- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 295
I have mostly been using Chase's structure regarding text messaging after getting a number. In the beginning it was a huge boost in my game, leading to certain number of dates, that said I have started feeling more and more lately that I should be more flexible, and maybe some girls require more banter, or another approach when it comes to texting.
For this reason I wanted to post some texting interactions I've had with girls lately. Right now, it's the night of Thursday for me, all of these girls I approached during last week by street stops or stopping to talk to them while they were waiting for transit, and all the interactions lasted less than 5 minutes. In all of them my primary strategy was: Send an ice breaker few hours after meeting -> if she responds send a scheduler text the next day, if she doesn't respond send a scheduler voice message after 2 days -> if more than two days of silence for scheduler text, send a voice message just to catch up without proposing something new, and if silence at the scheduler voice message, wait more days and maybe use some ping as hail marry
I will explain why I did certain things in the texting, and also provide my thoughts regarding what it would have been better to do. My goal is to figure out which girls would respond well to which type of texting, and what adjustments I should make to my very straightforward structure. I know there are other texting guides and strategies, sometimes I take things from there, generally though I feel I am coming off very tryhard when I try to text more, and I am trying to have a simple strategy that doesn't require much back and forth to also save me time from the phone.
Interaction 1:
Friday 23:29 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], it’s [CXK Name], lovely to have met
Saturday 13:31 Girl: Hello!
Thanks for the kind compliments yesterday! ☺
Sunday 18:28 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], hope you’ve been enjoying the weekend! I took a short trip to [Place in my country] with friends yesterday, and had a relaxing Sunday with my father
Let me know how the week looks for you, I’m pretty busy on Tuesday, but generally we could find time for a chill drink
Tuesday 13:03 Girl: Hello! Nice hearing u had a great weekend.
Im on my way to [Nearby City] for work.
Do u have a preferred place for a drink?
Tuesday 18:35 CXK: Hope it was a nice day I was thinking of something cool close by, like [Nearby Open Bar]
Sometime on Wednesday:
reaction to my last answer
In fact this one I don't feel that bad about. I followed the structure I explained and when she asked about the place, I was clear proposing the bar close by I take most girls. I know she also lives around , since that's where we met close by, and I feel her thumbs up is good.
For here I would say that the fact she responded with a warm thank you but one day later made it a good chance to simply go for a scheduler text.
From now on I am not sure exactly how to move on though. Maybe just texting or sending a voice message one of these days, asking her when she is free for that drink, would be enough.
Interaction 2:
Saturday 22:37 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], it’s [CXK Name], lovely to have met
Saturday 22:38 Girl: Hi
Sunday 18:22 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], hope you had lots of fun in your night out! I’ve had a very cozy day with my father Let me know how the week looks for you, I’m quite busy on Tuesday, but generally we could find time for that drink
(left on read)
Wednesday 18:50 CXK: [Voice Message]: Hey [Girl Name], hope you had a great start in your week. I had a pretty big company party yesterday, and it was a lot of fun, it kinda feels like weekend already. Let me know how it's going for you.
(left on read)
Now here I think I screwed up. Basically the biggest screw up was that I didn't get the girl somewhere then and there. She told me she was going out Saturday night to have a drink by herself, and she was really pretty, my favourite one out of all these numbers. She even responded very well to my approach, and clearly liked me. I couldn't take her at my place that night though and thought instead of going out with her without being able to pull, it would be better to meet another day. I should have probably just asked her to go for a drink together and figure out the rest.
I'm saying all this because she also responded very fast to my icebreaker that night. Not sure if texting then and there would have been better, but I surely think now that the scheduler text the next day was too much for her. I want to mention here that she was an African girl, here to study coming from a far away place, clearly without many friends if she goes out on Saturday night alone, so I should have thought she may need more texting back and forth before asking her out.
She simply felt so warm when we met, and even her immediate first response made me feel it's a done deal with her. I was fairly sad with this result, because she really had something for me. From this I'd say that after a quick warm response to the ice breaker, maybe it's better to exchange one two more messages and not just drop the conversation completely and simply come the next day for a scheduler text.
No idea if anything can be done here after to silences. Maybe I'll send her a good morning ping one day. I was also thinking of letting some more days pass and after next week coming back updating what I have been to and asking how her studies are treating her, mentioning her specific field of studies which is marine biology and haven't mentioned in any text since now.
