1st date done with girl from my country - fail and i know the reasons for it
short story:
1) texting
she always responded at once to the messages and was pretty ok to agree to a date. we discussed we meet up when i came back from abroad. today i texted her something like how her weekend was and remarked something about mine and that we should have met - she agreed but pointed out she might have something urgent to do (probably to keep the option to be bailed out). i said fine as if she had to leave she had to compensate me with something.
2) date
of course she called me half an hour before the date that she had something urgent to do but as i thought that was about 2h max i just said ok no problem call me when finished. she called me and was ready to meet in 20mins. i told her to pick me up at my apartment and go somewhere together. after we arrived to the place we had a chat for about 1h or something. i mentioned i had a massage chair and she should have try it out and seemed ok with it but as she took me home the last moment she said she had to fuel her car. i kinda persisted but i felt the wrong way so we said bye (+kiss on the cheek, why did i have to do that FFS?!?!?!??!) and told her `enjoy the petrol station` for which she told me laughing `fck you`. but in the friendly way. i felt i fcked up massively.
she sent me a text thanking for the date half an hour later - i told her that we should have met soon to show me her muscles when was she free? (she goes to gym 5x a week and was dressed to the toe this time) - for which she replied something like `as friends we can`. my last text to her was according to the site`s article how to handle rejections: `OMG the world has collapsed, i dont know what to say
))` for which she sent a text ``. i wont send any more messages. im aware why i fcked it up so i take it lightly but as rejections have a devastating effect on me due to my huge ego i feel pretty bad despite i have a few other dates in the loop.
conclusions:
1. i can qualify girls with my profile. after being dissatisfied with a few profile attempts i think i found the one that works for getting matches from well-off girls going to gym regularly. posted a ranking table from a sports event as a 1st photo then the second as what i used as first - the description included my height my job to weed out waitresses/unemployed/etc my likes that included `girls` and something that points out that im looking for quality girls.
after a few chats ended up in cold leads i realized i needed to build more rapport via chat before asking them out and the number of successful date attempts increased significantly.
2. this date had a few good points and a few bad which ended up in an FU:
a) bad:
- talked too much, i felt i talked too much but couldnt help while she had THE bored looks; spoke about general stuff and not did enough deep diving - partly because of the bored looks from her partly because i wanted to (really)
- smiled too much and didnt use the bored look and only used paused sporadically (when she engaged at once), i wasnt a sexy man - something i just started to pay much more attention to
- was too funny
- didnt touch a lot
- while we talked about me dating girls i didnt manage to disqualify myself as a boyfriend candidate - not necessarily a bad point but still i think it contributed to the end
- didnt agree to meet up next when saying bye just indicated we speak via text soon and ended the whole stuff with kiss on cheeks ARGH.
- didnt persist when she said she rather went to buy fuel instead of coming of to try the massage chair
b) good:
- i overcame the first 2 shxttests easily (1) she might had something urgent to do 2) she had something urgent to do half an hour before the date
- i managed to build compliance by 1) asking her to pick me up with her car 2) pour some tea to me too in the venue 3) flex her arm to check if it was hard (it was) 4) take me home
- i managed to make her qualify A LOT re her job her workout routine her muscles & stuff
- think i managed to apply some chase framing along the way as at the end she was asking questions like `is it some layered question or what?` for which i could successfully call her out for having dirty thoughts and she was laughing hard and denying
- the friday nancy - secret garden tactics is good, that was the point when she changed, her eyes were in flames and engaged in the conversation
- i realized she was giving me LMR by deciding to go to fuel the car but i didnt address the issue properly - similar to Chase in the story with the south korean girl in an article
- despite knowing this is a major fckup i still remembered the article about how to handle rejection or hard resistance by sending her the last message
summary
all in all despite she was expecting somebody much more fit & ripped on the basis of my sports score (which is true btw) i knew i had a shot but didnt played my cards right and a big portion of it was that she had excellent game and was obviously very experienced with weeding out men not fit for her. can understand them as even i reached the point when i looking for specific types of girls and they are literally drowning in choices. pouring some whiskey and lighting a cigar now.
short story:
1) texting
she always responded at once to the messages and was pretty ok to agree to a date. we discussed we meet up when i came back from abroad. today i texted her something like how her weekend was and remarked something about mine and that we should have met - she agreed but pointed out she might have something urgent to do (probably to keep the option to be bailed out). i said fine as if she had to leave she had to compensate me with something.
