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bumping this for fsc.
It is usually the sorority girls at my college that come from affluence, you can spot them by their interest in Starbucks. I too am curious on how to get rich girls since a lot of the hot girls in the USA come from well off areas.
It is usually the sorority girls at my college that come from affluence, you can spot them by their interest in Starbucks. I too am curious on how to get rich girls since a lot of the hot girls in the USA come from well off areas.
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As a guy with some experience with the Old Money types on the east coast, I have some news, it is all about being a part of their crowd. If I was you, I would try to go to events where these girls hang out at and socialize with them there. Another key thing to keep in mind, these girls will generally not seek out guys at all. A lot of these girls have men in their circles who are likely better than you in many ways so you are practically fighting an uphill battle. The fact that you have to ask how to get these girls tells me that you won't have much luck with them at the start because of the difficulty that comes with it.
The general focus should be, make yourself a part of their crowd. Go to the events these girls are likely to be at, socialize with them, and pull out the long game, these kinds of girls, contrary to popular belief, will not sleep around a lot.
The general focus should be, make yourself a part of their crowd. Go to the events these girls are likely to be at, socialize with them, and pull out the long game, these kinds of girls, contrary to popular belief, will not sleep around a lot.
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Hmm, I agree and disagree, and I was seeking nuances rather than "how"s.Proactivity said:
"How" is I'm just gonna wander around Beverly Hills and its cafes and dessert shops. I'm not obsessed with picking up rich girls or anything like that, so I'm not down to put in the time or energy to seek out and attend elite social gatherings and whatnot. That's too much investing and chasing on my part. Wealthy girls can be found anywhere in LA...I mean, my friend's girlfriend's family lives in what is practically a palace, and they met at one of my frat's parties. I'm simply trying new things out of curiosity and boredom, which is in this case, wealthy girls in their own turf.
The main nuance that I can think of is related to what you brought up. In addition to all the hurdles that I'll face with girls in general and attractive girls, I'm thinking I'll likely have to deal with walls that girls will put up to protect their financial status from gold-digging leeches of lesser wealth. So I'd prolly have to be real careful about balancing how nonchalant I am with everything while avoiding appearing too aloof, and making sure that the girl is chasing and investing more in me than I am in her.
I've been to Beverly Hills only once, and during the 1-2 hours that I walked around, a lot of women (percentage-wise) gave me really strong eye contact. I got more and stronger eye contact from attractive girls there than I'd get by walking around my college town for 3 hours. So this is the main reason why I ask for nuances before I go out bludgeoning around Beverly Hills--I'm curious if those eye contact were indicators of interest or if they were simply observing me because they could just sense that I was an outsider. I want to be as "well-equipped" as possible because that day I psyched myself out feeling like a peasant and couldn't get 1 approach. I couldn't even man up enough to return the eye contact and figure out in what way they were looking at me.
In addition to the fact that I'm an Asian in a city that's ~90% white, the outsider appeal is sorta what I am depending on--kinda like the tourist/vacationer appeal. Like you mentioned, a wealthy girl will likely end up with one of the better guys in her social circle, but I want to see if I can become a sidedick whore for one (or more) of them. I want to try to be the guy she can be her full slutty self with, without having to worry about being judged and ending up with a bad rep within her circle. I think it's a fun challenge. I guess another nuance I should keep in mind would be to communicate/practice discreetness and appear to fit in enough so that others who see us in public won't shame her for socializing with a peasant. My friend who I mentioned earlier looks and lives like a bum, btw. He's all 3 types of dirty. Tell me if I'm being too idealistic (or gone mad), but I'm pretty sure there are plenty of girls who want to break out of the mold and be like the other 99% for a day. And I shall move fast and treat her like any other slutty, silly girl aside from a few refinements. I shall feed her taco truck tacos and have a mini food fight with her instead of wining and dining her and taking her camelback riding up the Giza pyramids or whatever super rich white people do.
This ended up being a rather long response. So any experiences or minor details I should keep in mind?
