Transition into reaching for condom advice?

[RodeoRyan]

Anybody who has had sex with a girl for the first time, especially a girl you've only been on one date with, knows how much it sucks to be extremely into the girl you're with, getting sweaty and talking dirty, then suddenly have to stop, and reach around (probably in the dark) searching for a condom. I've come across this problem several times.

I've solved part of this awkwardness by keeping my condoms in the drawer right next to my bed, so I don't even have to get off the girl to reach over and grab a rubber, but this only works when you're bedding the girl at your place.

However, it can be kind of awkward to suddenly quit caressing the lucky lady, jump out of her bed, frantically searching around in your pants' pockets for a condom. All the while, she's just laying there, naked and sweaty. I've even had a girl stop me at this point and tell me she didn't want to have sex, even though 20 seconds prior, she was grabbing my dick and trying to shove it into her vagina... My only guess was that the escalation stopped just long enough - while I was searching for a condom - for her logical brain to kick in and tell her to slow things down with me...

I'm wondering if anybody has come across this same issue? And if so, has anybody found a solution?

Is there something you can tell the girl right before you reach for your condom? For example, sometimes I say something like, "Hold on, let me get a condom. I like to be safe. You can never be too careful."

~ Cheers

 

[Ross]

Just plan on having sex with the woman, and always have condoms within reach of anywhere a seduction can take place. Think I Am Legend, except instead of guns hidden everywhere, condoms safely stored everywhere. If you are on the move, bring a To go; there are a lot of brands out there for every possible situation.

Your technique works well, but you often don't need to say much. Just say wait a second. As soon as your pants are being unzipped, slap that sucker on. Push her back playfully and put it on. Or maybe tease her a little; have it within reach, but say not until I put on protection. Wait 10 seconds more, then go for it. Be creative with it, sex is supposed to be fun, not a chore!

I've even had a girl stop me at this point and tell me she didn't want to have sex, even though 20 seconds prior, she was grabbing my dick and trying to shove it into her vagina...

Keep going.. It sounds like her body and her mind weren't on the same page. Persist, as she obviously wanted it. If she literally started putting on clothes and trying to escape, I think some objections weren't addressed earlier. Could be a host of things, but only you know.

 

[Franco]

Hey Ryan,

Here's a thread directly from Chase on this exact topic:

Yeah, that's one of the problems you'll run into with condoms. It's a mood killer, and it also changes the dynamic of the sex - condomless sex is raw animal passion, and it triggers something very primal in the brain that's screaming, "We're mating! We're mating!" But the instant you stop, break mood, and slip a condom on, you're telling a girl, "Oh wait - we're not mating, this is just some hedonistic fun. You like hedonistic fun, right?" The emotion for the girl is very similar to the emotion you'd probably have if you were just about to slide into a girl, and she stopped you, and said, "Wait, before you do - it's going to be $150, okay?" It's like a cold water shower - suddenly this sex is not so much about you and her, but about this transaction that's taking place.

There are a couple of strategies around this: one is having a condom ready when you know you're going to move to sex (opening the package and sticking it somewhere you can get to it easily, and slipping it on when there's a moment during the escalation that you can get away with it without her noticing (e.g., you're both naked, you sucking on her breasts, playing with her pussy with one hand, and your other hand is surreptitiously slipping the condom on). When you do it that way, so that she never actually sees / notices, there's no interruption of the mood, and no loss of passion / excitement / realness to the situation.

Another strategy is getting your cock in first, going for a few thrusts, then saying, "Wait, let's not be stupid," then pulling out and putting a rubber on and going back in. You eliminate the pregnancy risk here, but there's still some disease risk.

And, the other option is straight going bareback. Most of the guys I know who are prolific with women prefer this one. It's a sex drive hack... when you go out and you're thinking, "I'm going to shag this chick... with a rubber," it isn't nearly as exciting and motivating as thinking, "I'm going to bareback this chick and cum all inside her." Of course, you face some risk there, and if you bareback every girl you pick up, sooner or later you'll pick something up (or knock a girl up if you're cumming in her... it's actually ridiculously easy to do).

On the "going bareback" one, you can also try and go by feel - if she's a less-experienced girl, she's probably safer, and she'll also be the most likely to go cold and leave if you try to use a condom (because she wants sex to be about love). Whereas if she's more experienced, she knows the deal, and she's not backing out at the last moment just because you stop things to slip on protection. But you can sometimes be deceived... a girl might seem inexperienced and sweet but she's a total sex fiend, or she might seem like the most sultry seductress in the world but she's only ever had one or two long-term boyfriends and no hook ups, she's just decided that now it's time for her to get sexy. So this one isn't completely safe.

Basically, you've got to decide what you're willing to do or what you're willing to risk. Although, the slipping-the-condom-on-while-she's-distracted (because you're playing with her breasts / pussy / etc.) isn't too hard to pull off.

Chase

I actually use the "slip it on while I distract her" method quite often. This can be as simple as going down on her while using your hand(s) to slip the condom on. Ross is correct in that you should just have them everywhere so that you can reach them at a moment's notice. Be liberal with your condoms!

Cheers,

Franco

 

[TheWrangler]

I think Chase pretty much covered it. First, you need to have condoms next to your bed. This is an absolute. Also, if you're not at a bed, you need to plan your logistics so you have condoms within reach. Anyway, a move I've successfully used so she doesn't see you put a condom on and you don't interrupt everything with a dead moment is instead of going down on her while laying on the bed, you pull her to the edge of the bed so her legs hang off, kneel next to the side of the bed and go down on her here. This way you can reach your condoms and use two hands, put lube on, etc while continuing to excite her without stopping for a condom. She'll be too occupied to notice you putting on a condom.

 

[mb1]

Franco just linked to this in radeng's new thread so I'm bumping it also just to add to the tips one that I've used with success:

When ready to reach for the condom, sometimes I'll grab her hair like a ponytail (as if you were pulling it in doggie) and press your first down on the pillow, so her head's pulled back a bit while she's lying on her back on the bed. She'll be looking up at the ceiling, then just use your other hand to grab the condom. She knows what's going on but it keeps a really dominant vibe going on and you can take however long 'cause being held like that's turning her on. So at my leisure I then unwrap it above her head while making out (or teasing her neck, etc.) and slip it on fast, or just command her to take it while still holding the ponytail and make her open it up.

In times when she's real built up and has already been made to say please fuck me a few times, it's very fun to watch her scramble to unwrap the condom as fast as possible and put it on your dick so she can grab and shove it in her. So, instead of averting an awkward transition, I just make the transition really hot.

 

[RodeoRyan]

Wow. Awesome to see this post get bumped 2.5 years later.

Just to update from then until now, I've pretty much exclusively employed the "apply the condom while going down on/distracting her" and it's yet to fail me.

But maybe I'll have to try mb1's approach. Something new and fresh.

 

[mb1]

Timeless topic! lol figured it would get clicks anyways due to being linked to. I do your method too! Getting her to invest in the act is fun too though - almost a chase frame since it's HER putting on the condom (or being made to wait for it) so SHE can get the sex.