Number closed it! Yeehaa!
Much less pressure today, I don't need to stick to a certain convo.
But on the other hand I was kinda down with the yesterday last approach in which the woman walked away while I was talking. Thought about it, well I didn't cause any harm, and was not harmed. Also I had approached 6-7 women, apart from the last one all were fine. They didn't get to anywhere but they were fine.
I also thought why the convos didn't go for long? I realized the only one that took a bit was with a girl who were standing by her own scrolling, all the others that I approached were walking, so not in a relaxed situation.
I was reading an LR by James D today, one asked him what signs he looks for before approaching, he said "she shall be in a relaxed situation". Wow! well said.
I have also witnessed my convo stalls when I want to say something but refrain from it. I am kinda a reserved man. Now I am thinking: "What comes into mind is the thing you have got to continue the convo, if you don't go for it, the convo stalls. You refrain from it because you think it is bad or not good enough. It is there, let it into existence, acknowledge it, then you see how it works, then you can twick it. If you don't acknowledge it, you as a person will stock there, in the next similar situation you will still be just the same."
So I will do todays task with two new tools: 1- Spot girls who are relaxing, chilled, etc. 2- Go for it.
I was a bit down when woke up this morning, started roaming around in forum, read "sex talk" article by "Alek" which hyped me. Some great eye opening sentences: "Beliefes affect behaviour".
I have promised myself to do this Newbie assignment for 14 days, so I will go to do Day 6 today, but I was not feeling it, after reading "sex talk" article I though: "Wow, sex drive is there, by doing the task you are appreciating sex drive and helping girls appreciate it."
I had the following convo with myself:
- Why are you doing this challenge?
-I want to create something good for myself and the girl
- Why do you do it with girls?
- Because I have got sex appeal towards girls, I am appreciating sex, and also helping the girl appreciate it. Creating something good for me and her, if this is that we both enjoy, why not? I like it, I have got excitement for it.
I have liked sex for a long time, but being exposed to this website and specifically James D LRs has changed something, James D has got this smooth approach, he starts the convo with her, leads the convo smoothly, creates some excitement, some bonding and have sex which is trilling for both of them. There is a story there, James makes her feel understood, creates excitement. This is kind of approach that I like, the approach itself is attractive for me. And of course the gift or maybe a significant milestone is having sex. Let's uphold this great nature power and enjoy it. Let's do our part to help girls uphold sex and enjoy it.
Ok, now about today's task.
I enter the shopping mall keeping in mind that convo is a two player dance, pay attention to the girls' situation, if she is chill there is much more chance to get somewhere.
I spot a blondy at a cafe sitting by herself scrolling, looks bored. I decide to order a coffee. I sit next to her while waiting for the coffee.
Me: Is the coffee here good?
She: Yes, it is pretty good
Me: It seems this is your go to cafe when you want to have coffee in this mall.
She: Yeas, that's right.
Me: What did you order?
She: Macchiato, what did you order?
Me: Chai latte, I am no1t that much of a coffee guy.
She: (her energy drops) Their Macchiato is pretty good (now I see why her energy dropped, she wanted to share her knowledge about coffee, and I just told her I am not intersted in coffee)
Me: Which one?
She: Macchiato, they make it pretty good here.
Me: How much coffee do you drink everyday?
She: Yes, everyday.
Me: I mean how many cups?
She: 2 (Her order is ready)
She to me: Have a good day.
Me: Thanks, you too.
She takes her coffee and leaves.
Lessons: 1- Don't rub differences on her face, look for similarities, that will increase her energy level.
You know how this convo could go forward? Let's imagine the following:
Once she says macchiato is good here I ask the saleswoman: Could you please change my order?
This would be breaking the rule, give her arousal.
Me to the girl: Now you have to wait till I get my coffee.
She: Why?
Me: Because I want to score your coffee taste. (Which creates the frame that I evaluate her.)
Anyway, I get my Chai Latte and taste it, it is really good.
I start walking, can't spot relaxed girls, get out of the mall take a short walk and get back in.
I tell myself task is done, you can go home now, but I want to continue, it seems I am enjoying it.
I walk around, enter the food court, spot a girl, not my type, on her laptop. The chair next to her is empty, I sit on it.
Me: You working from mall (smile)?
She 1: No, I am studying, the library is closed.
Me: Hmm, is a bummer, when every where else is open you would expect the library shall be open.
She 1: I know.
Me: Is it comfortable to study here?