EDIT:
It's prolly the latter. I still have some acne scars and redness under my cheekbones. Almost everyone there had flawless skin. Therefore, I think it's the latter, but fuck it. I shall assume attraction nonetheless.I said:
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The thing with these girls is that pre-selection reigns supreme. Kind of like sorority girls, they have all kinds of men in their social circles, high quality men at that, to pick from so they are not going out looking for men. One thing I have found is that rich girls do seem to be somewhat open to trying minorities and as much as race experts want to disagree, Asians and Indians are probably the best option in their eyes if you have your shit together. Unlike being with a black or mexican guy, these women won't be judged as harshly for being with an asian or indian guy. Some of these girls will go for blacks and latinos to piss their parents off and feel independent and empowered though.
Best advice I can give you is to make yourself a part of their world by other means. One of my friends took part in an acting class where he met this cute blonde whose parents worked on wall street, friend is Indian btw. Again, some things do matter a lot to these girls and that is looks. They want HOT guys of other ethnic groups, they won't go for an asian guy but they will gladly go for Godfrey Gao if you know what I am saying.
My advice:
1. Go for hobbies these girls like. A great idea is to work at the vacation spots these girls like to visit or take parts in classes and hobbies that might draw such girls. Again, a lot of these girls are bored and spoiled types that just love shopping but if you can get involved in some acting classes or dancing classes, you will meet them.
2. DHV in said hobbies or travels, show how well you can act or dance.
3. Talk to them but don't come off as thirsty/desperate (do not be a PUA).
4. Let the rest fall into place, if you are a natural you know what I mean.
Again, these women have a lot of options and are shallow but that is your best shot.
Best advice I can give you is to make yourself a part of their world by other means. One of my friends took part in an acting class where he met this cute blonde whose parents worked on wall street, friend is Indian btw. Again, some things do matter a lot to these girls and that is looks. They want HOT guys of other ethnic groups, they won't go for an asian guy but they will gladly go for Godfrey Gao if you know what I am saying.
My advice:
1. Go for hobbies these girls like. A great idea is to work at the vacation spots these girls like to visit or take parts in classes and hobbies that might draw such girls. Again, a lot of these girls are bored and spoiled types that just love shopping but if you can get involved in some acting classes or dancing classes, you will meet them.
2. DHV in said hobbies or travels, show how well you can act or dance.
3. Talk to them but don't come off as thirsty/desperate (do not be a PUA).
4. Let the rest fall into place, if you are a natural you know what I mean.
Again, these women have a lot of options and are shallow but that is your best shot.
A
Anonymous
Guest
I would avoid making blanket statements about people, especially since even if we are categorizing people by socio-economic status, even within that group there is so much variation and unique circumstances, that even pointing out general trends about these groups are just that: general trends.
I have little experience with dating wealthy, affluent women. However, money is not an indicator of status, per se. They are not mutually exclusive. Just because a woman is extremely wealthy does not mean she is high status. Nor does it mean she possesses the same mentality as another "rich" woman.
I treat any kind of difference as an opportunity to connect and understand. It is easy for me to connect with a woman who has a similar background, culture, language, taste in food, etc as me. It requires empathy and genuine curiosity in order for me to connect with a woman who comes from different circumstances than my own. Use exoticism to your advantage. Don't play it up too much, but adding a touch of your own difference, highlighting some superficial contrasts can be beneficial. You become different than the other guys she sees on the regular. Like a breath of fresh air.
But at the end of the day, your level of self-esteem and fundamental character is what has to separate you from the rest of the men, as always.
I would treat this form of "difference" like the way I treat dating women outside my "race". It's only a problem in her mind if you see it as a problem. If you have a strong frame and you exude a natural and attractive presence, she will not notice your "difference". If the first and only thing she notices about you is that you're "X" race, or you don't have money, etc., that's when you're finished.
There will always be some women who, despite being your best self, will not be interested. But that's just how it goes. Take her off that pedestal, treat her like any other human being and connect. "Deep dive", make an emotional connection. If you try to compete with other guys using your facial appearance, your height, your money, your status, fame, etc, you'll just lose to another guy who is better in those areas. But if you're more charismatic, charming, sexy, interesting than the other guy and can make her feel intense emotions, you can beat out the competition.