Interaction 3:
Saturday 22:38 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], it’s [CXK Name], lovely to have met
Saturday 22:46 Girl: oh hey! yeah was nice to meet you
Sunday 18:35 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], hope you’ve enjoyed the moody Sunday, I’ve had a very cozy time with my father! Let me know how the week looks for you, I’m quite busy on Tuesday, but generally we could find time for a relaxed drink
Monday 13:38 Girl: hi! yeah i definitely enjoyed a calm sunday
this week from wednesday or thursday would probably work well for me. earliest around 18:00. would that work for you?
Monday 20:59 CXK: Yes it would Thursday evening looks great for me as well. What do you say about 19:30?
(not read)
Wednesday 20:00 CXK: don’t forget to let me know what you think of the idea
Wednesday 21:21 Girl: oh im sorry i almost forgot!
Wednesday 21:22 Girl: tomorrow works, but 19:00 would be better for me, how about you?
Wednesday 21:29 CXK: Yeah can do 19:00
Wednesday 21:31 CXK: Let’s meet at the [Nearby Train Station] and we go close by
Wednesday 22:14 Girl: alright
Thursday 08:42 CXK: Great, see you then
(read)
Thursday 18:18 CXK: Hey hope you had a fun day
Thursday 18:18 CXK: let’s meet at the side of platform 8
Thursday 18:33 Girl: sounds good! see you there
Thursday 19:01 CXK: There in 2'
Thursday 19:01 Girl: im next to the buses
Thursday 19:06 CXK: Which buses exactly?
Thursday 19:06 Girl: oh I see you
(date happened)
This one worked in the end. Now the date was mostly friendly fun, with no sexual tension really, but that's another issue to be tackled. Regarding the texting I think I approached it well. She did respond fast to my icebreaker but didn't feel very warm or in the mood for chatting. So I feel that my call to not say anything else then and there, and simply propose a date with a scheduler text the next day was pretty good.
Then I also used POB's incredible ping when she tried to elude me and everything worked out in the end, until the date started at least lol
From here then I'd say that if she is not responding enthusiastically to the icebreaker, just going the following day and using a scheduler text is fine.
Interaction 4:
Monday 20:02 CXK: Hey tattoo artist, it’s the IT guy
Monday 21:28 Girl: Hey IT guy
Monday 21:28 Girl: What's up?
Monday 21:43 CXK: Hacking my way through the Pentagon, and you?
Monday 21:46 Girl: Chilling with my cats
Monday 21:46 Girl: They got the zoomies
Monday 21:46 Girl: And I'm entertained
Monday 21:51 CXK: Should have thought about it
Monday 21:51 CXK: The crazy artist with her ten cats
Monday 21:56 Girl: Ofc
Monday 21:56 Girl: What did you expect?
Monday 22:06 CXK: Are you at least the fun kind of crazy?
Monday 22:18 Girl: There is no other way to crazy but fun
Monday 22:27 CXK: Now you're speaking my language
(read)
Wednesday 18:44 CXK: [Voice Message]: Hey cat mama, hope the week is going great. I had a company party yesterday, it was pretty big, lots of fun, and it kinda feels like weekend already. Let me know how these next days look for you. I may be a bit busy, but we could find some time for a relaxed drink.
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: Hey
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: Today I told a client to have a nice weekend
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: So yeah, got it
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: This week I'm pretty busy
Wednesday 19:11 Girl: So maybe the next one
Right before next text CXK: reaction to her last message
Wednesday 21:55 CXK: [Response to "Today I told a client to have a nice weekend"]: You're even deeper than me
Wednesday 21:56 CXK: Any zoomies tonight, or just lazy stuff?
(left on read)
I know that this one looks quite different, there is a reason though. I still don't know the name of that girl. I approached her when she was waiting for a bus, grabbed her number as it was coming, and asked for her name as she was getting in. She told me something along the lines of "you'll get to know it", and left.
I knew from the beginning that this was a weird ending so I mostly wanted to experiment. My plan was to start a small chat, find some way to qualify her, leave it there and then ask her out one two days afterwards as a "by the way, when are you free for a drink?", like two friends who chat from time to time and it's totally normal for one to ask the other out randomly.