She 1: It is a bit noisy but that is fine.
Me: What do you study?
She 1: Psychology.
.
.
.
I spot a girl sitting next to her, on her laptop too, she wants to be involved.
Me: And she must be your friend.
She 1: Yes she is.
Me to she 2: Do you also study Psychology?
She 2: No, I am studying ...., (gives some more info about what her major which I interpret as a sign of interest to continue the convo)
Me (she 2 is actually attractive): What is your name?
She 2: My name is Alice.
Me: My name is Tom. What is your plan for today?
She 1: We will study.
Me: For the whole day?
She 1: Yes, this one is due so...
Me: I hope you get over it.
It was kind of a bummer for me that they want to study the whole day, I liked to transit to a fun activity after that question but saw the whole day study as a block.
I check my cellphone, the good thing about approaching girls sitting is that if there you stop talking, you don't loose them, they are still there, just come up with something to continue.
I am playing Volleyball in the afternoon, one of the players just texted me to cancel, so now we are one player down.
Me: Are you guys into Volleyball?
She 1: No
She 2: I used to play in school but not much lately.
Me (I know it will have lots of constrains in it, but I have told me to go for it): Well, we are playing in the arvo at "AA" we are 11 players, so 1 player down, let me grab your phone number.
She 2: Thinking (Looks excited and wants to do it, starts talking)
She 1 (looks to she 2): No, (turns back to me): we don't know you.
Me (earlier today I had talked with me one of the great skills of james D is that when the girl objects him, James acknowledges the objection and moves it somewhere else, mate handling objections is a skill I love to learn): Fine, fine, it's fine.
I handled this one pretty well, much better than previous, I normally back off and discourage, and get annoyed. I think my level of reservation is decreasing a bit both for saying what I want and also with not getting annoyed.
I check my phone for a while, then I stand up and say: Nice to meet you ladies.
They: See you.
I get out of the mall, start the car, then stop it and park it again, I buy a notebook and a pen, write down my number.
I go to the girls, have a look I can't see any of them, both are gone.
I take another look, I see Alice sitting there, without her friend, her friend is gone, wow good luck.
I go to Alice and say: You made me buy a notebook and a pen (with a smile)
She is shy.
Me: (I cut the paper with my phone number and hand it to her, she looks around as if she feels being on the spotlight and takes the paper): Send me a text if you wanted to play today or next Sunday.
I leave.
You might think this is not a number closing, so stay tuned.
It's 4 pm I am at the Volleyball court, there is this new girl, one of the guys brought her since we needed a player.
I am good at volleyball, during the game:
Me: What is your name?
She: Linh.
Me: Your turn to serve.
Between two sets:
Me: (I throw her the ball): Let's warm up.
Another guy comes in and starts giving her tips about Volleybal.
During the set, I do some small talk,
Me: Do you study?
.
.
.
I find out she is a master's student, studies at "AA" unversity. I don't continue much because I want to concentrate on the Volleyball and I worry if I go on, other guys will tell me to play well.
After the game she is talking with a guy, I go close and start listening, once they stop speaking for a second I ask Linh and they guy: Are you in the same faculty?
They: Yes
Me: What do you study?
She: IT, do you study?
Me: No, I came here 7 years ago on a work visa.
She: Where do you work?
...
I kinda feel she is looking for a job, I tell her the company I work is a big one, she looks it up, says it is close to her campus and they are not hiring IT now.
We get out of the saloon, about to depart,
Me: Would you like me to add you to the volleyball group?
She: Yes, (smiles), another guy already got my number.
Me: let me grab your phone number
She opens WhatsApp
Me: I am not very comfortable with WhatsApp.
She: I will do it. (Scans my QR code and sends a message instantly: Linh)
We say goodbye!
I get home take shower, send her a text:
Me: Hi Linh, I a know a good bubble tea next to my office which I want to go this week, are you down?
She: Great, when are you going? I am pretty busy this week, only time I can do is "AA", or else we can do next week.
Me: I work 8-4 are you free in the afternoon?
She: Sorry, but I am playing Volleyball on Wednesday, will you join?
Me: Ok, so let's do it next weekend/week
She: Next Tuesday is fine too in the afternoon, sorry my schedule is crazy.
Me: Tuesday is good, 5pm?
She: sounds good
Me: Send her bubble tea location.
Tomorrow is a working day, I have not done approaching on a working day, I think I will start early, finish early and go straight to a mall after work.
