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troubles after passionate kissing...again

throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
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44
seems like still same issues with attainability, anti slut defense or in this case even maybe with rather bigger pinch of fsc..or who knows(I hope you!)

I don't' want to do same mistake like with my post below but I again feel/think that I should do what i did with restaurant proposition for second in below post, to shut down her ASD (which was horrible idea in previous case, but there was no kissing):
(you can skip to "WHERE I FUCKED UP")

Saturday I've met with beautiful girl, let's call her "World Economic Forum" (from tinder..agh..), 10/10 (am I in love?), 27, at least 2 inches higher than me (+ she wore at least 2'' heels, it was funny to kiss for greetings)
I saw from start she was little bit disappointed by height difference (i was not lying, i just did not mentioned it in profile and she didn't ask). Never cared about it.(ok sometimes little bit, when I screw up date..but never before tinder haha, sick app, weak mind).

So, we are in this bar, talking, she is dodging eye contact, is little bit shy/disinterested, but after while, i am very straight forward with the compliments (generous compliments.. it is very easy with her, she looked very beautiful) and we have lot of common so she getting into it. Stronger eye contact, laughing, talking. Lots of talkin. Later little bit of roasting her style and acne. But she was on board.

Since I was so straight forward and she was very honest about her life (I liked it but to be honest, she was oversharing a lot) i dip into sex talk in cca 20 minutes, orgasms, favorite type of orgasm (heh, she did not know about her tits can orgasm), she mentioned her frustrating sex life from her LTR from years ago(there I mentioned how i feel that relationship is mainly about sex, how is sex important and interesting,..and how passion can never be replaced with material shit and status).
She was constantly blushing.

However, since last year she is dating a lot, i was not judging, she felt that she can trust me (and she can, i dont judge here), she also mentioned that she was only two times on girls night, but never had sex from it.
Not sure if I believe that.(she also mentioned she tried girl and she has A LOT guy friends).
I was not able to read her, how experienced and open is to sex. On one hand, i feel that she was teasing me with that girl comment(for some reason we did not dig into it, not sure because of waiter or some shit like that -> i was also getting drunk, what the fuck?)

Then we were speaking about some personal topics and views on life, we agreed, she liked my views, the bar closed (cca 2h in..long date, i know..) but it came in wrong time so I did not push for moving to my place but to another bar.
While we moved we spoke about how she don't like how people in this country can be judgmental, we spoke about fashion (chokers..she had one in purse and she couldn't wait to show it of in bar we were heading)

We are in new bar, i was getting pretty drunk (Not sure what is with me, i feel like shit last few weeks, even during dates..) she sits again in front of me (she mentioned in previous bar how she likes that we are sitting in front of each other since she loves the eye contact we have..also, she is in some regards pretty shy, how i mentioned, blushing, talking lot about guy friends but not really about sex itself)

Now we are talking pop culture, she loves one series which I love too, so i stand up and told her "you are perfect, i have to kiss you..oncheeks", i kissed her on cheeks multiple times (while i am writing it, in sounds cringe but..it was not) and left to toilet. When i came back, I asked about another show, she did not see it an i told her let's go to my place to watch it. She refused.
Then I changed topic and asked her what she likes about her most, she told me her "tits" (she was really intrigued by tits orgasm i mentioned at start...i think i have it from girlschase or youtube not sure..but i know i never gave it hahahah), she likes how they look, she was describing them a lot. She knew i was checking them (obviously) whole night, we laughed, i told her they will be also great for kids (in tinder convo i mentioned that i would make her 4 kids), she seriously (!) answered that she can imagine having two kids..but maybeee. During conversation i few times caress her face.(she is fucking gorgeous)

"WHERE I FUCKED UP"
Then she removed something from my t-shirt...i moved closer to her (intention to kissed her..in bar, cca 2 m from bar full of waitresses..what a dickhead... trust me guys, i read and try to implement what you are writing me..but shit i felt it would be right..luckily i was), she lean towards me to kiss me (I was surprised), so i played with it, dodged it, whispered her something nice, than grab her, lean in and kissed her. Deeply, passionately, we were kissing there at least 5 minutes like kids. I was playing with her tights, holding her neck, she had her lipstic everyhwere, i holed her hands and told her how beautiful she is. We were biting each other.