I have little experience with dating wealthy, affluent women. However, money is not an indicator of status, per se. They are not mutually exclusive. Just because a woman is extremely wealthy does not mean she is high status. Nor does it mean she possesses the same mentality as another "rich" woman.
I treat any kind of difference as an opportunity to connect and understand. It is easy for me to connect with a woman who has a similar background, culture, language, taste in food, etc as me. It requires empathy and genuine curiosity in order for me to connect with a woman who comes from different circumstances than my own. Use exoticism to your advantage. Don't play it up too much, but adding a touch of your own difference, highlighting some superficial contrasts can be beneficial. You become different than the other guys she sees on the regular. Like a breath of fresh air.
But at the end of the day, your level of self-esteem and fundamental character is what has to separate you from the rest of the men, as always.
I would treat this form of "difference" like the way I treat dating women outside my "race". It's only a problem in her mind if you see it as a problem. If you have a strong frame and you exude a natural and attractive presence, she will not notice your "difference". If the first and only thing she notices about you is that you're "X" race, or you don't have money, etc., that's when you're finished.
There will always be some women who, despite being your best self, will not be interested. But that's just how it goes. Take her off that pedestal, treat her like any other human being and connect. "Deep dive", make an emotional connection. If you try to compete with other guys using your facial appearance, your height, your money, your status, fame, etc, you'll just lose to another guy who is better in those areas. But if you're more charismatic, charming, sexy, interesting than the other guy and can make her feel intense emotions, you can beat out the competition.
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ya all women are the same
fat girls are just as easy as 9s and 10s
might as well not even learn game
all cultures are the same
blah blah blah
get the fuck out of here with that shit bro. I hate bullshit like that, it is misleading, differences exist. As a guy who grew up in a rural type area in the midwest to one who has been around a lot of people in the richer classes as an adult, there is a big fucking difference.
fat girls are just as easy as 9s and 10s
might as well not even learn game
all cultures are the same
blah blah blah
get the fuck out of here with that shit bro. I hate bullshit like that, it is misleading, differences exist. As a guy who grew up in a rural type area in the midwest to one who has been around a lot of people in the richer classes as an adult, there is a big fucking difference.
A
Anonymous
Guest
If that's what you got out of my post, then you completely missed the entire point.
I'm not dismissing differences. Of course there are differences. You have to tailor your approach, certainly. Every single individual woman is different, even if she belongs to the same socio-economic class, race, ethnic, cultural background, she is a unique individual. Of course there is a difference in how you approach one type of woman compared to another.
If you want to succeed with women who come from a different world from yours, you need to be unfazed by the difference. You're aware of the difference, but your goal is to bridge the gap, to be relatable and be empathetic and connect. You have to not give a damn about the fact that you're coming from a different race, religion, culture, class, society, whatever.
But you can use difference as an excuse for whining and complaining about how hard it is to get women, especially if they're "hot, white blonde bombshell" types. Or "rich white girls".
I never said that difference doesn't matter. Of course it matters. But you need to bridge the gap. If your frame is strong, and you're accepting of those differences, then whatever differences you have become secondary, tertiary characteristics. The interaction then becomes about two people connecting, a man and a woman.
Take a class in reading comprehension before you jump to conclusions, Proactivity. You clearly didn't understand what my post is about.
I'm not dismissing differences. Of course there are differences. You have to tailor your approach, certainly. Every single individual woman is different, even if she belongs to the same socio-economic class, race, ethnic, cultural background, she is a unique individual. Of course there is a difference in how you approach one type of woman compared to another.
If you want to succeed with women who come from a different world from yours, you need to be unfazed by the difference. You're aware of the difference, but your goal is to bridge the gap, to be relatable and be empathetic and connect. You have to not give a damn about the fact that you're coming from a different race, religion, culture, class, society, whatever.
But you can use difference as an excuse for whining and complaining about how hard it is to get women, especially if they're "hot, white blonde bombshell" types. Or "rich white girls".
I never said that difference doesn't matter. Of course it matters. But you need to bridge the gap. If your frame is strong, and you're accepting of those differences, then whatever differences you have become secondary, tertiary characteristics. The interaction then becomes about two people connecting, a man and a woman.
Take a class in reading comprehension before you jump to conclusions, Proactivity. You clearly didn't understand what my post is about.