Much less pressure today, I don't need to stick to a certain convo.
But on the other hand I was kinda down with the yesterday last approach in which the woman walked away while I was talking. Thought about it, well I didn't cause any harm, and was not harmed. Also I had approached 6-7 women, apart from the last one all were fine. They didn't get to anywhere but they were fine.
I also thought why the convos didn't go for long? I realized the only one that took a bit was with a girl who were standing by her own scrolling, all the others that I approached were walking, so not in a relaxed situation.
I was reading an LR by James D today, one asked him what signs he looks for before approaching, he said "she shall be in a relaxed situation". Wow! well said.
I have also witnessed my convo stalls when I want to say something but refrain from it. I am kinda a reserved man. Now I am thinking: "What comes into mind is the thing you have got to continue the convo, if you don't go for it, the convo stalls. You refrain from it because you think it is bad or not good enough. It is there, let it into existence, acknowledge it, then you see how it works, then you can twick it. If you don't acknowledge it, you as a person will stock there, in the next similar situation you will still be just the same."
So I will do todays task with two new tools: 1- Spot girls who are relaxing, chilled, etc. 2- Go for it.
I was a bit down when woke up this morning, started roaming around in forum, read "sex talk" article by "Alek" which hyped me. Some great eye opening sentences: "Beliefes affect behaviour".
I have promised myself to do this Newbie assignment for 14 days, so I will go to do Day 6 today, but I was not feeling it, after reading "sex talk" article I though: "Wow, sex drive is there, by doing the task you are appreciating sex drive and helping girls appreciate it."
I had the following convo with myself:
- Why are you doing this challenge?
-I want to create something good for myself and the girl
- Why do you do it with girls?
- Because I have got sex appeal towards girls, I am appreciating sex, and also helping the girl appreciate it. Creating something good for me and her, if this is that we both enjoy, why not? I like it, I have got excitement for it.
I have liked sex for a long time, but being exposed to this website and specifically James D LRs has changed something, James D has got this smooth approach, he starts the convo with her, leads the convo smoothly, creates some excitement, some bonding and have sex which is trilling for both of them. There is a story there, James makes her feel understood, creates excitement. This is kind of approach that I like, the approach itself is attractive for me. And of course the gift or maybe a significant milestone is having sex. Let's uphold this great nature power and enjoy it. Let's do our part to help girls uphold sex and enjoy it.
Ok, now about today's task.
I enter the shopping mall keeping in mind that convo is a two player dance, pay attention to the girls' situation, if she is chill there is much more chance to get somewhere.
I spot a blondy at a cafe sitting by herself scrolling, looks bored. I decide to order a coffee. I sit next to her while waiting for the coffee.
Me: Is the coffee here good?
She: Yes, it is pretty good
Me: It seems this is your go to cafe when you want to have coffee in this mall.
She: Yeas, that's right.
Me: What did you order?
She: Macchiato, what did you order?
Me: Chai latte, I am no1t that much of a coffee guy.
She: (her energy drops) Their Macchiato is pretty good (now I see why her energy dropped, she wanted to share her knowledge about coffee, and I just told her I am not intersted in coffee)
Me: Which one?
She: Macchiato, they make it pretty good here.
Me: How much coffee do you drink everyday?
She: Yes, everyday.
Me: I mean how many cups?
She: 2 (Her order is ready)
She to me: Have a good day.
Me: Thanks, you too.
She takes her coffee and leaves.
Lessons: 1- Don't rub differences on her face, look for similarities, that will increase her energy level.
You know how this convo could go forward? Let's imagine the following:
Once she says macchiato is good here I ask the saleswoman: Could you please change my order?
This would be breaking the rule, give her arousal.
Me to the girl: Now you have to wait till I get my coffee.
She: Why?
Me: Because I want to score your coffee taste. (Which creates the frame that I evaluate her.)
Anyway, I get my Chai Latte and taste it, it is really good.
I start walking, can't spot relaxed girls, get out of the mall take a short walk and get back in.
I tell myself task is done, you can go home now, but I want to continue, it seems I am enjoying it.
I walk around, enter the food court, spot a girl, not my type, on her laptop. The chair next to her is empty, I sit on it.
Me: You working from mall (smile)?
She 1: No, I am studying, the library is closed.
Me: Hmm, is a bummer, when every where else is open you would expect the library shall be open.
She 1: I know.
Me: Is it comfortable to study here?