As it seems it didn't work that well. I don't dislike my texting the first day, but I find awful what I sent after she said we may meet next week. It's funny because when I read this, I took as totally positive, like she really doesn't have time and we will meet the next week. I don't know why, maybe due to believing that girls do like me, but there are times when I get texts like that or even girls tell me things, and my mind doesn't even go to the possibility that they say them as an excuse to not meet, because for me it is obvious that they would want it. And because I personally use maybe in my life a lot, even if I am pretty sure about something but cannot be 100% sure I may say maybe, I sometimes feel that when others use it it also means: "yeah most probably we are gonna do this, unless something extraordinary happens".
For these reasons I very naturally gave her a thumbs up thinking of an obvious rescheduling, and then sent her two more texts to keep the vibe of the interaction as two people chill with each other that when they find time they meet. Now I think this message especially with the last question was bad, and the thumbs up as well. Maybe I could have sent something without a question, and then just pinged her again with something else few days later, and at some point repropose.
Now I am still thinking of pinging her. Not sure if I should playfully mention the last message, maybe something like: "It was just so lazy you are embarrassed to tell". And then chat a bit and propose again, and keep doing this until she comes out with me or stops answering.
I don't know how much sense it makes to ask for names now, maybe I could, I do think though that apart from taking the name right on the approach, the other good thing would be to immediately address it when texting.
So regarding this I would say that it is important to have enough compliance already before the scheduler text, and the name is a big one that was lacking.
Conclusion
Reaching the end I will first say that I do have some more open text conversations but are even more edge cases: one girl that doesn't speak english at all, one that we started texting after exchanging notes, one from today that hasn't replied to the icebreaker yet, and one who has done it but I haven't read it yet.
But I do feel that these 4 show how I handle text conversations in general, and that the simple structure from the beginning: "Send an ice breaker few hours after meeting -> if she responds send a scheduler text the next day, if she doesn't respond send a scheduler voice message after 2 days -> if more than two days of silence for scheduler text, send a voice message just to catch up without proposing something new, and if silence at the scheduler voice message, wait more days and maybe use some ping as hail marry" isn't the most reliable by itself.
So there should be some adjustments regarding the girls and the scenarios. I'm not even sure if purely by texting we can fully plan this, since I used a lot the vibes I got from these girls to explain my feeling for how I should have gone about the messages.
Maybe one thing to say is that with a very short interaction you need a girl that is pretty into you and your approach to come out with a quick scheduler text. Also if she feels like she wants to talk a bit and connect maybe it's better to do that first, while when she doesn't feel like chatting a lot it's fine to propose something fast.
For this reason I wanted to post some texting interactions I've had with girls lately. Right now, it's the night of Thursday for me, all of these girls I approached during last week by street stops or stopping to talk to them while they were waiting for transit, and all the interactions lasted less than 5 minutes. In all of them my primary strategy was: Send an ice breaker few hours after meeting -> if she responds send a scheduler text the next day, if she doesn't respond send a scheduler voice message after 2 days -> if more than two days of silence for scheduler text, send a voice message just to catch up without proposing something new, and if silence at the scheduler voice message, wait more days and maybe use some ping as hail marry
I will explain why I did certain things in the texting, and also provide my thoughts regarding what it would have been better to do. My goal is to figure out which girls would respond well to which type of texting, and what adjustments I should make to my very straightforward structure. I know there are other texting guides and strategies, sometimes I take things from there, generally though I feel I am coming off very tryhard when I try to text more, and I am trying to have a simple strategy that doesn't require much back and forth to also save me time from the phone.
Interaction 1:
Friday 23:29 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], it’s [CXK Name], lovely to have met
Saturday 13:31 Girl: Hello!
Thanks for the kind compliments yesterday! ☺
Sunday 18:28 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], hope you’ve been enjoying the weekend! I took a short trip to [Place in my country] with friends yesterday, and had a relaxing Sunday with my father
Let me know how the week looks for you, I’m pretty busy on Tuesday, but generally we could find time for a chill drink Tuesday 13:03 Girl: Hello! Nice hearing u had a great weekend.
Im on my way to [Nearby City] for work.
Do u have a preferred place for a drink?
Tuesday 18:35 CXK: Hope it was a nice day
I was thinking of something cool close by, like [Nearby Open Bar]Sometime on Wednesday:
reaction to my last answerIn fact this one I don't feel that bad about. I followed the structure I explained and when she asked about the place, I was clear proposing the bar close by I take most girls. I know she also lives around , since that's where we met close by, and I feel her thumbs up is good.
For here I would say that the fact she responded with a warm thank you but one day later made it a good chance to simply go for a scheduler text.
