point A and Point B.
Game is not about creating attraction. Your fundamentals have either caused enough attraction to meet her threshold or not. Game is about leading her emotions to a point where she is now feeling Lust towards you.
Remember, “Lust” is when she feels a desire to sleep with you.
Earlier I mentioned that for women Attraction and Lust dont automatically arrive hand in hand like it does with us men. Sometimes, however, a feeling of lust will naturally happen within her very quickly upon her realization of her attraction for you.
Why?
She could just be horny and already in a lustful state.
You could remind her very strongly of a past lover she still feels lustful about.
There are many reasons and ultimately it doesn’t matter. If you approach and come to the realization that she already is feeling lust for you, the seduction part is mostly taken care of. Now you just need good logistics, and enough comfort to make her feel safe enough to leave with you. That is where “game” comes in.
If you have ever approached a woman in a bar or club and very quickly had her all over you only to have her not return you text the next day its often times because she was in a heightened emotional state of lust. The problem is that lust is ultimately an emotion and women’s emotions change constantly and rapidly.
She may have been all over you when she was horny in the club but when she awoke the next morning to your text her emotions were completely somewhere else.
There are times a woman might even go to bed with you even without feeling hardly any attraction for you! In some more extreme cases you dont need attraction for her to feel lust. Remember, for women these two emotions are separate! (Note: Its also important to point out that emotionally she can feel attraction towards you but logically not like you.)
If shes at home, bored and horny on a Tuesday, evening, and you text her that you will be in her neighborhood for a couple hours and will have some free time, and she finds no real risk to hooking up with you… she might feel some desire to fuck you. This lust of hers was not borne out of attraction but rather opportunity and hormones.
Nature of Game
Let’s dive a little deeper into what “game” really is…
Game is your ability to recognize how far along in the seduction process you are at, and moving it further along to Point B (Lust) quickly, effectively, and efficiently all the while navigating obstacles that would derail the entire process.
No where does it mention “creating attraction.”
As you bridge the gap between Point A and Point B, her attraction will usually increase as a byproduct.
“Can attraction be created or only amplified?”
This question has been the center of a debate for over 20 years in the seduction community.
Some men will say you can approach a woman who has zero initial attraction and use game too make her highly attracted.
Others will swear that if she has zero initial attraction that its pointless and that you can only use game to increase her levels of attraction.
Let’s take a deeper look into this.
What is attraction?
Though perhaps a bit overly simplistic, attraction is a feeling. It is an emotional state that exist within the mind.
Can you use words and actions to alter a persons emotional state and feelings towards you?
Of course you can. Give a genuine compliment to a person having a bad day and see how their mood and feelings suddenly change.
People who believe that attraction cant be created will often say things like “there are no magic lines that will create attraction!”
I agree. I don’t know if there is any one single “magic” line that can make a women with zero attraction suddenly feel attraction or you. But what if you have a period of time, say 20 minutes, where you can combine lots of words/lines, along with corresponding behaviors that are all designed to influence and alter a persons state of mind and feelings?
And what if you approached a woman indirectly, not using a direct opener that forces her mind into a “yes/no” decision on the spot, and said or did something that aroused within her curiosity? (“hey has anyone ever told you that you have an interesting energy about you?)
And what if you used that time her curiosity brought you to strategically say and do certain things that would influence and possibly alter her state of mind and emotions and steer them in the direction that is more advantageous to your desired outcome?
Could attraction be created?
Sometimes but certainly not every time.
Cult leaders instill much more absurd beliefs, feelings, and emotions in women all the time. Certainly women more stubborn than the average cute girl you will meet on the streets. With enough time, effort, skill, and the right girl I believe you can lead her to nearly any emotion. But at what cost?
Focusing on “creating attraction” is, in my opinion, mostly a waste of time.
Focus your efforts on improving your fundamentals and you will find that even the hottest women will likely have SOME level of attraction for you even if its an incredibly small level.
From there you focus on closing the gap between her attraction and having feelings of lust for you.
The process of closing the gap is called game.
And as far as learning game goes….
You are in the right place.
