Thoughts on setting boundaries?

[Gladiator]

This happened yesterday. I met a chic during the day and setup a date for yesterday. Had no issues with texting and setting up the date. It was sexual and she knew she was coming over to have sex.

We had planned to meet at 7 PM. Around 3 PM, she texts asking if we can prepone since she had to wake up early today. So, I suggested 6 and she left me on read for sometime and it already pissed me off with that behavior but consoled myself thinking she's just "silly and cute". She agreed to meet at 6 pm.

Around 5 PM, she texts asking if we can move to another day since she's still shopping uniform for work today and she's exhausted. I said, "hmm.. are you sure?". For which she replied saying "she can meet but needs to be back by 9".

I thought 3 hours is long enough and said, "that's fine". At 5.30, she texts again asking "are you sure you want to meet me in a rush?". Tbh, I didn't think of it as a shit-test.

One thing I do during texting is to ask chics to get me something like a chocolate or anything which is not expensive. This is to get investment. I do this by playing a guessing game and if I win, they have to get it. So, she was supposed to bring a chocolate which she said she had got it.
So, when she asked if I really want to meet her in a hurry, I said "ya, let's meet, I'll at least collect my chocolate" and I then told to come over to my place. She said she didn't want to come over.

I was very tempted to just cancel everything but I've lost a lot like this in the past by overreacting and agreed to meet at a bar closer to my place.

I didn't leave home until she arrived which was a good thing since she was late by 20 mins and it was very likely a shit-test and passed it.

By then I had already lost interest but she was behaving like nothing happened and she hadn't got the chocolate too. I bullied her throughout the date, mocking her for breaking my trust etc etc.

I even wanted to leave in 30 mins since I knew she's not going to come over anyways but she delayed for another 30 mins asking me to stay. I may have overreacted as well but I thought she deserved it for all the drama that she created.

Anyway, the date lasted 1-1.5 hrs and she didn't text me back and I didn't text her either. I didn't like her behavior and I won't text her again, either.

I felt a bit gamed and I'm sure I fumbled somewhere but would like you guys to help pinpoint at what point I should've stopped or what I should've done instead of doing what I did? More precisely when and how should I have drawn boundaries?

Appreciate your thoughts and criticisms.

 

[Will_V]

It was sexual and she knew she was coming over to have sex.

This is likely the root of the problem. She was investing a lot (agreeing to meet you quickly, getting sexual fast - I don't know what you mean by she 'knew' she was coming for sex but in any case for a girl to meet you on those terms is massive investment for her) and so at some point she became uncomfortable and tried to find a way to stall or somehow balance the investment in some way - 'i'm tired', 'I have to be back by 9' (i.e. don't expect sex), 'I'm busy'. All these reflect her thinking 'wtf am I doing going to have sex with this guy so soon?'.

And she didn't get chocolate because why? - she's already way over-investing compared to you.

She left you on read while she tried to figure out how to remove all the pressure from herself, but still wanted to meet you.

By then I had already lost interest but she was behaving like nothing happened and she hadn't got the chocolate too. I bullied her throughout the date, mocking her for breaking my trust etc etc.

I even wanted to leave in 30 mins since I knew she's not going to come over anyways but she delayed for another 30 mins asking me to stay. I may have overreacted as well but I thought she deserved it for all the drama that she created.

This is where you needed to find a way to chill her out and release all the pressure, but instead you ratcheted it up. Looks like she liked you - wanting you to stay and have the opportunity to make it work - but in the end you simply didn't make it possible for things to work.

More precisely when and how should I have drawn boundaries?

Boundaries don't make up for lack of opportunity. Without taking care of her reservations it doesn't matter what boundaries you draw because she's outside of them.

Once you knew what approach to take to remove the obstacles, you could just tease her a little for the things she did then move on with the seduction, building rapport and attainability, then getting sexual again when she's more comfortable.

