TheRuralJuror's "Newbie Assignment" Plus 6 month Journey (

[TheRuralJuror]

Alright guys, the time is here where I risk it all...

As I posted yesterday, I think its time to make a change in my dating life as well as my personal life! Starting today ( July 1st ), for 6 months I want to begin this journey of self improvement! Reading about you guys approaching and laying these women and living this lifestyle made me realize " Hey, why cant I do that?"
Now this is my first time actually posting in the journals section, let alone a journal! So this may be poorly written. Bear with me!

Alittle bit about me:
I am 22 years old. Single ( don't really have choice because of my non- existent game with women. Although I prefer to be single!) Been reading GC for a while and the material and articles ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE, to the point where it angers me on "WHAT THE HELL AM I WAITING FOR?". Live at home (so logistics is gonna be terrible). Work 2 jobs. One as a cashier (for the time being. But it gives me some access to women! is there any cashier game?" Have an interest in making my own music. I have my own car (idk if that was necessary to write). I don't have really have a sense of direction in life, but I feel I have lots of potential if I can just get a 'push in the right direction". I am doing this alone, so no mentors or anything. I live in NYC. So pretty much I'm all over the place! And that's pretty much it!

Now for the next 6 months I'm looking to achieve the Following short term and long term goals:

Short Term:
1. Complete the Newbie Assignment
2. Find a new job
3. Start looking for something I'm passionate about that has nothing to do with women
4. Get Better at Producing music
5. Workout every weekday/ Build my body (Although I pretty much do this anyway)
6. Gain the skill of approaching any women (guess that goes with newbie assignment?)
7. Learn a Self Defense
8. Go on 12 dates. 6 through online dating (tinder okcupid). 6 through cold approach
9. learn something new. (eg. cooking class, dancing class. etc)
10. Complete these damn goals! haha

Now Seppuku pointed out yesterday that I have too many short term goals to be able to focus on them at once. So what I think I'm going to do is pick two, and they would be my focus for that particular month. (For example: this month would be 1. complete newbie assignment 2. learn a self defense.) Does that make sense? or is that still not right

Long Term Goals:
1. Get better with women, to the point where I can approach anyone and have choices and options in women.
2. Hopefully have found my passion and a working in it
3. Become more self-sufficient. Do things on my own.
4. Able to defend myself if need be.
5. Become free and happy with my life!
6. Overall just become a sexy man and being comfortable in my own skin!

I feel like this Is something that I just need to do, But man oh man am I scared! haha
So I hope you guys can give me some pointers and advice on this journey I am about to embark on! And ill talk to you soon!

Pray for me, haha, TheRuralJuror!

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys!

I know it's been awhile since I've last posted, but trust me I didn't forget about this! I've been so busy the last couple of days that I couldn't really post. But I'm glad to say that I can check off one thing on my short term goals list already. I have officially found a new job! I am still a cashier, but I am quitting in august! So I still have some time to approach/ talk to women.

As for the newbie assignment, I am still reading the articles but I believe I have an outdated version? Because it starts with me reading articles instead of doing "fieldwork". So I am still on part one of that.
My question is, do I just skip part one and go straight to the "fieldwork"? Because some of you guys newbie assignment you start out straight from day one of the " fieldwork". Just wondering!

And that's all I've got to update!

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[Inbocca]

RJ,

The Newbie Assignment is here, it's different from the skill diagnostic challenge.

Cheers

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys, it's been a while, but here I am!

Day 1: Observation


For this day we have to choose 4 locations where we can meet women. Now this is gonna be alittle difficult now because I work 2 jobs for the time being, and I don't really have the time to "scout" the places yet. But the good news is I've been to these places before so I've seen some of the traffic. I may have to revisit this day sometime later, but I just want to get this assignment off the ground! So the places I choose are Supermarket (my job), shopping mall, online dating (can I use this?) and hopefully a class (cooking, dancing, etc) if I can find one.

Supermarket (my job): obviously I am working here so I've seen women come and go! This would be a good spot to game! Maybe not at my job per se, but in general.

Shopping mall: pretty simple. But I'm not gonna lie this would be the toughest! Especially with my approach anxiety!

Online dating : I use OkCupid and tinder. I've matched with some cool people, but I've lost them from failure to ask them out! stupid me! And with OkCupid, I definatley should be better! I'm not getting enough responses when I open. What are some good openers? I've tried chases "I'm curious...." and I've had some success but not that much. It could also be my profile! But this is good because it ties into my goal of getting 6 dates off of online dating!

Classes: This one I got from chases article. Now I've never actually taken a class before so i don't even know where to begin with this! Haha, any suggestions?

Now I am probably gonna do day 2 as well later, because it has to do with walking and I'm pretty confident in my walking posture as it is! But I guess there's always room to improve!

