NeoPrince-
NeoPrince said:
Most people respect you and I've even had somebody yell "Shut up!" to someone who was trying to interrupt me. When you're not loud people don't act like they have to compete to get a word in and listen to you. Girls also are less dismissive, probably because being loud is a transparent way of showing off. Girls are so much more likely to converse with you if you speak in this slow and gentle manner.
Yes, absolutely. What happens is that you trigger a kind of, "Oh, this guy's the real deal," emotion in most people, and the only ones trying to talk over you are the oblivious ones, who only end up looking bad and socially awkward if they succeed. Sort of like the really cool, hot, popular girl talking slowly and calmly, and some social climber jumping in to say, "OMG, I totally had something like that happen to me when XYZ blah blah...!" The other girls just roll their eyes and wait for her to finish, or they actively shut her down, as in your example.
Very easy to pick up with, "Anyway..." and go right back into where you were interrupted if you know the rest of the group is one your side. The interruptor's contribution is ignored and he leaves knowing not to interrupt you again, or else watch his social status take a further hit.
Tyme2k said:
The problem is in night clubs, bars where music is playing and everyone is socializing. You will want to project.
I personally prefer to be just loud enough that a girl can hear me if she's leaning in in clubs. I went through a phase of trying to be really super loud and projecting a lot, but it just didn't generate as solid results as when I was talking focused but not loud. My guess is investment plays a role - if she's having to lean in and strain a little bit to hear you, she's working and committing to the interaction a lot more than if you were the one doing the work to be heard. Not so much straining that it's a chore... but enough that she needs to be *focused* on what you're saying, and paying close attention. I think the style of your voice at different volumes plays another role - very hard to sound sexy when you're speaking too loudly. Sort of like how if you want to use NLP and put someone into a trance, you can't shout your way there - your voice must be soft, deep - still audible, but calming and soothing. A sexual voice, almost, rather than a bullhorn.
That is, of course, assuming you're not in a SUPER loud place where the only thing audible are your loudest yells. Although, in that case, I usually recommend speaking as little as possible
Also, on the "huh"s - this might be interesting: I take these as a clear sign of disinterest and move on quickly. You can stick around and duke it out with a "huh" girl, but 99 times out of 100 it's wasted effort. Girls who like you a lot will either be too intimidated to say "huh," or too respectful. If a girl's saying "huh" you can usually write her off. I've had lots of girls say "huh" once to me, and turned up the volume naturally after - long enough that it doesn't seem reactive, but soon enough to avoid a further "huh" - I don't think I've ever had a girl who said "huh" turn into anything meaningful. You can hope to stick it out and have her "decide" or "choose" you at the end of the night, but it's rare, and it won't go your way if there's another guy pursuing her she perceives as dominant to her.
"Huh"ing someone seems to be a sign of perceiving yourself as dominant - it's like saying, "Speak up, I can't hear you." A command, rather than a request, and in this case I'd say it's a correlation rather than a causation (i.e., her saying "huh" doesn't cause her to perceive you as lower status; she only says "huh" in the first place if she already sees you as lower status) - useful as a screening tool for screening out girls you came in the wrong way with, or who need to see you interacting with another girl or more people before they're truly open to you.
Chase