From now on I am not sure exactly how to move on though. Maybe just texting or sending a voice message one of these days, asking her when she is free for that drink, would be enough.
Interaction 2:
Saturday 22:37 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], it’s [CXK Name], lovely to have met
Saturday 22:38 Girl: Hi
Sunday 18:22 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], hope you had lots of fun in your night out! I’ve had a very cozy day with my father
Let me know how the week looks for you, I’m quite busy on Tuesday, but generally we could find time for that drink (left on read)
Wednesday 18:50 CXK: [Voice Message]: Hey [Girl Name], hope you had a great start in your week. I had a pretty big company party yesterday, and it was a lot of fun, it kinda feels like weekend already. Let me know how it's going for you.
(left on read)
Now here I think I screwed up. Basically the biggest screw up was that I didn't get the girl somewhere then and there. She told me she was going out Saturday night to have a drink by herself, and she was really pretty, my favourite one out of all these numbers. She even responded very well to my approach, and clearly liked me. I couldn't take her at my place that night though and thought instead of going out with her without being able to pull, it would be better to meet another day. I should have probably just asked her to go for a drink together and figure out the rest.
I'm saying all this because she also responded very fast to my icebreaker that night. Not sure if texting then and there would have been better, but I surely think now that the scheduler text the next day was too much for her. I want to mention here that she was an African girl, here to study coming from a far away place, clearly without many friends if she goes out on Saturday night alone, so I should have thought she may need more texting back and forth before asking her out.
She simply felt so warm when we met, and even her immediate first response made me feel it's a done deal with her. I was fairly sad with this result, because she really had something for me. From this I'd say that after a quick warm response to the ice breaker, maybe it's better to exchange one two more messages and not just drop the conversation completely and simply come the next day for a scheduler text.
No idea if anything can be done here after to silences. Maybe I'll send her a good morning ping one day. I was also thinking of letting some more days pass and after next week coming back updating what I have been to and asking how her studies are treating her, mentioning her specific field of studies which is marine biology and haven't mentioned in any text since now.
Interaction 3:
Saturday 22:38 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], it’s [CXK Name], lovely to have met
Saturday 22:46 Girl: oh hey! yeah was nice to meet you
Sunday 18:35 CXK: Hey [Girl Name], hope you’ve enjoyed the moody Sunday, I’ve had a very cozy time with my father! Let me know how the week looks for you, I’m quite busy on Tuesday, but generally we could find time for a relaxed drink
Monday 13:38 Girl: hi! yeah i definitely enjoyed a calm sunday
this week from wednesday or thursday would probably work well for me. earliest around 18:00. would that work for you?
Monday 20:59 CXK: Yes it would
Thursday evening looks great for me as well. What do you say about 19:30?(not read)
Wednesday 20:00 CXK: don’t forget to let me know what you think of the idea
Wednesday 21:21 Girl: oh im sorry i almost forgot!
Wednesday 21:22 Girl: tomorrow works, but 19:00 would be better for me, how about you?
Wednesday 21:29 CXK: Yeah can do 19:00
Wednesday 21:31 CXK: Let’s meet at the [Nearby Train Station] and we go close by
Wednesday 22:14 Girl: alright
Thursday 08:42 CXK: Great, see you then
(read)
Thursday 18:18 CXK: Hey hope you had a fun day
Thursday 18:18 CXK: let’s meet at the side of platform 8
Thursday 18:33 Girl: sounds good! see you there
Thursday 19:01 CXK: There in 2'
Thursday 19:01 Girl: im next to the buses
Thursday 19:06 CXK: Which buses exactly?
Thursday 19:06 Girl: oh I see you
(date happened)
This one worked in the end. Now the date was mostly friendly fun, with no sexual tension really, but that's another issue to be tackled. Regarding the texting I think I approached it well. She did respond fast to my icebreaker but didn't feel very warm or in the mood for chatting. So I feel that my call to not say anything else then and there, and simply propose a date with a scheduler text the next day was pretty good.
Then I also used POB's incredible ping when she tried to elude me and everything worked out in the end, until the date started at least lol
From here then I'd say that if she is not responding enthusiastically to the icebreaker, just going the following day and using a scheduler text is fine.
Interaction 4:
Monday 20:02 CXK: Hey tattoo artist, it’s the IT guy
Monday 21:28 Girl: Hey IT guy
Monday 21:28 Girl: What's up?
Monday 21:43 CXK: Hacking my way through the Pentagon, and you?