 

[Gladiator]

Thanks @Will_V

This is likely the root of the problem. She was investing a lot (agreeing to meet you quickly, getting sexual fast - I don't know what you mean by she 'knew' she was coming for sex but in any case for a girl to meet you on those terms is massive investment for her) and so at some point she became uncomfortable and tried to find a way to stall or somehow balance the investment in some way - 'i'm tired', 'I have to be back by 9' (i.e. don't expect sex), 'I'm busy'. All these reflect her thinking 'wtf am I doing going to have sex with this guy so soon?'.

And she didn't get chocolate because why? - she's already way over-investing compared to you.

Hmm.. I think you're right

She left you on read while she tried to figure out how to remove all the pressure from herself, but still wanted to meet you.

Hadn't thought of that perspective.

This is where you needed to find a way to chill her out and release all the pressure, but instead you ratcheted it up. Looks like she liked you - wanting you to stay and have the opportunity to make it work - but in the end you simply didn't make it possible for things to work.

This is where it was a catch-22 situation for me.

She wanted to wake up at 5 am which I know she wasn't lying since I knew her schedule and she was going to work 2 jobs, both of them the first day and she was stressed about them. She has to work upto 18 hrs today but she wanted to hangout with me only outside while also saying she wants to be friends with me.

On the other hand she was touching me all the time and even touching my cheeks to not be angry. I was mocking her not to touch me since she broke my trust etc etc. As I write this.. I realise..

Damn bro! Now I can connect the dots.. she wanted to just come home with me . I thought she really wanted to go home at 9 PM. Feels shameful to think of it.

 

[Will_V]

I find that girls who are very busy tend to be pretty flakey, and her telling you she wants to be friends is not a great sign, so you still had to make sure to keep things sexual and hold frame .. but yeah at the end of the day the date is where escalation happens so imo the best approach was to keep the texting chill and focus on making the date happen, and then on the date that's where you come in without preconceptions, read the lay of the land and start to maneuver accordingly, but instead you were too annoyed with her by this point and focused on chewing her out.

Just one of those things that happens when our ego gets in the way

 

[TomInHo]

This happened yesterday. I met a chic during the day and setup a date for yesterday. Had no issues with texting and setting up the date. It was sexual and she knew she was coming over to have sex.

We had planned to meet at 7 PM. Around 3 PM, she texts asking if we can prepone since she had to wake up early today. So, I suggested 6 and she left me on read for sometime and it already pissed me off with that behavior but consoled myself thinking she's just "silly and cute". She agreed to meet at 6 pm.

You sure she knew she was coming over for sex?

Around 5 PM, she texts asking if we can move to another day since she's still shopping uniform for work today and she's exhausted. I said, "hmm.. are you sure?". For which she replied saying "she can meet but needs to be back by 9".

Sounds like she was getting cold feet here

I thought 3 hours is long enough and said, "that's fine". At 5.30, she texts again asking "are you sure you want to meet me in a rush?". Tbh, I didn't think of it as a shit-test.

It’s not a shit test. She is probably feeling a little nervous about the date and might have a real time constraint

But you being pushy is not really helping her get more comfy and become more compliant

One thing I do during texting is to ask chics to get me something like a chocolate or anything which is not expensive. This is to get investment. I do this by playing a guessing game and if I win, they have to get it. So, she was supposed to bring a chocolate which she said she had got it.
So, when she asked if I really want to meet her in a hurry, I said "ya, let's meet, I'll at least collect my chocolate" and I then told to come over to my place. She said she didn't want to come over.