2) date
of course she called me half an hour before the date that she had something urgent to do but as i thought that was about 2h max i just said ok no problem call me when finished. she called me and was ready to meet in 20mins. i told her to pick me up at my apartment and go somewhere together. after we arrived to the place we had a chat for about 1h or something. i mentioned i had a massage chair and she should have try it out and seemed ok with it but as she took me home the last moment she said she had to fuel her car. i kinda persisted but i felt the wrong way so we said bye (+kiss on the cheek, why did i have to do that FFS?!?!?!??!) and told her `enjoy the petrol station` for which she told me laughing `fck you`. but in the friendly way. i felt i fcked up massively.
she sent me a text thanking for the date half an hour later - i told her that we should have met soon to show me her muscles when was she free? (she goes to gym 5x a week and was dressed to the toe this time) - for which she replied something like `as friends we can`. my last text to her was according to the site`s article how to handle rejections: `OMG the world has collapsed, i dont know what to say
))` for which she sent a text ``. i wont send any more messages. im aware why i fcked it up so i take it lightly but as rejections have a devastating effect on me due to my huge ego i feel pretty bad despite i have a few other dates in the loop.conclusions:
1. i can qualify girls with my profile. after being dissatisfied with a few profile attempts i think i found the one that works for getting matches from well-off girls going to gym regularly. posted a ranking table from a sports event as a 1st photo then the second as what i used as first - the description included my height my job to weed out waitresses/unemployed/etc my likes that included `girls` and something that points out that im looking for quality girls.
after a few chats ended up in cold leads i realized i needed to build more rapport via chat before asking them out and the number of successful date attempts increased significantly.
2. this date had a few good points and a few bad which ended up in an FU:
a) bad:
- talked too much, i felt i talked too much but couldnt help while she had THE bored looks; spoke about general stuff and not did enough deep diving - partly because of the bored looks from her partly because i wanted to (really)
- smiled too much and didnt use the bored look and only used paused sporadically (when she engaged at once), i wasnt a sexy man - something i just started to pay much more attention to
- was too funny
- didnt touch a lot
- while we talked about me dating girls i didnt manage to disqualify myself as a boyfriend candidate - not necessarily a bad point but still i think it contributed to the end
- didnt agree to meet up next when saying bye just indicated we speak via text soon and ended the whole stuff with kiss on cheeks ARGH.
- didnt persist when she said she rather went to buy fuel instead of coming of to try the massage chair
b) good:
- i overcame the first 2 shxttests easily (1) she might had something urgent to do 2) she had something urgent to do half an hour before the date
- i managed to build compliance by 1) asking her to pick me up with her car 2) pour some tea to me too in the venue 3) flex her arm to check if it was hard (it was) 4) take me home
- i managed to make her qualify A LOT re her job her workout routine her muscles & stuff
- think i managed to apply some chase framing along the way as at the end she was asking questions like `is it some layered question or what?
` for which i could successfully call her out for having dirty thoughts and she was laughing hard and denying- the friday nancy - secret garden tactics is good, that was the point when she changed, her eyes were in flames and engaged in the conversation
- i realized she was giving me LMR by deciding to go to fuel the car but i didnt address the issue properly - similar to Chase in the story with the south korean girl in an article
- despite knowing this is a major fckup i still remembered the article about how to handle rejection or hard resistance by sending her the last message
summary
all in all despite she was expecting somebody much more fit & ripped on the basis of my sports score (which is true btw) i knew i had a shot but didnt played my cards right and a big portion of it was that she had excellent game and was obviously very experienced with weeding out men not fit for her. can understand them as even i reached the point when i looking for specific types of girls and they are literally drowning in choices. pouring some whiskey and lighting a cigar now.