Monday 21:46 Girl: Chilling with my cats
Monday 21:46 Girl: They got the zoomies
Monday 21:46 Girl: And I'm entertained
Monday 21:51 CXK: Should have thought about it
Monday 21:51 CXK: The crazy artist with her ten cats
Monday 21:56 Girl: Ofc
Monday 21:56 Girl: What did you expect?
Monday 22:06 CXK: Are you at least the fun kind of crazy?
Monday 22:18 Girl: There is no other way to crazy but fun
Monday 22:27 CXK: Now you're speaking my language
(read)
Wednesday 18:44 CXK: [Voice Message]: Hey cat mama, hope the week is going great. I had a company party yesterday, it was pretty big, lots of fun, and it kinda feels like weekend already. Let me know how these next days look for you. I may be a bit busy, but we could find some time for a relaxed drink.
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: Hey
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: Today I told a client to have a nice weekend
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: So yeah, got it
Wednesday 19:10 Girl: This week I'm pretty busy
Wednesday 19:11 Girl: So maybe the next one
Right before next text CXK:
reaction to her last messageWednesday 21:55 CXK: [Response to "Today I told a client to have a nice weekend"]: You're even deeper than me
Wednesday 21:56 CXK: Any zoomies tonight, or just lazy stuff?
(left on read)
I know that this one looks quite different, there is a reason though. I still don't know the name of that girl. I approached her when she was waiting for a bus, grabbed her number as it was coming, and asked for her name as she was getting in. She told me something along the lines of "you'll get to know it", and left.
I knew from the beginning that this was a weird ending so I mostly wanted to experiment. My plan was to start a small chat, find some way to qualify her, leave it there and then ask her out one two days afterwards as a "by the way, when are you free for a drink?", like two friends who chat from time to time and it's totally normal for one to ask the other out randomly.
As it seems it didn't work that well. I don't dislike my texting the first day, but I find awful what I sent after she said we may meet next week. It's funny because when I read this, I took as totally positive, like she really doesn't have time and we will meet the next week. I don't know why, maybe due to believing that girls do like me, but there are times when I get texts like that or even girls tell me things, and my mind doesn't even go to the possibility that they say them as an excuse to not meet, because for me it is obvious that they would want it. And because I personally use maybe in my life a lot, even if I am pretty sure about something but cannot be 100% sure I may say maybe, I sometimes feel that when others use it it also means: "yeah most probably we are gonna do this, unless something extraordinary happens".
For these reasons I very naturally gave her a thumbs up thinking of an obvious rescheduling, and then sent her two more texts to keep the vibe of the interaction as two people chill with each other that when they find time they meet. Now I think this message especially with the last question was bad, and the thumbs up as well. Maybe I could have sent something without a question, and then just pinged her again with something else few days later, and at some point repropose.
Now I am still thinking of pinging her. Not sure if I should playfully mention the last message, maybe something like: "It was just so lazy you are embarrassed to tell". And then chat a bit and propose again, and keep doing this until she comes out with me or stops answering.
I don't know how much sense it makes to ask for names now, maybe I could, I do think though that apart from taking the name right on the approach, the other good thing would be to immediately address it when texting.
So regarding this I would say that it is important to have enough compliance already before the scheduler text, and the name is a big one that was lacking.
Conclusion
Reaching the end I will first say that I do have some more open text conversations but are even more edge cases: one girl that doesn't speak english at all, one that we started texting after exchanging notes, one from today that hasn't replied to the icebreaker yet, and one who has done it but I haven't read it yet.
But I do feel that these 4 show how I handle text conversations in general, and that the simple structure from the beginning: "Send an ice breaker few hours after meeting -> if she responds send a scheduler text the next day, if she doesn't respond send a scheduler voice message after 2 days -> if more than two days of silence for scheduler text, send a voice message just to catch up without proposing something new, and if silence at the scheduler voice message, wait more days and maybe use some ping as hail marry" isn't the most reliable by itself.
So there should be some adjustments regarding the girls and the scenarios. I'm not even sure if purely by texting we can fully plan this, since I used a lot the vibes I got from these girls to explain my feeling for how I should have gone about the messages.
Maybe one thing to say is that with a very short interaction you need a girl that is pretty into you and your approach to come out with a quick scheduler text. Also if she feels like she wants to talk a bit and connect maybe it's better to do that first, while when she doesn't feel like chatting a lot it's fine to propose something fast.