Aha.. she just gave you the underlying concern. She’s not comfortable coming over to your house yet

In that situation it’s best to figure out what the real concern is

“If you’re too nervous to come over I understand. But curious what changed because you seemed comfortable with it before”

Usually this will get them to reveal the real objection

“I don’t feel comfortable meeting at your place first”
Oh no problem. Let’s meet somewhere public so we can both be comfortable on our first meet

“I think you want sex and I’m not sure I’m ready for that”
Don’t get me wrong, I love sex. But only want it when the chemistry is mutual and the vibe is right. Got no expectations for anything to happen

“I’m not into hooking up/ ONS and feel all you want is sex”
Not really a fan of hooking up and ONS anymore. It’s not fulfilling because if I have sex with someone it means we had strong chemistry and I usually like to see how things develop naturally from there. But still have no expectations for tonight

“How do I know you’re not a serial killer?”
I only kill on Tuesday/Wednesday and today is Friday. So you're good


Address the concern on the spot and you can get a lot of girls to still come over

I didn't leave home until she arrived which was a good thing since she was late by 20 mins and it was very likely a shit-test and passed it.

Everything ain’t a shit test bro lol. Girls be late sometimes, especially when they just met you… it ain’t that serious

By then I had already lost interest but she was behaving like nothing happened and she hadn't got the chocolate too. I bullied her throughout the date, mocking her for breaking my trust etc etc.

She’s behaving like nothing happened because she acting like a typical girl lol. It’s not a big deal at all

Yeah you can tease her a little about it but move on quickly and shift to seducing her. Because that shit kills the vibe when you’re all salty

I even wanted to leave in 30 mins since I knew she's not going to come over anyways but she delayed for another 30 mins asking me to stay. I may have overreacted as well but I thought she deserved it for all the drama that she created.

You need to chill

Anyway, the date lasted 1-1.5 hrs and she didn't text me back and I didn't text her either. I didn't like her behavior and I won't text her again, either.

Well guess what… some other guy is not going to make a big deal from her acting like a girl, handle her objections then fuck her brains out

While you can be mad about her being “disrespectful”

Please fuck the chick first before worrying too much about stuff like that

I felt a bit gamed and I'm sure I fumbled somewhere but would like you guys to help pinpoint at what point I should've stopped or what I should've done instead of doing what I did? More precisely when and how should I have drawn boundaries?

You fumbled in lots of places and your ego cost you the lay. Just needed to relax, focus on having a good time and managing her emotions better

The girl was just nervous and can tell she liked you, but you misinterpreted her awkwardness as disrespect

Sad really but hopefully things seem more clear now

 

[Gladiator]

read the lay of the land and start to maneuver accordingly, but instead you were too annoyed with her by this point and focused on chewing her out.

Just one of those things that happens when our ego gets in the way

I think this is where I fumbled. Anger and Ego got the best of me and couldn't see things clearly

Looking back to yesterday, I had an argument with my friend just before the date and I was fuming over him and perhaps it translated to the date as well. I'm now feeling silly to have behaved like how I did yesterday.

You sure she knew she was coming over for sex?

Yes, when I met her, it was a long conversation more like an instant date.. had done sex talk and also I said, I like girls with nice ass and she was giggling. I asked, do you have a nice ass and looked behind her and lightly spanked and she said "Hey!".. there was sexual vibe.. you get the idea.

Sounds like she was getting cold feet here



It’s not a shit test. She is probably feeling a little nervous about the date and might have a real time constraint

But you being pushy is not really helping her get more comfy and become more compliant

Somehow, constantly changing the plans also made me feel like I was tooled.

Aha.. she just gave you the underlying concern. She’s not comfortable coming over to your house yet

In that situation it’s best to figure out what the real concern is

“If you’re too nervous to come over I understand. But curious what changed because you seemed comfortable with it before”

Usually this will get them to reveal the real objection

“I don’t feel comfortable meeting at your place first”
Oh no problem. Let’s meet somewhere public so we can both be comfortable on our first meet

“I think you want sex and I’m not sure I’m ready for that”
Don’t get me wrong, I love sex. But only want it when the chemistry is mutual and the vibe is right. Got no expectations for anything to happen

“I’m not into hooking up/ ONS and feel all you want is sex”
Not really a fan of hooking up and ONS anymore. It’s not fulfilling because if I have sex with someone it means we had strong chemistry and I usually like to see how things develop naturally from there. But still have no expectations for tonight

