Tinder date

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys! Quick question....

For those of you who uses tinder or any dating app, how far are you guys willing to travel for the date? I ask because I match with people in another state, who's sometimes an hour or more from me. I drive, but i don't know if I'm willing to go that far. Any thoughts??

Thanks, TheRuralJuror

 

[Seppuku]

Hey,

You need to put all things together and decide. Even if you go all the way, then what's next? Where are you going to pull her? If you don't pull her on the first time, then how many times will you end up traveling? Is it there and back home in the same day/evening? And on the other hands, what are the options you have on a shorter distance?

I have for myself a "willingness to drive" of up to 30 minutes one way. Even that, is already quite high, if I have to go to pick her, bring her home, then later bring her back that would add up to 2 hours in the same evening. I would then try to mitigate with a taxi solution.

But that's because I know I can have options closer to home. No matter how pretty she might be, I prefer to go for girls closer to me.

Seppuku

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey!

See that's the problem. I'm pretty sure I can get her out on a date, but like I said, I googled where she's from, and it's like an hour and change from me. Now like you said, if I can't pull her the first time, worse case scenario I'd have to drive an hour to get put in a friend zone. Lol. And also, my game is non-existent as it is. So the chance of me "pulling" is next to none! As for options closer to me, I think we both know the answer to that one... but I agree, closer girls makes more sense!

 

[Seppuku]

Hey TRJ,

OK so at the beginning of your learning process, you need reference points. If you don't have closer options at hand, then you should probably go for it - at least for the learning experience.

Some things you can try:
* see if you can get her to meet you half way
* how about you book a cheap accommodation solution (hotel, motel, ...) and ask her to join you there. Have a drink / dinner at hotel restaurant then ask her to come in your room to "have a drink in a more quiet place"
* or else, set yourself an objective you want out of this date - doable but challenging enough. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

The first two options require her to invest herself into the date, it's a very nice objective in itself.

Seppuku

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey!

Alright, I'll send a text tonight to her. See if I can set something up next weekend! How would you suggest I ask? Cause we're about 2 weeks into this "courtship". So I'm running out of time I would think!

 

[Seppuku]

Yes, it's better not to wait too long.

How to ask is really about first deciding what you want to do. Are you going to drive back and forth in the same evening?

See if you can get her to invest somehow in the meeting.

Booking a cheap accommodation and asking her to meet you there would be my first option. It has worked many times for me in the past (see my latest LR, but also several times before in late 2015). There are many things playing in your favor, one of them being "the Prince from afar" fantasy shared by every girl. Plus, she is investing in it, merely by coming to meet you. And last, you have readily available logistics at hand.

In any case, I don't recommend a "fun date" (cinema, meeting friends, bowling etc...) which is not supportive of seduction. And to be avoided, the dreaded formal dinner, or otherwise formal date. It should be a low pressure date, not too noisy, not much people around, and no big deal thing.

Whatever you decide to do, be aware that, once you agreed on the details of your meeting, she is likely to test your frame by trying last minute changes to agreed deal. It is so very typical... Things including "I'm coming up with a friend" or "I have a party coming up, just join me" popping at the last minute, once you already agreed the date. It's a test. The approach is to stand firm on what was agreed initially. "No. It's a date. You and me only". If you stand firm on your frame, you earn points. If you bow to her frame, you lose many points. As always, better to lose the girl than losing the frame.

But that's jumping ahead

Keep us posted.
Seppuku

 

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey!

As for closer options, funny thing happened. I matched with a girl from my town! We started chatting, and I got to know her a bit. She seems like the "smart girl type". Which is no big deal, cause I can learn something. But the problem is, I'm not that attracted to her. But I'm still trying to get "date" experience, so I proposed we go to a museum together. She said yes, but tried to get me to go to another museum somewhere else, but I held my ground. We're still trying to work out the details, but yeah, looks like I got a "date" somewhere down the line soon. Seeing as I might have a busy week next week (work, my birthday), it may be alittle bit before I can see her. So any advice on this one? I think I'm gonna go as a friend on this one. Unless she turns out to be different from what I expect!

