To Chase and all the other moderators on the forum, on what base do you ban people?

[kristian]

Since I wrote my first post here around 2015/2016, I've witnessed some of the members being banned, with Drck as one of the more notable members.
All of the bans that I've seen have had a warning or two involved, before Chase, Franco or the other moderators give a reason for the ban each time it happens.

That's why I'm a little surprised when my Swedish friend, Alcman got banned in December without any warning or a legit reason. He's been quite upset about it, since he has written and contributed a lot here and got all of his journal removed. He's also been contacting you for an answer or a way to get his journal posts sent to him since these are very valuable for us in order to track our progress and works as a diary. So far he hasn't got any answers.

If I, personally, write something that is against the forum's policy, and I get a warning or an explanation of why I'm banned, then I'll understand. But when people get kicked out without any given reason, alarm bells start to ring. Many of us will be a little more hesitant to write freely about topics because we will be afraid that our opinions will be censored.

I've always viewed these forums as a great way for guys, who are passionate about the social arts, to share ideas, techniques, and mindsets - without being afraid of being scolded or shamed for it- especially in the political climate we're in now. GC has given us a lot of headroom top speak up - as long as the topics are relevant and aren't spreading hate and bitterness.

However, this incident is worrying me a little. I hope to get an answer from you guys about this topic. Has GC become a lot more strict in their censorship and banning? And will we be able to “fuck up” get a warning and be able to conform to its policy instead of being banned without any reason?

 

[Grand Pooba]

Hi Kristian,

Alcman was banned because his posts described seducing women who were clearly underage, as in girls whom he describes as being 14 or 15 years old. This is not something we condone at GC and our policy is quite strict about this situation.

We understand that the boards are meant for free speech; there are also limits that apply, and we do not condone posts that veer into a criminal territory. As you are probably aware we live in a hypersensitive culture, and cannot afford to have users and the entire website reported for allowing such things.

We’re reviewing the rest of your post and will have full response issued shortly.

 

[Carousel]

He also had a sexualized profile pic of a girl that was 10 or 12 years old from the estimates of two moderators.

 

[Teevster]

Explanation was also given during the ban. The initial reason was having a sexualized pic of an underaged girl as a profile pic.

 

[Mike Silvertree]

It seems odd to me that this needs explaining, but apparently it does.

It a crime for adults to engage in sexual activity with people who are not adults. This is true in every country I have ever heard of, with the only variance being the age of consent, which is 18 years old in the majority of countries. It is also a crime to publish, and in many countries even possess, movies, pictures, prose, or poetry that sexualizes under age people.

Therefore, doing any of the above on this site is totally outlawed and will get your membership revoked.

This site is dedicated to helping adult men get better at seducing and having relationships with adult women.

Pedophilia in all its forms and variants is outlawed.

 

[Chase]

@kristian,

Alcman started talking about how he was resigning himself to being an "ephebophiliac" (his words) in August. He mentioned that he really just only seemed to attract or get along with middle teenaged girls (note that he is an adult, not a teen). And said that was who he'd progressively aim more and more for.

We didn't catch it before because Franco and I had both been on the Boards less and weren't moderating as effectively. Part of the reason we grew the mod team was to compensate for that. That way we could catch stuff we should be catching.

I don't really care about a guy shagging a 17-year-old chick here and there, assuming it's legal where he is, and the girl herself is mature. And the guys I've known who've done so, they're pretty much all more or less immature guys themselves, so... the personalities tend to match.

But even among the guys I've known who've gone that route, they do not TARGET teenage women. Often they are pretty weirded out to find out the girl they've been shagging is XYZ age. And they know better than to talk about it publicly (even if in a more-or-less anonymous forum like this one). They certainly don't use eerie words ending in "-philiac."

Keep in mind: we want guys to be able to talk freely about dating stuff online here. However, to do that, we also have to be able to STAY online.

I know how to defend seduction if I need to.

I do not really know how to defend seducing middle teenaged girls. Nor do I want to defend it, nor care to be the champion for that cause. As the forum owner, I am ultimately in a position where I either need to be able to go to bat for guys posting on the forum, or I need to be prepared to disavow them. Personally, I am not going to go to bat for a guy who is going to run around talking about doing that. Nor can I let him run around posting that kind of thing here, making it easy for people who want to paint us in a bad light to say "Look, here's a forum that allows guys to talk about seducing 16 y/o girls as an adult!"

If it was something where I thought we could warn him and that would work, we'd have done that. But something like this, the only thing a warning is going to do is make him go stealth with it. He will still be posting LRs, they just won't list the age anymore. And then anyone willing to do enough digging is potentially still going to be able to say "the mods knew this guy was targeting middle teenagers and let him continue to post there so long as he did not mention age."

We also don't have a way to know if his interest stops at middle teenagers. I assume it probably does, and he's telling the truth, but some of the mods wondered if he might not like girls even younger and simply not have shared that part.

I'd like to say: I think Alcman is a young guy (was he 23? I forget now), and he probably just realized he likes women who are a little (but not super) younger than he is. Which is actually pretty normal. My grandfather was 30 years old when he married my grandmother, who was 20. I think Alcman probably did not realize he was making himself sound like a weirdo when he adopted the ephebophiliac title. Odds are he is just a normal awkward 20-something male making the kind of dumb mistakes guys make in their teens and early 20s. I did and said a lot of stupid cringe-worthy stuff when I was in my early 20s. Most guys do.

Unfortunately it is not something where we are able to chance it. A lot of banning decisions come down to "This guy is a difficult case, and maybe he could improve, with a ton of time, and care by the mods, and attention. And we'd have to keep an eye on him, and check, and re-check" but we just don't have the resources for that. He might well have been fine, just going through a phase, using a weird term and thinking it was funny, or whatever. But we aren't able to assign him a guy to keep tabs on everything he posts and make sure that's the case, and it isn't the other thing.

I wish we could assign a personal mod to every difficult case, and just watch the guy like a hawk, guide him, and make sure he's on the straight-and-narrow path. But it's a free forum, not a paid one; the guys who do it are volunteers; and most of the decisions come down to "Maybe we like this guy personally, or don't have any problems with him, but this stuff he's doing we just cannot permit."

That is unfortunately the way it is with a public forum like this.

Chase