FR+ Time to re-think things?

[Verisimilitude]

Hey all, so I'm going to combine two nights in one just because they're pretty similar.

The first night:
It was a typical party night, but I was having trouble getting people to dance with me. My process is to dance, move them quick, deep dive, and then get their numbers and escalate and take them home. But I was nervous about asking people to dance. Eventually I saw a girl who I had talked to before and I knew she was interested. So I have no problems approaching and I go up to her and we start dancing. Because my logistics aren't great (i have to take a ten min trolley to get back to my place) I figured, screw it and went for a kiss. It wasn't the best and I really didn't like this girl, but I wanted to make out with anyone. So we make out and keep dancing but her friends eventually pull her away and I didn't care enough to try to move her. I think this is a problem of me not caring enough/not following my process.

The second night I was dancing with multiple people. I thought that a girl was interested and I wanted to move her, but she wasn't having it so I left thinking that there's no reason in going after something. I danced with a few other girls, but there wasn't much interest. I later caught a girl looking at me so I asked her to dance, although I wasn't interested in her. At this point I just wanted to make out with someone. We danced and we made out and she left. I gave her my phone number but I didn't really care.

How do you guys tell if a girl is interest in dancing with you/ does it matter?

My biggest problem now is that I'm not finding girls I truly like enough to go forward with my process. Furthermore, I don't realize I really care about a girl until I'm already in the friend zone. Kinda long, kinda frustrating, but that's what is going on with me right now.

 

[Chase]

Runner-

So we make out and keep dancing but her friends eventually pull her away and I didn't care enough to try to move her.

...

We danced and we made out and she left.

...

My biggest problem now is that I'm not finding girls I truly like enough to go forward with my process. Furthermore, I don't realize I really care about a girl until I'm already in the friend zone. Kinda long, kinda frustrating, but that's what is going on with me right now.

What's your main objective here? If it's getting comfortable with rapid escalation, you're doing well, but you'll want to move from just making out with these girls to getting your hands up their shirts and down their pants on the dance floor and getting their hands up your shirt and down your pants as well. If it's on sleeping with girls outside of a club bathroom, you'll want to stop making out with them and start moving them and getting them off the dance floor and inviting them home instead (make outs in public usually = no sex in private later).

As far as not liking girls until it's too late... yes, that's a common theme you'll see with a lot of guys. If you really want to get good with girls, I advise you get in the habit of forging on ahead regardless, so long as a girl meets your logical standards (looks, personality, etc.), and figure out later if you want some kind of relationship with her (or not). Most newer guys make the mistake of assessing girls they'll have one-night stands with by the same criteria they do girls they'd have as girlfriends, simply because they don't have much of an abundance mentality so the program running in the back of their heads is, "If I get this girl, I may be SO GLAD to finally have a girl that I'll just STICK with her, FOREVER. So... is this a girl I want to spend FOREVER with?" - which of course you can't figure out until you've known a girl for a quite a while. It's a catch-22. Sexually experienced men have very different criteria for women they're looking to hook up with than they do for women they'd accept as girlfriends. So, while I am loathe to give the advice of "lower your standards," I will say, "If she meets your logical criteria, do push on ahead with her anyway even if you aren't feeling the emotions."

Those emotions may come later; and, at least you will be building experience with girls who are most of what you want, so that when you DO run into girls who make your emotions go haywire, you'll know what to do and won't be falling all over yourself.

Better to be well-trained and ready than hopeful and idealistic and wholly unprepared when you meet the girl(s) of your dreams.

Chase

 

[Verisimilitude]

I usually try not to make out with girls on the dance floor, but when I told myself I just didn't really care about them, I threw that out the window. When do you suggest moving them? Because there is a point with dancing when it seems like that is the next step. Do I move them then? Or invite them home then?

 

[girlsfollow]

I usually try not to make out with girls on the dance floor, but when I told myself I just didn't really care about them, I threw that out the window. When do you suggest moving them? Because there is a point with dancing when it seems like that is the next step. Do I move them then? Or invite them home then?

In my experience you can usually tell how ON in is. If its really ON then go straight home but I think the average case you need to move to another bar for a drink or two before home. I've had a problem with finding the motivation with most girls too - generally most of the girls I get interest from are filtered out by my standards - especially now I have regular sex from girls I'm seeing whenever I want it. But I know this is just a numbers game - I need to go out more and find them