THEN she get emotional, like really moved...i tried to calm her down ( she was not necessary sad or crying, we were still kissing and she did not want to go anywhere), i sit next to her, tried to move with her to my place (2 mins away), not a chance...we were again, kissing like crazy, i had my hand almost in her butt (ahahah that bar is classy, i mean she was impressed i am taking her there..btw they were also closing). She then mentioned me, she needs to move on (something with her ex..hm).
I felt that she needs sex, that she is sexually frustrated and looking for excuse but i was wrong/awkward with execution.
I told her no worry, (did not gave up on sex), this night has multiple scenarios and all of them are good ( i did not want her to feel sad, she looked really "moved")
I told her i will walk her out to her place (by taxi, she lives few miles away), she refused, that she wants cry in taxi.
I told her ok, but give me something for memory -> she said she doesn't have anything (i forgot about that choker, but my intention was bit on my neck).
I asked for bite on my neck -> she delivered.
Then she asked me if i want to go on cigarette with her infront of the bar wait for taxi, we smoked, no too much talking, she was shivering, then we kissed ( i had to ask her to sit down again because her lips were too high and it would be fucking impractical ahahaha)
We are kissing, in a good mood and then taxi came, one last kiss, spank on butt and I told her to text me when she is at home (to be honest, i really worried, it was 2pm,. 4 h long date for fuck sake!)



In few minutes i received nice text on tinder she is at her place and good night. I texted good night princess. She liked it.
Since I am dummy, in -?>https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...-have-friendzone-situation.25864/#post-146004 I assumed that girl had ASD, and I proposed dinner as a second date (with her there was no kissing, but i felt she liked me and she was trying to be "serious") So, i though that now i am clever, and i did complete opposite. (spoiler, i'm not clever)

So next day around lunch, i sent her text ->
"hey girl, give me your number or contact"
"and also, i had interesting dream about you" (i tried this "gambit" from "skills", once i was successful with it, actually week ago, so i had it fresh in my mind, and to be honest, i woke up with morning wood so it was probably correct).

She answered few hours later with "like" on my dream msg, and question about the dream. No contact/number.(!)

And I, dummy, sent her very sexual msg, how i was dreaming about her coming to my place, in red dress (she mentioned how she has one dress in which she is dancing at home alone and just listening music), how we are kissing, and how i am feeling her body.
+ how i feel there is special chemistry between us. (which i feel)

no answer, over 25h.
my reasoning was that I bet heavy on her sexual frustration which she mentioned during date, trying to have sex on first date. But i was wrong and her ASD + maybe FSC put me probably into trash.

So, now, I feel like i am gonna text her something, what would change dynamics, i have in mind something like this:
hi princess, I hope you are doing good. I am still thinking about you, how "insert lots of honest compliments"
You catch my interest, It would be shame if we wouldn't met again, so i wouldn't be able enjoy your beauty, charm. etc.
(again, some generous compliments + something sexy).
I like you, i liked being in your presence, sitting in front of you and looking into your eyes but even more, sitting next to you (thats when we were kissing).
I never felt so good with other woman, You are drug. + proposition for dinner and drinks later

I know it looks cringy, over the top and like from high school, but i think that making her feel special (honestly) and that i mean it seriously is only chance, since my sex talk screwed it up.
Also, she mentioned she is going to therapy :)))))

Thank you gentlemen.
 
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Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
Then she removed something from my t-shirt...i moved closer to her (intention to kissed her..in bar, cca 2 m from bar full of waitresses..what a dickhead... trust me guys, i read and try to implement what you are writing me..but shit i felt it would be right..luckily i was), she lean towards me to kiss me (I was surprised), so i played with it, dodged it, whispered her something nice, than grab her, lean in and kissed her. Deeply, passionately, we were kissing there at least 5 minutes like kids. I
Here you totally removed the sexual tension.

