Treading a fine line - Jealous girl (Cool story)

[goldenglory]

Hi gents

Wonder if you can help me out with a tricky situation.

A girl at work has made it fairly clear that she's interested in me. Early this week she suggested I take her number down and our conversations in general have been pretty flirtatious.

I was reluctant to do anything for a while because I didn't want to make things awkward at work. So barely any texts have been exchanged since I got her number earlier in the week. The first day after getting the number I just acted cool, like we had been before. Yesterday, I reconsidered and thought 'you know what, fuck it - she's pretty hot so I'll just go for it.' I was alone with her in the staff room for a short while and was planning to invite her out at the weekend. Things seemed to be going well at first - fairly flirty conversation and she seemed nervous but in a good way.

Unfortunately things didn't quite go to plan after that. She'd somehow caught wind of an offhand comment I'd made to another staff member about a different girl working elsewhere in the building being hot. That was brought up and kind of derailed things. I tried to plough on anyway and asked her how she was fixed for the weekend - I assumed she'd take that to mean 'are you free to do something this weekend'? Instead she just told me about her plans for Saturday night, as if I was just making casual conversation. Doh!

Before I could bring things back on track, some other people came into the staff room, sitting right by us. From that point onwards she was much quieter than usual and group conversation in the room was minimal. We were sitting opposite each other, eating lunch, in a mostly quiet room. It was extremely awkward, partly because I couldn't think of anything to say and also because I wasn't sure where to look. I didn't want to be staring her down, but nervously scanning around the room wasn't too hot either. Before her lunch break ended, she left the room, presumably from the awkwardness. So then I'm thinking - 'Jesus Christ I've well and truly fucked this up.'

But then about half an hour later, one of the other girls in the office tells me: 'X has just said that she's REALLY jealous that you like Y and that you don't fancy her.' Hmm. Since when did finding one girl attractive mean that you don't like all the other ones too? I saw X briefly once more before the end of work (with other people about) and this time it wasn't awkward.

I was planning on sorting things out today, but in the event I never actually saw her at work - we got sent home early due to heavy snow and didn't bump into each other.

Now I'm not entirely sure what to do. I know the jealousy angle could work to my advantage, played right, but I can just as easily see her reacting by going out and pulling some random dude this weekend.

Given that I don't really want anything serious here, what do you suggest I do? How fast do I need to act in this situation, and would it really matter that much if she got with someone else before I saw her again?

I know Chase now advocates using texting for logistics only, but in this situation, I'm thinking of sending her a quick text or two, just so she doesn't go off into auto-rejection. Potentially just rapport building texts, or maybe trying to set up something for the weekend, supposing that doesn't look too weak under the circumstances...

Any thoughts on this?

Cheers

GG

 

[goldenglory]

Thinking of sending this:

'Alright X, didn’t catch you at work this morning…if you wanna meet up for a cheeky one in town tonight, let me know! x (My Name)'

What do you reckon?

 

[almosteasy21]

Personally I don't think it would be a good idea to go any further with this one unless you're prepared for a complete mess. Especially if you play the jealous angle. At very best if you move things forward with her then you'll have an awkward work environment. At worst, well both of you could end up fired.

That being said, I'm an idiot and would probably go for it lol. Her friend probably told you that to gauge your reaction and tell her. Kind of like at test.

 

[almosteasy21]

Oh and that response is fine.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hey goldenglory,

Although i have to admit that it might have repercussions like Kinny21 said. You both can get fired. I suggest leaving this one alone for a month or two, while having minimal text back and forth.

Don't play the jealousy angle. and laugh off the comments of your co-workers, and be warmth about it. Tease them onto they trying to ask you to tell them something. Like this, you get the girl, while your work relationship with other colleagues will be intact. Don't share anything about your sexual relationships with your co-workers.

Zac

 

[goldenglory]

Thanks for your replies chaps.

I did send the above text in the end. She replied a few hours later in a pretty upbeat manner, but said she'd left her car at work and was unlikely to come out at the weekend because of the snow.

I'll probably just play it cool when we go into work next week, and not try and arrange anything else. Don't want to stick my neck out too much or be seen as chasing in a work environment - for the reasons you've given.

One thing I'm wondering about though: Chase stresses that attraction has an expiry date and that moving quickly is essential. But here Zac you're suggesting leaving this alone for a month or two. Do you reckon it's 'ok' to move more slowly in this instance - and not something that will get me slotted into friend/unsexual territory? If so, would you mind explaining why? Cheers

GG

 

[trashKENNUT]

Attraction do have an expiry date and moving quickly is essential. But at the same time, you got to play your cards right. Her and yourself definitely would not want an awkward vibe at work. She only blames you if things get bad. This is mainly you didnt handle things correctly in the office.

The good thing about this is that she still upbeat in her message responding to you. The "leave it a month thing" don't matter here. Her attraction is still good. You would want to simmer down the awkward vibe that presented the other day by get as less contact at work (don't purposely evade her though) until you can get logistics and she can go out. This way, you have the opportunity to get together with her and also it looks like nothing happened at work.

Zac