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proactivity, I think he is talking about fucking on the 2nd or 3rd date... your advice is pointing towards boyfriend-girlfriend (LTR) since there would be too much investment on his part.
fsc, Approach her in the mall... or wherever... get her number... try to meet with her casually at a hotel restaurant/bar in her area so that it does not look like a big investment for her to come to your part of the city if you live a bit far from her (for me it is like 35 - 45 minutes for me to get to the high brow area of my city).
If she lives in the high brow area of town where you don't live, I am thinking more like meet her in a hotel bar/restaurant (only order drinks - it is usually very expensive in that part of the city. For me, it is two bottles of malt and a bottle of water... some girls don't drink malt but every girl drinks water).
When you feel like it's time, tell her you would be spending the night at the hotel (come up with a logical excuse like you have work to do for a client that lives nearby tomorrow morning that's why you are staying in a hotel) and invite her to watch a movie or something... (make sure that she agrees to come with you before you pay for the room. Do NOT pay for the room before she agrees!)
PS: I don't think you should pay too much special attention to her just because she is wealthy (you are not asking her for money, it is the pussy that you are interested in)... you would still have to play the numbers game (meet a lot of wealthy girls).
PSPS: I suggested hotel because I feel awkward trying to go a lady's house to sleep with her the first time... she can reject me for reasons that are not my fault.
fsc, Approach her in the mall... or wherever... get her number... try to meet with her casually at a hotel restaurant/bar in her area so that it does not look like a big investment for her to come to your part of the city if you live a bit far from her (for me it is like 35 - 45 minutes for me to get to the high brow area of my city).
If she lives in the high brow area of town where you don't live, I am thinking more like meet her in a hotel bar/restaurant (only order drinks - it is usually very expensive in that part of the city. For me, it is two bottles of malt and a bottle of water... some girls don't drink malt but every girl drinks water).
When you feel like it's time, tell her you would be spending the night at the hotel (come up with a logical excuse like you have work to do for a client that lives nearby tomorrow morning that's why you are staying in a hotel) and invite her to watch a movie or something... (make sure that she agrees to come with you before you pay for the room. Do NOT pay for the room before she agrees!)
PS: I don't think you should pay too much special attention to her just because she is wealthy (you are not asking her for money, it is the pussy that you are interested in)... you would still have to play the numbers game (meet a lot of wealthy girls).
PSPS: I suggested hotel because I feel awkward trying to go a lady's house to sleep with her the first time... she can reject me for reasons that are not my fault.
Proactivity said:
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fsc,
Not to comment on anything else mentioned here, but you should have extremely strong fundamentals when approaching women in these areas. If you're going to use Beverly Hills as an example, then I would be wearing a fully-tailored suit that brings out your masculine physique. Beverly Hills is a bit ridiculous in the sense that you'll see multiple Ferraris and Lambos when you're out and about, but you really just want to look like you're a guy who lives and/or has business there when you're walking around. Otherwise you're just a random guy in a rich city trying to hit on women (possibly for a chance at their money).
In general, approaching wealthy women in their actual environment doesn't bode as well as catching them just about anywhere else. Women are well aware of their financial status, and they'll be much more on guard about a guy pursuing her for financial gain (because yes, men take advantage of women financially too). So I tend to avoid areas that can be associated with status so that, when you do approach a girl, she feels it was purely out of your own incentive to meet an (attractive) girl like her. If you can even avoid the topic of money, then that works best.
Of course, that raises the question, "then if I'm not approaching them in their wealthy areas, how do I know they are wealthy?" The answer to that is: you don't. And in general, I'm not really sure why you would want to screen only for women who have money since that's not really a quality that's necessarily attractive anyway (as opposed to physical beauty, personality, and intelligence). However, during your approach, you are more than welcome to ask what she does for a living. If she knows you approached her purely because of your interest in her beauty (because it did not happen in Beverly Hills or wherever else), then she'll have no problem revealing if she holds a high-power position in some business. Then it means she's probably an intellectual as well, so you can move forward from there.