To Imbocca,

Thanks for the link to the newbie assignment!


Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys been awhile I know...

Trust me I've been working on getting dates, mostly on online dating but no one is really responding back. BUT matched with a girl a few days ago. Long story short, got her number she agreed to go out, BUT here's the thing... I'm trying to set up this date and our schedules do not match up at all! When I'm off she's working and vice versa.

My question is what should I do in this situation? I don't want to come across as chasing but I would like to take her out for the experience. She said the only day she is off is Thursday, but I work all day. So the only day I would be able to take her out (BIG IF) is next Thursday. Which can be a problem because anything can happen with that big of a gap. Trust me I've been through it.

So what should be my next move here???

P.s, I'm still trying to meet girls online/in person so I'm not throwing all my eggs in one basket if that's what you're thinking!

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

TheRuralJuror here,

Boy oh boy am I struggling! I can't get a date to save my life! BUT best believe I am still trying! It's like I get so damn close and something ruins it! Whether it's logistics or maybe I ask them out too early and they flake. I still get needy. Make mistakes that I know I should not make. Shit is crazy. But I am trying guys. Albeit it's mostly online dating. I'm still alittle chicken to cold approach.

Anyway something weird happened....

I was talking to one of my co workers, and he was telling me about a girl in his school who he's interested in. Me being the HYPOCRITE I basically told him to cold approach her (LMAO) and just start a convo. You should have heard me, you would've thought I was a pro and write articles on this site. And he looked at me like "wow you're so right" etc.... Obviously you guys and chase and the authors gets the credit. But still.

Anyway he comes to me and tells me he approched her and they had a convo, albeit short. And they talked 2 more times after that. He's younger than me if that matters.

What the hell is wrong with me.....
Like I've cold approached before (at my job) and although it didn't lead to anything, i still did it. Although I think one of my co workers like me, but I'm not attracted to her.

But I can't cold approach on the street like you guys. How is that possible.... i logically know with girls on the street they know nothing about me, so if they reject me we just move on, don't have to see each other. But for some reason I freeze up!

Anyway I just wanted to give you guys an "update" and to tell you I am trying! Failing everyday but trying to pick myself up and realize this is part of the process!

Obviously thoughts and advice are much appreciated!

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[Ambiance]

Hey man,

When you're going through hell, keep going. Learning to cold approach is fraught with many massive hurdles. You seem very determined in your post to keep trying. This is awesome, keep up the good spirit! You will figure it out eventually. Just keep trying.

Here's something that has helped me in the past. Simply start saying "hi" to every woman you walk past. That's it. NBD. Who cares how each girl reacts. Get comfortable doing that, and before long your get instinct will start kicking in as you realize what it out there for the taking.

Keep us updated! Cold approach is unrivaled, keep trying!

Ambiance

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey ambiance!

Yeah man, I'm going through it. Almost had a girl off of online dating, but guess what? She stopped responding! Haha. But yeah I'm still trying. I believe I'll figure it out one day, I Feel like I just need that first "victory". And by "victory" I mean my first date! I'm pretty sure when I actually get that date, it'll be a disaster lmao, but hey then I'll realize I can get a girl out! And then I'll raise the bar again! But for now it just seems so close, yet so so far away. If that makes sense.

As for cold approach I feel like that's one of, if not, the BIGGEST obstacle in my seduction life. I know chase and the guys talk about how fundamentals are important (which they are) but I also believe cold appoarches are fundamental to game also. Because with it, you can literally approach at any given moment! No matter how bad things are, once you get over approach anxiety and start cold approaching I feel like you'll never be stuck! (Oneitis, abundance etc...) thoughts...?

Also I wanted to ask for anyone reading..... I see hector had a podcast on the girlschase account out on SoundCloud and I listened to it and found out we can have a free 10 min call or something like that....
I was just wondering if that offer is still available? Or did I miss it? Hopefully I didn't!

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[lostnumber]

I've been meaning to respond to this for a while. RuralJuror, when I have a chance this week I will type up some thoughts and share my story with you as I can relate very much to what you are going through right now

Stay tuned

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey lostnumber!

My response is alittle late, but I look forward to hearing your thoughts and story!

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys,

Alright I need you to talk me out of POTENTIALLY asking out one of my co-workers. Unless you think I should...

We've known each other for a few months, but didn't really talk. Yesterday was the first day we had a real convo. It started before we clocked out, I was teasing her and saying how dark it was outside and I need someone to walk me to my car. She says I'll walk with you. Obviously I didn't need anyone to walk with me, but it was interesting that she volunteered.

Anyway we clock out and we start walking.... im still teasing her making her laugh etc... then I ask her what car is hers. (I knew what car was hers, but I wanted to keep the convo going. And it worked! Haha) and she tells me. So I go up to her car and asked what year it was and took it from there. Long story short, I DEEP dived her, asked about what she studies, why that, how she chose it, she told me what her family does and how they're successful... shit like that.