“How do I know you’re not a serial killer?”
I only kill on Tuesday/Wednesday and today is Friday. So you're good


Address the concern on the spot and you can get a lot of girls to still come over



Everything ain’t a shit test bro lol. Girls be late sometimes, especially when they just met you… it ain’t that serious

Ya, somehow I didn't do this.. should've done this

She’s behaving like nothing happened because she acting like a typical girl lol. It’s not a big deal at all

Yeah you can tease her a little about it but move on quickly and shift to seducing her. Because that shit kills the vibe when you’re all salty



You need to chill

If you had said the same yesterday, probably I'd have not listened cos I was quite upset but now I'm able to make sense of things

Well guess what… some other guy is not going to make a big deal from her acting like a girl, handle her objections then fuck her brains out

While you can be mad about her being “disrespectful”

Honestly, I dont care about respect generally.. at least not with women.. lol...I have deeply ingrained in my brain that "Girls are silly and cute" but not sure why I got very reactive.. Like I said earlier, I was pissed with a friend before this and probably that added to this and I just made mountain out of a molehill. Fuck!

Please fuck the chick first before worrying too much about stuff like that



You fumbled in lots of places and your ego cost you the lay.

Both you and @Will_V pointed to my ego.. I have to learn to separate my emotions between people.. being pissed with my friend was translated to this interaction as well..

Just needed to relax, focus on having a good time and managing her emotions better

The girl was just nervous and can tell she liked you, but you misinterpreted her awkwardness as disrespect

Sad really but hopefully things seem more clear now

Yeah bro.. cheers..

I did one right thing in the end, I think I have a small window of opportunity still open. When I was leaving, I said I'm feeling uneasy since I wanted to leave. She asked "So, are you really going?" I said "Yes" and she made a sad face.. I dont know what made me do that but I said, "Come here, I'll hug you" and we hugged and she left..

Probably I can text her in a couple of days saying I had a sick stomach, when I met her and so I left and couldn't explain then. Will see if we can reschedule.
I know this is a very very slim chance with the blunder I did .. she said, I can't really say if you're really angry or just being funny...haha but at least I'll give this a try.

 

[TomInHo]

I would text her ASAP and not in a few days

Let her know that you weren’t feeling well and also got the vibe she was nervous too. Then suggest a do-over for the date because the last one doesn’t count

Don’t try and play it too cool now because she may cool off and move on

 

[Skills]

I personally don't like to do sexual encounters when women hint "wake up early" "postpone to another date" etc..... For me works better, i understand nothing to worry about, taking her side and postpone.... unless is a pre sex date to have sex the next date...

It seems you were setting up a sexual encounter..... "wake up early" "do it early" "5 am" just before the date to much negative compliance, again me i rather postpone.... But that is just me.

do me a favor review this post, it kind of touches on this subject...

 

[Gladiator]

I personally don't like to do sexual encounters when women hint "wake up early" "postpone to another date" etc..... For me works better, i understand nothing to worry about, taking her side and postpone.... unless is a pre sex date to have sex the next date...

It seems you were setting up a sexual encounter..... "wake up early" "do it early" "5 am" just before the date to much negative compliance, again me i rather postpone.... But that is just me.

do me a favor review this post, it kind of touches on this subject...

I know the link that you shared but sadly didn't remember this scenario.. I should've postponed.

Anyway, the reason I went to meet is, I didn't want her to think "he wants to meet only if sex is possible". I wanted to put her at ease by making her feel "he likes me as a person too" and so went but that was a wrong move.

 

[Gladiator]

Update:
tl;Dr: I met her yesterday finally and we had sex.

Long story:
Day 1:
After @TomInHo suggested to send a text to her, I right away texted her this:

I didn't want to apologize since I didn't want to make a big deal out of my behavior.

Me: "How are you finding your new jobs?
Not sure what they added to my drink yesterday, I'm still recovering from a bad stomach"

Day 2:
She: You must have eaten bad education

English is not her first language but basically what she meant is I haven't learnt how to treat a girl. Ugh!

