Time intervention, fail to seal the deal rightaway

[Wierdwolf]

I jus hav a lesson learnt from last Friday to today Sunday..

I met someone from online dating, all went well during dinner, she asked me lots of questions, i used screen and qualifying and also SAC (Compliance and deep diving), so when we left the dinner place i held her hands and she was acceptive, feeling was good. So we went to Marina Bay Sands promenade and we really get close body to body, i asked she likes me n she nod her head, i attempt to kiss her on the lips immediately, thou she was shy, she still accept my lip to lip kiss... and we were holding hands all the way walking around MBS. When we took the escalator, she was all a ok i touch the waste and closed my body on her. She touched me and even put her head on me so all very very good sign... initially i told her i like to see her the following day, but she says shes meeting her friends and i told her i will meet her after shes done with her friends. But i decided to be a nice guy eventually and told her I will see her on Sunday so she will not be time tight while meeting her friends on Saturday. Finally when we left, i decided to drive her around Orchard Road to see the pre Xmas lights setup, then i kiss her, thou she was still shy, she still allow the kiss, and she was holding my hand ticking all on her body as she sat beside me while i drive. At a certain traffic light, she lean in over n kiss me a few times on the lips, touching me like all was great. I think when she mentioned about going to sea cruise, i told her i can go with her but she tease me n say i was thinking very far ahead. But the next important matter was when I was sending her home, my hand was on her vagina area, whole palm rested well and she was fine with it... finally when drop her home, we exchange number, we hugged and she says she loves the feeling, i kiss her on the lips again, though she was shy but she was still fine.

Then the following day, she went out with her friends, i chose to give space and this is the time bomb when things gone south... her friends were introducing a guy to her, so then on she gave him her number and even allow him to send her home... we had no text exchange during that night...

Came today Sunday, we met as agreed on the 1st date, she told me about last night and then when I hold her hands, she was reluctant, despite when i touch her like waist and lap, she was still ok, but here then she says she should have the freedom to know others and it will be too early or quick to recognise we are in a relationship. I was angry and blasted her for being too naive, i even showed her my former partners photos and my former partners are younger and prettier than her, all Singaporeans and shes from China for petes sake... i got fed up because when actually on Friday, i told her i was ready to put an end to my dating quest and i deleted a bumble fixed date match on Saturday right infront of her eyes. So i felt betrayed...

I actually don't feel too upset or hurt because Amante Chase and David Tian who I learnt and follow mentioned in the courses, time intervention and also investment level are the killer...

Should I aroused her more on the 1st date and bed her to stamp it firm ? I need this critical advice ! I bought One Date and Invincible, I find it magically I can create attraction pretty solidly.. but did I FAIL TO SEAL THE DEAL, i believe I make a mistake

 

[MECHRuins]

You fucked up by reacting so hard when she mentioned being free to meet other guys. A seducer would have just calmly agreed with it and not let it affect you. You showing pictures of past lovers came off as validation seeking. You lost interest level there.

It's just your first date and you're already willing to commit to this girl?

 

[Wierdwolf]

You fucked up by reacting so hard when she mentioned being free to meet other guys. A seducer would have just calmly agreed with it and not let it affect you. You showing pictures of past lovers came off as validation seeking. You lost interest level there.

It's just your first date and you're already willing to commit to this girl?

I accept ur take and thank u for letting me learn from this angle...

But this is because I met another case exactly the same. When on 1st date, if she holds ur hand, touches u even once, future projection with you, change her opinion to suit you, allow u to touch her lap, how will you react when 2 days later, she tells you she is scared and don't like to be touched ? There must be a peak on the 1st date that is missing out right ? Time intervention, window escalation closed, HER FRIENDS AND SIBLINGS ARE HAVING A GREAT PART AS WELL JUST LIKE MY ORIGINAL CASE...

Also i never cheat on my former lovers when I leave them, is because they wanted to marry me without me staying with my mother, I am a only child and its my filial duty to look after the old woman who went through hard time to bring me where am I. So i feel i have let the date know I have preselection and seriously, I would never get those things back to the picture when Im with my date in a relationship. Its not validation, its my own affirmation to not be bogged down by a woman who seems naively thinking I seek validation. As least she can ask herself in the mirror, how does she look to be a deceiving character and I used the Bumble unmatch as a test.

My intent of my post is, One Date I bought and learn is that you need to bed her to make sure you stand a good chance to preserve your standings in her heart or mind. Wrong me if I learn it wronged, i am fine to accept.