You should have been moving to your place before this. Date was too long.
Don't get Drunk..you become uncalibrated drunk.
Then we were speaking about some personal topics and views on life, we agreed, she liked my views, the bar closed (cca 2h in..long date, i know..) but it came in wrong time so I did not push for moving to my place but to another bar.
Instead of a bar, how about a walk...Oh you are cold? Here let's get you a sweatshirt, I know a place....
 

throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
44
Here you totally removed the sexual tension.

You should have been moving to your place before this. Date was too long.
Don't get Drunk..you become uncalibrated drunk.

Instead of a bar, how about a walk...Oh you are cold? Here let's get you a sweatshirt, I know a place....
I agree, but I tried to take her home few minutes before kiss (mentioned in paragraph above it).After kissing, when I tried again, she ofc mentioned principles :) I was probably in boyfriend teritory.

second bar was not intentional or planned, i messed up ....


"Instead of a bar, how about a walk...Oh you are cold? Here let's get you a sweatshirt, I know a place...."
fuck..But thanks. I have troubles to find excuse to my place, they always come when we both know are gonna fuck and its not even subtle.

EDIT
but to be honest, the walk from bar to bar looked really funny, she was really at least 4 inches higher hahah. but thanks anyway, I should go for it.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
So I had a similar situation....If she is/was looking for a BF you would have a text in the morning...if you passed the BF qualifying....
 

throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
44
ok, in the middle of the night I texted her (so it was double text after my sex dream text) about how was nice to meeting her, how i find our energy appealing and how I would like to spend more time with her again. Some nice and some sexy compliments, plus, proposition for dinner and drink(sorry guys, but if sex msg did not worked i changed approach)

She replied this morning with long nice text about:
how she really likes what i texted her, that she thought about us and she realized that she is not ready dating (probably my last msg was too "beta", but we had some dating talk even during date, i tried not to be a provider after TomInHo advice -> so no work/job/money talk, didn't let her really dig into me, i was qualifying her not vica versa etc, only think we joked about was kids...but probably not good enough).
She recently broke up with guy 20+ older then she is (she mentioned him briefly on date) and she wrote that during our kissing realized that she is not totally over him (so that is confirmation of that "mood shift" and being emotional). I felt it to be honest.
She wrote it was harder and harder to continue to kiss (ouch..bu to be honest, she initiated a lot, specially outside..but ok). Then she wrote she don't want to lead me on, she think our connection would not end up well.
She is angry at herself that she installed tinder, plus that she really is thankful for the beautiful evening and that she is hoping i will find somebody excellent.



So, yeah, it's done. Is it worth to send parting shot?

I am here to play and learn, plus there is nothing to lose, she is nice, i like but i dont be devastated from this lost :
I am thinking about sending voice msg (resp. link for voice msg since tinder suck a dick and she did not gave me her number), but i am not sure which angle should i take:
I am thinking about something like i did recently with my last post about lack of sexual spark(https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/lack-of-sexual-spark.26215/#post-148833), where I proposed after very similar date like this, few very sexual msgs, she though i am player, so i proposed harmless ice cream date and at least get her number (so i can try to resuscitate after a month or so), plus date (true, with very difficult energy)

(seems like all of them are horrible, but i can't give her time since i dont have any other contact on her and i do not think she will be on tinder in few months).

Do you have proposition please?
 
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Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
2,091
Do not answer her.

In 30 days (and not before) give her a ping and do not double text her...If she doesn't answer, let it go.
 