She 1: It is a bit noisy but that is fine.
Me: What do you study?
She 1: Psychology.
.
.
.
I spot a girl sitting next to her, on her laptop too, she wants to be involved.
Me: And she must be your friend.
She 1: Yes she is.
Me to she 2: Do you also study Psychology?
She 2: No, I am studying ...., (gives some more info about what her major which I interpret as a sign of interest to continue the convo)
Me (she 2 is actually attractive): What is your name?
She 2: My name is Alice.
Me: My name is Tom. What is your plan for today?
She 1: We will study.
Me: For the whole day?
She 1: Yes, this one is due so...
Me: I hope you get over it.
It was kind of a bummer for me that they want to study the whole day, I liked to transit to a fun activity after that question but saw the whole day study as a block.
I check my cellphone, the good thing about approaching girls sitting is that if there you stop talking, you don't loose them, they are still there, just come up with something to continue.
I am playing Volleyball in the afternoon, one of the players just texted me to cancel, so now we are one player down.
Me: Are you guys into Volleyball?
She 1: No
She 2: I used to play in school but not much lately.
Me (I know it will have lots of constrains in it, but I have told me to go for it): Well, we are playing in the arvo at "AA" we are 11 players, so 1 player down, let me grab your phone number.
She 2: Thinking (Looks excited and wants to do it, starts talking)
She 1 (looks to she 2): No, (turns back to me): we don't know you.
Me (earlier today I had talked with me one of the great skills of james D is that when the girl objects him, James acknowledges the objection and moves it somewhere else, mate handling objections is a skill I love to learn): Fine, fine, it's fine.
I handled this one pretty well, much better than previous, I normally back off and discourage, and get annoyed. I think my level of reservation is decreasing a bit both for saying what I want and also with not getting annoyed.
I check my phone for a while, then I stand up and say: Nice to meet you ladies.
They: See you.
I get out of the mall, start the car, then stop it and park it again, I buy a notebook and a pen, write down my number.
I go to the girls, have a look I can't see any of them, both are gone.
I take another look, I see Alice sitting there, without her friend, her friend is gone, wow good luck.
I go to Alice and say: You made me buy a notebook and a pen (with a smile)
She is shy.
Me: (I cut the paper with my phone number and hand it to her, she looks around as if she feels being on the spotlight and takes the paper): Send me a text if you wanted to play today or next Sunday.
I leave.
You might think this is not a number closing, so stay tuned.
It's 4 pm I am at the Volleyball court, there is this new girl, one of the guys brought her since we needed a player.
I am good at volleyball, during the game:
Me: What is your name?
She: Linh.
Me: Your turn to serve.
Between two sets:
Me: (I throw her the ball): Let's warm up.
Another guy comes in and starts giving her tips about Volleybal.
During the set, I do some small talk,
Me: Do you study?
.
.
.
I find out she is a master's student, studies at "AA" unversity. I don't continue much because I want to concentrate on the Volleyball and I worry if I go on, other guys will tell me to play well.
After the game she is talking with a guy, I go close and start listening, once they stop speaking for a second I ask Linh and they guy: Are you in the same faculty?
They: Yes
Me: What do you study?
She: IT, do you study?
Me: No, I came here 7 years ago on a work visa.
She: Where do you work?
...
I kinda feel she is looking for a job, I tell her the company I work is a big one, she looks it up, says it is close to her campus and they are not hiring IT now.
We get out of the saloon, about to depart,
Me: Would you like me to add you to the volleyball group?
She: Yes, (smiles), another guy already got my number.
Me: let me grab your phone number
She opens WhatsApp
Me: I am not very comfortable with WhatsApp.
She: I will do it. (Scans my QR code and sends a message instantly: Linh)
We say goodbye!
I get home take shower, send her a text:
Me: Hi Linh, I a know a good bubble tea next to my office which I want to go this week, are you down?
She: Great, when are you going? I am pretty busy this week, only time I can do is "AA", or else we can do next week.
Me: I work 8-4 are you free in the afternoon?
She: Sorry, but I am playing Volleyball on Wednesday, will you join?
Me: Ok, so let's do it next weekend/week
She: Next Tuesday is fine too in the afternoon, sorry my schedule is crazy.
Me: Tuesday is good, 5pm?
She: sounds good
Me: Send her bubble tea location.
Tomorrow is a working day, I have not done approaching on a working day, I think I will start early, finish early and go straight to a mall after work.
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