- Joined
- Jul 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,490
Hello gentlemen,
I like to file a field report on interactions that are in some way interesting or different. This one qualifies, I think, because of the unusual attitude of the girl. I feel sure that some of you who are more experienced with women will have encountered this in the past, and can let me know your views.
There is a major technical university in our city, and on one part of its campus there is a little "hi-tech hub" with lots of startup company offices dealing with all the latest business fads such as social media and the like. I like going there sometimes after I eat lunch in my office. It's a good place to meet girls; not only is it full of undergraduates but there are plenty of bright young things in the hi-tech world just getting settled in their careers. In this instance, I met one of the latter. I am going to call her TokenResistance, in recognition of her attitude ;-)
She was sitting on a bench in a busy street that is shaded by tall trees, poking around on her iPhone. This activity did not give off a businesslike image, but more of a distracted, restless appearance. She had rich chestnut hair pleated into a thick braid over one shoulder, very modern and with-it looking, as you'd expect from my description of this district. Her make-up was applied with exceeding care... visibly curled eyelashes, foundation, a rich, striking lipstick color, the works. I noted with approval that there was space for two on the bench
I walked past fairly close; she didn't even look up from her phone. I like to get a bit of eye contact going ahead of time as it makes the opening easier, but sometimes you just have to do without. I paused when I reached the street corner, turned back and tried another pass. Same result.
I took up position about 20 feet away on the curb, making as if to cross the street, and glanced back. At last she had quit staring at her phone and was looking around uncertainly. I ambled back and engaged her in conversation.
Marty: If you're not too busy, do you mind if I take this seat? (Thanks again to Zphix for this opener, which I love and have used to good effect a handful of times now.)
Girl: Sure, sit down! (Smiles. Resumes typing on her phone screen. I'm having none of it.)
Marty: (Sits) I wanted to tell you that you have lovely hair.
Girl: What?? (Looking at me with a bemused expression. I have her full attention now.)
Marty: Your hair... I really like it. The way you style it, too. It looks beautiful. What's your name?
Girl: I'm TokenResistance.
Marty: (Warm smile) Hi, TokenResistance, it's nice to meet you. (Pause, extend hand) I'm Marty.
TokenResistance: (Takes my hand) Nice to meet you too.
Marty: Are you married?
TokenResistance: No.
I go into the usual spiel. She's obviously taking a break from work, so I ask her about that. She's been 3 months in her job, straight out of university. I ask about her recently completed studies, her interests and hobbies, her creative side, where she's from, where she's traveled or wants to travel, where she lives now she's flown the nest, how she's settling into business life. Badly, apparently. She dislikes the sudden lack of freedom, the predictable, time-consuming schedule. I empathize and point out that I am not exactly a hard worker myself; at that point she asks me where I work. It's a relaxed, slow-paced, easy conversation with lots of pauses; seemingly appropriate to the warm, still autumn day. The whole interaction lasts about 10 minutes. She is lightly chatty but nice and calm in terms of energy level.
Now here's the odd thing. As soon as I get the conversation going a bit, she shows a fair amount of compliance. She's answering all the questions, elaborating, talking about herself and her character, talking about her preferences and her concerns. At the same time, she's doing it with a kind of bored, "too-cool-for-school" expression, like it's all a big joke. She's looking me in the eye and agreeing with most of what I say, yet she seems to be putting on a show of superior unconcern.
I say "a show" because her body language gives no hint of awkwardness or discomfort, quite the opposite, it's like she's totally at ease and laid back, as if she gets guys coming up to her trying to make conversation most days of the week. It's a real weird attitude: there's a kind of sparkle in her eye that she knows exactly what I'm at, yet at the same time she is totally cool with it and unflustered.
Occasionally I have run into something similar with what appears to be a really sexually experienced girl, but in that case she starts off by testing me real hard. There was none of that here. She went along with the way I wanted to play things with an air of complete relaxation, but not at all distracted, she gave me her full attention and participated actively in the conversation.
At the close I was 90% sure that she'd verbally agree to a date. Sure enough, she said yes, and I handed her my phone into which she put the number plus her first and last name... a nice touch. We kept talking for a couple more minutes and I was about to go when a young man showed up, close to her age, and said hello to her... presumably a colleague. They started talking about something. I decided to make my exit and we smiled at each other, I took her hand, and we said goodbye. Normally I'd have pulled her in for a cheek-kiss but I didn't want to do that in front of the guy.
So... I'll pursue this one, although I'm not too hopeful. What's with the nonchalant attitude? Have you seen this before and is there anything specific I should be doing to play along with it? Should I call her tomorrow to chat further, or just text to set up the date right away?