As for the girl that's an hour away, I haven't texted her yet, seeing that I matched with this new girl. Trying to get closer options first like you said! Then work on far options.

 

[Ambiance]

@TheRuralJuror

Saw that you were online and thought I'd check out your latest post.

With Tinder, something like 90% of your success will come from your quality of pictures. So if matching with a girl is like a weekly occurence for you, something is very wrong. You should be matching with at the very least 4-5 girls on average each time you do a series of swipes.

That said, from looking at your name I'm guessing you live out in the country? I've never lived outside of a suburb or city, but I would imagine you have drastically lower options where you live. The few times I've spent a night in a small town I noticed that the girls on Tinder were a lot less attractive too.

So while improving pictures (and the fundamentals that give you more to display) will help, moving to a more populated area is your best option if you are serious about this learning game stuff (assuming you live in a small town/in the country).

Ambiance

 

[TheRuralJuror]

@Ambiance

Yeah I have to try to get better pictures up, although I do match with my fair share of girls. Some respond some don't. Matter of a fact, the first girl I was telling Seppuku about that lives about an hour away, I texted her last night.. long story short I asked her out today for coffee next weekend, and she said " I gotta see! But that sounds cool!". I didn't respond yet. I don't wanna come across as chasing. I was going to write" oh okay. Sounds good." And leave the convo there until about Wednesday and ping her text again to see. Any thoughts on what I should do?

And to answer your question... I'm ashamed to admit, I live in one of the greatest cities in the world for game I would think...Im from NY. And have no game... smh haha.

 

[Ambiance]

@RJ

As far as that Tinder convo goes, by next weekend you mean June 9-11? Generally it isn't a good idea to set up dates way in advance, especially when it comes to Tinder. Way higher chance of a girl flaking or life getting in the way.

Hold back on any form of reward until she complies with your date request. Honestly you shouldn't invest very much in this girl unless she makes it easy for you, since she is so out of the way.

Sepukku said it first: since you are new to game you want to be grabbing whatever reference points you can get. So really however you handle this girl is going to get the gears in your head turning a bit. However, if you really do want to get good with girls, you need to be less focused on this particular girl and start meeting girls outside of Tinder. I would start with the Newbie assignment in the beginner section on the forum: it is a great intro to what this site entails.

There is a strong chance this Tinder girl doesn't go anywhere. Accept that, persist with her to find out for sure, and start meeting a lot of women. Trust me

Ambiance

 

[Seppuku]

TRJ,

I was going to write" oh okay. Sounds good." And leave the convo there until about Wednesday and ping her text again to see.

Sounds OK to me. Like Ambiance said, it is better to set the date at most 48 hours in advance... Or max 3 days. For the reasons he points out.

It's not ideal but go for it, as you need to accumulate reference points.

Seems you're not going to pull her, so set yourself an objective for the date, that will put you out of your comfort zone. Some ideas:

* Demand some investment from her: meet her half-way. Or ask her to come with a sexy outfit (skirt and heels for instance). In date, ask her to comply to your commands.
* Touch routine. Break the touch barrier within the first two minutes of meeting her. Whenever you move her between locations (e.g. from your car to the coffee shop, or moving within the coffee shop, etc...) take her by the hand and lead her. Within an hour aim to have your arm around her shoulders. By the end of the date (in the car, if you have to drive her back, for instance) aim to have your hand on her thigh, first incidentally, then deliberately. Etc... Touching this way is extremely efficient at making her horny.
* Check your own body language (not giving yourself too much away) by your body orientation, or leaning in, etc... Observe her body language for signs of excitement and signs she's into you
* Make her speak. Dive into her story. Listen to what she says. Ask questions. And keep the flow of conversation under your control (although she speaks 80pct of the time).

Pick one or two. Or other objectives that you think will challenge you.

Then go for it.
Seppuku
PS. In date, best to be seated next to her, than opposite face to face. Less confrontational, more collaborative. And best for touching.