- Joined
- Jun 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,897
Note that I'm writing this mostly to motivate myself and get back on top of things. Though any critique is always welcome!
Today was the first day I've gone out specifically to game in about 2 weeks and I feel I have lost a touch of mojo and have become slightly lazy. Ugh..
My goal in going out today was to practice leading better despite potential language barriers. There really aren't a lot of people out in about in this tiny town but I managed to stumble across some women on the beach. I really didn't push my limits today and stayed in my comfort zone the majority of the time.
First girl: Opened directly and soon found that she didn't speak English. She was somewhat receptive and I think based off her nonverbal I would classify her as moderately attracted to me. I asked her a couple questions and she kept apologizing for not understanding in which I kept warm body language and made it clear it didn't matter to me that we weren't able to get to know one another. I prompted her and her friend to keep walking with me down the beach in which she initially resisted saying she had a boyfriend. What I learned here is that I take the boyfriend card too seriously and make excuses for myself to not push the interaction to hard because I don't want to risk losing her. This is despite the fact that I got her to follow my lead and invest. Soon after I do a bad job leading and she gets distracted and starts walking on a concrete ledge. Scrutinizing it's quite painful to think back but I gave up leading here and she kind of went to do her own thing (take pictures etc) and I took a passive seat and watched. Instead I should have pushed to role play like adventures and not let her go do her own thing. The fact that her friend was there didn't help my conscience not make up more excuses to give up persisting in the fact I didn't want to come off as too pushy and have her friend dislike me as well as the girl I wanted. Lesson here is DON'T LET HER GO. Also I'm in another country talking to people I'll never see again in my life I have literally nothing to lose. This means I need to stop giving a shit what everyone's thinking about me or if I step on any toes to get what I want. It's time to go get it despite what others think.
Girl 2: Didn't approach for some bullshit excuse. Could have been my next lay but will never know now...
Girl 3: Approached and spoke English. Was sitting on the beach and I was kneeling down uncomfortably. She was fairly attracted but not as much as the first girl. I knew I needed to move her but took to long pulling the trigger and her ex boyfriend up turning it into an awkward situation for her and the ex. I knew I couldn't move her now and was hard to get her to agree to meet up later. I should have moved her as soon as we were comfortable in each others presence to gauge interest. Awkwardly sitting when she was comfortably laying thus not obeying law of least effort.
I learned a little about myself today and my ego's excuses to try and get me to give up on achieving my goals. The next time I go out I want to continue to practice leading and push myself to fuck up an interaction from over demanding compliance , touch, etc. to see where the boundaries are. I need to push myself into the learning zone and see that what I do doesn't matter and I need to throw all safety aside.
Something to think about... If I took a burn the club down approach and pushed myself on every interaction and approached a lot of women I think I could easily get a lay before I go back to the states in 16 days. Perhaps turning this trip into an experiment and using any free time to approach would be a good investment of my time. Need to better implement deliberate practice principles.
Today was the first day I've gone out specifically to game in about 2 weeks and I feel I have lost a touch of mojo and have become slightly lazy. Ugh..
My goal in going out today was to practice leading better despite potential language barriers. There really aren't a lot of people out in about in this tiny town but I managed to stumble across some women on the beach. I really didn't push my limits today and stayed in my comfort zone the majority of the time.
First girl: Opened directly and soon found that she didn't speak English. She was somewhat receptive and I think based off her nonverbal I would classify her as moderately attracted to me. I asked her a couple questions and she kept apologizing for not understanding in which I kept warm body language and made it clear it didn't matter to me that we weren't able to get to know one another. I prompted her and her friend to keep walking with me down the beach in which she initially resisted saying she had a boyfriend. What I learned here is that I take the boyfriend card too seriously and make excuses for myself to not push the interaction to hard because I don't want to risk losing her. This is despite the fact that I got her to follow my lead and invest. Soon after I do a bad job leading and she gets distracted and starts walking on a concrete ledge. Scrutinizing it's quite painful to think back but I gave up leading here and she kind of went to do her own thing (take pictures etc) and I took a passive seat and watched. Instead I should have pushed to role play like adventures and not let her go do her own thing. The fact that her friend was there didn't help my conscience not make up more excuses to give up persisting in the fact I didn't want to come off as too pushy and have her friend dislike me as well as the girl I wanted. Lesson here is DON'T LET HER GO. Also I'm in another country talking to people I'll never see again in my life I have literally nothing to lose. This means I need to stop giving a shit what everyone's thinking about me or if I step on any toes to get what I want. It's time to go get it despite what others think.
Girl 2: Didn't approach for some bullshit excuse. Could have been my next lay but will never know now...
Girl 3: Approached and spoke English. Was sitting on the beach and I was kneeling down uncomfortably. She was fairly attracted but not as much as the first girl. I knew I needed to move her but took to long pulling the trigger and her ex boyfriend up turning it into an awkward situation for her and the ex. I knew I couldn't move her now and was hard to get her to agree to meet up later. I should have moved her as soon as we were comfortable in each others presence to gauge interest. Awkwardly sitting when she was comfortably laying thus not obeying law of least effort.
I learned a little about myself today and my ego's excuses to try and get me to give up on achieving my goals. The next time I go out I want to continue to practice leading and push myself to fuck up an interaction from over demanding compliance , touch, etc. to see where the boundaries are. I need to push myself into the learning zone and see that what I do doesn't matter and I need to throw all safety aside.
Something to think about... If I took a burn the club down approach and pushed myself on every interaction and approached a lot of women I think I could easily get a lay before I go back to the states in 16 days. Perhaps turning this trip into an experiment and using any free time to approach would be a good investment of my time. Need to better implement deliberate practice principles.