I realised the blunder and wanted to play it cool and sent her this:

Day 3:
Me: Someone doesn't seem to get my deadpan humor

She leaves me on read. I knew she's hurt and not going to get back anymore. So, I sent a long conciliatory text:

Day 4:

Me:
Hey, hope you're loving your jobs.. you seem to have taken my deadpan humor seriously. You started it & I played along... Do you really think I'll be rude with you? It's not the first time you were seeing me & you know I like to playfully annoy you..I would've liked to spend more time with you but I started to feel a bit nauseous in the end.

Now, don't be like this.. be normal & crazy, talk to me. I wanted to call you but I know you're busy. Last one doesn't count anyway.. let's meet again like lovely people we are

She replies almost immediately;

She: I was really tired and I told you stop being like that. You know I dont know you well so I didnt know if it was a joke or it was serious. Any way I am not mad at you, I just dont like people treat me bad , so if you are going to be like that I rather not seeing you again

For which I replied back,

Me:
You were giggling and I thought you were not taking it seriously. Anyway, let's drop that here. Next drink is on me.
Tell me about your new jobs and everything about you

She replied about her new jobs and how she is tired etc but still was not sounding cheerful and it was understandable.

I made a mistake here.. I soft-closed at this point (sorry @Skills)

Me: Take it easy!
Remedy for tiredness:
Step 1: take rest
Step 2: meet a handsome gentleman

She: I don't know any gentleman

Me: Remind me when we meet I'll give you details of someone I know

She leaves me on read after this point. I thought it's game over and I didn't text her anymore but she was shit-testing me.

After 2 days,

She: We can go to cinema if you like.
We can be friends again xD

Me: Not today.. I have some work tonight
Another day this week?

I think she got a bit pissed off and sent

She: Ok, then let's be in touch

I think she sensed I'm out with some other chic since I didn't respond to her text anymore. She double-texted after 2 hrs

She: Maybe Wednesday?

Me: Sure we can do Wednesday

** Arranged logistics past this point **

I didn't invite her home this time since the compliance was very low. I took her to a rooftop fancy bar and she was delighted. To not fall into boyfriend zone, during the date I said "normally I like my dates to be causal but last time you were not so happy, so I thought you deserved a treat. So, we came to this fancy place".

She was very happy and she was touching me all the time during the date, except she grilled me a lot for that behavior last time and I playfully pretended not to hear any of that.

Said we'll go home and dance bachata and she said "only dance", I said of course and came home and we danced. Kissed her immediately after 1st dance. She let me suck her boobs but wouldn't let me touch her pussy. After a lot of resistance, for more than 1-1.5 hrs of fractionating, she says she hasn't shaved and she can do another time. I said, I really like unshaved pussy and she was super-reluctant and so we planned to meet again on Sunday. It was very late and so asked her to stay back if she likes and she said if you don't fuck, then I can and I said ok and we slept.

I was horny and was spooning her all night. In the morning I started, fondling her boobs and she said you really want to do it, don't you? I said not if you don't want. She said, ok let's do it. I didn't last too long since I hadn't slept well, I lasted a max of 5 mins and I said I need to get to work soon. So, finished quickly which was a lie. We planned to meet again on Sunday but let's see...

Few lessons learnt:

• My overreaction made it an uphill battle. Otherwise would've been a cakewalk.
• Soft-closed at the wrong time
• You lose a little to win a lot
• She was a sweet girl and didn't deserve to be treated like I did. I really felt sorry for that. I'm glad it was all good in the end. In the past, I used to think of chics as numbers but after I came to this forum, I've become more empathetic and it's really showing up in my interactions. Chics are very good at picking that up. However, I'm feeling a bit confused. In the past, I would not feel anything after sex but today when I walked her to the door, I felt like I made a connection but something was unsettling cos deep down I'm not looking for a connection. Would like to know thoughts from others on this.
• Going with the girl's pace makes it so much easier.
• Fractionation is a silver-bullet. When she was not allowing me to touch her pussy. I would playfully act like snoring and she'd wake me up saying, don't be like that, cuddle me.
• IFor some reason, I felt a soft-corner for this girl and I was very kind and she said that many times but it's very unlike me and I'm not sure if being kind like walking her to the door, asking her to text me when she gets back home, being very empathetic throughout the conversation etc sends her a wrong signal and hopefully she won't catch feelings for me. Open for advice here as well.