Would you be very amazed of this 180 degrees turn when she has said, UR FUNNY, I LOVE TO HUG YOU, I LEAN OVER AND KISS U ON THE LIPS, TOUCHING YOU, COMPLIMENTING YOU, when u can make her feel aroused with ur hands on the lap while driving, will you step back and let the night go off. Also I need to ask was it a mistake not to insist to see her on the next day despite she is seeing her friends, because her friends has setup a single guy friend to know her, I would have come right on apot at the night, things can still change. But if I bed her, do i need to worry about the Saturday, I feel Sunday will not be the same fate... btw I just wanna have some respect for her as a human, but all I want is the expert truth, i am not guru, I just need genuine advice and guide to understand this THANKS !

 

[KJ Francis]

I accept ur take and thank u for letting me learn from this angle...

But this is because I met another case exactly the same. When on 1st date, if she holds ur hand, touches u even once, future projection with you, change her opinion to suit you, allow u to touch her lap, how will you react when 2 days later, she tells you she is scared and don't like to be touched ? There must be a peak on the 1st date that is missing out right ? Time intervention, window escalation closed, HER FRIENDS AND SIBLINGS ARE HAVING A GREAT PART AS WELL JUST LIKE MY ORIGINAL CASE...

Also i never cheat on my former lovers when I leave them, is because they wanted to marry me without me staying with my mother, I am a only child and its my filial duty to look after the old woman who went through hard time to bring me where am I. So i feel i have let the date know I have preselection and seriously, I would never get those things back to the picture when Im with my date in a relationship. Its not validation, its my own affirmation to not be bogged down by a woman who seems naively thinking I seek validation. As least she can ask herself in the mirror, how does she look to be a deceiving character and I used the Bumble unmatch as a test.

My intent of my post is, One Date I bought and learn is that you need to bed her to make sure you stand a good chance to preserve your standings in her heart or mind. Wrong me if I learn it wronged, i am fine to accept.

Would you be very amazed of this 180 degrees turn when she has said, UR FUNNY, I LOVE TO HUG YOU, I LEAN OVER AND KISS U ON THE LIPS, TOUCHING YOU, COMPLIMENTING YOU, when u can make her feel aroused with ur hands on the lap while driving, will you step back and let the night go off. Also I need to ask was it a mistake not to insist to see her on the next day despite she is seeing her friends, because her friends has setup a single guy friend to know her, I would have come right on apot at the night, things can still change. But if I bed her, do i need to worry about the Saturday, I feel Sunday will not be the same fate... btw I just wanna have some respect for her as a human, but all I want is the expert truth, i am not guru, I just need genuine advice and guide to understand this THANKS !

It would be a mistake to insist to see her after her friends. When she says she is not free at a time, then you propose to see her immediately as soon as possible, it is projecting neediness. In addition to the SAC model in One Date, Chase has the VAC model. In that one, A is for attainability. You are too attainable (too easy) when you throw yourself at her. This makes her lose attraction.

Part of the reason is simple emotions on her part. It is overbearing and overwhelming, when women enjoy the feeling of ambiguity and having very low pressure placed on her.

Another reason is based on the concept of preselection. Your interest level should always be slightly less than hers. You should not chase her because it will show you have other women interested in you. Alek once wrote the highest value brands do not care if you threaten to not buy their product because they have so many other willing customers.

As you display signs of neediness, you are implying that you do not have other options for women. This in itself is unattractive and related to preselection again. It would be negative preselection. The opinion of another woman can be the most reliable indicator of your value. Even if she does not see the other women, the way you behave is betraying you in her eyes.

Latching on to her so much and getting angry about her noncompliance or lack of devotion and interest will tell her subconscious mind that you are desperate due to the fact that other women do not want you and are not available options to you.

So if you show outcome independence and lack of caring, even if there are not other women, you will show a confidence in your ability to let her go and find another woman. The ability to walk away from her is one of the most attractive features of your behavior to a woman. It signals that other women must like you and you have already been assessed by them as a valuable guy.

Showing her pictures of past lovers may sound like it will help with preselection, but it will not if you are making the point to show her, as someone else explained above. This comes across as bitterness. If you really could go and get hotter girls than her, you would not be mad at her. You would just go get them and not he with her. Plus it is putting her down as less than them. She wants to feel like she is the one who won you.

So, being bothered by other guys is a death sentence for her attraction to you. It shows you are worried they are better than you, regardless of whether it is true. It is about your own self esteem and confidence in her attraction towards you.

Her being responsive to your touch is a physical reaction to a pleasurable physical sensation. Note she is still put off by the neediness of you talking about future plans with her. The thing is test is the result of her complying with moving forward with you to the bedroom.

To the bedroom!

Cheers

 

[KJ Francis]

*the thing to test is her compliance with moving forward

 

[Wierdwolf]

It would be a mistake to insist to see her after her friends. When she says she is not free at a time, then you propose to see her immediately as soon as possible, it is projecting neediness. In addition to the SAC model in One Date, Chase has the VAC model. In that one, A is for attainability. You are too attainable (too easy) when you throw yourself at her. This makes her lose attraction.