Then she tells me something along the lines of (can't remeber exactly what she said):

Her: I'm glad im talking to you about this, I feel motivated now to complete this! (her degrees and setting up her career etc)

I basically tell her that, it's awesome she knows what she wants in life at a young age and how some people are lost... and are doing things because their parents said so blah blah blah

She tells me how she's going to Starbucks that night to work on a research paper (is she asking me out?) so i basically ended there and she said I'll see you Thursday.

Now a couple of questions.....

1. Should I have asked for the number? Throughout the convo I wanted to ask her out but I was scared for 2 reasons... one being that we work together and I've been through asking a girl out a work before (didn't work out) and two, I'm still alittle bitch at times haha

2. What should be my plan for Thursday? Should I just be cool with her and not try anything or try to pick up the convo and then ask her out?

I felt like she was into me that night. I was making eye contact her her and it looked like I was hanging on her every word and she was eating it up. ( at least I think she was) haha

She's a very attractive girl, has goals in life, etc And I would like to go out with her to get to know her better BUT the catch is..... we work together so you know how that goes.....

Anyway, what should I do here??

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys!

Quick update for the people who were following.....

I got my co-workers number (previous post)... just in case I decide to do something. Figured if I don't do anything I can just have her as a friend/texting buddy or forget about her. OR if I do something, at least I got the digits!

I just wanted to get it out of the way!

Any thoughts???

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Alright guys!

As we speak I have a tinder "date" potentially lined up with a girl i matched yesterday. From her pics it looks like she has an alright body, but im not that attracted to her at all. Now this would be my first "date", but I'm not 100% on this. Should I just "take my lumps" now and just go out with her? She is supposedly coming to my town to get coffee or hangout so it's not like I have to go far. Now before you guys say it, the logistics are terrible on my part. Can't bring her home if I wanted to.

What should I do here? How should I proceed on a date I don't really want to go on? Even though it would be my first lol.
OR should I try to push and see if I can get another date lined up before I commit? WHAT DO I DO!?! Lol

P.s I haven't confirmed to her yet that I'm going, still trying to think about it/ get you guys feedback.

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys!

Update: Still struggling, But I feel like I'm getting better. Starting to see some "results" when it comes to online dating.. I have a date lined up next week (Tuesday) although the chances of it happening I would think are slim. Because there's so much time before it. But if it happens it happens. I'm still trying to meet new girls lol

And also I feel like my attitude towards women is changing. I'm starting to see them differently alittle bit. Not in a bad way, more of an understanding type of way. I can't really explain it! Lol

But anyway.. there's the update.. albeit small haha

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

P.s I signed up for that free 10 minute call with hector, and I did not get a call... is he still doing it? Or maybe I didn't do it right?

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey Guys,

I'm really starting to hate my job, lol. We have a new girl there, and she is attractive! Probably fits my criteria to a tee, when it comes to looks. BUT we work together and as we all know, it's probably not a good idea! And besides I'm 0-2 when it comes to trying to get girls at work. But damn, she's cute! Haha.

I'm trying to not game her, but it's difficult at times, I have to catch myself so I basically just chit chat and be friendly with her.!

But if she didn't work with me, I would DEFINITELY approach this girl, and see what happens!

Any thoughts?

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys,

As I write this I am on my way to my first ever date. And I am freezing my ass of! Haha

Will try to update later.

Let the games begin!

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys,

Well first date in the books! How did it go you ask? It was a disaster! Haha

I'm not gonna go into tooo much detail so I'll just give you the "highlights".

For starters I had to travel to her. In normal circumstances it's not bad. But considering its winter, it was cold as shit outside!

I get there and she has a attitude somewhat. We have alittle moment, and in my head I'm like "are you serious?" I travel all this way and you have an attitude?. To be fair she did just get out of work (bad idea) but I had to get this girl out somehow for the reference points. But the beginning of the date was DEFINATLEY A DISASTER!!!

We had no where to go because I've never been there before, so I didn't know what was around. So I'm assuming she had an attitude because I didn't plan anything. TERRIBLE on my part. We walk around her job area because she had to return some things, and then we found a coffee spot where we sat down for the rest of the date and talked.

Now here, I couldn't hold eye contact to save my life! Couldn't make it sexual, I sat across from her, my mouth was dry, could barely hear her, it was BAD!

But I did make her laugh, and we had some good conversation topics. We say we'll hangout in 2 weeks, because of work (I doubt that'll happen) but hey, maybe something there for me.

After the cafe, we walked to the train station and I was trying to be more physical, acting like I was cold and I needed to be warm (partially was telling the truth, it was fucking freezing) and she wasn't that comfortable with it. Lmao. We get to the train station, say we will get together in a couple of weeks (-_-) and I I hug her goodbye and go my separate ways.