I thought I'll make a LR but the initial part is all normal, that guys have seen in most other day-game LRs. Above points were the highlights of the lay, anyway.

 

[Skills]

Update:
tl;Dr: I met her yesterday finally and we had sex.

Long story:
Day 1:
After @TomInHo suggested to send a text to her, I right away texted her this:

I didn't want to apologize since I didn't want to make a big deal out of my behavior.

Me: "How are you finding your new jobs?
Not sure what they added to my drink yesterday, I'm still recovering from a bad stomach"

Day 2:
She: You must have eaten bad education

English is not her first language but basically what she meant is I haven't learnt how to treat a girl. Ugh!

I realised the blunder and wanted to play it cool and sent her this:

Day 3:
Me: Someone doesn't seem to get my deadpan humor

She leaves me on read. I knew she's hurt and not going to get back anymore. So, I sent a long conciliatory text:

Day 4:

Me:
Hey, hope you're loving your jobs.. you seem to have taken my deadpan humor seriously. You started it & I played along... Do you really think I'll be rude with you? It's not the first time you were seeing me & you know I like to playfully annoy you..I would've liked to spend more time with you but I started to feel a bit nauseous in the end.

Now, don't be like this.. be normal & crazy, talk to me. I wanted to call you but I know you're busy. Last one doesn't count anyway.. let's meet again like lovely people we are

She replies almost immediately;

She: I was really tired and I told you stop being like that. You know I dont know you well so I didnt know if it was a joke or it was serious. Any way I am not mad at you, I just dont like people treat me bad , so if you are going to be like that I rather not seeing you again

For which I replied back,

Me:
You were giggling and I thought you were not taking it seriously. Anyway, let's drop that here. Next drink is on me.
Tell me about your new jobs and everything about you

She replied about her new jobs and how she is tired etc but still was not sounding cheerful and it was understandable.

I made a mistake here.. I soft-closed at this point (sorry @Skills)

Me: Take it easy!
Remedy for tiredness:
Step 1: take rest
Step 2: meet a handsome gentleman

She: I don't know any gentleman

Me: Remind me when we meet I'll give you details of someone I know

She leaves me on read after this point. I thought it's game over and I didn't text her anymore but she was shit-testing me.

After 2 days,

She: We can go to cinema if you like.
We can be friends again xD

Me: Not today.. I have some work tonight
Another day this week?

I think she got a bit pissed off and sent

She: Ok, then let's be in touch

I think she sensed I'm out with some other chic since I didn't respond to her text anymore. She double-texted after 2 hrs

She: Maybe Wednesday?

Me: Sure we can do Wednesday

** Arranged logistics past this point **

I didn't invite her home this time since the compliance was very low. I took her to a rooftop fancy bar and she was delighted. To not fall into boyfriend zone, during the date I said "normally I like my dates to be causal but last time you were not so happy, so I thought you deserved a treat. So, we came to this fancy place".

She was very happy and she was touching me all the time during the date, except she grilled me a lot for that behavior last time and I playfully pretended not to hear any of that.

Said we'll go home and dance bachata and she said "only dance", I said of course and came home and we danced. Kissed her immediately after 1st dance. She let me suck her boobs but wouldn't let me touch her pussy. After a lot of resistance, for more than 1-1.5 hrs of fractionating, she says she hasn't shaved and she can do another time. I said, I really like unshaved pussy and she was super-reluctant and so we planned to meet again on Sunday. It was very late and so asked her to stay back if she likes and she said if you don't fuck, then I can and I said ok and we slept.

