FU Too much bf vibe?

[Higher]

I think i really need to dial down the bf vibes i give and dial up the fuckboy ones. I just lost a gorgeous brunette because of this (i suspect).

I see her as shes seated, having a lone wolf moment on her phone. I sit not too far from her. She glances me a few times, and i approach.

Chemistry is good. She seems she went thru some rough patches in life, so i deep dive her quite a bit. She just moved to this city.

Time flies as we conversate about life, psychology, relationships. Overall we spend 3h together -- probably too much. We walk while our arms brush together. I also touch her a few times and i keep a playful vibe while also connecting with her on those deep topics.

I think its going great. At some point she asks me about my previous relationships. She also asks me how long im staying here. I tell her, im here for at least a week, but my contract will probably get extended another month.

Not too long afterwards she starts taking her distance and she tells me that she has to go "meet some friends". I tell her, id love to see you again. Shes like, maybe. We exchange numbers anyway but im pretty convinced this is dead. Pretty painful ofc -- i really liked this girl a lot.

I suspect she was seeing of me as a bf candidate, and she couldnt accept the fact that im not gonna be in this city forever.

To try next time (maybe):
- careful when talking about past relationships
- dial down the deep dives; be even more playful
- invite her to my place 10 mins in the convo; like hey, im gonna be honest with you: youre cute, youre cool, i love your energy; what if i invited you to my place right now? I remember seeing a couple posts by Hector and Seppuku suggesting this in some situations -- ill link them when i find them

 

[Higher]

So we have been texting a bit in the last 24h. Lets call her Laura. Here the texts (hers are italic):

Spoiler

[1/28, 14:06] Hola
[1/28, 14:10] Cool to meet u Laura Enki
[1/28, 17:48] Hiii yes! It’s was nice
[1/28, 18:18] I hope see you again (she got me here, i thought she meant it)
[1/28, 18:23] I hope too ure sweet
[1/28, 18:23] When i first met u, u seemed to be hurt and licking ur wounds
Thats the impression i had
But then u opened up a bit that was nice to see
[1/28, 18:27] Maybe, or maybe I'm a little scared with my new life here
[1/28, 18:28] Or maybe it's too difficult for me to talk about such deep things in English
[1/28, 18:49] I know
If we see each other again, lets be more lighthearted
[1/28, 18:49]
[1/28, 18:50] Yes, you met me at a strange moment
[1/28, 18:51] Yeah, but then i worked my magic and u were happy again
[1/28, 18:52] Actually im happy
[1/28, 18:52] Yes i know, im joking
[1/28, 18:52] Hows ur evening? Hanging out with ur friends?
[1/28, 19:09] I just came back from the park
[1/28, 19:09] We went to drink mate
[1/28, 19:09] Do you know mate?
[1/28, 19:09]
[1/28, 19:13] And what about you?
[1/28, 20:09] I slept a bit and im still on my bed, my foot still hurts a bit
[1/28, 20:09] Too bad being here and not living la vida loca
[1/28, 20:12] What a pity
[1/29, 09:29] Hola Lauraaa
Que tal guapa?
[1/29, 11:10] Hola buen día!
[1/29, 11:11] Todo bien y vos?
[1/29, 11:43] No bueno bella
[1/29, 11:44] My company wants me back asap
I was hoping to be here a week or more
[1/29, 11:44] Ouch
[1/29, 11:45] Why?
[1/29, 11:45] If you’ve just arrived
[1/29, 11:46] Yeah it doesnt make any sense
[1/29, 11:46] They want me to visit another client in X
[1/29, 11:46] Dunno why they cannot send someone else
[1/29, 11:47] Haha well
[1/29, 11:48]
[1/29, 11:48] They decide..
[1/29, 11:56] Id love to see u again before i leave
[1/29, 11:56] When are you leaving?
[1/29, 12:05] Officially tomorrow
I can maybe extend one more day, but not sure
[1/29, 12:17] It’s ok!
[1/29, 12:17] Maybe we can do something today
[1/29, 12:27] Id love that te escribe mas tarde bella
[1/29, 12:28] Okii (here she got me again, i thought she was really down)
[1/29, 15:43] Q haces?
[1/29, 15:46] (she sends a pic of herself) Haha
[1/29, 15:46] Pero ya en un rato me voy a ver un piso para alquilar (plausible, she mentioned it earlier)
[1/29, 15:47] Ok yo tengo un meeting hasta las 5
[1/29, 15:48] Yo tengo una a las 6 también (smelled like bs)
[1/29, 15:48] Ok quando eres libre?
[1/29, 15:49] Creo que a las 19 aprox
[1/29, 15:49] O ahora hasta las 18
[1/29, 15:51] Lets do at 19 then
[1/29, 15:51] Okiii
[1/29, 15:51] Not comfortable to work from this room
[1/29, 15:51] Why?
[1/29, 15:51] To small?
[1/29, 15:51] Yes
[1/29, 15:52] Only for today
[1/29, 19:08] Que tal bella? U at home?
[1/29, 19:10] Hey, yes
[1/29, 19:10] You?
[1/29, 19:10] Im near X
[1/29, 19:11] Wanna sit somewhere and chat?
[1/29, 19:12] (she lives far from X)
[1/29, 19:12] I have to see a flat at 2030, near here (lol sure)
[1/29, 19:14] It will only take me 20 minutes
[1/29, 19:14] Yes (to my "wanna sit somewhere and chat?", and she got me again)
[1/29, 19:21] Ok Laura
Ping me later, hopefully i wont be sleeping
[1/29, 19:24] If you want you can come now
[1/29, 19:26] and you wait for me 20 minutes then (just lol, i shoulda stopped responding here, but i still believed)
[1/29, 19:45] What area is the flat youre gonna visit?
[1/29, 19:47] Near home
[1/29, 19:49] Where are you now?
[1/29, 19:51] Im near X
[1/29, 20:03] Well
[1/29, 20:04] It’s far from here
[1/29, 20:05] To far (here i spent 3 mins thinking about what to say to this)
[1/29, 20:08] We could catch up at the Y, theres a metro train that goes from my area to there (horrible text of mine; too eager; i knew it was long dead already, but i wanted to give it one last shot)
[1/29, 20:09] Mmm
[1/29, 20:10] I will be free at 9 p.m.
[1/29, 20:11] And then I should have dinner
[1/29, 20:12] Maybe it's better another time, sorry
[1/29, 20:12] When you return here
[1/29, 20:12] I dunno Laura
[1/29, 20:13]

I was probably too eager, and the in-person interaction ended up with her basically retreating, so im not too surprised that this went down in flames. She got me a couple times tho.

Not the only mistakes that i made, cause i also had 2 other hot dates lined up that seemed way more into me, and i fucked them up for this one. Oh well. Choices.

Curious to hear @Skills and @TomInHo take on this.