Hey guys, Garrett here.
So while casually browsing through some of the topics on the board, I came across something that I thought others could benefit from if brought to conscious attention. Like a lot of the posts on Girls Chase, I figured bringing something into awareness could perhaps allow guys to gain more control of their own lives.
Picture this, you're running through your phone and as you glance through the names, there's a few girls that spark your interest. Then you think to yourself, "Hmm... I'm not too thrilled about her, but I enjoy spending time with her every now and then." Okay, maybe you don't really think about it that much, but what I'd like to discuss today is the idea of prospects.
Not to single anyone out, but something that sparked my interest was that people seem to think it's better to date a girl than to be single... Interesting concept. Do you meet up with the girl you aren't crazy about and eventually date her, or find comfort in being on your own and advancing your own personal goals/dreams? Maybe that's a tad biased, but if you're one of these guys, let's break things down into a cost benefit analysis or in other words, a pros and cons list. Feel free to add any additional points if you have any!
Pros
- Someone to spend time with if you haven't got other prospects
- Kills off the needy vibe so when you approach other girls, you won't care as much if it flops
- She can act as a support system, especially if you have no one else around
- Gives you something to do/an escape
- You can collect valuable data points
- It potentially forces you to meet new women if things don't workout because once you're done with them, you have no choice but to restock
Cons
- If you don't handle things appropriately you will lead her on and hurt her
- If you spend too much time with her while dating, you will automatically pass the commitment point
- It's an excuse to not go meet new women
- What's the point if you are't really feeling her?
- Takes away from time that you can be using to improve yourself with other women
- You're basically using her as a platform to boost your confidence
I'm sure there are many more points and this could even be made into a blog post. I just covered some of the more obvious points that I feel one would experience if they were to pursue a girl they weren't particularly keen on. The thing is guys, you have to remember that if you continue to do something day in and day out, it'll eventually become habitual. I understand that a lot of guys may have issues with logistics, me being one of them. I'm 19, live at home with my parents, live in a small town (90,000), all there is is a mall/theatre, and I know a lot of the girls already, I'm studying premed so I dont' have much time to go out, etc.. It's a bit unfortunate, especially if you're like me dying to start the newbie assignment. Once summer hits I'm going to go out, not make excuses, and find some decent spots in some nearby towns/cities. How does this relate? Well if you're like me, then your circumstances aren't optimal for meeting girls, and if you're new to pickup and don't have time for it at the moment due to other goals, you may want to fallback on prospects to improve your understanding with women. Also, society tends to make people feel that it's not okay to be single, and that there is something wrong with us. It's true, that if you've been single for a while, a girl is likely going to assume that something is wrong with you, and that you aren't a quality mate. Fair enough, but it's also important to grow comfortable with the idea of being single, especially if you don't want to be reaching any commitment points anytime soon....
I don't know how to describe this, but lately I've just been feeling really great. Even if a girl has a rockin body and a half decent personality, it's just too much work to try anything with her, so I don't bother. It depends where you're at, because before I used to feel pretty needy. I brokeup with my girlfriend in September after realizing she wasn't doing anything to benefit me. Ever since then, I've been single, have had a makeout session here and there with girls, but nothing over the top. Whenever a half decent girl with a tolerable personality rolled around, I would take advantage of the opportunity. I did gain some great data points, but at the same time, I'd be losing girls due to my needy vibe and would put her on a pedestal *forehead smack*. Here's the thing, most of these prospects bored me because I'd be thinking, "Wow, I just wasted so much time I could be using to study or improve myself. Therefore, I'm going to drop this girl home, I don't have time for this." On the other hand, I really did benefit quite a bit from these opportunities. If I had not taken initiative to meet these girls and try things with them, I would still be engaged in text convos with girls, I'd be getting limited results, and I wouldn't be where I am today. Even though I was religiously reading Girls Chase, my skepticism oftentimes got the better of me, and the concepts from the blog didn't hit home until I made the same mistakes over and over and finally realized why they don't work. I'd talk to girls about sex via facebook chat, I used to text girls day and night, all of which was getting me some great reactions, but not results! Consequently, by spending some time on these girls, it's ultimately saved me a lot of time in the end and you may want to consider learning the hard way if you aren't implementing what Chase says due to skepticism.
***Note, that if you plan to pursue a prospect, make sure you are at least somewhat interested in her, because if you have no interest in a girl even if she's hot with a decent personality, dont' bother. Spend time on girls you're attracted to, there's no point trying on girls who you don't feel much interest in, so don't waste your valuable time with them!
I wouldn't count an Ex as a prospect. As Chase mentions, there's a reason why the 2 of you aren't together anymore, so why go back? If you have girls who you've screwed up with by say, texting too much, looked a bit too needy, I say have a go at them. If you eliminate all of your prospects, you'll eventually have to force yourself to go and meet new women, so keeping girls on the back burner is good as you'll feel you have options, but if you've only met these girls through friends and social circle, and not via cold approach or through a tactic you've been putting off implementing, then bring yourself to scarcity so you force yourself to go meet women the hard way!
Anyways, just some thoughts, if you'd like to comment, I'd enjoy hearing feedback!