I was horny and was spooning her all night. In the morning I started, fondling her boobs and she said you really want to do it, don't you? I said not if you don't want. She said, ok let's do it. I didn't last too long since I hadn't slept well, I lasted a max of 5 mins and I said I need to get to work soon. So, finished quickly which was a lie. We planned to meet again on Sunday but let's see...

Few lessons learnt:

• My overreaction made it an uphill battle. Otherwise would've been a cakewalk.
• Soft-closed at the wrong time
• You lose a little to win a lot
• She was a sweet girl and didn't deserve to be treated like I did. I really felt sorry for that. I'm glad it was all good in the end. In the past, I used to think of chics as numbers but after I came to this forum, I've become more empathetic and it's really showing up in my interactions. Chics are very good at picking that up. However, I'm feeling a bit confused. In the past, I would not feel anything after sex but today when I walked her to the door, I felt like I made a connection but something was unsettling cos deep down I'm not looking for a connection. Would like to know thoughts from others on this.
• Going with the girl's pace makes it so much easier.
• Fractionation is a silver-bullet. When she was not allowing me to touch her pussy. I would playfully act like snoring and she'd wake me up saying, don't be like that, cuddle me.
• IFor some reason, I felt a soft-corner for this girl and I was very kind and she said that many times but it's very unlike me and I'm not sure if being kind like walking her to the door, asking her to text me when she gets back home, being very empathetic throughout the conversation etc sends her a wrong signal and hopefully she won't catch feelings for me. Open for advice here as well.

I thought I'll make a LR but the initial part is all normal, that guys have seen in most other day-game LRs. Above points were the highlights of the lay, anyway.

That did not come across as a soft close, but as a cocky funny joke, and you did a nice future projection...man you improved a lot...not a fan of your 5 minutes mediocre sex, specially after i just made a post specifically about this...

 

[TomInHo]

Update:
tl;Dr: I met her yesterday finally and we had sex.

Long story:
Day 1:
After @TomInHo suggested to send a text to her, I right away texted her this:

I didn't want to apologize since I didn't want to make a big deal out of my behavior.

Me: "How are you finding your new jobs?
Not sure what they added to my drink yesterday, I'm still recovering from a bad stomach"

Day 2:
She: You must have eaten bad education

English is not her first language but basically what she meant is I haven't learnt how to treat a girl. Ugh!

I realised the blunder and wanted to play it cool and sent her this:

Day 3:
Me: Someone doesn't seem to get my deadpan humor

She leaves me on read. I knew she's hurt and not going to get back anymore. So, I sent a long conciliatory text:

Day 4:

Me:
Hey, hope you're loving your jobs.. you seem to have taken my deadpan humor seriously. You started it & I played along... Do you really think I'll be rude with you? It's not the first time you were seeing me & you know I like to playfully annoy you..I would've liked to spend more time with you but I started to feel a bit nauseous in the end.

Now, don't be like this.. be normal & crazy, talk to me. I wanted to call you but I know you're busy. Last one doesn't count anyway.. let's meet again like lovely people we are

She replies almost immediately;

She: I was really tired and I told you stop being like that. You know I dont know you well so I didnt know if it was a joke or it was serious. Any way I am not mad at you, I just dont like people treat me bad , so if you are going to be like that I rather not seeing you again

For which I replied back,

Me:
You were giggling and I thought you were not taking it seriously. Anyway, let's drop that here. Next drink is on me.
Tell me about your new jobs and everything about you

She replied about her new jobs and how she is tired etc but still was not sounding cheerful and it was understandable.

I made a mistake here.. I soft-closed at this point (sorry @Skills)

Me: Take it easy!
Remedy for tiredness:
Step 1: take rest
Step 2: meet a handsome gentleman

She: I don't know any gentleman

Me: Remind me when we meet I'll give you details of someone I know

She leaves me on read after this point. I thought it's game over and I didn't text her anymore but she was shit-testing me.