Part of the reason is simple emotions on her part. It is overbearing and overwhelming, when women enjoy the feeling of ambiguity and having very low pressure placed on her.

Another reason is based on the concept of preselection. Your interest level should always be slightly less than hers. You should not chase her because it will show you have other women interested in you. Alek once wrote the highest value brands do not care if you threaten to not buy their product because they have so many other willing customers.

As you display signs of neediness, you are implying that you do not have other options for women. This in itself is unattractive and related to preselection again. It would be negative preselection. The opinion of another woman can be the most reliable indicator of your value. Even if she does not see the other women, the way you behave is betraying you in her eyes.

Latching on to her so much and getting angry about her noncompliance or lack of devotion and interest will tell her subconscious mind that you are desperate due to the fact that other women do not want you and are not available options to you.

So if you show outcome independence and lack of caring, even if there are not other women, you will show a confidence in your ability to let her go and find another woman. The ability to walk away from her is one of the most attractive features of your behavior to a woman. It signals that other women must like you and you have already been assessed by them as a valuable guy.

Showing her pictures of past lovers may sound like it will help with preselection, but it will not if you are making the point to show her, as someone else explained above. This comes across as bitterness. If you really could go and get hotter girls than her, you would not be mad at her. You would just go get them and not he with her. Plus it is putting her down as less than them. She wants to feel like she is the one who won you.

So, being bothered by other guys is a death sentence for her attraction to you. It shows you are worried they are better than you, regardless of whether it is true. It is about your own self esteem and confidence in her attraction towards you.

Her being responsive to your touch is a physical reaction to a pleasurable physical sensation. Note she is still put off by the neediness of you talking about future plans with her. The thing is test is the result of her complying with moving forward with you to the bedroom.

To the bedroom!

Cheers

Thank u for sharing me your take and it does make me reflect

Let me suggest what I should have done, once again this is for me to know the truth and not deprecating thr girl. But you have your legit views to correct me and I humbly will reflect and learn.

She actually agreed for me to meet her on Saturday after shes with her friends as we were walking during Friday, which was our first date. I decided and stupidly choose to give space and told her that I meet her on Sunday.

Also when we were in the car sending her home, how would you feel as a woman when someone rest his entire palm or hand on ur vagina area, shes wearing super short shorts which exposed much skin. You will rub her already isnt it to arouse and drive to a location thats secluded and try to get laid with her in the car. If i had nailed this, Saturday was almost going to be harmless at the puniest point. So I failed and i MISSED THE ESCALATION WINDOW ! Would you agree?

I see Chase article saying be persistent, i should have also visited her Condominium after dropping her by giving a excuse to go up for something and actually spend a 30mins quickie with her. That is why AUTO REJECTION came in on Saturday morning when I was not with her, it would have BEEN A 1ST NIGHT LOVE AT 1ST NIGHT.

Yes i agree by throwing myself at the cruise suggestion was abit foolish of me, not a good future projection thingy. I will learn to hold back all these marriage boyfriend topic.

I also agree with you I should not succumb to competition. I KNOW SHE WAS TESTING ME, but I was experimenting about my former partner to prove a point that WHO WAS SHE TO THINK SHE IS THE PRINCESS OF THIS PLANET TO HAVE THE FREEDOM AND TAKE OTHER PEOPLE SINCERITY FOR GRANTED. I use the chance to unmatch a actual planned Saturday date right in her eyes as a bait test.

So on Sunday, i ranted like a needy soul to her about the whole episode.. am I needy of her, i don't think so, its the god damn pain of losing through your fingers...

There other fishes around the world, but I will make her feel guilty of not understanding whats the root of the entire saga, even if I was needy, we are escalating fast on the 1st date, why am I lying to myself I love the feeling that other girls I dated may not be able to give that feeling. Yes i am nice, does she love to see the nicest chap become the most ruthless demon, i rather not betray myself to become one for others who did.

The best part she stays so near my former partner mother's place, this former partner is my latest OMG.

We had 2 photos, one on Friday and one on Sunday, so so different, Friday was the real person i know, Sunday she is like shit until the dishes on the table looks better than her...

So time intervention was reinforced by her friends on Sat, I was serverly hampered...

But I feel its a great meaning in life to learn this, I am grateful to this forum and you gurus who I look up to, I also still respect her as a human. I told myself I feel great fucking up this for my latest former who gave me so much great things in life, it would be better she found a man before I find a new partner.

 

[KJ Francis]

You said she was leaning over herself and kissing you in the car at the stop light? You touched her between her legs too and then didn't go up with her? Then yes this sounds like a missed escalation window.

If she was ok with you rubbing there you probably could have slipped a finger right inside of her and worked it up to get her in the back seat.

You are hilarious lol princess of the planet, nicest chap become ruthless demon, plates on the table look nicer than her... Hahaha