- Franco
Not to comment on anything else mentioned here, but you should have extremely strong fundamentals when approaching women in these areas. If you're going to use Beverly Hills as an example, then I would be wearing a fully-tailored suit that brings out your masculine physique. Beverly Hills is a bit ridiculous in the sense that you'll see multiple Ferraris and Lambos when you're out and about, but you really just want to look like you're a guy who lives and/or has business there when you're walking around. Otherwise you're just a random guy in a rich city trying to hit on women (possibly for a chance at their money).
In general, approaching wealthy women in their actual environment doesn't bode as well as catching them just about anywhere else. Women are well aware of their financial status, and they'll be much more on guard about a guy pursuing her for financial gain (because yes, men take advantage of women financially too). So I tend to avoid areas that can be associated with status so that, when you do approach a girl, she feels it was purely out of your own incentive to meet an (attractive) girl like her. If you can even avoid the topic of money, then that works best.
Of course, that raises the question, "then if I'm not approaching them in their wealthy areas, how do I know they are wealthy?" The answer to that is: you don't. And in general, I'm not really sure why you would want to screen only for women who have money since that's not really a quality that's necessarily attractive anyway (as opposed to physical beauty, personality, and intelligence). However, during your approach, you are more than welcome to ask what she does for a living. If she knows you approached her purely because of your interest in her beauty (because it did not happen in Beverly Hills or wherever else), then she'll have no problem revealing if she holds a high-power position in some business. Then it means she's probably an intellectual as well, so you can move forward from there.
- Franco
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franco, do you even suggest avoiding the question of what she does for a living, so that she does not even get the impression that you are trying to get money from her? Since it is only sex that I am after. It is just like assuming that yeah... I know you go to work every day no need for details.
Although I have never had any experience with wealthy girls, in my city, the wealthy ladies are usually very aware of the fact that guys want to use them for their money - and I mean extremely aware! I am not really interested in wealthy ladies, but I would soon start going to lounges and upscale bars in the high brow area of my city, so in case I run into ladies that looks wealthy.
Although I have never had any experience with wealthy girls, in my city, the wealthy ladies are usually very aware of the fact that guys want to use them for their money - and I mean extremely aware! I am not really interested in wealthy ladies, but I would soon start going to lounges and upscale bars in the high brow area of my city, so in case I run into ladies that looks wealthy.
Franco said:
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Tayo,
It's up to you, really. My point above was more about not approaching women in these wealthy areas as they'll be more highly guarded as to what you're after. If you happen to approach an attractive girl in the ghetto and find out that she comes from a wealthy family, she'll still feel a lot less threatened because it was obvious that this is something you wouldn't have known unless she told you. (NOTE: Of course, if she's wearing all kinds of expensive clothing/jewelry, she still might be guarded because she might feel like you approached her because of this)
I don't mind asking a girl what she does for a living. It's a great segue for conversation especially if you feel like you can't get anything else started, and asking what she does for a living can easily lead into deep-diving questions (is this what you always wanted to do? Howcome you didn't pursue X instead of Y wasn't your passion? etc)
It's all up to you and what you want. =)
- Franco
It's up to you, really. My point above was more about not approaching women in these wealthy areas as they'll be more highly guarded as to what you're after. If you happen to approach an attractive girl in the ghetto and find out that she comes from a wealthy family, she'll still feel a lot less threatened because it was obvious that this is something you wouldn't have known unless she told you. (NOTE: Of course, if she's wearing all kinds of expensive clothing/jewelry, she still might be guarded because she might feel like you approached her because of this)
I don't mind asking a girl what she does for a living. It's a great segue for conversation especially if you feel like you can't get anything else started, and asking what she does for a living can easily lead into deep-diving questions (is this what you always wanted to do? Howcome you didn't pursue X instead of Y wasn't your passion? etc)
It's all up to you and what you want. =)
- Franco
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Hmm...I wanted to try day gaming on the streets of rich cities "just because"--not because I'm after wealthy girls. I thought it might be fun to try it out and experience different kinds of walls, but I think I'll just write it off until a time when my social momentum happens to be through the roof, I'm feeling adventurous, and my skill levels are near the seniors' here.