Garrett
So while casually browsing through some of the topics on the board, I came across something that I thought others could benefit from if brought to conscious attention. Like a lot of the posts on Girls Chase, I figured bringing something into awareness could perhaps allow guys to gain more control of their own lives.
Picture this, you're running through your phone and as you glance through the names, there's a few girls that spark your interest. Then you think to yourself, "Hmm... I'm not too thrilled about her, but I enjoy spending time with her every now and then." Okay, maybe you don't really think about it that much, but what I'd like to discuss today is the idea of prospects.
Not to single anyone out, but something that sparked my interest was that people seem to think it's better to date a girl than to be single... Interesting concept. Do you meet up with the girl you aren't crazy about and eventually date her, or find comfort in being on your own and advancing your own personal goals/dreams? Maybe that's a tad biased, but if you're one of these guys, let's break things down into a cost benefit analysis or in other words, a pros and cons list. Feel free to add any additional points if you have any!
Pros
- Someone to spend time with if you haven't got other prospects
- Kills off the needy vibe so when you approach other girls, you won't care as much if it flops
- She can act as a support system, especially if you have no one else around
- Gives you something to do/an escape
- You can collect valuable data points
- It potentially forces you to meet new women if things don't workout because once you're done with them, you have no choice but to restock
Cons
- If you don't handle things appropriately you will lead her on and hurt her
- If you spend too much time with her while dating, you will automatically pass the commitment point
- It's an excuse to not go meet new women
- What's the point if you are't really feeling her?
- Takes away from time that you can be using to improve yourself with other women
- You're basically using her as a platform to boost your confidence
I'm sure there are many more points and this could even be made into a blog post. I just covered some of the more obvious points that I feel one would experience if they were to pursue a girl they weren't particularly keen on. The thing is guys, you have to remember that if you continue to do something day in and day out, it'll eventually become habitual. I understand that a lot of guys may have issues with logistics, me being one of them. I'm 19, live at home with my parents, live in a small town (90,000), all there is is a mall/theatre, and I know a lot of the girls already, I'm studying premed so I dont' have much time to go out, etc.. It's a bit unfortunate, especially if you're like me dying to start the newbie assignment. Once summer hits I'm going to go out, not make excuses, and find some decent spots in some nearby towns/cities. How does this relate? Well if you're like me, then your circumstances aren't optimal for meeting girls, and if you're new to pickup and don't have time for it at the moment due to other goals, you may want to fallback on prospects to improve your understanding with women. Also, society tends to make people feel that it's not okay to be single, and that there is something wrong with us. It's true, that if you've been single for a while, a girl is likely going to assume that something is wrong with you, and that you aren't a quality mate. Fair enough, but it's also important to grow comfortable with the idea of being single, especially if you don't want to be reaching any commitment points anytime soon...
.I don't know how to describe this, but lately I've just been feeling really great. Even if a girl has a rockin body and a half decent personality, it's just too much work to try anything with her, so I don't bother. It depends where you're at, because before I used to feel pretty needy. I brokeup with my girlfriend in September after realizing she wasn't doing anything to benefit me. Ever since then, I've been single, have had a makeout session here and there with girls, but nothing over the top. Whenever a half decent girl with a tolerable personality rolled around, I would take advantage of the opportunity. I did gain some great data points, but at the same time, I'd be losing girls due to my needy vibe and would put her on a pedestal *forehead smack*. Here's the thing, most of these prospects bored me because I'd be thinking, "Wow, I just wasted so much time I could be using to study or improve myself. Therefore, I'm going to drop this girl home, I don't have time for this." On the other hand, I really did benefit quite a bit from these opportunities. If I had not taken initiative to meet these girls and try things with them, I would still be engaged in text convos with girls, I'd be getting limited results, and I wouldn't be where I am today. Even though I was religiously reading Girls Chase, my skepticism oftentimes got the better of me, and the concepts from the blog didn't hit home until I made the same mistakes over and over and finally realized why they don't work. I'd talk to girls about sex via facebook chat, I used to text girls day and night, all of which was getting me some great reactions, but not results! Consequently, by spending some time on these girls, it's ultimately saved me a lot of time in the end and you may want to consider learning the hard way if you aren't implementing what Chase says due to skepticism.
***Note, that if you plan to pursue a prospect, make sure you are at least somewhat interested in her, because if you have no interest in a girl even if she's hot with a decent personality, dont' bother. Spend time on girls you're attracted to, there's no point trying on girls who you don't feel much interest in, so don't waste your valuable time with them!
I wouldn't count an Ex as a prospect. As Chase mentions, there's a reason why the 2 of you aren't together anymore, so why go back? If you have girls who you've screwed up with by say, texting too much, looked a bit too needy, I say have a go at them. If you eliminate all of your prospects, you'll eventually have to force yourself to go and meet new women, so keeping girls on the back burner is good as you'll feel you have options, but if you've only met these girls through friends and social circle, and not via cold approach or through a tactic you've been putting off implementing, then bring yourself to scarcity so you force yourself to go meet women the hard way!
Anyways, just some thoughts, if you'd like to comment, I'd enjoy hearing feedback!
Garrett