I barely make it to my city, and I get my car. She texts me saying did you make it home? I tell her I just got my car. And I ask her and she's home already. Cool.

I tell her it was nice meeting her and I had a good time. She says likewise with some sort of hearts emoji. I then tell her I'm sorry/felt bad that we had to meet after she got out of work and I know she was tired. She apologizes and says sorry but she was a bit tired. I tell her "well I don't wanna take up more of her time, and for her to take care of herself! She responds saying "thank you, you too" and I didn't respond.

My god was that bad. I mean I am not looking for a relationship, but I felt so pissed with myself after that date for some reason. Idk why. This date just confirms I definatley can't get in a relationship and I have ALOTTTTTTTTTT to work on.

Good news to come out of this though: earlier that dAy, she did send me booty pics! Haha. At this point I'm just trying to fuck. But I'm sure that's out the window with this girl. I'm sure we're not gonna see each other and she was just being polite.

But hey, I did just have my first date!

So what do you guys think? If I could I would make her a fwb, but how do I salvage that? Do you guys think this is over between me and her? And what else should I do to better myself for the future when it comes to dating in general?

There were some more things that happened during, but I didn't feel like typing. I'm tired. If you wanna know something just ask. Lol

But I just wanna thank the GC community for at least helping me get this far!!!! My first date! Albeit bad considering the circumstances, but hey I'll take it!

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys,

SO ITS COME TO THIS! I think I'm scared of SEX!

Now it's not what you think. I've gotten to a point where I don't care about if I last long or not. Obviously i worry about std but you can get treatment for that. Now with that being said OBVIOUSLY I worry about hiv. I'm definitely scared about that. But that's not with this post is about!

I think What's holding me back mostly from sex (besides hiv/std) is getting the girl pregnant! That would be ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING in my life right now (among other things) but yeah. Now i wanna have sex, badly but at what cost! It's not even about lasting long anymore. I want to, but that's not even my concern right now!

Only reason I feel this way is because, I'm meeting women, but if it came down to do the business, I might run out like a little bitch because of the nervous! "What if she gets pregnant" etc... I haven't had sex in a long while, and when I did I didn't use a condom! (I was young, no excuses tho!) but now I'm definitely going to need to use them! And how do I know if I'm using them correctly! Haha. If I'm not using them right then I'm taking risks! Then pre-cum factors into it and I'm all fucked up right now! Haha
Cause I hear sperm stays on your dick after you cum (masterbating in my case) and maybe that can get her pregnant? I don't even know that's true! Haha

Then there's the whole thing about condom size and tight fit, loose fit, etc. I bought some just to see what fits and I think I found one that works! So I guess that's good news! Just have to learn how to use it correctly!

What I'm asking is HOW DO I OVERCOME THIS? cause right now for me sex is one of the ultimate goal, but if I can't get past this, then what's the point? Like I can approach and things go well and boom she wants to have sex and I can't perform! Not because I'm afraid I won't last or give her a good experience (obviously I want to last and have good experience) but that's not the top of my priorities right now! I can work on those things, but having a baby and I'm doomed!

But yeah, GUYS I NEED YOUR HELP! How do I get out of my head on this topic!? It's holding me back!

P.S Happy New Year haha

Thanks,TheRuralJuror

 

[Lover]

As a response to your last post, let me give you someone to compare to: me!

I don't think of sex as a big deal. Honestly, I've done it so many times that I consider all your worrying troublesome!

Wanna know what I have done not so much? Meeting new girls! The few I've managed to make stick around for a long time, have really given me some great experience with sex. But just like how you worry about the possible outcomes of sex, I worry too much about rejections and the likelihood of meeting girls not into me. At what cost? Not meeting girls that might be into me :/ And you would think somebody with lots of experience with sex would be over his fear of meeting new girls by now. I guess I'm not there yet.

It's all in the numbers though. We need to put ourselves out there and simply try. That's all we can ask of ourselves. We WILL fuck up, but it's our fuck ups that will give us better experiences in the end.

As for your specific questions:

- Yes, you run the risk of catching an sti or making a girl pregnant by fucking her.

- As for condoms: the first couple of months will be the hardest. You will have to find the right one for you, wear it correctly, get used to use it and get used to the reduced sensation. Later down the road, you could make it a goal to make sex with condoms great! That has helped me tremendously, and I gladly use condoms.

Hope that clears some of your doubts.

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey Ajay!

So what you're saying is just put the condom on and have sex and stop bitching? Haha

If that's what you're saying then I agree! That's what I want to do! But I just can't get out of my head when it comes to getting her pregnant!

But trust me, I'm definitely gonna try to work on this! There's so much ass out there to just give up!