Training yourself to change.

[Estate]

Hey guys,
Here's todays' burning question

Can anyone share any knowledge on training yourself to be fundamentally a different person. Obviously I'm talking here about ingraining a lot of the things taught on this site... being sexy, being attractive, having confidence, approaching those women!

So I learned something as a teenager... I can do anything. That's not bull... I realized in school I could be good at anything I wanted to be good at. But I had to do two things. Find an outlet where I can get all the information I need to learn something, then apply as much of my time as I could to it... and it can't fail. How could it? Anything can be learned if you get the right info and spend enough time ingraining it.
And Chase has articles which say some stuff along these lines too.

When I learned to play guitar a few years ago...
Every chord change I had to stop and work how to change my fingers into the next one... but I just kept playing until I could strum any song without even looking at my hands and then progressed from there.
I just needed to learn what the chords were... and do it over and over until it became subconscious.

So here is where I am at with pickup:
I have all the knowledge. I have studied and read. I have gotten out there and made changes, and I've seen lots of results.

But I feel like I'm still at that stage where I'm still having to stop between each chord on the guitar and think how to move to the next one... weird analogy right?
What I mean is... I have to think about it. I have to consciously tell myself to go meet that girl, think what my approach will be, how I'm going to approach things.
That is progress.... once upon a time I'd freeze and probably run home witht he stress of even thinking about talking to a girl.

But it's not ingrained yet. I want to be this confident, sexy, get what I want sort of guy but I am still telling myself to do it, not just subconsiously doing it.

How do I get this ingrained in my personality?

 

[Franco]

Hey Estate,

I've had a few beers and am going out with a few buddies tonight, but that also puts me in a chatty mood, so I think I can help ya out before I leave.

Chase mentions in one of his articles that "learning to succeed with women may be one of the most challenging things that you will ever have to do." And he is right. More than any other skill that you will acquire, learning to become a true casanova with women will probably require the most amount of time and effort you have ever expended toward one skill in your entire life. And even when you become a casanova, there will still be plenty more to learn. This is simply because you are interacting with people and personalities, so the challenges presented to you will constantly be changing -- every interaction you have with a girl will be different in one form or another, whether it's her body language, her words, your body language, your words, or simply how far you progress with her into the interaction.

With that in mind, my answer to your question is to simply keep exposing yourself to women and practicing your ability to provide them with the experience that they desire. Unlike guitar, or any instrument for that matter, there will probably be no point where you just "have" it. If you were to truly ask Chase where he is with women, he would probably answer that there is still room for improvement and room to learn even more. That is how I feel about where I am at, and that is probably how I will always feel about it. I will never feel like I am "done" learning; I will simply feel like I have taken more steps toward approaching that level of completeness.

That will be the most difficult challenge when it comes to becoming good with women... learning to accept the fact that you will never stop learning. So my advice to you is to embrace every failure and try to learn from it as much as possible because failure will continue to be a part of your growth toward getting better with women, and it will also be a big contributor to your success.

As Ricardus would always say, it's only "Onward and Upward."

Cheers,

Franco

 

[Estate]

Thanks Franco,
I've certainly learned a lot and certainly have a lot more to learn.
I'm in this for the long haul now. I need to keep improving and so far I've improved a lot from where I was.

What I need though is for more of this to stop being a conscious decision.
I need to be at a point where I see a hot girl and instead of "psyching myself up" for it... I naturally just gravitat towards her and open my mouth.

Does that makes sense?
I don't want to "act sexy", I want to "be sexy". I don't want it to be a switch I turn on when I head out to the bar and turn off when I'm sitting on my couch. I want my natural reaction to things which pop infront of me at a moments notice to be that of the "new me".

Like my work example... If I have a few seconds to weight up a situation now, I can make it work instead of how I used to run away when I was younger.
But if a hot girl just pops around a corner and then poof, she's gone... that second has passed.. my default reaction was not to approach her... it took that second to CONSCIOUSLY decide I must and the moment has passed.

I don't just want to knowledge, I want it to start becoming my new personality to be outgoing and attractive... I guess time and exposure are the main keys.

 

[Good Vibes]

Can anyone share any knowledge on training yourself to be fundamentally a different person. Obviously I'm talking here about ingraining a lot of the things taught on this site... being sexy, being attractive, having confidence, approaching those women!

How do I get this ingrained in my personality?

Estate, you don't need to be fundamentally a different person, you just need to learn the skill. You should also realize there are 4 levels to mastering a new skill which includes seduction. You are probably at stage 3. Just keep at it.

1. Unconscious incompetence

2. Conscious incompetence

3. Conscious competence

4. Unconscious competence

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_competence

I would say most likely that no one here at Girls Chase Boards is still at level 1.

 

[Verisimilitude]

I have the same "problem". For example, no more than ten minutes ago I saw a girl, made eye contact and smiled (I have a sly sort of knowing smile pasted on my face all day, I find it helps to have that as a neutral face). She smiled back and looked down. Clearly, I should have opened her, but I was thinking about how I needed to catch the bus, and I wasn't sure if I found her attractive.

Just like that, the moment was gone and past.

Obviously, I don't have my "radar" on or the right mindset ingrained yet either. We are probably at different stages. But the same idea. I've read the material but I'm not there yet.

The only thing I can think of is more practice, but I wish there was an easier way to do it, or a more effective way to practice.

Another related problem is that I have a different personality when I'm going to meet girls and when I'm with my friends.

So some self-diagnosis and my thoughts on moving forward. Hope it helps or at least lets you know you're not alone.

 

[ashutosh]

This is an really.honest post estate. Im also an teenager and have realized that we can mould ourselves into anything we want . But for that there only 2 requirements - time and effort.

 

[Koliekins]

You can change your innate nature. It simply requires changing your base behaviors, thoughts, and habits. To give an overly simplistic example, let us say you hate the color blue. Now just like learning the guitar, you are going to start with the basics. You will look yourself in the eye in the mirror every morning and say "I love the color Blue." Despite you not believing it right now, a few weeks down the road simply by taking up this mechanical process you will begin to love the color blue. Then you start to show people you love blue. You'd paint your car your new favorite color. Adorn your room with it. Wear nothing but blue shirts.
So if you believe you are a sexy man, you tell yourself you are a sexy man, and act like a sexy man in every facet of your life consciously for sometime your innate nature will begin to change to that of a sexy man. Eventually it will come completely naturally; all it takes is that conscious and deliberate modification of your behaviors, thoughts, and habits.