TomInHo

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 13, 2021
Messages
588
ok, in the middle of the night I texted her (so it was double text after my sex dream text) about how was nice to meeting her, how i find our energy appealing and how I would like to spend more time with her again. Some nice and some sexy compliments, plus, proposition for dinner and drink(sorry guys, but if sex msg did not worked i changed approach)

She replied this morning with long nice text about:
how she really likes what i texted her, that she thought about us and she realized that she is not ready dating (probably my last msg was too "beta", but we had some dating talk even during date, i tried not to be a provider after TomInHo advice -> so no work/job/money talk, didn't let her really dig into me, i was qualifying her not vica versa etc, only think we joked about was kids...but probably not good enough).
She recently broke up with guy 20+ older then she is (she mentioned him briefly on date) and she wrote that during our kissing realized that she is not totally over him (so that is confirmation of that "mood shift" and being emotional). I felt it to be honest.
She wrote it was harder and harder to continue to kiss (ouch..bu to be honest, she initiated a lot, specially outside..but ok). Then she wrote she don't want to lead me on, she think our connection would not end up well.
She is angry at herself that she installed tinder, plus that she really is thankful for the beautiful evening and that she is hoping i will find somebody excellent.



So, yeah, it's done. Is it worth to send parting shot?

I am here to play and learn, plus there is nothing to lose, she is nice, i like but i dont be devastated from this lost :
I am thinking about sending voice msg (resp. link for voice msg since tinder suck a dick and she did not gave me her number), but i am not sure which angle should i take:
I am thinking about something like i did recently with my last post about lack of sexual spark(https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/lack-of-sexual-spark.26215/#post-148833), where I proposed after very similar date like this, few very sexual msgs, she though i am player, so i proposed harmless ice cream date and at least get her number (so i can try to resuscitate after a month or so), plus date (true, with very difficult energy)

(seems like all of them are horrible, but i can't give her time since i dont have any other contact on her and i do not think she will be on tinder in few months).

Do you have proposition please?

Hmmm. Lets take a closer look at her situation

- She just got out of a relationship
- She is still emotionally attached to him
- She wants the company of a man
- But she doesn't want to get into anything too serious

This means you need to re-calibrate. Because the reason why she sent you that text was because she feels like you may be trying to angle for a relationship

So you need to change that perception ASAP... I would text her and go over the following points

- She misread your intentions
- Empathize that this is a time in her life were she should be enjoying her freedom... PACE
- You like her energy but don't want to jump into anything quickly... QUALIFY & LEAD
- Just want to spend time enjoying each others company with low pressure and no expectations... LEAD

This will help ease her objections and give you room to move the seduction forward
 

throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
44
Thank you.
just an update: I sent her voice msg cca 10 FUCKING minutes before TomInHo's post, however, I said more or less same what you adviced me.(didn't emphases that this the time of her life..but i with lite tone of voice communicate we can go hangout, also I said I have understanding for her situation etc.")

No response.. It's also possible she deleted tinder from phone, she seems very emotional and impulsive.

Will try again maybe in month with some "hi".
Not sure of hi, hi as a double text is BS, but hard to say what to sent after voice msg like that. Maybe something funny..but that can backfire as a desperate.
 
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Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
638
No response.. It's also possible she deleted tinder from phone, she seems very emotional and impulsive.
Very likely, specially if she just broke up... She might be with him again as we "speak" (text? lol)

That said I think you did nice, this girl had a man, and she seems unexperieced (at least not thaaat experienced), she even replied to you after not going home with you, but it's tough because back then she was horny (and I'm assuming drunk), now you're sober, she be thinking about her ex, I mean, she was probably feeling kinda guilty getting sexual with you there, maybe you could have addressed her ex better, or dodged the topic completely and make her forget...