Thanks!
-Marty
I like to file a field report on interactions that are in some way interesting or different. This one qualifies, I think, because of the unusual attitude of the girl. I feel sure that some of you who are more experienced with women will have encountered this in the past, and can let me know your views.
There is a major technical university in our city, and on one part of its campus there is a little "hi-tech hub" with lots of startup company offices dealing with all the latest business fads such as social media and the like. I like going there sometimes after I eat lunch in my office. It's a good place to meet girls; not only is it full of undergraduates but there are plenty of bright young things in the hi-tech world just getting settled in their careers. In this instance, I met one of the latter. I am going to call her TokenResistance, in recognition of her attitude ;-)
She was sitting on a bench in a busy street that is shaded by tall trees, poking around on her iPhone. This activity did not give off a businesslike image, but more of a distracted, restless appearance. She had rich chestnut hair pleated into a thick braid over one shoulder, very modern and with-it looking, as you'd expect from my description of this district. Her make-up was applied with exceeding care... visibly curled eyelashes, foundation, a rich, striking lipstick color, the works. I noted with approval that there was space for two on the bench
I walked past fairly close; she didn't even look up from her phone. I like to get a bit of eye contact going ahead of time as it makes the opening easier, but sometimes you just have to do without. I paused when I reached the street corner, turned back and tried another pass. Same result.
I took up position about 20 feet away on the curb, making as if to cross the street, and glanced back. At last she had quit staring at her phone and was looking around uncertainly. I ambled back and engaged her in conversation.
Marty: If you're not too busy, do you mind if I take this seat? (Thanks again to Zphix for this opener, which I love and have used to good effect a handful of times now.)
Girl: Sure, sit down! (Smiles. Resumes typing on her phone screen. I'm having none of it.)
Marty: (Sits) I wanted to tell you that you have lovely hair.
Girl: What?? (Looking at me with a bemused expression. I have her full attention now.)
Marty: Your hair... I really like it. The way you style it, too. It looks beautiful. What's your name?
Girl: I'm TokenResistance.
Marty: (Warm smile) Hi, TokenResistance, it's nice to meet you. (Pause, extend hand) I'm Marty.
TokenResistance: (Takes my hand) Nice to meet you too.
Marty: Are you married?
TokenResistance: No.
I go into the usual spiel. She's obviously taking a break from work, so I ask her about that. She's been 3 months in her job, straight out of university. I ask about her recently completed studies, her interests and hobbies, her creative side, where she's from, where she's traveled or wants to travel, where she lives now she's flown the nest, how she's settling into business life. Badly, apparently. She dislikes the sudden lack of freedom, the predictable, time-consuming schedule. I empathize and point out that I am not exactly a hard worker myself; at that point she asks me where I work. It's a relaxed, slow-paced, easy conversation with lots of pauses; seemingly appropriate to the warm, still autumn day. The whole interaction lasts about 10 minutes. She is lightly chatty but nice and calm in terms of energy level.
Now here's the odd thing. As soon as I get the conversation going a bit, she shows a fair amount of compliance. She's answering all the questions, elaborating, talking about herself and her character, talking about her preferences and her concerns. At the same time, she's doing it with a kind of bored, "too-cool-for-school" expression, like it's all a big joke. She's looking me in the eye and agreeing with most of what I say, yet she seems to be putting on a show of superior unconcern.
I say "a show" because her body language gives no hint of awkwardness or discomfort, quite the opposite, it's like she's totally at ease and laid back, as if she gets guys coming up to her trying to make conversation most days of the week. It's a real weird attitude: there's a kind of sparkle in her eye that she knows exactly what I'm at, yet at the same time she is totally cool with it and unflustered.
Occasionally I have run into something similar with what appears to be a really sexually experienced girl, but in that case she starts off by testing me real hard. There was none of that here. She went along with the way I wanted to play things with an air of complete relaxation, but not at all distracted, she gave me her full attention and participated actively in the conversation.
At the close I was 90% sure that she'd verbally agree to a date. Sure enough, she said yes, and I handed her my phone into which she put the number plus her first and last name... a nice touch. We kept talking for a couple more minutes and I was about to go when a young man showed up, close to her age, and said hello to her... presumably a colleague. They started talking about something. I decided to make my exit and we smiled at each other, I took her hand, and we said goodbye. Normally I'd have pulled her in for a cheek-kiss but I didn't want to do that in front of the guy.
So... I'll pursue this one, although I'm not too hopeful. What's with the nonchalant attitude? Have you seen this before and is there anything specific I should be doing to play along with it? Should I call her tomorrow to chat further, or just text to set up the date right away?
Thanks!
-Marty