As somebody who grew up in a wealthy area and who now lives in NYC I have met a lot of girls from rich families. These girls are used to being around very ambitious men whether its their fathers, brothers, class mates, etc. It helps a lot if you can talk about your ambition and what you are doing to pursue it. It doesn't have to be banking or law it can be anything really even things in the arts but the key is to demonstrate that you have a dream and are actively and confidently pursuing it. In fact, these girls will often like to be part of your world and will want to help you achieve your dream. If you start dating one don't be afraid to run ideas by her or ask her to help you out at an event you are sponsoring and make it clear how her efforts will help you achieve your goal.
Note that these girls are not often very ambitious themselves but they often like being around ambitious men. The ones that do have ambition are usually entrepreurial and want to start fashion brands, restraunts and the like.
Of course, fundamentals are also very important but my original point should give you some more fire power.
Note that these girls are not often very ambitious themselves but they often like being around ambitious men. The ones that do have ambition are usually entrepreurial and want to start fashion brands, restraunts and the like.
Of course, fundamentals are also very important but my original point should give you some more fire power.
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fsc-
Here's a related angle to the one Robert's discussing.
You can also get wealthy women as the "ambitious scoundrel" type - you talk about wanting to start your own country or other outlandishly large-scale ambitions like this, but only half in jest. The kind of thing normal people would never even dream about talking / joking about.
In this case, you're perfectly honest about not having a lot of money right now, but you also don't care. If you reek of confidence and big ambition, but you're also a bit of a rapscallion, than can get you very quickly into a well-to-do woman's potential lover category in a way that normal scoundrel-types can't get access to because they aren't ambitious enough (they get viewed as low class bums).
Women of good breeding and background are typically looking for one of two male archetypes: the highly successful (or highly ambitious, if he's young) man who is very much a part of the system, and the highly ambitious man who is going to overthrow the system or create his own system (the visionary or the conqueror - two sub-archetypes).
If you aren't a monied individual yourself, your better bet is to be the guy who's going to change the world, either by building something grand, or by burning it all down and reshaping it in his own image. Convince her you are in one of these categories and you will have her interest. From that point forward, it's all following your standard process - the "going for sex on the first date" bit can actually work a little more effectively than usual with monied women because most men walk on eggshells around them and it's refreshing and different when you try it with them (it's also quite congruent with both conqueror and visionary archetypes, each of whom are all of aggressive, confident, and impatient).
Also, don't be afraid of letting them pay for things. If you're providing the fun and excitement and orgasms, they will tend to want to take care of you the way they are used to their prior (wealthy) boyfriends taking care of them. It's kind of just a 'doing things the way they've learned things are done' arrangement.
Chase
Here's a related angle to the one Robert's discussing.
You can also get wealthy women as the "ambitious scoundrel" type - you talk about wanting to start your own country or other outlandishly large-scale ambitions like this, but only half in jest. The kind of thing normal people would never even dream about talking / joking about.
In this case, you're perfectly honest about not having a lot of money right now, but you also don't care. If you reek of confidence and big ambition, but you're also a bit of a rapscallion, than can get you very quickly into a well-to-do woman's potential lover category in a way that normal scoundrel-types can't get access to because they aren't ambitious enough (they get viewed as low class bums).
Women of good breeding and background are typically looking for one of two male archetypes: the highly successful (or highly ambitious, if he's young) man who is very much a part of the system, and the highly ambitious man who is going to overthrow the system or create his own system (the visionary or the conqueror - two sub-archetypes).
If you aren't a monied individual yourself, your better bet is to be the guy who's going to change the world, either by building something grand, or by burning it all down and reshaping it in his own image. Convince her you are in one of these categories and you will have her interest. From that point forward, it's all following your standard process - the "going for sex on the first date" bit can actually work a little more effectively than usual with monied women because most men walk on eggshells around them and it's refreshing and different when you try it with them (it's also quite congruent with both conqueror and visionary archetypes, each of whom are all of aggressive, confident, and impatient).
Also, don't be afraid of letting them pay for things. If you're providing the fun and excitement and orgasms, they will tend to want to take care of you the way they are used to their prior (wealthy) boyfriends taking care of them. It's kind of just a 'doing things the way they've learned things are done' arrangement.
Chase