Just act cool, maybe you see her again and you bed her (if you don't live in a town that is like huge this is likely, mine isn't that small but people just tend to gravitate to the same places, niches and stuff).
I sent her voice msg cca 10 FUCKING minutes before TomInHo's post
Ouch that's not it m8, it seems like you're a bit over too much into her, try to pull back a bit and recompose. As @Fuck This said, I think it would be nice for you to give her some time, like don't text her for 2 days, specially if she doesn't answer you.
 

throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
44
thanks.
Just an update, I no longer have her in matches (noticed yestrerday, cca 7 days since my voice msg). I should do better job to get girls info, but don't have ig or impressive social media

Ouch that's not it m8, it seems like you're a bit over too much into her, try to pull back a bit and recompose. As @Fuck This said, I think it would be nice for you to give her some time, like don't text her for 2 days, specially if she doesn't answer you.
that voice msg was answer on her text, not double text
 
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Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
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Messages
4,558
Bro here are the issues:


, i was getting pretty drunk
then mentioned me, she needs to move on (something with her ex..hm).

^ this you should have address and say you are right i agree, get some intelligence on what happened and differentiate yourself briefly then change topics.

I proposed dinner as a second date
hey girl, give me your number or contact"

then you deliver the dream routine (is a good routine) but your timing to do this was off, to do routines in person and in texting you need someone willing to pay attention and listen, she was not giving you anything, and you went into it out of exitment you over reached....

DO NOT DO THIS:

So, now, I feel like i am gonna text her something, what would change dynamics, i have in mind something like this:
hi princess, I hope you are doing good. I am still thinking about you, how "insert lots of honest compliments"
You catch my interest, It would be shame if we wouldn't met again, so i wouldn't be able enjoy your beauty, charm. etc.
(again, some generous compliments + something sexy).
I like you, i liked being in your presence, sitting in front of you and looking into your eyes but even more, sitting next to you (thats when we were kissing).
I never felt so good with other woman, You are drug. + proposition for dinner and drinks later


You also did a lot of good:

- moving her
- escalations
-text me when you get home
- a super mini version of the 8 orgasm (stuck in the breast) you need to deliver the whole thing

read the stuff on second gen... and practice it
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
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Messages
5,928
@throw,

"WHERE I FUCKED UP"
Then she removed something from my t-shirt...i moved closer to her (intention to kissed her..in bar, cca 2 m from bar full of waitresses..what a dickhead... trust me guys, i read and try to implement what you are writing me..but shit i felt it would be right..luckily i was), she lean towards me to kiss me (I was surprised), so i played with it, dodged it, whispered her something nice, than grab her, lean in and kissed her. Deeply, passionately, we were kissing there at least 5 minutes like kids. I was playing with her tights, holding her neck, she had her lipstic everyhwere, i holed her hands and told her how beautiful she is. We were biting each other.

That's where it ended.

I did this a bunch when I was new, and it cost me a bunch of lays.

The last one I did it with, I was telling a more experienced guy about it, describing this girl it was super on with, making out with her in the bar, fingering her in public, pulling her out of there, then her jumping ship just as we were heading out the door.

His response was, "Come on, Chase, you know better than that! Making out / fingering in public! Get her home first, then do that!"

I was like lol yeah whoops :oops:

So I quit doing it and suddenly these girls I should've laid but kept losing post-make-out started ending up in bed... with no make-out happening until we got home.

Making out is a wild card in a seduction:

  • It might convince her that yeah, she totally wants to go bed with this guy... and then once the make-out is done she stays that way

  • It may also make her super horny in the moment, but as soon as the moment ends she starts trying to wind things down

  • It may cause her to realize something, like she did here ("Wait, I love my ex... am I sure I want to do this? I'm not ready to move on")

It can work if the girl is ready for sex and has no objections that will bubble up. If she has objections though, you're not doing yourself any favors.

Save the make-out for your place (or, better still, save the passionate making out for during / after sex).

You know the whole "prostitutes don't kiss, because a kiss is more intimate than sex" thing... this is the problem with kissing, especially deep/passionate kissing -- you really do not know how she is going to react.

See this article (and try to stick to it):


Chase
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Terms

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 15, 2022
Messages
51
Because girls enjoy it so much, making out tends to diffuse the sexual tension. Its a release valve, not an amplifier. Something that satisfies and diffuses the girl's cravings rather than making them stronger.

Best saved for the sex location when its a quick bridge to the escalations you're actually after.
 
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