After 2 days,

She: We can go to cinema if you like.
We can be friends again xD

Me: Not today.. I have some work tonight
Another day this week?

I think she got a bit pissed off and sent

She: Ok, then let's be in touch

I think she sensed I'm out with some other chic since I didn't respond to her text anymore. She double-texted after 2 hrs

She: Maybe Wednesday?

Me: Sure we can do Wednesday

** Arranged logistics past this point **

I didn't invite her home this time since the compliance was very low. I took her to a rooftop fancy bar and she was delighted. To not fall into boyfriend zone, during the date I said "normally I like my dates to be causal but last time you were not so happy, so I thought you deserved a treat. So, we came to this fancy place".

She was very happy and she was touching me all the time during the date, except she grilled me a lot for that behavior last time and I playfully pretended not to hear any of that.

Said we'll go home and dance bachata and she said "only dance", I said of course and came home and we danced. Kissed her immediately after 1st dance. She let me suck her boobs but wouldn't let me touch her pussy. After a lot of resistance, for more than 1-1.5 hrs of fractionating, she says she hasn't shaved and she can do another time. I said, I really like unshaved pussy and she was super-reluctant and so we planned to meet again on Sunday. It was very late and so asked her to stay back if she likes and she said if you don't fuck, then I can and I said ok and we slept.

I was horny and was spooning her all night. In the morning I started, fondling her boobs and she said you really want to do it, don't you? I said not if you don't want. She said, ok let's do it. I didn't last too long since I hadn't slept well, I lasted a max of 5 mins and I said I need to get to work soon. So, finished quickly which was a lie. We planned to meet again on Sunday but let's see...

Few lessons learnt:

• My overreaction made it an uphill battle. Otherwise would've been a cakewalk.
• Soft-closed at the wrong time
• You lose a little to win a lot
• She was a sweet girl and didn't deserve to be treated like I did. I really felt sorry for that. I'm glad it was all good in the end. In the past, I used to think of chics as numbers but after I came to this forum, I've become more empathetic and it's really showing up in my interactions. Chics are very good at picking that up. However, I'm feeling a bit confused. In the past, I would not feel anything after sex but today when I walked her to the door, I felt like I made a connection but something was unsettling cos deep down I'm not looking for a connection. Would like to know thoughts from others on this.
• Going with the girl's pace makes it so much easier.
• Fractionation is a silver-bullet. When she was not allowing me to touch her pussy. I would playfully act like snoring and she'd wake me up saying, don't be like that, cuddle me.
• IFor some reason, I felt a soft-corner for this girl and I was very kind and she said that many times but it's very unlike me and I'm not sure if being kind like walking her to the door, asking her to text me when she gets back home, being very empathetic throughout the conversation etc sends her a wrong signal and hopefully she won't catch feelings for me. Open for advice here as well.

I thought I'll make a LR but the initial part is all normal, that guys have seen in most other day-game LRs. Above points were the highlights of the lay, anyway.

Nice… she still liked you. Just needed a slightly softer touch

But you are feeling the connection because you had to invest a ton to get the lay. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that btw, just something to be aware of as you push things further

 

[Gladiator]

That did not come across as a soft close, but as a cocky funny joke, and you did a nice future projection...man you improved a lot...not a fan of your 5 minutes mediocre sex, specially after i just made a post specifically about this...

I know..I was very disappointed as well.. after so much build-up with sex-talk etc. Anyway, thanks for the link. I think I need this cos she is incessantly texting since morning and she may as well meet me again on Sunday and I dont want to disappoint her again, although she doesn't seem to be disappointed..

Nice… she still liked you. Just needed a slightly softer touch

But you are feeling the connection because you had to invest a ton to get the lay. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that btw, just something to be aware of as you push things further

You're right about investment but I dont mind if I can keep her for a long time.. she has an amazing body which was hard to notice with clothes on.. lol.. Just a bit wary of hurting her feelings, since she was asking a lot of questions after sex about my future plans etc